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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 01 2015 : 4:36:29 PM
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Massive change in the mind and spirit.
More than a week ago, it all started. A massive change inside me occurred, on a scale I have never experienced before.
The change happened while I was playing Witcher 3. It is a game with a rich story, which has a lot of moral dilemmas. As I heard before, when you are ready, you will see it. I saw the truth!
The change strengthened my resolve to stick with AYP and not to chase powers for powers sake. I have this strong burning desire now to be true to myself and keep at my purification with AYP.
The changed happened when I saw the ways one of the major characters of the story could be treated. Good ending, bitter sweet ending or a horrible ending. I ended up with the Good ending where Ciri was a Witcheress. Free to follow her heart.
The other two endings and the approaches to them. Made me realize just how poorly I had treated people in my life. For me loyalty and self sacrifice for the ones you love stand out like a burning star in the night sky.
I would feel sick whenever I thought of treating anyone or the character Ciri poorly. The feelings are so strong that I can feel my stomach twisting. I was very disgusted with the other two endings. The only ending I found acceptable is where you treat people with courtesy and set Ciri free.
This wasn't just about the game. This was a whole spiritual shift inside of me towards people and life! This shift is so strong that it's on my mind day and night for well over a week now. And it is only getting stronger. I want to work hard and become a better person.
Now I am sticking to AYP with much greater loyalty and trust. For it has opened my eyes after many months of meditation. And all the wonderful people here who were kind to me and offered kind advice.
The emotional shift is strong. It is one hell of a roller-coaster ride which is still going. The burning desire is unbelievable. I never had experience anything on this scale before. I cried a lot during this process, happy tears and sad tears. So much negativity was set free.
The shift happened after I added spinal breathing to my meditation. Only after a few weeks it hit me like a Super Nova! All my remaining evil was just Vaporized!
Thank you all who have helped me in my darkest moments with your kind advice. Which has helped me more then you can imagine.
I send you all my love and prayers for your help!  
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Edited by - LordBuzzKill on Jul 01 2015 5:09:12 PM |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jul 01 2015 : 5:13:14 PM
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| Empathy. |
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Jul 01 2015 : 5:38:56 PM
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Thank you.
Is this normal? Has this happened to anyone else? Will this happen again to me? What else can I expect to happen on the road to purification? |
Edited by - LordBuzzKill on Jul 01 2015 5:58:34 PM |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jul 01 2015 : 6:07:07 PM
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I think it's definitely normal. On the forum, we were recently talking about sensitivity to violence in movies, and in your case, the video game is very relevant.
Since all people are seen more as a reflection of Self, there is a natural desire to wish them happiness, just as we wish for our personal body to be happy. What good is happiness if it can't be shared?
I think we're going to see significant changes on a global scale, and our evolution may even be accelerating exponentially as things become more and more transparent. Therefore, self-pacing is key, as is tapping into Yogani's formula of: Vision + Desire + Action = Achievement...(with persistence and consistency being underlying qualities on the left side).
Best wishes on your journey.  |
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Jul 01 2015 : 6:35:41 PM
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Thank you.
Yes indeed, happiness is best shared.
I really hope that a great positive change is coming to the world.
Yes I am moving carefully forward with my practice. I want the best possible experience this time around. This is how my practice goes so far. 2 minutes belly breathing. 2 minutes spinal breathing. 2 minute belly breathing. 5 minutes deep meditation. 2 minutes belly breathing. |
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Blanche
USA
867 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2015 : 06:33:06 AM
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Hi LBK,
Thanks for sharing. Yes, when you start to experience the unity, you realize that nothing is foreign to you, you are one with everything - so how could you mistreat anything? You feel the pain and the joy of everything. This is a siddhi, and you are getting access to it because you do not care for it per se.  More things will happen with practice.
The guru is in you.
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2015 : 08:30:27 AM
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| Thank you for sharing LBK |
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2015 : 08:48:20 AM
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I see. That is good to know. I will keep at it and accept the gifts without chasing them. They seem to come of their own free will. 
It's one of the most powerful emotional events ever in my life. It is extreme and still going. I just fell in love with Ciri from Witcher 3. I just love her character's amazing qualities. Undying loyalty to her family and friends, really touched my heart. Which you don't see much in our today's materialistic and shallow society. Far too many people are uncaring selfish and shallow.
My good friend is an amateur writer and she explained to me. That when you can understand people better this would happen. I just never imagined this would happen on such a scale. The emotional roller-coaster is still going strong. I had similar experiences after reading some great stories or playing video games before. Where I really cared for the people in the story. I could feel their pain and suffering. It's just mind blowing just how powerful this whole event is. I have such a strong burning desire to grow into a better person it's just shocking. It is like someone flipped a switch in me and I am a completely different person on the inside. It is affecting my whole life. For these desires are manifesting themselves in real life towards the people around me. They started manifesting themselves months before. But now I have no idea just how much they will manifest themselves. Should be very interesting to see what happens.
This change makes me happy. For it means I am on the right path.
Thank you all! |
Edited by - LordBuzzKill on Jul 02 2015 09:23:30 AM |
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Dogboy
USA
2242 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2015 : 11:31:33 AM
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| Another marker along the way, LBK; enjoy its emergence and then surrender it up. There is nothing you need to do but stay true to the process |
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2015 : 12:04:45 PM
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Yes I will. Right now these feelings and emotions are taking center stage. I have to let them work themselves through.
What makes my Blood Boil. Is that in the bitter sweet ending as they call it. Several things need to happen. Geralt (her adopted father) has to sell Ciri out to an Evil Empire which is waging war and killing many people. Ciri is sold to her Step father the Evil Emperor and to an Evil Sorceress (adviser) that has murdered kings and has destroyed nations for personal gain. Like some cheap whore Ciri is sold off. That pisses me off beyond belief. How can people betray the ones they love for money and just sell them like a cow at the market!
Yes I know confusing, Ciri has 3 fathers. The real one dead, step father the (Evil) Emperor and Geralt the Adopted good father which Ciri looks up to and always runs to for help and advice.
In the bad ending, all the player needs do is treat Ciri like dirt. Then she dies in the end because she never got the love from her adopted father Geralt which she risked her life multiple times to save a few years before. She didn't believe in herself because of it.
I have personally seen all of this in real life and experienced the betrayal as well. Where families have betrayed their loved ones and treated them like dirt. I found that extremely disgusting and there was nothing I could do about it. Then I saw these betrayed people break and become Evil themselves. I tried helping them the best I could but all I could do was watch them spiral downwards into hell. In the end they ended up betraying everything they once stood for and all their friends. That's including me getting stabbed in the back by them. I know just how much the betrayal hurts especially from a family member or a best friend that you have known for most of your life. Hurt like you wouldn't believe.
All I could do is treat Ciri with Respect and make sure she got the best ending. Where she was happy and was free to live her life without people trying to use her for their own personal gains!
I have chosen a different path. I wanted a better life and to be a better person. That is why I am here. |
Edited by - LordBuzzKill on Jul 02 2015 12:15:02 PM |
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2015 : 2:33:56 PM
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What I forgot to add. Is that this game made me see just how much impact our words have on the people around us. Looking back on my life I can still see my words that had a profound effect on the people I know to this day from decades ago! I remember as well how the words of other people have left their marks on me to this day.
I have been learning about psychology, habits, behavior, and influence. With this realization it only solidifies my belief that, choosing the words you speak carefully is the only way to go. For I have hurt far too many people in the past with my thoughtless comments.
For me this whole experience is really new thanks to AYP. I am curious to see how it all turns out and I would love to share my experience with the wonderful people here! |
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kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
791 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2015 : 3:58:07 PM
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| Speech . Is it kind .is it necessary .is it true .. |
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2015 : 10:11:32 PM
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Indeed words are precious.
Are these my impurities working themselves through the system and leaving me? Which would mean that these are my fears, weaknesses and insecurities being dislodged from my system by Deep Meditation.
I feel their grasp is weakening. Which now allows me to think more logically. To see that horrible things do happen to people. And that I do not need to fear this and just accept it. I have empathy for them and that I will act in a courteous manner to people. Everyone is fighting their own personal battle in this life.
Oh my, just how my views have shifted. This is very interesting indeed. This is another major shift. This leaves me all excited to see what happens next.
What helped me most was the words of Yogani and someone else on the forum who posted on how to deal with panic attacks. I stayed with the feelings and let them run their course. Which has led me here. I did not judge them. I just accepted them.
Thank you all for your advice on the forums! |
Edited by - LordBuzzKill on Jul 02 2015 10:50:07 PM |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Jul 03 2015 : 02:41:45 AM
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Hi LBK,
Wise words, the power of words. If you feel that it helps you to write, read lesson 395 of Yogani.
I can tell you that writing can give you so much insight in yourself.
The power of the pen, your own pen and words can be an expression of the Guru in you.
My journal is one of my deeply respected tools on this journey, just expressing whatever comes up, or sticks inside....
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Edited by - Charliedog on Jul 03 2015 03:19:30 AM |
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Jul 03 2015 : 09:47:19 AM
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Yes, I do keep a journal. I find it very useful as well.
I just wanted to share this, so that someone just starting down the path has an idea of whats happening to them.
For me this was the first time these Feelings were so Strong! I had these types of changes before but it was gentle. This was a tidal-wave, felt like I was drowning in so many feelings of such great strength. It was overwhelming. By staying with them and letting them work themselves through my system helped a lot. Now I feel so free with a deeper respect for my words and actions!
I have a whole new respect for life as a whole and everything in it.
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Edited by - LordBuzzKill on Jul 03 2015 10:47:39 AM |
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Before
Hong Kong
11 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2015 : 06:01:16 AM
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| Glad to hear your experience! Let's keep up! |
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Jul 22 2015 : 7:42:23 PM
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Update: 2015 July 22
The whole tidal wave lasted about 2 weeks.
Since then I have been sticking to my daily journal writing. I backed off on spinal breathing. Now I can control and manage at the speed these emotions come at me and how I process them. It is an amazing feeling. Sure a lot of positive and negative emotions but I can control the speed they come at me on the fly. It is AMAZING.
I have even found one of the key events in my life that has hurt me and left me weak when I was 13-15 years old. Which has altered my life forever. Now I can work on the healing of the insecurities, fears and the damage from that event in a positive manner. I was aware of the event before just not the significance of it on my life. And to think a video game and a few of the main characters (Geralt, Yen, and Ciri) triggered this. God sure makes you see what you need to when you are ready.
I keep on growing and changing for the better one day at a time. I finally feel that I am on this AYP journey. It feels great.
Thank you Yogani for sharing your wisdom with us.
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cosmic
USA
821 Posts |
Posted - Jul 22 2015 : 10:07:38 PM
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| Great to hear, man. |
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yogani
USA
5201 Posts |
Posted - Jul 22 2015 : 10:58:41 PM
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2015 : 02:47:58 AM
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I am over sensitive to Deep Meditation.
1) I am making way too much progress in my Spiritual journey way too fast. I made another break through. I feel now a burning love for all life in the universe! It is twisting me up all inside and I am growing Love for all Life. The negativity is just burning away. Why too much too fast, because the feelings are really powerful, constant, and at times overwhelming even with my ability to control it now. I have to slam on the breaks A LOT! I am bloody slamming the breaks sometimes constantly none stop for 10 minutes to 30 minutes at a time, especially when I go for a walk to enjoy nature!
2) I just realized the rash on my face that I had for many months now is due to over sensitivity from what I read. As I backed off each time from my AYP, it got better and better. I used to spend 2.5 minutes on Belly breathing, 2.5 on Spinal Breathing, 2.5 Belly breathing, 5 Deep Meditation, 2.5 Belly breathing. I have long since then backed off to 2.5 minutes Belly breathing and 5 Deep Meditation and its still too much.
I will try just 1 minute Belly breathing and 1 minute Deep Meditation with 1 minute belly breathing at the end. Just way too much Spiritual change is happening too fast.
3) I don't want my car too fly into outer space again! So I am slowing it down for it is speeding out of control. Not to mention I am only doing the AYP once a day and not two times or I think my car would grow wings and take flight.... Not doing that ever again!
4) Why am I making so much progress so fast?
5) Why am I so sensitive? Was it because once before I was flying on a rocket ship before I could drive my AYP car? Using Yogani's Car analogy.
6) What could this mean, is it good or bad? Was I some Spiritually enlightened person in another life time?
Thank you for all your help!
At least this time, my journey is a lot more enjoyable and I am in control.
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Edited by - LordBuzzKill on Jul 25 2015 05:34:30 AM |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1731 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2015 : 04:57:16 AM
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Hi LBK
So what are your practices at the moment? And how many times a day? Is there any meditation or just breathing? |
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2015 : 05:33:32 AM
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As I said in #2) (might be too wordy) 1 minute belly breathing to relax and 1 minute Deep Mediation (I AM) followed by 1 minute belly breathing. Once per day, I feel if I do it twice per day I may crash and burn. It is what I just started today to completely backing off as much as possible. In fact, I don't think I have ever done it twice per day.
I am even thinking about stopping all together to cool off for a week. |
Edited by - LordBuzzKill on Jul 25 2015 06:36:22 AM |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1731 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2015 : 06:52:14 AM
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OK
We don't know why some people are more sensitive than others, but there are some factors that intensify it:- lifestyle - indoors activities with a narrow focus - watching a computer screen for a long time, computer games, reading/studying add to the sensitivity. You need grounding activities - walking in nature, physical stuff outdoors, socializing
- a strong bhakti increases sensitivity. Widening your interest helps
- yoga practices - what type and for how long. If the time you can spend practising every day is very limited, the advice is usually to stick to meditation, which is the one practice that increases inner silence. The others, including pranayama, can rev that energy engine and make you more sensitive. There have been cases where spinal breathing helped balance the energy, but if you are as sensitive as this, it's probably best to stick to meditation. Have you read Lesson 367? You can find out about breath focused meditation, which is less strong than mantra meditation and more suitable for over-sensitives.
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BillinL.A.
USA
375 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2015 : 1:30:33 PM
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| So cool LordBuzzKill...thanks for sharing. |
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LordBuzzKill
Canada
171 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2015 : 2:03:22 PM
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Wow that is cool, thank you BlueRaincoat. You just described my life style.... So I have to thank my pc for this... oh and Nature only makes it worse, because when I go for a walk I think a lot about these positive things about loving everything and wanting to save the world! It just melts my heart.... oh and My Bhakti mmm ya it is off the charts, it is burning like the sun.
I will take a look at Lesson 367.
Update: I have a daily workout I do, to stay in shape, which last about 15 - 30 minutes depending on the day. It helps with the problems that come from sitting on the computer all day. Which makes life a lot better because I stay in shape and it counter acts the negative health effects from sitting all day.
Update: If I let the feelings get to the edge of loosing control. It is just as bad as when I crashed and burned before. They swallow me whole, and I'd lose all control. That is how it feels, panic, fear, and everything else horrible. The feelings are beyond my abilities to deal with.
Great thing, that I still have control and that is why I am backing off while I am still on the road at a reasonable speed.
I am a safe driver!
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Edited by - LordBuzzKill on Jul 25 2015 5:29:29 PM |
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Dogboy
USA
2242 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2015 : 7:32:33 PM
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LordBK
Are you talking about experiencing too much energy, or is it loss of emotional baggage overwhelming you? |
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Massive change in the mind and spirit
