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Yaming
Switzerland
112 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 12:35:58 AM
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Hi everyone,
it's been a while since I have been active on the forum. I decided that I want to share some of my experiences here since I have started ayp.
I have started at the beginning of february 2011 with DM. About 1 to 1.5 month in I added spinal breathing (5 spb, 15 min DM). Till then I did not feel any difference. But after like 2 to 3 months in I started to have moments of happiness. Well, the weird thing was that there was no reason for it.
Then I started to go crazy, I added too many practices in too a short amount of time. By the end of June I had to self pace on a large scale. I cut back to 10 min DM and 5 min SPB and afterwards to only 10 min. DM. For a month I was not able to increase the time of DM (I decided I wanted to increase DM before adding spinal breathing again) as soon as I did I would become a headache right in the meditation session. I now realized that it might be a good idea to try out solar centering, as the headaches could come frome locating the mantra somewhere in the head.
I could now start again increasing the time. I am up to 13 min DM. I will try out the solar centering for a while and see how that goes. And maybe add SPB in another month.
Some might wonder where the grounding was during this time. I am physically very active and train a lot. My food isn't following any special diet, I just realized that I eat a lot mroe green since doing spiritual practices and it keeps increasing. Also, I work every week in the garden. So grounding comes naturally in my daily life.
Oh and since my overload there were no happy moments anymore. The opposite I lost temper twice, which is a very very rare event. It was def. a sign for me that I had done way too much.
hope I can update you in a few months :)
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 08:40:53 AM
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Thank you Yaming.
Posts like this are very helpful. 
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Yaming
Switzerland
112 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 11:20:32 AM
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Thank you Shanti. :) Just giving back what I receive here at the forum.
Here is a very short update about the morning meditation I just did. I used solar centering and got a headache 5 min in. As adviced I put my intention on it and just watched it. It started to disappear and I started to repeat the mantra again. The headache returned right away at the same spot and didn't go away again. So I just sat there for the rest of the time focusing on my breathing.
This was just the second meditation session with solar centering so I have to try it for a little bit longer to really know what is going on. Either it is a major blockage that gets realeased or I am overloading and I'll back off the solar centering.
Oh and the headache is gone now, after some physical activity. So really no big deal. |
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AumNaturel
Canada
687 Posts |
Posted - Sep 04 2011 : 7:07:24 PM
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| I've been doing 20/20 usually 2x since around that time too and I too ran into a bit of head pressure, but it dissipated as soon as I added solar centering, at least for now. I've encountered a more severe form of head pressure-headache from standing qigong before, but after starting AYP it was nowhere nearly that bad. Whenever I can't do a full session, or have to skip one, it kind of keeps things in check for me from going overboard. At least I never got to that point yet as you have, though with all the fine tuning I can almost say, you put in 1 unit of effort and you get 1.2 units back in the form of feel good and refreshed, which is way more than I ever felt was possible in my other systems prior to AYP. |
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Yaming
Switzerland
112 Posts |
Posted - Sep 05 2011 : 11:59:03 PM
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So here a short update. The solar centering is going well, I had still some headaches at the first few sessions but now it started to disappear. Also I feel again more happy without any reason, so it seems I am getting back where I have left off.
I will keep up my practice with 12 min DM and most likely I will add up to 15 min after a while. Of course I would like to go back to SPB as soon as possible, but I think I better wait longer till I do that. :)
AumNaturel what have you been doing prior to ayp? |
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AumNaturel
Canada
687 Posts |
Posted - Sep 06 2011 : 09:58:46 AM
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| Good to hear headaches are improving. I've done silent sitting meditation, experimented with microcosmic orbit-cavity focus, small circulation, dantian focus, Bruce's mobile body awareness, and was about to try golden flower meditation based on semple as well as my interpretation of the texts. I've also done chen taijiquan and qigong for a few years, on and off, at a dojo. No matter how much or how little effort (or no effort) I put in, it would still aggravate some symptoms of depletion, and I've read, practiced, and experimented on variations almost endlessly. Meditation and now AYP are about the only things where I can actually feel some positive feedback in daily life and afterwards if I don't overdo them, and at this point, any little bit is nothing short of miraculous. |
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Yaming
Switzerland
112 Posts |
Posted - Sep 26 2011 : 12:32:38 AM
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Hi,
a few weeks have passed and I am still using the solar centering during my DM. I have no headaches in the morning session but I had headaches in the evening session. I figured out that the problem is a slight version of Kechari. I've this habit from my previous meditation where you touch the hard palet (somewhere in the middle, front) and I just took it over to AYP. If I remember to let my tongue not raise up I'm fine or I have minor headaches.
I will keep up the practice of 10 min DM with solar centering for another few weeks. I was thinking about trying to add 2 min of SPB and cut down DM to 8 min. Maybe I try it out in a week.
Oh and for the sake of a complete post, I am resting after DM a long time in the morning (30 min) and 5 min in the evening. I practice every day 2 a day, I rarely miss a session.
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Yaming
Switzerland
112 Posts |
Posted - Oct 23 2011 : 3:19:09 PM
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I found that adding spinal breathing really settled the practice. I do a few breath cycles of SPB and then go to DM with solar enhancement. It seems that this has been the best kombination so far. I normally tell myself to do 10 min. max and as long as it is good for me. Right now I'm pretty consistantly on 8 min. total.
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Yaming
Switzerland
112 Posts |
Posted - Nov 06 2011 : 12:14:03 AM
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Nevermind, Spinal Breathing didn't help. I still have head pressure/headache, even though I do the solar centering. What I do now, is switch to breath watching as soon as I get a headache. Most of the time those disappear and I can go back to the mantra and switc hagain if it reoccurs. Tried it today for the first time and felt really good. My practice time is somewehere between 5-10 min. I do 3 breaths SPB and then DM.
Also I noticed that I only have all this trouble in the evening sessions, never in the morning. Any thoughts why?
Yaming |
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JDH
USA
331 Posts |
Posted - Nov 06 2011 : 02:00:03 AM
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I'm the opposite. Morning sessions can feel forced, and evening sessions feel great. So I generally practice once in the afternoon, and once at night. Maybe you could do one when you wake up, and the second at midday/afternoon. I theorize it has to do with my work schedule, but who knows for sure.
Practice times drift around at various stages. You've got the right idea... maintaining twice a day practice at a comfortable amount, even if that's 5 minutes.
You've also got the right idea with backing off from the headaches. No reason to power through persistent pain in order to hammer out a blockage. Gradually and painlessly is the way to go. |
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chit-ananda51
India
127 Posts |
Posted - Nov 06 2011 : 02:27:58 AM
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Hi Yaming
I have experienced what is called 'building up of acute pressure' inside the head with Mantra chanting(other than AYP mantras). By any chance, do you mean that or you experience head ache per se?
If you refer to my old post http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=9426 where I have discussed in the latter part of the post on 'pressure inside head.'
I abstained from Yoga practices for a while (4-5 months)from Mar'11 till Autumn(Aug-Sep'11) and when I restarted the practices, they all fit together(atleast for the time-being). I will share some pointers which were lagging in my life - thought it might be of some help.
-> Check your climate (I found Winter climates helpful and naturally drawing inside). Hot climate made my breathing difficult.
-> Back support - how you sit and how it can be made more comfortable
-> Workplace/studies pressure can silently influence your mind . Sometimes forcing mantra or breath on a tired mind can trigger a head-ache. (Cold bath if you can afford  will give a refreshing signal to your body that you are ready to set time off for your soul development)
-> Attend to any immediate pressing needs before you sit for meditation.
-> Habits and obsessions - I was too obsessed with Astrology and reading spiritual literature - It took me a year to identify even that as something where I over-indulged.
-> Food habits
Everything is seasonal and cyclical.. so do not worry, if you have that desire for God daggling somewhere inside , it will bring you to the place where you left off but with obstructions dissolved naturally by that Silent Being.
This too will pass ! 
Love
Chitanandan |
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naplesward
USA
17 Posts |
Posted - Nov 06 2011 : 09:07:50 AM
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I have scaled my practice back to 10 min a day due to headaches. I am beginning to think this might be the wrong practice for me. Is a headache really obstructions coming out of the nervous system or could it be the wrong mantra for the individual?
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AumNaturel
Canada
687 Posts |
Posted - Nov 06 2011 : 09:34:32 AM
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chit-ananda51 has some good suggestions to try and manage in daily life. the workplace/studies point did indeed make me more prone to pressure-headaches until getting used to it.
I find jogging to prevent headaches before they happen, and make me immune to them if I do it regularly.
There is still the option to scale back even more for a time, or even going with breath meditation (which is recommended for those who are over-sensitive).
Still a lot of variables to consider and adjust. I wish you best of luck in working through this one way or another. |
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Yaming
Switzerland
112 Posts |
Posted - Nov 06 2011 : 2:40:20 PM
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Thanks a bunch for all the replies. :) I do my morning meditation at 6. I could do my afternoon meditation at 12. Don't know if that is too close, though. Otherwise I am busy till 7 pm, that's when I do the meditation normally.
I will play around with the suggestions and observe. For now I will try the mantra/breath watching combination and see how it goes. I think it is more a headache than head pressure. Normally it is in the front left.
In general, I still have progress even while encountering a headache. It was just a few days ago where I came out of meditation (evening) and I was really happy and energized for the rest of the evening. I stopped the meditation at 6 min because of a headache that session.
A few weeks ago I went through a pretty intense emotional imbalance. It is better now. I am not sure if it really was casued by the practice or by something else.
I am still very unsure what I want in life and I'm currently considering changing my career. Back then, few weeks ago, I was ready to just drop it and leave but of course I stayed. I'm not a person that lets itself drive by emotions only. Reason is a good tool to have. :)
But the doubts are still here. At least now I don't feel like wanting to leave in any minute. Unfortunately I haven't figured out how I can find a solution to my uncertainity yet. One way I really enjoy what I'm doing - I'm enrolled in a rigorous martial arts training program pretty isolated from society, and the duration of the program is stil several years before finishing it - On the other hand I lost the reason why I'm doing it. I'm really not a person that can just do something because it is fun. And as always I would have no idea what to do else if I quit here. But that is not really my worry because I know I will find my way eventually. My worry is more which intersection I should take right now. :)
If someone has advice on how they deal with such questions, I appreciate to read them. :)$
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Yaming
Switzerland
112 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2011 : 12:50:31 AM
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I have been doing DM for 5-10 min with the Mantra. As said I let go off the mantra as soon as I started to experience headaches. Normally the headaches disappear, but as soon as I pick up the mantra again they come back. Sometimes it seems that when I swtich to breath watching, I start to repeat the mantra at a very fuzzy level and when I notice it I start to have a headache again. I'm wondering if I might do something wrong in how I appraoch the mantra consciously.
Instead of just having the headaches in the evening session, I have them now also in the morning from time to time.
I have completly dropped SPB.
I am not sure if I should change completely to breath watching. I feel like I want to stick to the mantra but it keeps causing trouble. Maybe I should consider to use a mantra enhancement as suggested in one of the lessons of yogani. Maybe that would help. For now I will keep trying to work it through with the current method I'm applying. Maybe I will get over it.
In general there seem some slight improvements. I normally can spend longer time in meditation, closer to 10 than to 5 min. I guess I just keep going for a while. :)
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Yaming
Switzerland
112 Posts |
Posted - Dec 01 2011 : 11:46:31 PM
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I'm doing 10 min. DM now on a regular base. The overload seems to fade, finally. If I can keep up a stable practice for the next few months I might add SPB or Samyama, not sure yet which one.
DM:
The mantra starts right away at a "distant" place. It's quiet. Not like the hammering into my head I had at the beginning. Thoughts come and go sometimes i get lost sometimes I don't. It has become a very gentle practice of just easing back to the mantra as soon as I'm off without nay further thought about what I just did. I repeat the mantra at whatever speed comes and whatever length the mantra has (iamiamiam iiiiaaaaaaaaammmmiiiiiiaaaaaaaaam).
I feel centered while doing the solar enhancement. My mind now naturally goes there and it just feels good to be there.
Body:
I get a strong sensation at my third eye, sometimes during or after DM. It can be described as a pressure, just that I enjoy it.
I feel a pleasent feeling at the bottom of my spine, the bone that is kinda shaped like a triangle (sry my anatomy knoweldge sucks).
Emotions:
I feel more balanced and happy. Sometimes after my evening session I feel like an idiot because I smile and feel happy without a reason.
For a complete record: I have been involved in tantra before even starting ayp. It's pretty much normal to me to either block it or not come at all. The not ejaculating has come with ayp, as I used to only block. As for my life style I can not afford to ejaculate too much as it noticable weakens my physical body. However, I realized that releasing it from time to time is actually good for me, making me feel uhm refreshed. A balanced way of managing it seems the right approach.
My sexual experience has def. changed significantly since doing the blocking and especially since holding back.
That's about it for this post. |
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vijikr
United Arab Emirates
413 Posts |
Posted - Dec 02 2011 : 12:33:17 AM
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Great to hear about ur feedback and I am glad headache is gone and you are feeling lot better with solar plex concentrating.
Love n Light
Viji |
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Yaming
Switzerland
112 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2012 : 11:23:56 AM
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It's been quite a while since my last post and a lot has changed.
I had to quit AYP practice for a few months due to overload issues that I could not overcome. My whole living environement has also changed and I'm now back into normal society as before where I was in a monastary-kind of setting.
I'm back now to practice since some months (can't remember the exact date). I still have to self pace a lot. The easiest way to do so for me, is to practice only in public places. So I am normally meditating in the train or on the train station. This limits my time since I have to get out of the train or get on. My practice time is normally around 8 min. it includes SPB and DM with rest at the end. I also realized that I can not rest with eyes closed. Because then I just return back to the mantra. So I open my eyes and watch the scenery passing by (if I'm on a train).
Also in the morning I normally do SPB while I'm changing trains and a little more when I'm on the train then switch to DM. Everything put together it helps me greatly to prevent me from overdoing and hence overloading. I also think being in public places makes it a lil harder to go too deep which helps too. At the beginning I modified the AYP practice and started to feel my whole body when I was doing the mantra (I recalled that someone has tried that before here on teh forum. The diea for me was to get away from the headaches if I was able to keep the focus on the whole body). Now I returned back to the normal way where you just focus on the mantra and nothing else.
During the day I sometimes feel a pleasent pressure on my 3rd eye area and once it felt like it was pulsating.
There have been a lot of changes in my life and I feel like it is going into a better direction now. I hope I can continue the good work. For anyone who reads this: Perseverance, patience and intelligent practice seems to be the key to overcome any obstacle. Sure it might not be so satisfying if you can only practice a few min. but if you keep it up you will eventually overcome the overload and keep moving on. 8 min for me is already a huge improvement!
I was staying away from teh forum because it tends to inspire me to much and just gets me into the devils kitchen. ;)
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2012 : 5:04:11 PM
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Yaming, thanks for sharing Good job
Much power to you, and all the best |
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Yaming
Switzerland
112 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2012 : 10:19:28 AM
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I'm now on 10 min practice and I am back at home doing it. So I think I am steadily growing back into a solid practice. :) The only thing I have a hard time to judge is if I actually have progress. Sure my living situation has changed and with it many things but I don't get a sense of getting more inner silence or smth like that. Maybe because I always was more a calm guy. In the end I probably just look for the wrong signs. Unable to see the forest because of all the trees :p lol
Anyways thanks Yogani for your effort to share your knowledge! I would be still looking around to find smth that I can adapt to myself and that doesn't take hour after hour of still sitting if I wouldn't have found the ayp site. It is a great help you offered me (and hopefully all of us here).
I'll keep you guys up dated.
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2012 : 1:21:10 PM
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Hi Yaming,
Congrats on your continued practice! I am also on a 10 min practice, I don't find anymore to be sustainable without overload. I started AYP in 2009, becoming twice daily without fail in 2010.
By the way of 'noticeable effects', a lot of the time not much seemed to be happening. After about 6 months of practice, there was a period where much inner joy arose, and there was a great falling away of fear. No longer needing to control life so much.
More long periods of not much seeming to happen, as initial high subsided. Then for the past 6-12 months there was a great dropping away of ego, for me a sticking point in life had been enjoying the approval of others. The ego loved to make itself special, stand-out, be attractive, whatever.
There was a dropping away of this, and no wanting to be special anymore. Then in the past 5 months, the body/mind used to have a tendency of impulsively seeking pleasure. Even when the pleasurable behaviors had negative consequences in the long-run. This all dropped away.
A great deal of the time, not much seemed to be happening. Oh I feel a sort of calm after meditation, but not much to rave about. The odd bit of ecstatic experience occasionally, but not much. For whatever reason, fancy scenery and energy symptoms and all that stuff don't happen much for me. In fact, nothing much seems to happen in meditation other than repeating the mantra and wandering thoughts.
But slowly the relative self, the body/mind, was becoming more gentle, more kind, peaceful and rooted, loving, and increasingly ordinary, and content to be ordinary. Nothing flashy, if anything more simple, basic, ordinary. I can only really look back and see these changes in retrospect, as they happened slowly, subtly, over the years. There's still a long way to go for the selfish old relative self, but these sorts of improvements are welcome.
Then something started to happen in meditation, after pursuing some self-inquiry (rupert spira, adyashanti, greg goode, and to some extent 'liberation unleashed') that suddenly I realized, by direct experience, "I" was absolutely not this body/mind. It was just a group of perceptible objects arising in consciousness.
Then last Monday night, there was just a deep and powerful recognition of myself as the timeless, formless awareness in which all objects arise, unlimited by space or time, and absolutely not bound by the body of Josh J Anderson, which is merely a group of perceptions, and will at some point be cast off, or die. Not too worried about that anymore. On a physical level it felt like there was a ball of light-energy inserted into the brain of the relative self, and there was much ecstasy.
Lasted for about 5 hours and made it pretty difficult for the relative self to go to sleep. Won't ever forget it, but for now the experience has gone back to being "I am Josh J. Anderson", instead of "I am timeless, formless awareness, aware of and free from Josh J. Anderson". Just back to normal, regular experience, with the occasional bit of calm or ecstasy after meditation.
But I have faith, based on experience, that things are quietly happening in the background without my knowledge. And I continue to question everything I've ever believed about reality and truth.
So even if progress is hard to judge, I'd say keep it up! |
Edited by - mr_anderson on Jul 27 2012 1:30:35 PM |
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kevincann
USA
335 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2012 : 1:53:07 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by mr_anderson
Hi Yaming,
Congrats on your continued practice! I am also on a 10 min practice, I don't find anymore to be sustainable without overload. I started AYP in 2009, becoming twice daily without fail in 2010.
By the way of 'noticeable effects', a lot of the time not much seemed to be happening. After about 6 months of practice, there was a period where much inner joy arose, and there was a great falling away of fear. No longer needing to control life so much.
More long periods of not much seeming to happen, as initial high subsided. Then for the past 6-12 months there was a great dropping away of ego, for me a sticking point in life had been enjoying the approval of others. The ego loved to make itself special, stand-out, be attractive, whatever.
There was a dropping away of this, and no wanting to be special anymore. Then in the past 5 months, the body/mind used to have a tendency of impulsively seeking pleasure. Even when the pleasurable behaviors had negative consequences in the long-run. This all dropped away.
A great deal of the time, not much seemed to be happening. Oh I feel a sort of calm after meditation, but not much to rave about. The odd bit of ecstatic experience occasionally, but not much. For whatever reason, fancy scenery and energy symptoms and all that stuff don't happen much for me. In fact, nothing much seems to happen in meditation other than repeating the mantra and wandering thoughts.
But slowly the relative self, the body/mind, was becoming more gentle, more kind, peaceful and rooted, loving, and increasingly ordinary, and content to be ordinary. Nothing flashy, if anything more simple, basic, ordinary. I can only really look back and see these changes in retrospect, as they happened slowly, subtly, over the years. There's still a long way to go for the selfish old relative self, but these sorts of improvements are welcome.
Then something started to happen in meditation, after pursuing some self-inquiry (rupert spira, adyashanti, greg goode, and to some extent 'liberation unleashed') that suddenly I realized, by direct experience, "I" was absolutely not this body/mind. It was just a group of perceptible objects arising in consciousness.
Then last Monday night, there was just a deep and powerful recognition of myself as the timeless, formless awareness in which all objects arise, unlimited by space or time, and absolutely not bound by the body of Josh J Anderson, which is merely a group of perceptions, and will at some point be cast off, or die. Not too worried about that anymore. On a physical level it felt like there was a ball of light-energy inserted into the brain of the relative self, and there was much ecstasy.
Lasted for about 5 hours and made it pretty difficult for the relative self to go to sleep. Won't ever forget it, but for now the experience has gone back to being "I am Josh J. Anderson", instead of "I am timeless, formless awareness, aware of and free from Josh J. Anderson". Just back to normal, regular experience, with the occasional bit of calm or ecstasy after meditation.
But I have faith, based on experience, that things are quietly happening in the background without my knowledge. And I continue to question everything I've ever believed about reality and truth.
So even if progress is hard to judge, I'd say keep it up!
Thank you for sharing.
You are bringing to light a very important point recently Josh.
Yes, 'we' as in our meat bodies and mental tendencies are just
sensory objects not to be confused with our true nature.
For a long time we may go stumbling around, always ensuring we
are in this state of 'disconnection' from the 'unreal'.
But this kind of behavior, to be obsessed with stillness, is in fact
a sensory object too! A subtle trap.
Just as later when Kundalni (ecstatic conductivity) arises, it is
a trap too!
Silence junky = bad.
Ecstatic Conductivity junky = bad.
Bliss junky = bad.
After the fireworks are all over, the real task of spiritual life,
is to be just Josh, just Kevin, without ANY of the pretty lights
or silences.
That doesn't mean all this stuff isn't working under the hood;
it most certainly is. And continuing practice is good.. it's
like doing a colon flush. Don't want to get constipated now
do we?
The end goal of spiritual practice is not to become some wacky
being of energies.
It is to be free of even needing freedom.
Then loving the world.
Love,
Kev |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2012 : 2:02:17 PM
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thx for sharing Yaming and Mr Anderson....same over here no practices for now (maybe for ever  ) because i am easily overloading
Love
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Yaming
Switzerland
112 Posts |
Posted - Aug 14 2012 : 3:30:09 PM
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Hi guys,
thanks for your posts :)
of course I am keeping the practice up. I just thought that in AYP you check the progress not in how the daily sitting is going but how you feel in everyday life. Since I am not really feeling like much is changing I was wondering how I can see/know that I am on my way and that I am doing the right amount of practice.
I just thought since I easily overload there must be smth going on at some level. Otherwise there wouldn't be really a reaction at all to the practice. I'll just keep it up.
But honestly after reading the secrets of wilder I expected more to happen :p lol Maybe in 10 or 20 years :p
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elgadaniel
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - Nov 03 2012 : 01:31:49 AM
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…Hi everybody,
There are so many people who overload………..It doesn't seem to matter which practice one adheres to….
We all have to be so so careful all the time……..It is frustrating…..
Surely there must be a practice which purifies in a balanced fashion, purifies without causing dysfunction or stimulating the higher centers.
A practice which opens only the root thru the heart?
If anybody every discovers this, please let me know.
warm regards,
Daniel
Perhaps a practice that goes strictly downwards?…………Or where we concentrate on the front channel only? |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Nov 03 2012 : 10:24:08 AM
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| Just do meditation and nothing else. Very unlikely to overload, but if you do, only do grounding and nothing else. It's simple. |
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