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magman
USA
12 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 31 2012 : 7:11:18 PM
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Hi everyone!
I’m new to this whole meditation / energy thing and am desperately looking for some advice.
I’ve been doing deep meditation (20 min. twice a day) for almost three months, with spinal breathing pranayama (10 min.) beginning about two months ago, and started adding samyama just a couple of weeks ago. I’ve purchased a few of Yogani’s books and have been reading quite a lot about all of this. Not too long before I started, I used to think all of this energy / meditation stuff was a bunch of hocus-pocus BS. Not any more!
Anyway, I really started feeling things happening after about a month of practice, most of which I cannot find anyone talking about anywhere on the internet. For example, many times after meditation, I can feel what I can best describe as a garden hose pouring water into my perineum from above in the center of my body (not my spine). Sometimes the flow is aimed a little further back (actually feels like it’s pouring out of my anus), while other times it is shooting at locations along the front of my body. In the beginning, it felt like bubbles, but eventually evolved to full flow. What’s really weird(er) is that I can consciously change where it’s pointing. I can also feel what I assume to be blockages, mainly in my perineum. Some feel like a loosely woven mesh, some feel like a string of pearls. The worst ones are what I’d describe as white-hot grains of sand, that if I focus on, want to move around and eventually emit something that feels like hot molasses. The first two “blockages” (?) I described tend to slowly flow out….. again, out the anus. If the hot ones get there, they tend to get stuck, as do the mesh ones sometimes. When they do, my lower body begins to feel like it’s filled with a stagnant, warm, nauseating fluid. There are many other things I feel, but these are the main ones. The funny thing is that I’ve occasionally felt some of these things for as long as I can remember (I’m 42), but wrote them off as “some weird gas”, or “that really intense itch”, or hemorrhoids. I assume that my root is weak / blocked. Although I have a rather sedentary job, I do lift weights five nights a week. This should help the root, no?
The main reason that I’m writing this is that I’m experiencing, from what I’ve been reading, is heavy crown activity. I’ve read about the tingling some people feel, but what I’m feeling is more like those white-hot grains of sand, along with that hot molasses (though not as painful), slowly flowing down my face. Normally they stop above or right at the eyes, but sometimes (like right now) they’ll continue down to the bottom of my nose. This has been going on for about two weeks now. One morning after a particularly bad night, the bottoms of both eyes felt like the sandman unloaded his gravel hauler on me. When these things are flowing, I can move them around by putting my hands near – not necessarily touching – them, but they find their way back not long after I remove my hand and continue to ooze down. Sometimes, when they’re really bad, it’s almost as if I’m placing my fingers over an old CRT TV tube – a feeling of static in my fingers. I’ve also noticed that standing in the sun seems to have some effect on them.
A couple of days after this started, I greatly backed-off of my practice, without much, if any improvement. I didn’t do any practice for the past four days, and only did a 10 min. deep meditation this morning, and they’re as bad as ever. In fact, today I’ve had a headache most of the day. Which reminds me – Within a couple of minutes of the I Am mantra, some of these things seem to start responding by going into a frenzy, getting cold, and some even seem to “explode”. The problem is that as soon as most of them are gone, a whole new crop springs up from the top of my head somewhere. I’ve even thought that they might be re-cycling somehow. I don’t know.
All in all, I'd say that these practices have been having a very positive effect on me, and I'm determined to stick with them! I’m just concerned about a premature crown opening, as I’m quite sure I’m not ready for that. So, my big questions are: 1) What can I do? Should I only do pranayama for a while to try and balance things out? After the meditation this morning, I’m a bit scared to do more meditation at this point. If I completely stop, will this stuff on my face stop, or, if it is the crown, is it a situation where once it starts it doesn’t stop? 2) Why can’t I find anybody else describing these things I feel anywhere in the net? Is my body really messed-up, have I been over-practicing, or am I just one of those “sensitive” types? 3) Are these things really blockages coming loose or something else?
Thanks in advance for any help you might be able to provide. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Jan 31 2012 : 11:14:37 PM
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Hi Magman,
Welcome to the AYP forums. 
The water pouring feeling is, as I am sure you know, energy movement. It is experienced in various forms. Water is definitely of them.
Is the feel of water flow downward generally?
The energy in the head... I was not sure if it is making you uncomfortable? Is it? Does it feel like pressure in the head that makes it feel like your head is going to explode? Is it making you spacey? Giving you headaches?
If not, some amount of crown is normal. You do do spinal breathing from perineum to third eye right? That one is important.
Also, when you feel this grain of sand like energy flow from the crown, can you direct it downward? Can you take the energy away from your head? Bring it to the heart or solar plexus, or even lower?
People perceive energy in different ways, does not mean you have more or less blocks... Just means things are happening and your perception of how it feels is different from anyone else's. It will change over time as blocks dissolve.
About meditation, I feel, you should not give it up, reduce the time if you feel that is better, but spinal breathing without meditation may cause more imbalance in my experience.
I am sure people will give you more advice.
For now, I would suggest, ground... eat heavier for a bit, and any time you realize you are feeling energy in your head, bring your attention to the lower part of your body. Energy generally follows your attention and it will help take the energy to the lower areas of your body.
Hope some of this helps.
Wish you all the best and thank you for sharing. |
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magman
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - Feb 01 2012 : 11:14:45 AM
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Thank you very much for your response, Shanti! It is much appreciated!
I figured it was energy, not much else it could be, I guess. It’s just that it’s not at all how I would expect energy to feel. I can make it flow up, but only towards the front of my body, not change direction. I assume that’s what’s supposed to happen? Travel upwards along the same path? The nerve?
Yes, I do spinal breathing up too. The last couple of times, however, as soon as I got to the base of my skull, right before the 90° turn forward, my attention kept going in a spiral. It was very difficult to keep it straight along the nerve. I discovered that it was one of these blocks. Apparently, the energy attracts my attention too.
It is uncomfortable. Not debilitatingly so, but my eyes sometimes burn, and occasionally I’ll see and feel a black thing out of the corner of my eye when my face is pointing down, like it’s hanging from my face – outside! It’s really quite bizarre. Yesterday after the 10 minute meditation was the first time I had a headache from it. Not quite like my head would explode, but a good amount of pressure from the top of my head. I certainly wouldn’t want it to get any worse. Yes, I do occasionally feel spacey, and it seems to correspond to when things get plugged up at the root. I might mention here, based on some other things I’ve read, that I did have a “vision” about a week before this started, although I’d call it more of an experience than a vision, as I felt it in my whole body. What I saw was all purple, then I saw what looked like the profile of my face sticking half-way into this purple orb, and the line along where my face and this orb intersected, were a bunch of white dots, which I knew were the blockages. It was those that were keeping my face from completely going into the orb. The feeling was incredible, but I figured that was some of the “scenery” that Yogani speaks of. I cannot help but feel that this experience is somehow related. I just pray that I didn’t go too far!
I find that focusing on the heart does help. It seems to clear up anything below my eyes – for a while. Sometimes I’ll feel one of the grains of sand travel down my chest and stomach. I’m reluctant to do too much of that, though, for a couple of reasons. First, from what I understand, Yogani recommends not focusing on the charkras, it’s “under the hood”. Second, If these grains of sand get to my root before they’re dissolved, they clog up my root, which is really uncomfortable. There are just so many of these things. I wish they’d just stay put! I can’t seem to find a good way of managing them.
I do and always have eaten heavy. Physical exercise definitely seems to be the best management tool so far. I just cannot be that active at work. No, I have no intention of giving up, just taking a break so that things (hopefully) will stabilize a bit. This has all been happening too fast, and I get a bit spooked when I read the horror stories about premature crown openings and things like that. This practice has been very beneficial for me so far, and I don’t want to end up in a worse place than where I was when I started!
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Edited by - magman on Feb 01 2012 12:38:11 PM |
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magman
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - Feb 01 2012 : 1:28:37 PM
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| Based on Shanti's advice, I took a walk at lunch to ground myself, which helped a lot. When I sat down at my desk, I could feel what I assume is energy pulsing up my spine. What concerns me is that instead of going forward to my third eye, it seems to be going up around the top of my head. It feels like there's a block in my nerve through my head diverting the energy up. Is this even possible? If so, will this open my crown eventually? How can I remove this block in time to avert a problem? Please help! I'm starting to freak out here! |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 01 2012 : 1:43:12 PM
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Relax... it all works out... dont freak out... that makes the energy higher.
If there is a block around the throat and that is causing the attention/energy to go straight up, for now when you reach the base of the neck, jump your attention to the 3rd eye... On the way down see if you can follow your breath all the way down from 3rd eye... if not.. again jump your attention from 3rd eye to the base of neck.
You may just have to do it for a few days and the attention will get trained to go the 3rd eye. Once this happens, the energy will flow that way as well.
I am glad the walk helped.
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Christi
United Kingdom
4429 Posts |
Posted - Feb 01 2012 : 3:32:02 PM
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Hi Magman,
You've had some good advice from Shanti.
All the things you are experiencing are fairly normal energy movements that accompany a kundalini awakening. It does sound like too much is happening too quickly, so if I were you I would take a break from practices for a while, maybe a few weeks even, to let things settle down a bit. The energy sensations won't stop altogether, but they should become a bit smoother and more comfortable. You will also get more used to them. The hot grains of sand will not stop altogether, but they will stop being hot, and become ecstatic. They will also stop feeling like grains of sand and will feel more like drops of oil. And yes, they are recycling themselves. This will happen gradually over the coming months/ years rather than over the coming days / weeks, just to give you an idea of time-scales.
The energy is flowing up towards your crown because of a lack of blockages, not because of one. The sushumna nadi has a fork in it, around the area of the pineal gland (centre of the brain). When enough purification has happened, energy will automatically begin to flow up towards the crown. This is natural and is part of what spinal breathing is supposed to accomplish.
The reason you can move the energy using your hands is because you have a nadi (energy channel) running down each arm, ending at the tips of your fingers, but centering on a chakra at the palm of each hand. Energy interacts with itself, and does so at a distance, so you can alter the energy by placing your hands close to your body. This is also how energy healers often work.
The reason I would advise you to take a break for a while is because your symptoms are painful and uncomfortable, and because you are finding what is happening unnerving. After a break, come back to practices, but do so gently. Definitely include some form of meditation, either mantra, or if that is too strong, then breathing meditation. And include spinal breathing pranayama as this will help to stabilize the prana and make sure that the main focus of purification continues to be root to brow.
You should review these lessons:
http://www.aypsite.org/199.html
http://www.aypsite.org/287.html
http://www.aypsite.org/367.html
All the best,
Christi |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4429 Posts |
Posted - Feb 01 2012 : 3:39:29 PM
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p.s.
In answer to the "why don't people write about this stuff on the internet?" question...
Who would believe it? 
But fortunately, times are changing fast. |
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magman
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - Feb 01 2012 : 3:46:52 PM
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I'm a bit calmer now. I guess that's one of the challenges of this path; keeping the mind in check. While I've been sitting here working, I've been catching these pulses of energy and trying to guide them through my head instead of over it, and already it seems to be flowing through a little better. What's really hard is focusing on the third eye that I can't feel while the sensations on the top of my head are so prevalent. So, when I get home, I'll do 5 min. pranayama and then 10 min. meditation.
Thanks again for your support, Shanti! |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 01 2012 : 6:18:53 PM
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You are welcome Magman.
Like you said, it is hard to focus on something we don't feel and go toward what we do feel... but you are doing great... give it a few days and you will see it is not very hard... just a matter of training our mind to go where we want it to... then it becomes a habit.
Also remember to bring your attention into the lower part of your body if the energy in the head feels heavy... that too is just a matter of practice.
Wish you all the best. |
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magman
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - Feb 02 2012 : 08:39:13 AM
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Thank you for the information, Christi. What you wrote about the nadis explains many of the feelings I've noticed. For some reason, I did not see your posts when I wrote my last one. I will definitely review those lessons you posted. Exactly, who would believe it! Sometimes I still wake up in the morning and this all seems like a dream....
When I got home from work yesterday, I did the 5 / 10 minute practice. There must have been some major cleaning going on in the week since I last did pranayama. I couldn't believe how quickly and easily my attention went up and down my spine! But, as I suspected, there is quite a bottleneck in my brain (my Dad tried to tell me that many years ago!) Things seemed to clear up quite a bit after that. Based on that, I think I’ll keep it light for a while. I would back off completely, but I feel I should work on clearing the path through the head and hope for slow, continuous improvement.
Thanks again for all of the help!
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gatito
United Kingdom
179 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2012 : 12:05:14 PM
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Could I ask a supplemental please?
If there is crown activity, is SBP essential to control/stabillise it, or will DM do the job of controlling/stabillising by itself?
Thanks in anticipation. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2012 : 12:15:52 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by gatito
Could I ask a supplemental please?
If there is crown activity, is SBP essential to control/stabillise it, or will DM do the job of controlling/stabillising by itself?
Thanks in anticipation.
Both the mantra and spinal breathing are designed to balance the energy between the head and body.
In my case, spinal breathing helped a lot. But some people may feel more overload with spinal breathing and just stay with meditation. We all have to find out own sweet spot.
http://www.aypsite.org/69.html
Even in the smoothest kundalini awakening there will be some symptoms. There can be some aching and/or heat around the extremities of the spinal nerve, just as you described – third eye and root. With easy spinal breathing and meditation they should not become extreme. If they do, back off practices somewhat, as recommended, and try some of the further measures mentioned below. Many other things can happen: Light burning sensations here and there. Some lurching of the body or sudden movement of air from the lungs during practices. The feeling of insects crawling on the limbs, or little pricks like they are biting occasionally during the day. Strange feelings in the feet that are both pleasurable and itchy at the same time -- this can be smoothed by walking regularly. It can happen in the hands too. There can also be a varied assortment of goose bumps, occasional shivers, sexual arousal, inner buzzing and humming sounds, hot pinpricks, slight headaches, and other weird sensations. All of this stuff settles down in time. To the extent any of it remains, it is overshadowed by the experience of pure bliss consciousness and divine ecstasy coming from inside. You will find things like these in a normal kundalini awakening. All of them are symptoms of obstructions coming out, making way for a new life in unending ecstasy.
If symptoms become extreme and we cannot smooth them in pranayama and meditation, even by reducing times of practice, then more measures are necessary. These can also be considered by anyone doing spiritual practices for prevention of kundalini difficulties.
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gatito
United Kingdom
179 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2012 : 12:21:15 PM
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Thanks Shanti
I've glanced at #69 and I'll go back and read it properly now.
With Love |
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gatito
United Kingdom
179 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2012 : 1:39:23 PM
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Hi Shanti
This has jumped out of the page (Lesson 69) for me: -
quote:
The most important thing is to find a stable platform of daily practice that brings balance to the inner energies.........Finding this stable platform may involve doing some things outside your regular sitting practice as well.
Your own personal advice is also useful and is much appreciated
I'd stopped all sitting practice since attending a Buddhist satsang a week ago, when I took part in a short group mditation. I just used the mantra myself. It's a long time (decades) since I've meditated "properly/regularly" by myself, let-alone in a group. I had some unusual sensations around the head - like wearing a slightly prickly hat - not unpleasant but it has given me some concern, especially as it reappears from time to time - like now, as I type.
I think I'll back-off satsangs for a while and take the dog for longer walks. (That will make him very happy!!  )
I'll also give 5/10 SBP/DM a go and see what happens.
Thanks again. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2012 : 1:46:14 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by gatito
I think I'll back-off satsangs for a while and take the dog for longer walks. (That will make him very happy!! )
Staying away from satsangs for a bit is a great idea.
I can assure you, your dog will not be the only one happy after that long walk.
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gatito
United Kingdom
179 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2012 : 2:01:14 PM
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quote:
Staying away from satsangs for a bit is a great idea.
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2012 : 2:11:11 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by gatito
quote:
Staying away from satsangs for a bit is a great idea.
Not kidding BTW...
Satsangs... including places like this forum can be very bhakti igniting... and that can send people into overloads. I have self paced this forum at times... it can get a bit much.
During overloads, anything that ignites bhakti in us, spiritual book, music, satsangs, poetry, art, etc. can all send us into overload.
You are not that overloaded by what you say, so you may not have to go that overboard with self pacing... but it is something to keep in mind. |
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gatito
United Kingdom
179 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2012 : 2:50:19 PM
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No Shanti - I know you're not kidding.
I was laughing at myself.
I'm well aware of the effects of hanging-around on this forum and while I'm learning a lot from the process of contributing, it's also time for me to back-off here for a while - not just in "real"-world satsangs. Probably more so here, as it's grounding (for me) to have the actual interactions (as opposed to written).
I've been looking forward for many years to attending a Sufi turning ceremony but I'm seriously considering giving it a miss because I've heard that the ceremony is not just for the "dancers" but that they also serve humanity by bringing-down a lot of spiritual energy for the benefit of all mankind. If I go, I will certainly not be meditating!!
I've had brushes with kundalini in my past and I'm extremely wary of waking the dragon before we (she and I) are ready for the ride.
With Love |
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gatito
United Kingdom
179 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2012 : 6:18:18 PM
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PS Shanti
What might not have come across is that I'm extremely grateful for your concern and that you took the time to correct a possible serious misunderstanding on my part.
Thank you.
With Love
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2012 : 7:51:33 PM
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Thank you Gatito.
I loved that laughy face... I love smiles and laughs...
Sorry, I wasn't just commenting to you, see, in an open forum, I like to make things as clear as possible. If that laughy face was in an email, I would have laughed with you (and I did laugh with you).. But when it's an open forum, I try to err on the side of caution and clarity, since many people from many countries read the posts and may not get that we are not kidding... you know? Not personal at all.
Thanks for your posts.
I hope the walk helped.... happy dog and happy you?
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gatito
United Kingdom
179 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2012 : 8:58:11 PM
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Got it.
(And the dog and I are both happy. )
Thank you. |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2012 : 03:01:26 AM
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I don't know if I should feel jealous or relieved 3 years of meditation and SB and I can't think of a single thing that feels anything like these descriptions, or at least nothing that I have noticed. Mental changes for sure, but nothing physical whatsoever. I either have no blockages, or the blockages are so tough it will take an atomic bomb to shift them.
The most overload I get is feeling of being a bit crabby if I push the meditation and since I first learned to self pace and ground ( I walk 3 miles every day at least ) it hasn't been an issue.
I re read the chapter on under sensitive meditators and it didn't suggest anything. Up until now it has not really been a concern. Now im thinking I must have these weird energy movements. |
Edited by - karl on Feb 08 2012 03:02:20 AM |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2012 : 11:08:57 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by karl
I re read the chapter on under sensitive meditators and it didn't suggest anything. Up until now it has not really been a concern. Now im thinking I must have these weird energy movements.
You have a mind that takes it all in as normal... a blessing... you can keep going without becoming overly attached to anything. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2012 : 12:05:07 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by karl
I either have no blockages, or the blockages are so tough it will take an atomic bomb to shift them.
LOL. That warrants a laughy face.
On that note (energy blockages/purification and opening), I sometimes have exhilirating destructive images...like a field of lovely crystal glasses being shattered by the piercing sound of the mantra...or a massive glacier cracking. No atomic bombs yet, but I think there's been some dynamite blowing out the side of a mountain (a la an old Western movie with train robbers).
In the context of removing energy blockages, I think "destruction" can be a positive thing. (Still minding self-pacing, of course! ). |
Edited by - Bodhi Tree on Feb 08 2012 12:09:46 PM |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2012 : 2:03:28 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
quote:
Originally posted by karl
I re read the chapter on under sensitive meditators and it didn't suggest anything. Up until now it has not really been a concern. Now im thinking I must have these weird energy movements.
You have a mind that takes it all in as normal... a blessing... you can keep going without becoming overly attached to anything.
I'm weird like that
Righteo, if I can't have them I will just have to make some up. I did notice the other day I was shaking uncontrollaby and my eyes were watering copiously It could have been that I was stood on a hillside, trying to stare through a telescope at -10 degrees, but you never know , it could have been something. A cold, circulating energy, particularly in the foot, hand and ear lug chakras. Heck, nature, I just can't get enough of it. |
Edited by - karl on Feb 08 2012 2:05:14 PM |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2012 : 2:11:30 PM
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quote:
It could have been that I was stood on a hillside, trying to stare through a telescope at -10 degrees
That's called insanity... it is a kundalini symptom you know? Lots of people have gone insane with premature crown openings... so you better self pace the standing "on a hillside, trying to stare through a telescope at -10 degrees".  |
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Crown Opening? I hope not!
