Kirtanman wrote: "Mind is a sense that has been mistaken for a self."
That's one of the most helpful statements I've come across. Thank you so much
Hi Amoux,
I'm truly glad to hear it was helpful!
And yes, "getting"/experiencing/remembering this (mind is a sense that has been mistaken for a self) has been amazingly helpful .... a vast amount of cloud-cover is just *gone*, when we relax into the awareness of this.
quote: woke up with a parallell paradox today, that it's also a double sense around the fact that THAT is always unknown, which makes us very humble and we bow in awe of THAT which is presenting this Flow of Life for us every Now in mysterious ways - The Great Mystery. Our hearts are filled with gratefulness and somehow - there's a sense of The Mystery being LARGER than... ________ (me? An ego-identification?) . I think about he "Father"-sensation that Katrine writes about sometimes for example. On the other hand - there's a realization I AM THAT and there's a "knowing" there's nothing else but THAT here (as THIS) - no separation! But the humble attitude remains (at least here), as if it was towards something else, something bigger...? Or do you sense that humble sensation vanishes after a while, when growing into the knowing "I AM THAT"?
Hmm.....I don't know emc. I never thought about humbleness.....maybe you by this mean devotion?
All I can say is that devotion stays and stays.....but the devotion changes....it becomes more and more quiet......
Much has been processed since the death of my father this summer....so many rooms emptied of stuff and memories.....my parents home and with it....... all of childhood. Emptying he flat here, the two places where I work......everything has sifted through the hands and somehow gone back to where it came from.....
The father-like essence........when Jesus Christ was tasted in heart...he brought that essence with him....or rather....as it is seen today....the essence brought Jesus Christ. Even though Jesus is an Ishta....what expresses through him is not.....Christ is one with the essence.......Christ is the I am.....the spark of I am within. It is silence........as consciousness when manifested. When it is not manifested......I don't know what it is......but it is.
When accepting that all loved is gone....when not at war with this fact.....in that quieting down....there was a discovery here....of a subtle...restless movement.....a very subtle striving (so subtle it was easy to miss)....towards "drowning in Unity"....a very subtle striving towards letting go....As if letting go was something to be done......
But letting go......not identifying....staying still.....non-attached.....non-sticked..... I never knew how to do it......am so totally not able to do it..... So in accepting this......not as in a resigned feeling.....more like a small shock that leaves one natural......just very ordinary walking through the days doing what one must in life....just like everybody else......in this acceptance there emerged a growing acceptance of the fact that there will always be two here. And in allowing this....instead of that subtle striving to "one myself"......more and more energy is freed to stay with the quiet love instead.
There is no want to "become One" any longer. Only a continuous tender feeling of gratefulness...that I am allowed to love. Allowed to love........
Even though the father-like essence is what I love more than anything...wanted to be with more than anything....in accepting that I cannot.....that I will never be with it......the subtle striving dissolved.
And......I don't understand this......but in the wake of that dissolving......the quiet love within....it is very gently pulling me towards itself. As if it had arms......I don't understand how this can happen.....because I am no different now......I come with all the same faults....all the same stubbornness....
Anyway......it is changing how I feel. I cannot say anything about it anymore. It is neither he nor she....neither father nor mother....it is neither nothing nor everything......neither small nor vast......neither empty nor full.....
mind tool
Posted - Oct 28 2009 : 11:03:59 PM
