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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 01 2013 : 4:58:48 PM
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Hi friends 
I had a strange experience the other day that appears to indicate an entirely new level of sensitivity to "right action." But instead of experimenting more in an attempt to verify the cause of this experience (which could end up being incredibly painful and potentially even harmful), I thought maybe I would ask if anyone here had ever gone through this in hopes of learning through another's experience.
A few days ago I was at work, was going on very little sleep, and someone offered me a very large coffee. I had already had a coffee earlier in the day and didn't really want this one, but I still decided to take it. I took a few sips of it and each sip confirmed how much I did not want this coffee. I let it sit there for a while, occasionally taking a small sip, each time confirming how much this coffee made my body feel terrible, but regardless, I continued to slowly chip away at it. After about half an hour, and maybe 1/5th of the coffee I decided I would just pour it out. As I picked up the coffee cup I instinctually went to take a sip. That "still small voice" inside quietly said "Don't take this sip" but I took a very tiny sip anyway. Right as I swallowed the coffee I experienced the sensation of a metal plate about 10" across press right into the center of the heart chakra resulting in some very physical chest pains and an obvious blocking of the radiating heart energy. This caused all the energy in the body to go haywire and the chest pains lasted for a whole day and the blocking of the radiating heart energy lasted until an acupuncture treatment yesterday afternoon helped to open things up again. Thankfully things feel more grounded, relaxed and open now, but this whole episode was very new for me. I'm quite well versed in "the karmic bitchslap" but this one was dramatic, instant and impossible to miss the connection between cause and effect.
Have other's here noticed that at a certain point in their journey there was a shift towards instant karmic retribution when they make the dumb-ass decision to do something they know they shouldn't?
Thanks for any feedback and happy new year to all!
Love!
Carson  |
Edited by - AYPforum on Jan 05 2013 2:43:27 PM |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2013 : 6:03:08 PM
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I have had some experience disobeying that small, quiet voice and feeling the repercussions. Sometimes the voice isn't so nice, and it's yelling: Let it go! (Like for instance, with a female I'm trying to court lately).
It gets harder and harder to veer off the path of stillness because of this increased sensitivity to pain/wrong actions. When I veer off, the pain cannot be ignored, and since I've abandoned a lot of habits which used to mask that pain, there's no escape. I must confront the situation and resolve what my intuition is telling me to resolve. Pain is such a magnificent teacher, as is pleasure.
Saying "No" is just as necessary as saying "Yes". Discernment! |
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whippoorwill
USA
450 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2013 : 9:30:01 PM
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Same here. I used to enjoy wine. But I can't drink more than a couple of ounces now without feeling like my skull is going to split apart. I pushed it to two full glasses a few weeks ago to my great regret.
Red meat makes me feel terrible.
Regular coffee makes me jittery and it makes the tremor in my hands more pronounced. It speeds up my heart and impairs my thinking and coordination. (I notice when I try to play piano after drinking something caffeinated.)
Decaf coffee makes me feel gross and gunked up.
Regular black tea gives me a stomachache and makes me feel queasy and dizzy.
I'm waiting for the moment when chocolate doesn't taste so good. Hasn't happened yet. 
It's all happening fast enough that I find myself arguing with that still little voice with: "But I really like it! I want it!" And then I feel the pain. 
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machart
USA
342 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2013 : 11:26:13 PM
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| I enjoy everything...coffee...red meat ....wine...sex...life is f$&king awesome! |
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SparklingDiamond
Australia
227 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 03:16:53 AM
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Hi Carson
How v fortunate that your intuition is so powerful. I'm curious why you didn't heed it? :) |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 05:06:24 AM
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Dear Carson, happy new years. I've noticed this in myself also... Whatever drinking, doing drugs or smoking a cigaret every now and then... Everything I have to pay for painfully...
Love,
Ananda |
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 06:29:36 AM
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I've experienced this.
Examples of activities with very unpleasant repercussions:
-Drinking more than a single glass of alcohol
-Eating lots of sugary food
-Drinking coffee (can't do this at all, haven't been able to for ages. makes my system go bonkers. I get very high quality green tea from japan though, which agrees with me fine).
-Conceiving of separation. Any type of thought or speech which creates a self and an other, identifies with the self, and then has some sort of conflicting relationship with the other. Just a thought for instance which says "this annoying guy pushed in front of me in the queue", or a thought containing subtle pride or vanity (making self better than other), or any thought based on judgement or separation. There's an instant feeling in the body which says "this is wrong, proceed at your peril". So it's now pretty hard for me to get into a situation of conflict, superiority, etc because the tension in the body acts as a pre-warning and then the thought of separation dissolves.
With regard to karmic retribution I'm not sure that this is the right way to describe what's happening.
Karma isn't there (IMO) to exact retribution, punishing us for our mistakes. It's more like a loving but tough parent, who simply teaches us to fully understand and be sensitive to the consequences of our actions (and thoughts).
The suffering you experienced was kind, it's helped to improve the conditioning of your body/mind - next the time the impulse arises to ignore the silent voice, the remembrance of pain will help your body-mind stay on track with its highest possible course of action.
For a while I felt like it was karmic retribution, but it's more like a reprogramming of conditioning. With increased sensitivity from spiritual practices, the older conditioning becomes increasingly painful and unpleasant to engage in, so it helps to force us to let the old conditioning go. We learn to live with a better balance.
The sensitivity tends to settle down after a while also, at one point eating a single piece of chocolate would send my whole system nuts. Eventually as a consequence of this I developed a very good self control, never eating too much sugary foods. Now, I can indulge a little, but I'll never go too far, and always have a clear sense of where the line is. |
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kami
USA
921 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 07:13:50 AM
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Hi Carson!
Wow! While I have not had such intense reactions, I'd say my experiences lately are very similar.. In the past, I would have more caffeine on weekends just for the warmth and leisure. Over the last few months, I'm noticing that if I make a second cup of coffee or tea, my body seems to reject it even before the first sip.. And if I ignore the warning, I feel sick almost immediately and it lasts pretty much all day.. Same thing with certain foods like sweets and desserts - even if there is a mild craving for something sweet, I tend to gravitate toward dried fruit or something.
Most importantly though, that small voice becomes a very loud voice in instances of story-telling by the mind. As soon as a past memory or old thought pattern comes up, I feel that same sick feeling like with excess coffee.. It seems to be a warning system of some kind.. Continually veering the mind away from its mischief
To me, it seems more like a strengthening/development of intuition.. Or maybe we are just becoming more adept at heeding to the intuition that was always there..
Love  |
Edited by - kami on Jan 02 2013 07:26:24 AM |
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whippoorwill
USA
450 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 10:21:51 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by machart
I enjoy everything...coffee...red meat ....wine...sex...life is f$&king awesome!
LOL Cool!
Maybe I'm just gettin' old.
But I wonder if it's the inner sensuality sutra at work here...
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 10:48:59 AM
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Hi Everyone and thanks for all the feedback.
I don't think I made myself clear in my original post.
I am not saying that I can't drink coffee anymore (although I have dramatically cut down on my intake and today actually decided to switch to tea)... I can, and have (even since this episode) had coffee with no problem. What my post here is trying to elicit feedback on is the dramatic energetic blockage that resulted from choosing to ignore the "still small voice." I'm wondering if other's here have ignored their inner guru and been energetically bitchslapped within milliseconds for doing so.
Let me give another example in hopes of creating clarity here.
Walking at the dog park I have had the still small voice inside tell me to pick up someone else's dog's poop when I walked past it. I *did not* want to do this and have ignored the voice more than once when it told me to do so. In these instances I would have the voice nag at me to go back and pick up the poop for ten minutes or so and then it would stop. I have never experienced a instant, dramatic energy blockage from this though. I'm wondering if I can anticipate that I *will* begin to experience energy experiences like I mentioned in the original post if I chose not to listen to the inner guru for whatever reason.
Thanks again for all the feedback!
Love!
Carson
P.S. Sparkling Diamond, I could probably come up with a thousand reasons why I ignored the voice, but the reality is is that there was probably at least some level of unconsciousness to the voice and therefor it wasn't taken seriously. |
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 11:48:40 AM
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Hi Carson,
In my experience, major "bitchslapping" events like that are more often just one time warnings. As "clarity" grows, one starts to "feel the flow" and we sometimes get major manifestations around the edges. The "body" avoiding things can be both physical and mental issues.
Recently, my 19 year old daughter (who has major K), was at party and was wondering if she should have a second drink. A wind came out of no where and shattered her glass against the wall, leaving all of the other glasses alone on the table. Freaked out the entire party group (at least those who could still pay attention ).
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Edited by - jeff on Jan 02 2013 11:49:46 AM |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 12:23:01 PM
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Thanks for the input Jeff. I guess the only way to know if this is "the new norm" is for me to choose to disobey the heart voice again and see what happens. The decision to disobey usually only happens a couple of times a year now (if that)so it may be a while before I have a chance to test this out.... who knows, maybe I will never disobey the heart voice again after this?
Hope your daughter and her friends are all calmed down now. 
Love!
Carson |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 1:02:55 PM
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Dear Carson, I've been in touch with this voice inside as well... It's best when I always listen to it and when I don't I usually regret not doing so because of the results... I tried living without listening to it for a while on purpose and the result was really bad for me... But similar results like the ones you mentioned are very rare... Yet they've happened with me more than once in the past...
Hope this helps. Less coffee is much better health wise anyways...
Love,
Ananda |
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 1:17:43 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by jeff
Hi Carson,
In my experience, major "bitchslapping" events like that are more often just one time warnings. As "clarity" grows, one starts to "feel the flow" and we sometimes get major manifestations around the edges. The "body" avoiding things can be both physical and mental issues.
Recently, my 19 year old daughter (who has major K), was at party and was wondering if she should have a second drink. A wind came out of no where and shattered her glass against the wall, leaving all of the other glasses alone on the table. Freaked out the entire party group (at least those who could still pay attention ).
Haha, that's hilarious Jeff :D
I like the term bitchslapping, that's exactly what it is. I agree that those are usually one-offs, even as dire as those bitchslaps seem at the time, they don't seem to be recurring.
Nice post Carson. I definitely get this stuff some times, and when I stubbornly do the "wrong" thing, I usually get a big bump on the head, or a stubbed toe. Haha. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 1:25:01 PM
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Sounds like you're describing the proverbial Jiminy Cricket. "Let your conscience be your guide."
It's nice when there's no voice at all--just inner silence leading the way. But when the voice does speak to me, I release it into stillness, contemplatively, spontaneously, and lovingly. The release of the little voice (or big one, depending on the circumstance) brings the liberation.
And who's to say what the "norm" is? It's all just scenery and different templates for the mind to operate from. If you favor and give attention to a certain template/modality/framework, it will recur. Lately, I've been having fun with "power animals" and using Joseph Campbell-like mythology/metaphors to navigate through situations. I'm digging the polar bear.
But samyama (and its underlying principle of "touch and release") is my Number One go-to technique that happens more and more automatically.  |
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kami
USA
921 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 1:34:20 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
And who's to say what the "norm" is? It's all just scenery and different templates for the mind to operate from. If you favor and give attention to a certain template/modality/framework, it will recur.
Very true and very wise. BOOM, as you said somewhere else
Scenery galore!
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 3:30:36 PM
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when the voice expresses itself in spontaneous action (ie you look back and say oh how come i did that! from where this action came out?) then it is inner silence guiding (that was the case of the second cup of coffee...for some reason Carson your body at that moment was better off without this second cup!!...next time your body might need this second cup)
but when the voice is repetitive...ie each time it gives you the same do and dont...should and should not...(dont drink wine...sex is bad...dont eat meat...do pick up the poop...)then it is just another conditioning ...
in some extreme cases it might show deep hidden layers of guilt and the need to stick to a definition of what constitutes a good human being
as BT said ..there are no norms
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 4:34:07 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
when the voice expresses itself in spontaneous action (ie you look back and say oh how come i did that! from where this action came out?) then it is inner silence guiding (that was the case of the second cup of coffee...for some reason Carson your body at that moment was better off without this second cup!!...next time your body might need this second cup)
but when the voice is repetitive...ie each time it gives you the same do and dont...should and should not...(dont drink wine...sex is bad...dont eat meat...do pick up the poop...)then it is just another conditioning ...
in some extreme cases it might show deep hidden layers of guilt and the need to stick to a definition of what constitutes a good human being
as BT said ..there are no norms
Hi Maheswari,
Spontaneous action can also sometimes be subconscious "conditioned" responses. Anger or getting mad seeing something are good examples.
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 5:22:59 PM
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I think it's best to not assume the voice is always right, and sometimes use your personal freedom to choose. I follow my inner guru almost all the time, but occasionally ignore it for a reason. There used to be repercussions, but maybe I could cause them myself. Once I decided sometimes I will not follow the voice, and will accept whatever the consequences, there don't seem to be consequences.
I could try to reason that one out, but who knows maybe the voice comes from a different angle at times? |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 6:54:48 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
and will accept whatever the consequences
Ah surrender
The still, small voice is beyond the voice telling you to do this and that. You are just hearing your internal chatter fitting with your expectations. Would a more enlightened person drink coffee ? If yes, then stop drinking coffee goes the internal chatterbox. If you ignore it then it is just another voice you missed telling you to ignore the first one fun huh ?
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 7:06:38 PM
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Thanks Everyone!
@Ananda: "similar results like the ones you mentioned are very rare... Yet they've happened with me more than once in the past..."
---Wonderful, thanks for sharing your experience with me.
@TTN: "I agree that those are usually one-offs, even as dire as those bitchslaps seem at the time, they don't seem to be recurring"
---Thank you too for sharing your experience here. Seems like the consensus is that these are usually one off events.
@Bodhi: "It's nice when there's no voice at all--just inner silence leading the way. But when the voice does speak to me, I release it into stillness, contemplatively, spontaneously, and lovingly. The release of the little voice (or big one, depending on the circumstance) brings the liberation."
---Yes, the voice is not always talking. In fact it is actually somewhat rare. It usually comes up when I really need to pay attention to something. Unfortunately "the voice" (aka "the inner guru") is always quiet and subtle and I'm very much conditioned to only paying attention to things that are obvious. This has changed a lot over the years, but I still catch myself ignoring the inner guru on occasion simply because it is so gentle.
"And who's to say what the "norm" is? It's all just scenery and different templates for the mind to operate from. If you favor and give attention to a certain template/modality/framework, it will recur."
---With regards to "the norm".... I'm just talking about consciousness and energy moving into yet another level of increased subtlety/sensitivity.
But, I must say, that NOT paying attention to our "template/modality/framework" is a great way to allow them to continue playing out unconsciously. In my experience, its only by paying attention to our framework (and THEN letting go of it) that we become fully aware of our human tendencies and begin to unwind them.
@Kami:
@Maheswari: "Carson your body at that moment was better off without this second cup!!...next time your body might need this second cup"
---I totally agree. I've stopped (as much as possible anyway) trying to set generic rules for myself. I no longer say "I don't do this" or "I always do that" etc etc because I know that I am capable of doing anything and not doing anything all the same, depending on the moment.
@Jeff: A great reminder, thank you.
@Etherfish: There are different voices (IMO). "The Heart Voice," whatever you want to call it, is always right (for me) in my experience. It has never led me astray and (at least in hindsight) it is pretty easy to distinguish from all the "mental voices."
Thanks again for all the great conversation friends!!
Love!
Carson |
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Arman
Australia
47 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 8:52:17 PM
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| It's a great place to stand; when life bitchslaps you; you learn to love it. You're thankful for it's teachings. :) |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2013 : 10:21:01 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
But, I must say, that NOT paying attention to our "template/modality/framework" is a great way to allow them to continue playing out unconsciously. In my experience, its only by paying attention to our framework (and THEN letting go of it) that we become fully aware of our human tendencies and begin to unwind them.
So true. Well said. |
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lmaher22
USA
217 Posts |
Posted - Jan 03 2013 : 3:31:05 PM
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| Hi Carson, maybe that particular coffee sucked or had something wrong with it? Maybe not. I used to gamble an awful lot, mostly why I'm financially screwed now. I'd hear little voices all the time (and sometimes a big, ugly, bent-nose's voice saying pay-up) but I'd ignore them. I think I was thinking but if I gave this up what will I do? Hmmmmmmmmm. I finally cut out most of my gambling and drinking and smoking AND now I sit around a lot wondering "what's there to do?". |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Jan 03 2013 : 9:35:54 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by karl
quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
and will accept whatever the consequences
Ah surrender
The still, small voice is beyond the voice telling you to do this and that. You are just hearing your internal chatter fitting with your expectations. Would a more enlightened person drink coffee ? If yes, then stop drinking coffee goes the internal chatterbox. If you ignore it then it is just another voice you missed telling you to ignore the first one fun huh ?
Well, there really are no voices telling me what to do; that was a metaphor. My inner guru communicates more by perception. I feel that I need a way out, and I see a gate in front of me. It's more like feeling answered by a situation.
There is a whole series of needs followed by gates, then I decide I want to do something different and don't use a gate, and turn to the side instead. Of course, each answer is not really a gate, but a situation fulfilling whatever the need was.
It's like a navigator for me. You don't have to follow everything a navigator says; it will always re-calculate. |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2013 : 04:37:49 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
quote:
Originally posted by karl
quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
and will accept whatever the consequences
Ah surrender
The still, small voice is beyond the voice telling you to do this and that. You are just hearing your internal chatter fitting with your expectations. Would a more enlightened person drink coffee ? If yes, then stop drinking coffee goes the internal chatterbox. If you ignore it then it is just another voice you missed telling you to ignore the first one fun huh ?
Well, there really are no voices telling me what to do; that was a metaphor. My inner guru communicates more by perception. I feel that I need a way out, and I see a gate in front of me. It's more like feeling answered by a situation.
There is a whole series of needs followed by gates, then I decide I want to do something different and don't use a gate, and turn to the side instead. Of course, each answer is not really a gate, but a situation fulfilling whatever the need was.
It's like a navigator for me. You don't have to follow everything a navigator says; it will always re-calculate.
You are aware of a feeling which pulls this way and that way. Sometimes it manifests as a voice, other times it seems inherently obvious when bodily needs call for attention or danger appears.
The still voice is silent and imparts no direction and does not prohibit any. It endures with you but remains untouched and untainted by any action and it seeks none. It is unconditional love without boundary, music without sound, it illuminates of itself without a source of light , it is stillness dancing and only requires the smallest move towards it, a gentle introversion of the senses and yet is easily drowned out by the slightest outward gesture or internal thought.
The internal Guru guides like a unswerving arrow, but doesn't point out a direction. Instead it tries to get you to see properly. Wax on, wax off . The way of the warrior was never about combat or mental strength, but about building a sightless vision, effortless action and total tranquility with outgoing, pure, unconditional love.
So, the gates we go through are just exercise, all part of the digging which requires all the senses and energies to be directed and focused until it is seen that no digging has ever happened, there was no path at all, but that doesn't mean we can rest up, only that we have found the focus, the heart, the centre and the moment. If digging stops it will once again be clouded and obscured even when it is always right there. |
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Is this the new norm??
