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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
 Posted - May 12 2012 : 11:27:07 AM
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I just thought I would mention the following in case it helps to add a bit of clarity for those who are wondering what my motivation for opening this topic may be.
I can imagine that some of you may be thinking that I have perhaps taken a step backwards (as Karl mentioned above) by choosing to meditate much less than I have been over the past several years and to be questioning whether or not meditation could actually be slowing down spiritual transformation.
I just want to mention that the reason I've been going through this line of questioning is because, again as Karl mentioned above, nothing is sacred (for me) at this time. And when I say "nothing is sacred" what I mean is that *everything* that is believed has to be subjected to the light of awareness and inquiry and has to stand up to the test of being weighed against the resonance in my heart. This means that even the beliefs I have in what meditation does and how it affects me have to be questioned.
I don't know if this is something that everyone has to go through in the process of unfolding to their greater potential, but it is certainly something that I seem to have to go through. It can be very unsettling to be honest. It was easy for me to land in the safety and security of a life lived from a belief set that made sense to my mind, but at this time it seems that safety and security is not what I need. It seems that I need to be okay with not-knowing, with having no solid ground to stand on, and to be comfortable questioning absolutely everything that I have held to be true. I know that this could easily slide into "non-relational inquiry" if I am not diligent in staying aware of how engaged the mind is in the process of inquiry, but that too seems to be part of the process.... learning to notice when the the mind is trying to run the show.
Anyway, I just thought it was worth mentioning why this line of questioning came up.
Love,
Carson 
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - May 12 2012 : 3:08:12 PM
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Your line of reasoning (and questioning) is completely valid. Meditation alone can become a "bubble-like" practice. The key is the full integration into the practice of "life/existence". The perception of "meditation" or "non-meditation" is only a perception. Trust your "inner guru", you know what you are doing. The distinction drops and all your daily life becomes a meditation (living Samyama).
Love
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chas
USA
209 Posts |
Posted - May 12 2012 : 5:53:00 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
I don't know if this is something that everyone has to go through in the process of unfolding to their greater potential, but it is certainly something that I seem to have to go through.
Hi Carson,
I went through something similar, it seems. It was an attachment to ecstatic energy sensations... Not sure if this is the same as with you, but sounds similar.
Also, I don't know how common the following events are... the energy was like a veil over stillness. I hadn't recognized this until one morning last spring when there was a pulsation of emptiness/energy... like a Sri Yantra energy explosion moving through stillness. The pulsation was at the solar for quite a while, eventually moving up to the heart. This was also when I first noticed very subtle bliss, deeper than ecstatic sensations, and pure expression of stillness (divine love, pure joy, etc.). A pratyahara in stillness/bliss developed and seems to have supported further expansion...With this, the flow and engagement with life increased as 'stillness in action', 'outpouring of divine love'.
So I guess the point in all this is that inward attention seems to be a necessary step to go beyond ecstatic, and bliss is not to be avoided, but sought. Then at some point inner and outer attention merge and is both inward and outward, or neither (words are useless here:)) ...'non-dual awareness'.
Love |
Edited by - chas on May 12 2012 7:58:21 PM |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - May 12 2012 : 9:38:20 PM
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Carso, Namaste to you. Not as a friendly greeting but as a salute. You are breaking the mirrors that hold the individual reflections. When the last one has been smashed, then the self can be known.
It's a hard route to take. It is relational self inquiry so it should be plain sailing.
I packed in under similar circumstances and when I returned to it, all the practices had become devotional. I gave up independence, surrendered and became a servant and a dependent.
When the mirrors break there are no independent selves, just one self everywhere, no requirement to control anything when the self is infinite.
May the mirrors break quickly. |
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Delara
Lebanon
305 Posts |
Posted - May 13 2012 : 06:41:08 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by chas
Also, I don't know how common the following events are... the energy was like a veil over stillness. I hadn't recognized this until one morning last spring when there was a pulsation of emptiness/energy... like a Sri Yantra energy explosion moving through stillness. The pulsation was at the solar for quite a while, eventually moving up to the heart. This was also when I first noticed very subtle bliss, deeper than ecstatic sensations, and pure expression of stillness (divine love, pure joy, etc.). A pratyahara in stillness/bliss developed and seems to have supported further expansion...With this, the flow and engagement with life increased as 'stillness in action', 'outpouring of divine love'.
So I guess the point in all this is that inward attention seems to be a necessary step to go beyond ecstatic, and bliss is not to be avoided, but sought. Then at some point inner and outer attention merge and is both inward and outward, or neither (words are useless here:)) ...'non-dual awareness'.
Love
Beautiful |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - May 13 2012 : 09:08:45 AM
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quote:
Carso, Namaste to you. Not as a friendly greeting but as a salute. You are breaking the mirrors that hold the individual reflections. When the last one has been smashed, then the self can be known.
very nice
Karl how many times did you watch Enter the Dragon  |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - May 13 2012 : 3:04:28 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
quote:
Carso, Namaste to you. Not as a friendly greeting but as a salute. You are breaking the mirrors that hold the individual reflections. When the last one has been smashed, then the self can be known.
very nice
Karl how many times did you watch Enter the Dragon
Many times and then I lived it. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - May 13 2012 : 9:54:18 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by karl
quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
quote:
Carso, Namaste to you. Not as a friendly greeting but as a salute. You are breaking the mirrors that hold the individual reflections. When the last one has been smashed, then the self can be known.
very nice
Karl how many times did you watch Enter the Dragon
Many times and then I lived it.
Excellent metaphor, maheswari.
I bet Karl's even got some battle scars from the man with the steel claws...brutal, those are. I've got a few myself.
It reminds me of the ending scene from Platoon, when he's flying away from his tour in Vietnam and says:
"I think now, looking back, we did not fight the enemy, we fought ourselves, and the enemy was in us."
The enemy is in the mirror, but so is the hero. 
Onward. |
Edited by - Bodhi Tree on May 13 2012 9:55:26 PM |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2012 : 03:21:23 AM
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excellent quote from Platoon
btw i never managed to watch this movie...too violent for me  |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2012 : 05:20:31 AM
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Except there was never an enemy, it is all an illusion. The battles are real enough though
I do have scars, they are marks of progress and are only given by love. |
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BuddhiHermit
United Kingdom
84 Posts |
Posted - Jun 22 2012 : 5:46:00 PM
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In most traditional approaches, two elements are identified ; Equanimity, and Insight.
Silence grows into blissful equanimity and remains there, containing life, but not enlightening it.
Some, enter the stream of Bliss, and ride it home.
Others grow Insight on the foundation of Equanimity, deepening both over time, and see their way home.
Namaste |
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - Jun 22 2012 : 10:05:22 PM
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Hi Carson,
I am reading this entire thread for the first time.... but I understand exactly what you are saying and I empathize!
Wanted you to hear that bro!
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escapado
Germany
88 Posts |
Posted - Jul 04 2012 : 05:29:51 AM
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hey there carson
I had something *like* that (not the exact same thing and maybe not as dramatic as that) going on here in the past few weeks.
You know that anaesthesiatic feeling you sometimes get after smoking pot?
That's what has been haunting me for 6 or 7 years (as far as I remember, could be more) now.
When you don't know what you're here for and/but you don't feel comfortable with yourself at all.
So lately it was just too much for me. I couldn't stand it anymore (especially since it's been returning and leaving again and again making myself fight and struggle with my energy), it was simply ruining me (as for what I wanted it was the opposite).
I had to jump off of the meditation stuff, too - for a week at least. It seemed like meditation was for no real reason at all, just draggin myself over the floor. Like it fueled the immense amount of friction that had gathered up in me.
So I took a rest from it but I couldn't stop there. I made myself the vow that I wouldn't stop until ... eh not so sure about that right now :P (but instinctively my wish has been unbound freedom ever since I can remember feeling - feeling had always been a seeking with me)
In that time off I somehow summoned all my will power and then it made click "I can and I will do that" and that's the part where _I_ decided how I wanted to devote myself to this again freely because _I_ want that so!
(manipura is oh so beautiful!)
In the end we might all just be illusions but this one illusion here nicknamed escapado wants to be free to be like it is so I support myself and fuel myself and I found this positivity to be the right way (for me)!
it was all too dull and I knew I needed balance but I didn't know what the missing counterpart was.
Looking back I could say maybe or probably it was just an overload, too. LOL
So much 'bout that,huh. Hope you get everything as you really wish it to be!
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eyeknownothing
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - Aug 10 2012 : 12:07:34 PM
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| Indeed - nothing is sacred. The emperor has never worn any clothes or had any actual power to decree what makes a woodchuck chuck. But if we're all made of nothing, then is everything sacred? What if we just need a little more juice to fuel taking the reigns of that authority? |
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Can meditation be a hindrance?
