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nirmal
Germany
438 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 31 2010 : 4:15:27 PM
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Hello everybody,
During this holiday season I have changed my Samyama sutras to "Love"
(to the world;to me), "Peace"(to the world;to me),and "Light" (to the
world;to me). The first time I did this, and I can´t explain it, but I actually felt my consciousness rising.
This morning as I did this, I had an incredible experience. My Ishta, Jesus Christ, was walking along beside me and holding my hand. Tears were rolling down my face with such a profound sense of sweet joy!!!
His voice was the most gentle and softest voice I have ever heard and he was saying he has always been at my side and would always be at my side. He was wearing long, flowing white robes. I know I will never be alone and am acutely aware of his presence now.
I wonder if this is a spiritual experience or a religious one? I realise the two can have similarities, but I would prefer spiritual. Anyway, My life has been dramatically changed, never to be the same,
and I thank God for whatever reason!
L,P&L,
nirmal
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2011 : 8:55:02 PM
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nirmal
I thank God too, and I thank you for sharing.
Would you be willing to share a little about what Jesus Christ has meant to you before this beautiful experience?
Be
PS I stumbled onto this note soon after writing:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....D=5330#47447
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2011 : 9:01:45 PM
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Thanks for sharing this with us Nirmal.
Much love to you and wish you a wonderful new year.
PS: Why label it spiritual or religious? Just love it as it is ... like you are doing right now. |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2011 : 9:15:12 PM
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Beautiful experience Nirmal,
Love and Light to you |
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nirmal
Germany
438 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2011 : 06:56:02 AM
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Thanks everyone,
I was raised going to church on Sundays and to Bible school as a child when too young to sit in the congregation. Nothing special. My Grand Mother Moses(really!) studied the Bible intellectually and taught Sunday school. When I left home to go to college is where my church going days ended, except for maybe once or twice outside of services, usually at night(before they started locking the doors) for quiet reflexion. I have always believed Jesus was the son of God, and always have loved him and his preachings of love and forgiveness.
I guess what I was trying to say in my post was is how does this experience relate to my spritual path? What does it mean in regards to AYP? Is this maybe part of the merging, or am I being to bold?(lol!)
Love, Peace,and Light,
nirmal |
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nirmal
Germany
438 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2011 : 11:04:36 AM
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No, I realise the merging must be a much more subtle, inward thing, how do I say when I don´t know at all what it is, but I think it could not be something like this. Any thoughts anybody?
nirmal |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2011 : 1:00:21 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by nirmal
...how does this experience relate to my spritual path? What does it mean in regards to AYP? Is this maybe part of the merging, or am I being to bold?(lol!)
"Now you have a real motivation not to miss your daily meditation."
Lesson 67 - Bhakti – The science of devotion
http://www.aypsite.org/67.html
Thank you so much for sharing. Your journey is an inspiration |
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nirmal
Germany
438 Posts |
Posted - Jan 03 2011 : 01:05:23 AM
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Amen,brother,
To put in an old hippie´s terms, I´m really getting into meditation these days, the pranayama is really cool and the yoni mudra is really far out!(these 2 especially for me now).
L,P,L,
nirmal |
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nirmal
Germany
438 Posts |
Posted - Jan 03 2011 : 01:31:29 AM
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Hey bewell,
You recommended Anthony De Mello? Can you tell me something about him? The name is familiar...
You opened a lot of doors for me by re-directing me back to the lesson on Bhakti. I read it as if for the first time and understood it like I didn´t before. The science of Bhakti of re-directing emotions to your Ishta! How can I ever thank you enough for this gift?! Thank you!
By the way, where are you from?!
nirmal |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Jan 03 2011 : 06:47:28 AM
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nirmal
I have not read De Mello myself. In my relationship to the Christian mystical tradition, I have been doing Centering Prayer as taught by Thomas Keating for 15 years (which involves two twenty minute sits each day, along with group retreat experiences and a monthly support group). After my "kundalini rising" about ten years ago my cultivation of inner silence/witness practice (centering) got blended with AYP spinal breathing and other techniques.
I am thrilled to learn that you enjoyed the Main Lesson on Bhakti so much. Likewise, reflecting on that teaching in light of your experience really brought it to life for me.
I am from Baltimore, USA currently, but my family roots (Amish and Mennonite) go back to early 18th century Switzerland.
be |
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nirmal
Germany
438 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2011 : 02:13:46 AM
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be, can you describe your kundalini rising experience? I had one also in 2004. This Christian Mystical traditian, Thomas Keating and Centering Prayer experience sounds interesting, but I feel myself becomong how does Yogani put it, "getting distracted along the way and like with the mantra, easily favoring it and going back to it?(the practice).
Thanks,
nirmal |
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nirmal
Germany
438 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2011 : 02:16:59 AM
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| I forgot to ask you be, how did my experience with Jesus and the lesson on Bhakti really "bring it home for you?" I guess it should be obvious, but I want to hear it from your perspective.-nirmal |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2011 : 05:46:23 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by nirmal
...how did my experience with Jesus and the lesson on Bhakti really "bring it home for you?"
Nirmal
Thanks for asking!
It struck me how your use of language and your situation made an uncanny match with Yogani's Lesson 67 - Bhakti – The science of devotion. Here are the three main examples:
1) Nirmal, you wrote of "My Ishta, Jesus Christ..."
Yogani wrote: "Only you know what burns brightest in your heart. That is your highest ideal, that which burns like a beacon in your heart. Maybe it is Jesus. Maybe Krishna. Maybe Allah. Maybe your guru. Maybe the light inside you. It can be anything. Only you can know. Whoever or whatever it is, it is yours. It is personal. You will know it when you see it because it will burn like a beacon in you. It will be all goodness, all progress, projecting no harm toward anyone. It is that which leads you home to pure bliss consciousness and divine ecstasy. In the language of bhakti, it is called "ishta," which means, "chosen ideal." You choose it."
2) Nirmal, you used the word "merging" -- You asked, "Is this maybe part of the merging, or am I being to bold?(lol!) Then you said: "No, I realise the merging must be a much more..."
Yogani used the idea of "merging" very similarly in this story:
"...suppose we are stuck at a traffic light and getting frustrated because we are late for an appointment. A lot of emotional energy is there getting frittered away. So we are frustrated. Take that frustration and redirect it. With your attention you can easily let the red light go as the object of the frustration simmering there. Easily bring in your highest ideal as the object. It is much like meditation. You easily favor one thought object over another. So now you are frustrated about your highest ideal. "God damned ishta! Why am I not MERGED with you yet? I am very frustrated!" Now you have a real motivation not to miss your daily meditation. Not only that, your emotional energy directed in that way produces spiritual changes inside your nervous system. It opens your nervous system to your ideal. It is ironic that we can't change a red light with our emotions, but we can open our nervous system to the divine with them. It seems like a worthwhile thing to do, doesn't it?"
3) Nirmal you chose to frame your experience as an "Enlightenment Milestone" and you were puzzling over what it would mean for your future. That fit with this part of Yogani's teaching:
"Now you have a real motivation not to miss your daily meditation."
Lesson 67 - Bhakti – The science of devotion
http://www.aypsite.org/67.html
That is what an enlightenment milestone is all about! In the sticky at the heading of the "Enlightenment Milestones" thread here, Yogani writes about what he intends for this thread:
"The question is not so much, what is enlightenment? The question is, what are we doing every day to purify and open to our full inner potential? If we do that, we will begin to get a flavor of what enlightenment is soon enough. Then it is not a theory or a philosophical determination anymore. It is by direct experience, and we can very simply put it in our own words." That seemed to address your particular situation too.
For my part, I have been enjoying reading the Main Lessons lately. But instead of applying the lessons to my situation as I did the first time around, this time I have been applying them to other people's situations. That is good for me because the lessons come to life in a new way -- it helps me understand the mind of Yogani -- and if my application fits, it is good for others too!
Isn't it wonderful when there is such a fullness of meaning |
Edited by - bewell on Jan 04 2011 06:32:33 AM |
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nirmal
Germany
438 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2011 : 2:30:44 PM
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be, I use the word merging because it is my sense of what maybe enlightenment might be, a merging with the divine. Jesus I chose as my Ishta because He is the only one who to me was/is near to perfect as I have ever encountered. And I chose this forum because maybe I thought this experience was a milestone on this path of mine!
Can you tell me about your kundalini rising?
L,P, &L,
nirmal |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2011 : 7:32:55 PM
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nirmal
What shall I say about my journey with kundalini rising? I could go on and on, but I will be selective. There were a series of phases, each phase building on the one before as I grew out of each phase.
-- I stopped initiating sex. Back in '95 I went through a powerful spiritual experience during sleep paralysis. I had never heard of "kundalini" before, nor had I heard much about how fewer conventional orgasms could lead to increased inner energy pleasure, but intuitively through that experience, I knew there was an inner pleasure "better than sex," and I stopped asking my wife for sex. I started enjoying cuddling as an end in itself like back when we were dating, and only had sex when she felt like it which was a lot less than before.
-- getting into a structured meditation practice, twice daily twenty minutes each sit. That went together with yoga asana practice. At that stage I heard about kundalini, but I doubted whether it had anything to do with me yet. That went on for about ten years.
-- automatic yoga. I was working at a bread bakery, and I would come home very physically tired in the afternoon and take solitary naps. I started noticing intense inner pleasure when I awoke from the naps and one day, it was so powerful that by body went into spasms of pleasure like with an orgasm, but without any external stimulation and without a conventional climax. I started letting my body go into that undulating movement daily and it became more and more intense and even aerobic until one day I was in that movement and I felt some fundamental inner terror. That is when I first decided to consult someone.
-- Mixing the spontaneous and the willful. I consulted by phone with an expert in the field of Kundalini, Stuart Sovatsky, PhD. I also read his books. He helped me understand the automatic movements in yogic terminology. Over time I became more adept at knowing how to mix willful and spontaneous movements, always delighting in opening new channels.
-- Networking continues with nearby connections. I was wondering where the energy was coming from, and I started to find some possible energetic sources. As I mentioned I was working at a bakery, but I had not know until that stage that many years before, my boss had been a yoga student and had studied with Muktananda at his ashram in India. I also learned that a woman who lived across the street from me and who I was in a meditation group with weekly was doing Yogi Bajan Kundalini yoga using video tapes. One day I let her see me in my "automatic yoga" and she was amazed because of how much it resembled the yoga that she was learning on her videos (without herself feeling any inner energy rising). I suspected that I was soaking in the vibes from my boss and from her when my solitary practice sprang up.
Also in those days, it so happened that I met a Harvard grad student in the field of brain science/consciousness studies, a young man who was of the same ethnic community as the Dali Lama and who knew the Dali Lama personally. He started to do summer work at the bakery (looking back, that coincidence amazes me). So I got into conversations with him about inner energy and consciousness and meditation and so on. It was once when I was meditated with him that I really felt my shushumna come alive with the ida and pingala energies moving in beautiful harmonious S shapes. It was also informative to hear from him about growing up among the elite of the Tibetan exiles in India.
-- In the course of maybe a year, the outer movements calmed down. It was around then in 2006 that I found AYP and started doing SBP and other practices taught here.
-- Increasingly there is a stable blend of Kundlaini energy and stillness/silence blended together in a constant sort of "pre-orgasmic bliss" way of being. Also there is a broader sense of merging facilitated with self-inquiry -- a much greater sense of participating in something universal. Not feeling so unusual. And that brings me up to now, more or less
Thanks for asking. It was fun reflecting on that process. I do not think I ever told about it that way before, so thanks again for listening.
What about you. Would you care to share more?
Be |
Edited by - bewell on Jan 05 2011 05:04:36 AM |
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nirmal
Germany
438 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2011 : 09:48:59 AM
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Thanks for asking Be. You may or may not be aware of awhile back I had been struggling with the notion of whether my state of mind was a result of my kundalini rising or bipolar disorder. I am relieved to say that my troubles were directly caused from bipolar disorder. I am thinking now more clearly and sharper than I ever have in my entire life, and I see these things very clear now. It has now been 2 years since I have had a mood change, and I thank my Ishta, Jesus Christ, Yogani & AYP, the support of my family,and bipolar medications. My husband & I have had trial after trial and loss after loss, that after so much loss after so many years, the last loss of his loosing his company and our family of two 2yr twin boys homeless on the streets was more than I could bear. We had one true friend in Greece who flew us there and gave us a new life, thank God. I´ll spare you the details of my long, dark nightmare into hell from which I very nearly didn´t make it back, several times.
I was in a manic state in the States prior and to the move to Greece. It was while practicing the bow pose that I experienced the powerful, sensous, heavenly surge from my root chakra to my crown chakra. This wonderful sensation lasted for several days and I thoroughly enjoyed every second of it! People have tried to tell me that it was a premature kundalini or whatever, but I know in my heart that it was sweet awakening! Even now I consider kundalini my friend, as she warns me when I overdo things physically. I heed her advice, and go cool down!
I have started the science of bhakti and today I was having some emotional pain over something, and my ishta answered back! Is that common?
Thanks for listening. I hope I made sense. I know my life is convoluted; what a book it would make!
Love, Peace and Light,
nirmal |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2011 : 11:24:18 AM
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nirmal
So, are you and your husband are living in Greece now? In the late '90s my wife and I had a Greek friend here in the US who has since moved back, and she definitely would have been the type to fly us there to rescue us if we had need -- she was very much into care-taking, and I suspect a lot of it was influenced by her culture. We went to a Greek Orthodox Church service with her once in Lansing, Michigan -- a beautiful experience.
Sometimes sorrow and loss can turn to joy and freedom. So it was for my wife and me when we were unable to have children. One of the results of that was forming bonds with other childless people such as, for example, the Greek woman I mentioned.
Trying to have biological children and failing changed my view of the "sex drive" -- it became a procreation drive and "the act" was not such great pleasure when it became like work, and over time, quite unsatisfying work with lots of tears every month.
If we had had children back then when we were in our early 30s, the children would be in high school now. Instead we have an early "empty nest" -- we are dept free and it is just the two of us living in our house. My wife quit her tenure track teaching job, and, thanks to tight budgeting (and doing things like getting rid of the car) we are getting an early start on retirement -- plenty of time for yoga.
Lately my wife is showing interest in joining me in twenty minute sits. This is new. Last night her first comment after the sit was, "I enjoyed the silence."
About your ishta answering your question in a time of emotional pain. Sure, I think that is normal. Jesus Christ does not seem to speak to me personally, but I am told it happens all the time For me the silence is the greatest gift because that is space for healing and discernment.
Love, and light,
Be
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Edited by - bewell on Jan 05 2011 2:33:37 PM |
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nirmal
Germany
438 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2011 : 1:00:18 PM
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Be, no, we had another loss, which brought us back here to Germany.(my husband is German) We have been here now for 3 years. I can empathasise with infertility. We tried for years and years to get pregnant. I remember one time having my period begin on Mother´s day. It wasn´t until we went to a clinic in Poland that we were successful, me at age 45! The boys are now 11, and they keep me young, or old, depending on which day you ask me!
Love,
nirmal |
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nirmal
Germany
438 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2011 : 1:37:10 PM
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| Be, I forgot to mention to you to please comment about my kundalini rising experience.- nirmal |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2011 : 8:28:07 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by nirmal
...please comment about my kundalini rising experience.
Nirmal
Ok. You wrote: "It was while practicing the bow pose that I experienced the powerful, sensous, heavenly surge from my root chakra to my crown chakra. This wonderful sensation lasted for several days and I thoroughly enjoyed every second of it!"
I have empathy for what you describe here. Do you experience something like that, a tamer version of "the powerful, sensous, heavenly surge from my root chakra to my crown" currently when you do your Spinal Breathing Pranayama in-breath? What about the "wonderful sensation" that lasted for several days after, do you have sensations like that in daily life these days?
Be |
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nirmal
Germany
438 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2011 : 01:52:37 AM
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Be,no,i´m afraid I don´t. It was just a one time thing. I have wondered about doing the bow pose again, but a little bit cautious there. So, you are saying that it happening only once means it was just a kundalini surge and nothing more? It still is to me a taste of the divine to me! Couldn`t it Still be called an Awakening???
You know Be these conversations have opened my eyes and given me new perspectives in ways I have never seen before. I am grateful, and I thank you. My whole spiritual journey now takes on new meaning.
And I´m sorry I didn´t respond to your kundalini story. I was blown away! I am in kindergarden and you are graduated from college!!!
Love,
nirmal |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2011 : 04:04:09 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by nirmal
It was just a one time thing. I have wondered about doing the bow pose again, but a little bit cautious there.
There are two sides of the mythic "kundalini" dance, Shakti and Shiva, Shakti is action, Shiva is silence. Receptivity to Shakti power is enhanced by dwelling in the still, silence of Shiva. That is why the AYP approach has Deep Meditation -- cultivating inner silent "bliss" -- along with Spinal Breathing -- cultivating pranic energy conductivity. Perhaps a regular Deep Meditation practice would eventually lead to a readiness to experience in a safe, stable way some more of that energy you encountered in the boat pose. I cannot say what will happen in any particular mind/body journey, but the AYP approach seems to provide a map of the broad picture of the path.
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nirmal
Germany
438 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2011 : 09:24:19 AM
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I´m sorry, Be but you´re hedging. I just wanted a reply to my questions.
I´ll say no more about it. After all, nobody can tell me what is or is not. Only me, by looking into my heart, can say what is or is not.
nirmal
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nirmal
Germany
438 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2011 : 11:07:06 AM
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I´m sorry, I´m very forgetful...but this needs to be said. You asked if I experienced the kundalini during practice and I said it happened only once. Bear in mind I had been very sick with bipolar for several Years from in-between the kundalini experience. I stopped my spiritual practice in 2005 and did not to re-start it until last year.
I hope this clears things up!
nirmal |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2011 : 1:14:33 PM
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Nirmal
I'm feeling a lot of love for you right now. I appreciate your being honest with where you are at.
As to my discernment of where you are at in terms of kundalini awakening, I guess I was hedging. I am cautious about labels, and prefer to focus on practices and the big picture and experiences.
In friendship,
Be |
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nirmal
Germany
438 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2011 : 4:41:56 PM
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Thanks very much Be. I don´t know how how else to be but honest. I think I am still in 2010. I re-started my spiritual practices in 2009! Incidentally, that´s 2 year´s normal moods and 2 years DM! Curious,eh?
In friendship to you, too and everybody here at AYP!!!
In Love, Peace and Light,
nirmal |
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love, peace, and light
