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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 01 2010 : 10:09:51 AM
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Hi Amoux  Hope you had a great time in Holland at your workshop!
Yes, something has definitely "shifted" here with the release of whatever was being held on the right side of the chest. The Silence has deepened big time, and not just during practice times, but in every moment as well. And my sensitivity to practices seems to have dramatically increased also. I am having to be very careful with how much practice I am doing and I am having to stay very conscious of listening to the body as it seems to give me subtle clues as to when it has had enough. In the past I would have just blown on through these subtle clues and paid the price for it, but the awareness seems to pick up on the right away now and I am paying attention. I have no desire to experience anything like what was experienced on Saturday afternoon again. 
Here's a big virtual hug from cold, dark Calgary (((((((HUG)))))))
Love!
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amoux
United Kingdom
266 Posts |
Posted - Nov 01 2010 : 11:05:53 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
Hi Amoux Hope you had a great time in Holland at your workshop!
Truly wonderful - a mixture of meditation, mantra, heartsongs, making a mandala, Tibetan prayer flags, family constellation work, healing, laughter - and the most transformative firewalk I have ever done. Really 'seeing' how the mind has innocently taken charge - not intellectually comprehending it, but seeing/feeling it. And the simplicity of it all, when the inner guru is leading the way. How easy and graceful it is. Very difficult to put this clearly in words - but oh, such grace
Namaste _/\_
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Edited by - amoux on Nov 01 2010 11:10:10 AM |
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BuddhiHermit
United Kingdom
84 Posts |
Posted - Nov 01 2010 : 7:38:39 PM
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Carson, All,
I had the opportunity to enquire into this kind of clearing a little more deeply, and hopefully the information proves useful - if only with hindsight.
There are times in our progress, when we must deal with existential pain. One of the most basic of these, is separation pain, generally experienced at one stage removed, as alone-ness, or at second stage, as sadness or loneliness.
My own experience is of separating from the Divine, as part of the birth process, coming into this incarnation. Having pretty well resolved this, (not without significant anguish), I was puzzled by a need to say goodbye in later years, and a sense of loss(plenty of different & similar anguish again).
I had believed that this was the same issue, not fully resolved, but rather,the answer seems to lie in the presence of two separations: a separation from Prakriti (as mother) into manifestation in the first instance, and then from Prakriti to Purusha when facing enlightenment, or in deep meditation/samadhi.
Any additional insights or comments are always welcome.
Namaste |
Edited by - BuddhiHermit on Nov 01 2010 7:54:55 PM |
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Pheel
China
318 Posts |
Posted - Nov 02 2010 : 8:53:50 PM
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Hi friends,
After automatic yoga in the middle of sleep for two nights, and ecstatic heart opening in one night, I had a overload today. Already in asanas I felt the warm energy was going to be fiery. And when sitted, the nervous system didn't even want to do the practice. I couldn't imagine the rest of the day without the practice, so continued. 6min SBP and 15 Min DM felt very fiery and drying. At the end of DM, mantra couldn't be continued. After a long rest, I still feel very fiery and at some point felt it's about to explode. very unpleasant. Reflecting on the cause, I think it might be the automatic kumbhaka during SPB. I think my mind might have just triggered it when I was not even conscious.
The symptoms are under control after dinner and long walk. What had kept me worrying a bit is the crown activities. There's always some energy grooving and furrowing to the top of the head, the forehead and the back of the head, even during sleep. I tried solar enhancement, and concentrating on the sole of my feet, which didn't bring it down. I was a bit resistant to it, I guess, because am afraid of premature crown opening. Just wanna check with the senior aypers here what should I do with this. Any comment or suggestion would be greatly appreciated!
So I guess I'll cut practices time off substantially and the overload should go away. The lesson I learned from this is that I really need to learn to be modest and to fine tune my practice in order to avoid these ups and downs. I have realized this is increasingly important to a stable and safe path.
Namaste!
Phil
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Nov 12 2010 : 7:26:49 PM
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Hi Everyone
Just thought I would give an update on how things are going here with the "post retreat purification"....
I seem to have come into a new phase of sensitivity to practices due to this retreat. I am still going through some overload, although I have brought it down to a manageable level with some serious self pacing.
I have cut out all asana (other then 3 times a week during the AYP classes I am teaching), I have dropped all pranayama, and I am only able to do between 15 and 20 minutes of "I am" DM (was using the third mantra enhancement for years and have gone back to just Ayam) per sitting. I often don't even make it to the full 20 minutes of DM before I start to get some head pressure and I stop DM right then.
I have been resting for a minimum of 20 minutes after practices and have increased grounding activities significantly as well.
I tried adding in 5 minutes of SBP this morning to see how I would react and was only able to do 12 minutes of DM afterwards before I got some serious head pressure....it has stayed with me most of the day. I also got a bit of a rash today at the heart center. I was feeling like I had a bit of a sunburn in the middle of my chest during the day at work today, but I was so busy that I didn't really pay much attention to it. But when I came home from work and took my shirt off to get ready for meditation, I showed my wife and she confirmed that indeed it physically looks like I have a sunburn at the heart center (and a bit above it as well). The center of my chest is also significantly hotter in temperature then anywhere else on my body. I did no pranayam or asana for my second practice today and just did 20 minutes of DM (with ayam).
Anyways, it seems that the retreat, followed by the dramatic purification episode talked about in the earlier posts in this thread, have opened me up and exposed me to a new level of sensitivity and a whole new set of obstructions to be worked through. I have a whole new respect for the power of the practices, the power of retreats, and the necessity of self-pacing.
Play safe everyone!
Love!
P.S> Almost forgot... 5 days after the dramatic purification episode described earlier in this thread, my body went through a pretty massive physical restructuring during an afternoon asana practice. I was going through my usual sequence when the kundalini kinda took over....I was lead through some postures I wouldn't normally do, some which I wouldn't normally be ABLE to do, all of which were centered around opening the upper right side of the torso....the location where something was released 5 days earlier. The result has been quite incredible. My posture is totally different...my body holds itself differently then before and I have increased mobility in my right shoulder (which has been hindered for over a decade due to some sports injuries) Also, the energy is obviously (for me) flowing more smoothly through the body now. All of this I attribute to the opening and purification started at the retreat. It's still continuing basically 1 month later. |
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Pheel
China
318 Posts |
Posted - Nov 12 2010 : 11:09:52 PM
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Hi dear dear brother Carson,
I was about to write about this, and saw your post. I am going through a very similar phase to yours.
Here is the brief trajectory of my post retreat purification:
1. Heart opening/organism a few days after
2. serious overload primarily because of the automatic kumbhaka. The energy turns from warm and ecstatic to fiery, drying and explosive.
I significantly cut off my practices after this overload. For a couple of days I could no longer do more than 10 minutes of DM without SPB.
3. A few days after that the energy seemed to turn warm and wavy and ecstatic.
4. Now when I gradually creep my DM time back and add a few mintutes of SPB. I overloaded. The energy turned firey again. My lips are dry and cracked. My upper body felt congested. and when I often suddenly felt the energy was about to explode in practice and had to be forced to stop. Very Unpleasant!
Guess I will do some substantial cutting off of practice again. May be just 10-15 min DM only. My sensitivity has been drastically increased, too. And I felt I was definitely being brought from the 1st phase to the 2nd phase of enlightenment by the retreat. The major feeling now is inner sensory experience and connectivity.
I think I need to let go the will to rush back the normal practices and speed up the process. it's my ego. I need to accept this condition and be with the reduced practice time for a while, at least a month or so.
Love and healing to you, Carson, and anyone who's going through a lot of purification like me!
Phil |
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yogani
USA
5242 Posts |
Posted - Nov 13 2010 : 11:52:22 AM
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Hi Carson and Phil:
Along with self-pacing, more grounding activity and a heavier diet leaning toward pita pacifying can help. Basically all the measures discussed in Lesson 69.
More importantly, if this sort of overload and sensitivity is occurring for people coming off a retreat, then we will go back and look at the retreat structure and fine tune it for a smoother transition back into daily activity. Being the first in the USA, the Allentown retreat was rather gung-ho in a variety of practice areas, and now we are seeing the results of that. It's okay. These are matters that can be addressed with the retreat leaders for implementing a less aggressive retreat structure, leading to smoother transitions back into activity. It is yet another aspect of self-pacing.
We keep learning as we go along.
The guru is in you.
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Pheel
China
318 Posts |
Posted - Nov 13 2010 : 2:16:08 PM
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Hi Yogani,
Thank you very much for the advice!
As about the effect of the retreat. I heard other people have been having a very smooth transition after the retreat. So it definitely has a lot to do with type of sensitivities. Carson and I are both on the super sensitive side, I guess. Having discovered this now, we will be more paced and careful after the retreat. Oh perhaps in the next retreat, the different sensitivity types can be taken into account?
Namaste,
Phil |
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DansInEveryWay
USA
26 Posts |
Posted - Nov 30 2010 : 8:47:54 PM
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Hey everyone!
I've got some feedback that I'd like to share that might save someone from the post-retreat madness I had.. The retreat was an invaluable experience providing incredible insights and openings, and fostering a complete openness with everything and everyone there...a real game changer... But after coming back I tried to ride the high by adding samyama and doing an occasional asana routine, I got completely burnt out, and there was a nasty crash from trying to sustain the experience by bolstering my daily practices.
It's actually taken a few weeks to recover. I had to completely lay off practices for 4 days, and had to limit DM to 20 minutes once a day because of the irritability and self loathing that was going on. I'm just about now about back to my tolerance of practice before the retreat... but I'm still being careful. Everything is well now after staying grounded for those 4 days and then slowly picking back up again.
Yogani said "fine tune it [the retreat] for a smoother transition back into daily activity." I think that is a VERY important, yet too easily overlooked point. The retreat was an incredibly powerful experience for me, (I'm at just about a year into AYP) so I'd just like to support what Yogani said with my experience.
After all that, to anyone considering going on a retreat that hasn't yet done so, DO IT! The retreat itself is the perfect venue for growing, just keep an even keel with your routine after arriving back home. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Dec 01 2010 : 08:04:33 AM
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Thanks for sharing DansInEveryWay.
Glad you are feeling better.
This was my first retreat, organizing and attending. So I was not aware of a lot of things that went with the power of a retreat and the power after the retreat .
Anyway, based on what I have read and what some other people have said, I have come up with a few points to keep in mind for those who are attending an AYP retreat.
1) Keep the next few days after the retreat "light". Just the way we rest after meditation to integrate the stillness with our everyday life, we need to "rest" or "go light" the next few days after the retreat to integrate the stillness cultivated during the retreat with our every day life.
2) During the retreat, don't add any new practices. We stick to our normal routine. If things come up naturally, like automatic sambhavi or mulabandha or kumbhaka, if it is not a part of our everyday routine, then we should not indulge these automatic practices, whenever we become aware we are doing these, we need to relax and ease out of that position.
3) After the retreat, there is huge expansion and there is an automatic feeling of being able to do more than what we could do before. However, we don't add anything new till we have completely grounded and are stable after the retreat (a month or two at least).
4) The effects of a retreat can be felt for 3-4 months up to 6 months after the retreat. So keep that phase for growth, for expansion. Even after we feel stable and nothing is happening, be aware, there is stuff going on within, wait for a few months before adding any new practices and add new practices cautiously
5)After the retreat, for a few weeks, do extra grounding activities, eat heavier, take walks, exercise. |
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Deal with post-retreat purification
