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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1532 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 24 2020 : 05:12:58 AM
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Dear Steve,
I am most touched that you shared all this with me in mind (although I am sure all who reads this will benefit). I have read it but will read it again attentively. Just reading your words about Love for/of the Source has my heart fire roaring. I am most certainly very much in Love with the Source. But like we know, there are layers to opening the heart and this has been at the back of my mind for some weeks now. I was thinking of starting the AYP heart-breathing practice to see what that brings. Right now I am in self-pacing mode and dare not add any practices.
I find myself dealing a lot with the lower centres these days. Not quite by choice but that is where kundalini takes me and I surrender to that. What is your experience of that?
As for self-enquiry, some months back my experiential understanding of the Self was I am That with That best described as ultimate Reality.
Today, this has changed again. I am nowhere to be found - not in the same sense as in the beginning of the process where "I" was emptiness, nothingness. It's a different feeling. I am not even That.
Sey  |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2020 : 03:28:17 AM
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Hello Sey
Maybe there is no fixed answer to hold on to, and maybe there is no need to know,not knowing can be enough.
Or if that does not appeal to you, try sticking to I am .... removing That
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Steve
277 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2020 : 5:10:47 PM
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Hi Sey,
I sent you an email through your AYP email address.
L&L,
Steve   |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1532 Posts |
Posted - Nov 26 2020 : 04:48:11 AM
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I haven't received anything.
Sey |
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Blanche
USA
859 Posts |
Posted - Nov 27 2020 : 09:00:20 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by SeySorciere
As for self-enquiry, some months back my experiential understanding of the Self was I am That with That best described as ultimate Reality.
Today, this has changed again. I am nowhere to be found - not in the same sense as in the beginning of the process where "I" was emptiness, nothingness. It's a different feeling. I am not even That.
Sey
Well said, Sey. Things keep shifting at their own pace. We do not make a choice to go toward something or reject something else because what happens it is not at the level of the mind. I do not know what to say about the middle years. It feels like every day it starts anew. |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1532 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2021 : 06:38:15 AM
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Dear all,
It's been over seven months since my last report. I still have to tread carefully practice-wise but more or less stable now at 3-5 mins SBP + 15 mins DM + 5 mins Samyama. A new phenomena is occurring every now and again - well, perhaps not quite new as I have reported it before but it is now happening in a different context.
I would be engaged in a conversation when suddenly there is an outpour of liquid light from within (outflow of Stillness) and although aware that I am still speaking, I cannot hear my words nor recall what I said - everything turns to Light in an exuberant flow. I would "come to myself" and my audience's attention would be riveted on me, smilingly. And I am left wondering - what did I say, what did I say?
I am talking of my daily life here - conversations at work. Pretty cool, uh?
Otherwise, life is stagnant despite constant change, frustrating and a little sad. 
Sey
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Dogboy
USA
2198 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2021 : 11:48:28 PM
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quote:
I would be engaged in a conversation when suddenly there is an outpour of liquid light from within (outflow of Stillness) and although aware that I am still speaking, I cannot hear my words nor recall what I said - everything turns to Light in an exuberant flow. I would "come to myself" and my audience's attention would be riveted on me, smilingly. And I am left wondering - what did I say, what did I say?
I am talking of my daily life here - conversations at work. Pretty cool, uh?
Otherwise, life is stagnant despite constant change, frustrating and a little sad.
I have come to believe that when “the Divine presence” somehow bubbles forth in our everyday, whether it be light, bliss, silence, or a combination there of, it is an invitation to integrate our inner world with the outer, to radiate it forth with eyes wide open. Our practice is preparing us for a possible future where there is no such division of worlds neti neti. |
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Blanche
USA
859 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2021 : 1:15:27 PM
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Hi Sey,
You are describing something familiar here. It seems that these experiences point to something deeper available for recognition or "remembering." How is the light? What is this light? What is the feeling that comes with it? What do you see? Where is the light now? Is it anything outside it? You may want to explore these questions, and share or not share your insight.
Blanche
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1532 Posts |
Posted - Jul 19 2021 : 11:48:45 AM
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Dear Blanche,
I take it as light of Awareness that sometimes shines so bright as to turn sound and form into light energy. I called it liquid light because there is movement there (stillness /emptiness dancing) in contrast to other times where the same light causes the mind to stop, complete stillness, which is the state of no judgement, no preference. So we have un-coloured mind in motion (feeling is exuberance) or in stillness (feeling is more blissful). And somehow "I" am able to perceive this.
I am not too sure where your questions are supposed to lead but those are my conclusions
Sey
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1532 Posts |
Posted - Jul 19 2021 : 12:06:54 PM
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There is something else that crossed my mind - is that how transmission (shaktipat) happens? Or is that entirely dependent on the receiver?
Sey |
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Blanche
USA
859 Posts |
Posted - Jul 19 2021 : 2:07:21 PM
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Dear Sey,
The experience here is somewhat the same and somewhat different. For example, the conversation continues as usual even though the sight goes to "another channel" than the material reality. The light is more transparent than bright, everything is empty space made of light, etc. It comes with a deep reverence of the Pure Divinity that is all. Probably I make a face because when the regular sight comes back the other person looks at me with starry eyes, smiling. The experience leaves a trace, like when you look behind a curtain and afterwards, even when the curtain is pulled back, you still see inside what is behind the curtain.
As about the shaktipat, it seems that the giver becomes a clear channel with the personal identity out of the way, while the receiver is ready to "catch" the gift. We all seem to get what we need.
Blanche |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1532 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2021 : 11:45:56 AM
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Dear Blanche,
Yes, the light is transparent, brightly transparent  - sparklingly clear is perhaps a better word
Sey |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1532 Posts |
Posted - Aug 25 2022 : 09:10:56 AM
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Dear all,
I am getting somewhat concerned over Yamas (restraints). I am going through a phase (?) where all the restraints in diet, habits etc.. that I had dropped naturally over the years are now back in full force. I binge watch TV. I eat everything and comfort eat. I am now able to drink alcohol. Sexual urges are back.
This is, of course, generating traces of discomfort /guilt and passing thoughts that I am somehow "losing something" - well, the thought-free clear mind. Although that is not really the case as I move into the thought-free State often when I am not in activity. Now, I can attempt to take control and stay way from these "bad" habits but that seems too much "effort" - after all these habits went away on their own along the path (and are now back  ). I could call these thoughts illusionary and drop them, but these "bad" habits are genuinely not healthy, are they? I also wonder are these "bad" habits throwing dirt on the mirror I have spent so long cleaning? Or is something else entirely happening?
Now I have been listening to the Ten Ox Herding Pictures read by Samaneri over and over again. Picture 6 - talks of riding home on the Ox. It talks of "returning right to the beginning and starting again from scratch" and "forget about satori"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVu...HkT0&t=1677s
I wonder if this is perhaps the phase I am going through.
So, do I attempt to enforce restraints or leave it - this too shall pass?
Any insights / similar experience would be appreciated.
Sey
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interpaul
USA
525 Posts |
Posted - Aug 26 2022 : 04:10:51 AM
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| Sey, I can't comment on whether this is an advanced phase as I have not been practicing as many years as you have. My simplistic way of thinking about this is these behaviors are a self soothing behavior. I think we all regress to behaviors such as overeating, watching too much tv, drinking etc in an attempt to improve mood when we are stressed. I wonder if it is as simple as that? Instead of enforcing restraint I would bring attention to what these cravings are trying to tell you. I'm curious to hear others thoughts as well. |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1532 Posts |
Posted - Aug 26 2022 : 07:59:32 AM
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Dear Interpaul,
Yes, totally. I do recognize them as self soothing behaviours. I do have a high-stressed job. I vacillate between boredom and anxiety. However, I had dropped such behaviours naturally as part of the path. So why are they now back and how much damage are they doing? Or is there no damage if I 'drop the thought'? And make no differentiation between "good" habits and "bad" habits?
Sey
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Buffle37
Switzerland
79 Posts |
Posted - Aug 26 2022 : 3:38:15 PM
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The vasanas are stubborn. We believe to have finished with them, but they wait for us at the curve of the road. They don't let us go so easily. They have been digging their way into us for countless lifetimes.
I try to ignore them but if I let go, who cares? I don't feel guilty about it, I tell myself, "I've fallen 100 times, I'll get up 101."
The only important thing is to keep practicing again and again no matter what.
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kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
791 Posts |
Posted - Aug 26 2022 : 4:52:08 PM
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| Ive come to accept all things that come and go are part parcel of my own existence ,i love or so think i do i hate or i think i do, good bad ,guilt everything thing basically under the sun ,a discipline of practice produces results are they sustainable probably not, will the results become hard wired into my frame of reference maybe sometimes,my view has changed many times during my life influences beyond my control and influences within my control ,practice gives without doubt something tangible within the mind field a form of expansion a growth in patterning, a change a different approach to situations and reactions ,sometimes we get used to the practice itself whatever that may be and a mundane delayed malaise can take its place the stimulation does not feed the system and we revert to our default mechanism ,we become judgemental a human trait im afraid like division and prejudice its part of how we make sense of our world, we may believe we fall because we are not experiencing that just justness ,the fine line between flow and being un contented ,our needs our fulfiiled yet our high abilities are being clouded operating at full awareness is hard and taxing striving to be the ideal we create is alluring and most magnificent, but our kingdom is has its own variables we would like a garden without walls but without walls its no longer ours, we set parameters rules of engagement of the game expecting something and it comes then disappears its almost an apocalype and i suppose it is a death of sorts and we mourn another inbuilt human condition ,just like when the first human buried there dead something changed we knew everything has to come pass . |
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Dogboy
USA
2198 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2022 : 12:23:49 AM
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quote:
So why are they now back and how much damage are they doing? Or is there no damage if I 'drop the thought'? And make no differentiation between "good" habits and "bad" habits?
The habits you’ve determined Bad do have a negative effect, you have decided and labeled them so. If you indulge, and are uneasy, yet persist in it, that is something you should address, whether physically or spiritually (self inquiry). And of course it is a phase, and most likely you will alter course, because it has your attention.
There is also the possibility you decide Bad is Not-so-bad, and put it in another frame, and decide you are happier there. |
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kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
791 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2022 : 2:46:49 PM
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The kiss of judas
why do i deny thee my inner temptations
the experience of a fallen being
an enticement to betrayal or pleasure
a lust a thought of hate and malevolent deed
can i stop the flowing river in full flood
or emerse myself in its dense reverie
it may sear the heart and leave a scar
a natural sutra that binds my humanity to yours
in defence are we made to suffer to deny
the judas that lies within a constant thorn
that never kills but creates the dullest pain
an emptyness needing to be filled
atomic in size and expanding outwards
forever hungry desiring only to be used
made manifest in whatever form we decide
a gift of freedom contained by laws
of which we feel but never see or hear
betraying ourselves is always possible
betraying life is impossible indeed
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interpaul
USA
525 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2022 : 5:47:58 PM
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| Kumar, What a beautiful poem to normalize our human struggles. |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1532 Posts |
Posted - Aug 29 2022 : 06:38:17 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by kumar ul islam
The kiss of judas
why do i deny thee my inner temptations
the experience of a fallen being
an enticement to betrayal or pleasure
a lust a thought of hate and malevolent deed
can i stop the flowing river in full flood
or emerse myself in its dense reverie
it may sear the heart and leave a scar
a natural sutra that binds my humanity to yours
in defence are we made to suffer to deny
the judas that lies within a constant thorn
that never kills but creates the dullest pain
an emptyness needing to be filled
atomic in size and expanding outwards
forever hungry desiring only to be used
made manifest in whatever form we decide
a gift of freedom contained by laws
of which we feel but never see or hear
betraying ourselves is always possible
betraying life is impossible indeed
Nice one! I love it! Thank you for your thoughts above as well. Do I embrace my Judas or not?
@Buffle /Dogboy - Thank you for your thoughts as well. I find your contributions comforting.
Sey |
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Jac
Switzerland
29 Posts |
Posted - Aug 29 2022 : 11:58:32 AM
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Hi Sey and everyone,
Here's a little quote from Samuel Beckett that feels good :
" Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better".
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Blanche
USA
859 Posts |
Posted - Aug 29 2022 : 1:09:28 PM
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Hi Sey,
I appreciate your strength to show vulnerability. This issue is not foreign here. The spiritual evolution seems to be a spiral, where chapters repeat, never quite the same. Sometimes I think that this planet is a place where everybody is enlightened, and they help me by providing exactly the lessons I need. It is not always an easy ride, but always a marvelous one. |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1532 Posts |
Posted - Sep 01 2022 : 06:55:27 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Jac
Hi Sey and everyone,
Here's a little quote from Samuel Beckett that feels good :
" Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better".
Love it! I will remember that one. Thank you, Jac.
Dear Blanche - Thank you for the reminder that the path is always a marvelous one despite downward spirals. Your kindness shines through all your posts.
Sey
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1532 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2023 : 06:27:41 AM
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Dear all,
It's been a while since I have had any new experiences worth sharing. Two meditation sittings ago, during Cosmic Samyama, the moon (perceived as a half moon on a very dark night) suddenly started drifting south (from its usual horizontal position). Last night, I could see that it has settled into my sex, like a reflection in a clear pool of water. I can see the water rippling. It bars the gateway of the root chakra. The sun has also moved and is now sitting in the crown.
Last night, I awoke around midnight filled with rapturous joy, outpouring divine love and laughing in every cell; the laughter rebounding across the cosmos. Kept me away all night. Still feeling joyous this morning.
I am now curious as to what this sudden movement of cosmic bodies is foretelling.
Love and joy!
Sey
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Topic |
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The Middle Years
