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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 25 2015 : 7:48:38 PM
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| Too much emotional baggage flying at me, it feels overwhelming at times. It is great that it's going away, but at times it's flying at me too fast. I feel like I am drowning in it! |
Edited by - LordBuzzKill on Jul 25 2015 8:24:06 PM |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2015 : 9:20:12 PM
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Okay, if it was too much energy I would have steered you in the direction of moving it (solar centering, ketchari 1, visualization, etc). Excess "purification" definately requires grounding and reduction, possibly elimination of practices for the near future. This is your call for reflection of what has bubbled up so it can be integrated as you ripen. Carry yourself in gentle mindfulness, bask in your calm moments and smile through your tougher ones. A simple smile has the power to file off rough edges. Know in dialing back you gently move forward. Keep us posted on your progression  |
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2015 : 9:28:06 PM
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Oh don't get me wrong. It's an enjoyable journey right now. It's just now I am aware that I am nearing danger and I am staying away before it reaches me.
Right now, I am a very happy person! 
Thanks for the advice Dogboy.
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Edited by - LordBuzzKill on Jul 25 2015 9:49:54 PM |
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2015 : 05:26:28 AM
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Right now I am going through another set of changes. Where I have a very strong disgust with people who lack Courtesy and Integrity. The feelings are in the Extreme now after the change. I find it really revolting and Impossible to be around people who lack Integrity.
At least the process is more calm now. Staying off the Mantra for now.
This new part in the process has made my own personal Integrity stand out much more. I find it really sad how people can and will sell their own soul for a little bit of short term gain. That's not the worst part, it's when their corrupt evil actions end up selling their own family and friends, is where it gets really Disgusting. I had a very large family once, over 30 people (extended relatives etc). But most of them have zero integrity.
I had to walk away from nearly all my friends just a few years back. Because they lacked Integrity. They think it's ok to use people for their own personal gain. Their whole families are like that. I just couldn't stand it any more. While I was growing as a person they kept on sliding down hill. Now I will not tolerate such behavior and I just simply walk away from all people who lack Integrity.
I am still amazed at just how much change has occurred in me in such a short time. It makes me happy knowing that, I am now walking the path I always meant to walk. |
Edited by - LordBuzzKill on Jul 29 2015 06:10:57 AM |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2015 : 07:02:57 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by LordBuzzKill
This new part in the process has made my own personal Integrity stand out much more. I find it really sad how people can and will sell their own soul for a little bit of short term gain. That's not the worst part, it's when their corrupt evil actions end up selling their own family and friends, is where it gets really Disgusting. I had a very large family once, over 30 people (extended relatives etc). But most of them have zero integrity.
For some of them maybe you can be the light 
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2015 : 07:51:11 AM
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| Only by example. |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2015 : 09:01:59 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by LordBuzzKill
Only by example.
That might just be the only way. It will also help if you can love and forgive these people. We are all human and fallible.
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2015 : 2:39:54 PM
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Oh believe me I love helping people.
I personally draw the line at Toxic people. They are dangerous.
I learned the hard way, that the only really way to help anyone is by example when they are ready.
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Aug 07 2015 : 05:19:28 AM
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A week later, the sensitivity has not changed at all. Only 2 days (Once per day) of 2.5 min of Belly breathing and ONLY 30 seconds of AYAM D.M. and I get the flood of feelings coming back. Didn't even make a dent in the emotional baggage. The moment I spotted the Ice Berg of Emotional Baggage approaching, I turned right around.
Pros: Only a little of AYAM, can get me some amazing results in a very short time. I will try maybe once per week or month and see how that goes.
Cons: Is it really a bad thing to make so much progress in such a short time? After all, it is what I asked for.
I find this very interesting. Before when I practiced normally, when I first started AYP (2013), for weeks and nothing. And now, wow so responsive to AYAM. I wonder why the change.
In the mean time, while I adjust to this new change. Going to explore dream yoga, so I don't lose my mind from all that Devotion burning in me. Keeping this journey enjoyable.
Is it possible, all of this is happening, because I asked to progress faster, some time ago?
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Edited by - LordBuzzKill on Aug 07 2015 05:42:29 AM |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Aug 07 2015 : 06:42:07 AM
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Blanche
USA
873 Posts |
Posted - Aug 07 2015 : 9:03:16 PM
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Hi LBK,
I would say that the mantra has worked all along, no matter how much you have noticed the effects. Now you get rewarded for staying with the practice, and making some good choices. Enjoy it! I am enjoying your posts. |
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Aug 08 2015 : 04:23:05 AM
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| Thank you, Blanche. I enjoy sharing my journey with you. It sure is something special. |
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Aug 10 2015 : 9:20:08 PM
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I noticed many years ago, that when there is a strong spiritual conflict. I get these damn headaches, during which, my mind is altered to a new way of thinking, some kind of new improvement. This started happening to me long before AYP. Just mentioning this because I just got another one. It's like someone is re-wiring my brain on the fly. Bloody hurts. I would say, like a regular pain in the ass headache type of pain, which is caused by my thoughts on making a spiritual decision on some spiritual choice. Once they pass and the choice has been made where I finally accept it. It all just stops, the pain is gone, and I have a new out look on the issue.
Could this be just like Kundalini burning away the corruption in my head? Cause it sure feels like it, from what I have experienced before. Slightly different, maybe because it's a whole different process but sure feels close enough to make me think. This is some kind of automatic response where the life style itself lends it self to the practice of improvement and Kundalini just helps it along roughly.
They are rare, I don't get many. They can last a whole day, or a few hours. |
Edited by - LordBuzzKill on Aug 10 2015 9:46:18 PM |
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2015 : 03:25:50 AM
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Just realized something. This Emotional Hurricane has been going on for more then 3 MONTHS!!!! Is this normal? Mind you, most of the time there was no meditation at all.
It seems like my Deep Meditation effects me in an exponential way. Do it once and my car turns into a plane flying in the clouds..... Anyone else had or has this experience? |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2015 : 06:30:38 AM
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| To balance you need a steady practice, you can release in inner silence..... |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2015 : 07:14:15 AM
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Hi LBK
Have you read the Suggestions for Over-Sensitive Meditators? http://www.aypsite.org/367.html
And there is more on AYP Plus on this topic in case you've considered joining.
Charliedog is right, you need a steady practice, so you need to find a daily routine that does not overload you and is sustainable over the long term.
Good luck! |
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So-Hi
USA
481 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2015 : 08:30:03 AM
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Ah such fun times no? Do not worry too much this is just a phase; it is up to you how you are approaching going through it.
The thing to understand here is you have built up momentum.
Just like a vehicle takes less fuel to keep rolling than it does from a dead stop. So if there is overloading with little practice this is why, this is why self-pacing is important you may think you are just touching the peddle but on a 5 degree slope with 85 miles per hour already going downhill it will not take much to go over the side of the mountain when the curve in road comes up.
The way you are seeing others is going to change so be careful about your relationships not all bridges really need to be burned, err on the side of caution because one day you are going to see things differently and a little restraint now will be realized as a damn good thing later.
Here is some ugly truth we often see others through the lenses of our own inner obstructions through a dirty window and this is why the reaction is so strong, in your case it is integrity issues.
It can be many other things as well with me it was anger issues and feelings of betrayal and outrage righteous indignation at a lack of Family unity, turns out I was very much the SOB that was never interested in the feelings of others or things of this world because I was too busy not letting go of the in-between realm of incarnations, denying the validity of this incarnation not wanting to become attached to it and refusing to forget what was before this present now, clinging to that which was, when in reality it will be again.
We all go through this it is part of ongoing purification and this is why I advise caution in your dealings with others do not be DEAD RIGHT. Later you will know this for certain.
Tolerance, Compassion, Patience the Buddhist’s are fond of this saying, I think it is not that they are telling everyone this saying look here pay attention to these things. NO! I think they are reminding themselves constantly as they are going through phases of purification and inner unwindings.
This works for me.
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2015 : 2:39:42 PM
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Great explanation So-Hi, makes a lot of sense to me. Since I was only doing AYAM for about 15 Seconds each time and only did it weeks ago for a few days only. Car must be flying down hill at crazy speeds.
I was thinking about that too, I must of hit a mountain of old Baggage that is being leveled into a nice flat flied of grass. Might take me a while. Feels like one of them Major mile stones I have to cross.
Yes integrity is mixed in with betrayal.... I walked away from a lot of people years ago, and actually found peace. I had to let go, I know I am a person of extremes and I have and still am working on taking the time to observe my environment correctly and not to over react. Which in the years since has helped me a lot.
Thank you all for your advice and time.
I will say that the events of April 2015 have changed my life forever (Witcher 3 with Ciri). I hold dear stronger values of integrity, honor, respect, understanding, and patience. When I was ready, a story woke me up and showed me the light I was missing in my life.
Yes even the cards told me Reconciliation will give you joy. I should soon meet these people from my past, and I will see if I can make things right. At the very least, end it on a positive note.
Peace and joy on your journey's fellow travelers.
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2015 : 2:44:18 PM
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@ BlueRaincoat.
I have read about Over-Sensitive Meditators. That is why I had to back off and stop all together because I was picking up way too much speed. I am in control but if the speed keeps going up I will fly off the road. I have no idea where my limit is but why take that risk and lose it all again....
Thanks
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2015 : 4:58:19 PM
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| You're not saying if you've explored lighter forms of meditation. Mantra meditation is very strong for sensitives and counting the seconds is not the best option. |
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2015 : 5:05:17 PM
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What are these Lighter forms of meditation do you speak of? 
I used to do AYAM for much longer but it all just kept on adding up like crazy and I had to stop.
Hmm so how should I do it? I just got used to keeping track in my head of my mediation, have been doing that for maybe more then 10 years now. Old habit, could it be interfering with the AYAM meditation? I forgot which meditation practice does that, by counting. I would just simply count my breaths in's or out's to keeping pace and to know when to stop. |
Edited by - LordBuzzKill on Aug 12 2015 5:07:24 PM |
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ak33
Canada
229 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2015 : 5:50:28 PM
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| Lighter forms of meditation could be breath meditation (AYP style), other forms of breath meditation, loving kindness meditation. |
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2015 : 01:55:16 AM
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| Ah so like the Belly Breathing I have been doing for over 15 years. I will focus on that then. |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2015 : 04:34:30 AM
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Important not to confuse breathing exercises with meditation focused on the breath. Yogani talks about the latter in Lesson 367 - http://www.aypsite.org/367.html
In AYP Plus passive awareness meditation is introduced.
So there are two types of meditation in AYP that are lighter than I AM meditation. |
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2015 : 05:09:47 AM
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Thank you BlueRaincoat.
Passive awareness meditation sounds interesting.
What I do with Belly Breathing is focus on the breath itself with sound and feeling of the breath. In about 15-30 minutes I get to a point where I feel Prana all over my body and I am very relaxed. I just love hearing and feeling my own heart beat through my whole body, feels so nice.
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Massive change in the mind and spirit
