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kami
USA
920 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 12 2012 : 3:36:31 PM
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Last night, as I was getting ready for bed, I found myself looking into the mirror. As always, my gaze was initially drawn impatiently to the flaws and imperfections. Then, the mirror seemed to draw me in and I stood gazing solemnly at the face looking back. Suddenly, total incredulous-ness - whose face is this? Is it "mine"? What makes it "mine"? If I had never looked in a mirror, would I know it to be "mine" if I somehow ran into it on the street? Then it struck me that I will never know my face other than how it looks in the mirror. There is no way to step out of this body and look at myself en fas. Would I still be "me" if I never looked in a mirror?
Then I looked down at my hands - gosh, what makes them "my" hands? As I stood there looking down at parts of "me", the shock was overwhelming. Where did this "me" come from?
If there was no mirror, I would still have a sense of "me", because I could still see some of my body. I became curious to examine that. This is arising obviously from the sense of sight. So, somewhere along the way of light rays hitting my body, the eyes registering, the optic nerve carrying the impulse to the optic center of the brain and the brain deciphering the message, the "me" got associated with it. What if I could cut off that sense of sight - say, if I was born blind? Would I know this body to be different than any other? So I experimented with that, cutting off sight as much as possible. Yes, of course, there was still a "me" because then I associated it with the other senses. What if I could sense nothing - no sense of hearing, touch, smell, taste or hearing? How would the brain know it was "me" versus "not me"? So then I systematically cut off the other senses. But, as I stood there, all senses withdrawn, there was still a "me".
Ha! So, it was something more elemental than the senses. I explored that.. Ahh - thoughts! So, do my thoughts define who "me" is? Is "me" limited by the space this body occupies? Of course not, thought does. But I can go to the next galaxy in my thoughts - is that not "me" then? Where do my thoughts (more correctly, perception) "about" something end and the "something" begin? I could not find that neat separation.
So, at this point, I shifted my attention to my husband - what makes him "not me"? Is the boundary between "me" and "not me" drawn where one senses one's "own" sensations and thoughts? What if I could read his thoughts and feel his sensations? Would that make him "me"? Or would he still be a "not me" whose thoughts I could read and whose sensations I could feel? I continued this exploration, shifting my attention to my children, my home, the trees and flowers outside, the clear sky and then to family and friends at a distance - gee, turns out there is nothing that is "not me"!!
Then it dawned on me that the only thing that separates "me" from "not me" is this ridiculous sense of "ownership" I've picked up somewhere along the way. It is ridiculous because when I look for it, "I" cannot find "me". Yet, I've built up a whole identity around it
What a great tool this turned out to be - "Mirror mirror on the wall.. "
kami |
Edited by - kami on Aug 12 2012 3:51:43 PM |
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2012 : 5:39:24 PM
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Beautiful.
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kami
USA
920 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2012 : 07:42:18 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by jeff
Beautiful.
Thanks Jeff
Love to you. |
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2012 : 09:28:09 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by kami
quote:
Originally posted by jeff
Beautiful.
Thanks Jeff
Love to you.
Love you always.
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2012 : 4:05:52 PM
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I'm posting from a 7 day retreat upstate at the Omega Institute with Rupert Spira. It's great stuff but I'm starting to overload, so skipping the afternoon session.
nice kami, I've had a very similar experience too 
it was more like, just suddenly noticing that this image of a person in the mirror is just a visual image, floating in a limitless sea of awareness, like a cloud in the sky.
All perceptions have been very empty, ephemeral this week, no self in any of them, like projections on a movie screen. Then everything started taking on a completely void-like emptiness and depression came up, so I knew it was time to take it easy and do something non-spiritual for a while... well, I'm posting on AYP... at least it's not a spiritual practice.
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kami
USA
920 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2012 : 6:25:31 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by mr_anderson
I'm posting from a 7 day retreat upstate at the Omega Institute with Rupert Spira. It's great stuff but I'm starting to overload, so skipping the afternoon session.
nice kami, I've had a very similar experience too
it was more like, just suddenly noticing that this image of a person in the mirror is just a visual image, floating in a limitless sea of awareness, like a cloud in the sky.
All perceptions have been very empty, ephemeral this week, no self in any of them, like projections on a movie screen. Then everything started taking on a completely void-like emptiness and depression came up, so I knew it was time to take it easy and do something non-spiritual for a while... well, I'm posting on AYP... at least it's not a spiritual practice.
Josh,
How wonderful! We seem to be "twins" I just started reading Rupert Spira's "The Transparency of Things" - it literally "speaks" to me!!
PS: Who said posting on AYP is not a spiritual practice??
Have fun!
Love to you. |
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Aug 14 2012 : 1:27:56 PM
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Hi Kami, it's because ultimately, we are non-dual!
Awesome, glad to hear you are working through Transparency of Things. We did a guided meditation this morning with Rupert taking us from residing as formless awareness witnessing experience, through to the collapse of subject/object - non-duality.
Many of the people in the room I've spoken to so far experienced the non-dual nature of experience. He's a really great teacher.
Also heartening is that Rupert said he never had one specific enlightenment experience after which everything was suddenly, permanently different - it was just a gradually growing conviction and insight and progressive falling away of obstructions and inner openings. This is more akin to my personal experience, helps relax seeking for the Eckhart Tolle style 'instant, total transformation' experience.
Love!
Josh |
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kami
USA
920 Posts |
Posted - Aug 14 2012 : 7:07:58 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by mr_anderson
Also heartening is that Rupert said he never had one specific enlightenment experience after which everything was suddenly, permanently different - it was just a gradually growing conviction and insight and progressive falling away of obstructions and inner openings. This is more akin to my personal experience, helps relax seeking for the Eckhart Tolle style 'instant, total transformation' experience.
SO glad to hear this! Have heard this also from Yogani and Nirmala (another great teacher and author).
Nirmala gave this example when I asked him about the going in and out of 'is-ness' - (paraphrasing) "if you park your car in the garage, do you need to constantly look at it, or touch it to know it is there? Most often, the awakening experience *is* gradual, exactly like this. It is always "there", and "it" becomes a constant reality as obstructions are released and there is dissolution of doubt."
Enjoy the retreat Hope I can make it to one of them!
Love to you. |
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