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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 02 2011 : 08:12:28 AM
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......... and resulting wisdom.
Hi all.
I had a very harsh night just now, it is related to sex, spiritual development, a bit of maturing I think, and a bit of a big I think Enlightenment Milestone..... if you can call it that.
It is not Tantra, but it is related to sex so I think the guidelines are for topics of this nature to be here if I am correct.
Anyway I would like to write it and bring it out cos I know all of you and I love you.
So here goes. I was awake late up at night looking at some pornographic videos (I don't do it often really, and if I do do it, since beginning Yoga practices I had the desire to see the beauty in sex that happens with love and respect, not the usual pornographic material you see on the net. lol) and I went to a video "tube" site of porn, and scrolling down there was an advertisement to another site........ it was like running clips of the videos you can see on it, running without the need to play it. And what it was was what to me looked like actual sexual acts done to women but with violence, force and aggression. And since I am a sensitive person by nature, and a whole lot more sensitive due to yoga practices, and a little more because I am weaning off some medication at this time. This has caused a shock to my nervous system. Like I have read about those things happening or saw women talking about these things. But the actual thing..... I have never seen. I felt afterwards the "deadness" while alive that the women must feel after such an act. I felt it only a little and I cannot imagine what they must go through, if I have just glimpsed it, they have experienced it fully.
Thankfully I have a divine dog (small one) that loves me very much and started to get scared hearing me murmering and probably feeling my energy and she jumped up on my bed and sat close close to me sharing her energy with me, and I began crying uncontrollable, probably people outside heard me and I could not stop crying out loud. I love her so much. I talked with my psychologist on the phone also and let it out some more. After calming a bit down I had a bath and said to myself while looking in my reflection "I know you" and felt a deep connection in the heart. I said to myself that it wouldn't matter what in the world would happen or what I would do I LOVE myself. And I felt that I loved me so much for going through this experience however hurtful it may be. I love me. I can't change it it is a fact. FACT! and cannot be broken even if I may think otherwise.
Namaste everyone and thank you. |
Edited by - Yonatan on Mar 03 2011 6:28:44 PM |
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cosmic
USA
821 Posts |
Posted - Mar 02 2011 : 3:05:13 PM
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Thank you for sharing this, Yonatan. You have a beautiful heart. I love you [img]icon_heart.gif[/img]
Love
cosmic |
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - Mar 02 2011 : 4:41:08 PM
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Beautiful sharing! Learning that you love yourself is huge!
Peace & Love. |
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zeroman52
United Kingdom
47 Posts |
Posted - Mar 03 2011 : 11:06:14 AM
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I had this alot, i would feel in my heart real sorrow for something aweful happening in the world then i would be told by myself i am love which warmed my whole heart.
I think it is the start of discovering unconditional love which only gives. |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Mar 03 2011 : 11:39:03 AM
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Much LOVE to you friends :)
May all be well with you and all [img]icon_heart.gif[/img] |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Mar 03 2011 : 11:41:13 AM
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| Zero man, yes thank you, this is very important, when there is knowledge coming from your heart it is undoubtable, the mind may come in and say otherwise but inside you know the truth. thank you :) |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Mar 04 2011 : 1:12:49 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Yonatan
This has caused a shock to my nervous system.
There is stuff on the internet that you would probably faint if you see.
But its there coz there are people who like that kind of stuff.
What brings joy to some... brings tears and sorrow to you.
Strange isn't it?
SUKHA-ASUKHAVORBAHIRMANANAM
TADVIMUKTASTU KEVALI
TADARORHAPRANITESTATKSHAYAJ JIVASANKSHYA
BHOOTAKANSHUKI TADAVIMUKTO BHUYAH PATISAMAH PARAH
OM SHRI SHIVARPANAM SATU
HAPPINESS AND SORROW ARE BUT EXTERNAL MOODS -- THIS HE KNOWS CONSTANTLY.
FREED FROM THESE, HE ACHIEVES HIS ALONENESS.
THE YOGI WHO IS ESTABLISHED IN HIS ALONENESS CEASES TO DESIRE, AND THUS ATTAINS FREEDOM FROM BIRTH AND DEATH.
THE LIBERATED PERSON, FOR WHOM BODY AND MIND ARE NO MORE THEN CLOTHING, ATTAINS TO SHIVAHOOD.
OM! THIS IS DEDICATED TO LORD SHIVA.
~Shiva Sutra
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Mar 04 2011 : 2:42:19 PM
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manigma yes...... I wonder though, if they would have glimpsed the more subtle states, will they choose to gravitate again and again to the coarse ones....
I think everything has a place in the world..... In the Now. and that there is a reason why I did gravitate to this thing. nothing to do but release, release release. Relax, I am here. |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Mar 05 2011 : 01:22:48 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Yonatan
I think everything has a place in the world..... In the Now.
There can be either the World or the Now.
The world is divided between your Heart and your Mind.
Emotion and Logic.
Go beyond both and just see.
Where is your world?
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Chiron
Russia
397 Posts |
Posted - Mar 05 2011 : 02:11:43 AM
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Had to quit watching porn because of its negative effects on the subconscious..
Anyway, felt like the Sacred Apology to Women would be a fitting video for this thread:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6v9_ZJpxXc |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Mar 05 2011 : 10:40:31 AM
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emc
2072 Posts |
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Chiron
Russia
397 Posts |
Posted - Mar 05 2011 : 7:53:36 PM
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In that video Barry Long says: "Sex is violence. That means its trying to reach an end - either orgasm or a power over another"
That's not always true since there is another (albeit rare) type of sex which is empowering and freeing for both and where orgasm is not an end. |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2011 : 03:43:06 AM
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... and that is what Barry Long calles "love". He points to the difference between ego-wanting-HAVING sex and noone-being-MAKING love. Physical action is the same. The address where you come from - totally different.
Pornography of ALL kinds is nothing but sex. It is only produced by minds for minds. No love whatsoever. |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2011 : 12:40:02 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by emc
Pornography of ALL kinds is nothing but sex. It is only produced by minds for minds. No love whatsoever.
We used to watch porn movies at my friend's house in old days- Mr. Sperm, our Sex Guru , I have taked about him earlier:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=7944
Last year he sent me a porn movie called RAW 6 and said its his favorite and that I must watch. The name is supid but after watching it I feel porn movies are not like the old days anymore.
Some scenes were so intense/real/loving... almost close to Tantric Sex. I was amazed with the actor's performance, he looked so natural and in love.
Well our existense, the Universe and this Earth were born during a violent act. So naturally the beings here seem to act bit violent when having sex... an act of creation.
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HathaTeacher
Sweden
382 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2011 : 2:53:02 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by emc
...Physical action is the same. The address where you come from - totally different.
Very much so. The more the ego wants to, the less quality you get. Also, it's a lot about widened awareness and presence, to the point of really being the lovemaking when you're there, and, not thinking about sex when you're not there. Practicing full awareness in some everyday down-to-earth situations is a very good preparatory exercise for tantra. |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2011 : 2:59:22 PM
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Mm, Hathateacher. Exactly!  |
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swaha
Lebanon
88 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2011 : 5:21:49 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by manigma
Well our existense, the Universe and this Earth were born during a violent act. So naturally the beings here seem to act bit violent when having sex... an act of creation.
intensity and creation need not be violent. |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2011 : 11:35:03 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by swaha
quote:
Originally posted by manigma
Well our existense, the Universe and this Earth were born during a violent act. So naturally the beings here seem to act bit violent when having sex... an act of creation.
intensity and creation need not be violent.
Well its just a little bit... you know.
Bigbang.
Smallbang.
Bang Bang.
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Chiron
Russia
397 Posts |
Posted - Mar 10 2011 : 12:12:15 AM
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| lol |
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swaha
Lebanon
88 Posts |
Posted - Mar 10 2011 : 12:20:45 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by manigma
Well its just a little bit... you know.
Bigbang.
Smallbang.
Bang Bang.
mmm i see what u mean 
but when the door is open to receive, no BANG BANG..... the guest just gets in and out smoothly ... non violently... but ... intensely... yes 
it's all about the door opening 
the art of opening the door
you can bang bang or you can gently scratch it and whisper the right password |
Edited by - swaha on Mar 10 2011 12:29:03 AM |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Mar 10 2011 : 12:28:30 AM
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Well, we weren't born during the violence, just the framework we live in.
And that is all speculation anyway. You know, one hand clapping. . . If nobody was there, was it really violent?
Violence is a function of the vulnerability of those present.
What would be violent to a new born only tickles a tiger.
So if nobody was present. . .was the big bang violent? |
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swaha
Lebanon
88 Posts |
Posted - Mar 10 2011 : 12:32:30 AM
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nobody...nobody...who is present anyway?
who is BIGBANG? who is nobody?
.............
. |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Mar 10 2011 : 12:41:20 AM
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| I meant there wasn't a human body present. |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Mar 10 2011 : 7:26:17 PM
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"People often mistake sex for love... especially men" A woman friend once said that to me, and it came back to me tonight. I think she is saying that what we all truly desire is be loved, but we, and men especially, tend to accept sexual stimulation apart from a loving relationship (for example, watching porn) as a substitute. I am not sure she is right, but I am going to test it. Next time I feel like clicking onto a porn page, I am going to ask myself, "Am I feeling loved right now?" "Am I desiring love right now?"
If the answer is that I am longing for love, then the next question is: "How do I actually find love?" "How does anyone really find love?" |
Edited by - bewell on Mar 10 2011 7:29:21 PM |
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Victor
USA
910 Posts |
Posted - Mar 11 2011 : 12:58:16 AM
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| I couldn't watch the apology to women. First of all the guy seemed creepy, secondly, maybe he has reason to apologise to women, but it does not resonate with me. Quite the contrary, when I think of the women that i have loved, opened myself to and been intimate, all I can feel is grateful that I haven't been messed over more badly than I have so far. Yoga celibacy has been a blessing in that it has helped me feel much less dependent on women for my happiness and as such more calm and drama free in general. Apologies? NO! Appreciation, in some cases very much so. |
Edited by - Victor on Mar 11 2011 01:01:23 AM |
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Experience
