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wisya
United Kingdom
27 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 15 2011 : 1:27:56 PM
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Hi folks. Last year BBC TV here in the UK broadcast a documentary about a group of 5 volunteers who were taken to a spiritual retreat to see if it would have any effect on them. All they had to do was not talk for 8 days. The results were incredible. They all pretty much went off the deep end to say the least. They showed all the signs that we get without the much spoken about self pacing. They didn't do this through meditation but by just trying to keep quiet. I'm happy to say that someone has put the whole programme up on YouTube in 12 parts. I promise you that you will find it compelling. I'll put the link at the bottom of this posting. If these people only had a little AYP knowledge going in, they would have had a much smoother time of it. They use different words but they are explaining a lot of what we practice.
One reason that I personally found it compelling is that one of the people, a guy named John, went through exactly what I'm going through in one respect that you'll see at the end of the programme. If anyone can please advise me on this I will be forever grateful.
OK; a little background on myself. I currently run three businesses to a varying degree of success. I've always been interested in eastern philosophy for as long as I can remember. I used to 'meditate' years ago and have been present at a number of guided meditations. Up until Christmas I hadn't done anything for years.
For the last 5 years I have not really been having a good time. The businesses have not been running well and worse still my relationship with my wife has seemed to have as good as died. It is difficult to continue goal setting and pushing forward when deep down you feel it could all be a waste of time. The last 18months have been especially hard financially and relationship wise. My life had become 'ground hog day' with no clear goal or direction. Just before Christmas, I was probably the lowest I have ever been in my entire life.
Then something very strange happened. In my business I am in the role of a tutor and I met two very interesting people a few weeks apart. An instant bond formed with these two, and they have become dear friends. The first one turned out to be a spiritual leader who runs seminars all over the world and is very successful in this field and very well regarded. The second chap I met turned out to be a Kriyaban. To say I found these two interesting was an understatement. When the student is ready the teacher will appear I hear you all shout
One day just before Christmas, my new Kriyaban friend paid me a visit. During conversation he told me what a wonderful life I seemed to have. I figured I knew him well enough at this point so I told him the way things really were. He was stunned. A few days later he rang and told me that I had troubled him greatly and if I would let him, wanted to help me. I obviously jumped at the chance.
Next day he arrived at my house with a load of books and DVD's to watch in a certain order. I told him I never had time for books (funny that now since I've read 30 I can think of since Jan!). First was the DVD The Secret, next the DVD What The Bleep, then the book The Power and finally a small book on meditation. He also gave me a Yoga Nidra MP3 to play at bedtime. OK, what the hell I thought so gave it a try.
The Secret I found interesting but was it yet another self help glossy bullsh*t type hype that I've wasted so much time on in the past? There was something that stuck a chord within me so I continued. What The Bleep blew me away to the point that I went out and bought the whole 16hour rabbit hole version and got stuck into it.
One afternoon I was on my own lying down on the sofa half way through the book, The Power. As I was reading, things it said began to resonate within me more and more. Then I came to a part that explained that you get back what you put out. I thought to myself maybe this explained the concept of karma. Then it happened...
I will try to explain this in words but it will be difficult. I suddenly felt very warm and surge of energy flashed through my body. One of those adrenaline rush type things where all your hair stands on end. I felt bigger than I actually was and shockwave exploded outwards, me at the center of this slightly visually distorted bubble that expanded outwards equally in every direction very quickly. It seemed to take half a second to cross the room and vanish through the walls. It seemed like this shockwave 'bubble' then collapsed back to me and hit me very hard with emotion of the like I never knew was possible never mind experienced before. It lasted for less than 5mins but it was totally life changing. I understood everything, I was emerged in total peace and bliss. The feeling of love was overwhelming. I instantly realised that there is no death. I knew that everything was going to be alright. Everything had always been alright. Everything would always be alright. Bliss is the only word I can use to explain this but imagine the most bliss you have every experienced and multiple it by a million and you still wouldn't be close. The love was overwhelming. It was all around me and in me; I dissolved into it. I think this lasted 5mins but I don't really know. I became aware that time didn't exist and I've always been here and always will be.
I could keep writing for an hour trying to explain this but I think you all get the idea by now.
After a while, the intense feeling slowly faded away and I got up to make a cup of tea (typical British response to shock). Whilst the kettle boiled I wondered what the hell had just happened. The feeling had gone but I wasn't the same. I believe I experienced samadi or at least a total collapse of the ego. It changed me for weeks. Very few people I could tell this story to, but everyone knew something had happened for they kept asking what was different about me. When I met my friend the spiritual guide, he looked at me and grinned and asked if I was OK. He knew. He told me later that the give away was that not only did I look younger but also looked like I'd lost weight which I hadn't. It took me 3months to tell my wife. She asked me if there was a god. I said yes. She cried. Not bad that, for an atheist I thought...
The only people that would ever understand this are people who have been to the same place. For weeks after, my ego disappeared and the beauty of nature would make my cry uncontrollably. People kept asking what had happened to me as I still appeared to be totally different. I was such a better and more relaxed person. Relaxed don't come close to describing this. At one point I simply thought I was having a nervous breakdown but then realised that nervous breakdowns just don't make you feel this good. Since then, I've slowly sunken back close to where I used to be. But with changes. I have a powerful urge to meditate and have done so every morning at 4 to 5 since. I now practice yoga through this wonderful AYP's and have been trying to get back ever since. I did start on the road to Kriya (but the organised, commercial side of this and other systems naturally repulsed me), then had a dabble with Zazen then finally landed here.
The businesses are going down in flames because of the neglect following the spiritual path. When I should be working I end up on YouTube; I've done it again today. How do I get back to the real world and my businesses. I am losing money so fast that soon I won't be able to feed my family. I am stuck between two worlds. HELP!
I wanted to share this with you people; you are almost the only people I can. I am so glad I found this community.
Thankyou Yogani
The YouTube link to the documentary is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_zDtdYu3mA
Wisya |
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faileforever
USA
190 Posts |
Posted - Jun 15 2011 : 1:56:45 PM
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Hello wisya
I just wanted to wish you a very warm welcome and thank you for sharing your amazing story! |
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BuddhiHermit
United Kingdom
84 Posts |
Posted - Jun 15 2011 : 6:32:39 PM
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Congratulations wisya,
A Satori, or a Samadhi - Just a taster for the main course.
You will be tempted to get there again quickly, but that doesn't seem to happen.
A dedicated normal life with meditation is what will get you there.
You seemed to have a resonance with "What you put in, you get back"
Yes, that's Karma, but Karma also refers to work - activity.
When you put meditation, heart, sincerity, into your work, it comes back.
Work itself, is a path, and it feeds the family - Just as nature intended.
Try to enrich your work and your clients/customers and see how that goes ...
Namaste
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Jun 15 2011 : 6:57:29 PM
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Hello Wisya,
I am glad you are here, and the light of your story is really amazing. Thanks for sharing.
You will be fine At one point when I posted a topic here, someone said to me: "You are in God's hands now".
The same to you
Namaste |
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whippoorwill
USA
450 Posts |
Posted - Jun 15 2011 : 7:27:27 PM
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What an incredible experience! Thanks so much for sharing it! I agree with both Yonatan and BuddiHermit. You're in God's hands now. Whatever happens to you, you will be fine.
Somehow let it all go, and make yourself fine! Let go of the longing. Channel that incredible energy into your family and your work. The love and devotion you show them will come back to you.
I have my own tiny business, and I work from home. It's sometimes hard to concentrate on the task at hand, so I set hours for myself. And I promise myself that I'll do whatever it is that I want to do at a certain time. It usually works. 
much love,
--Liz |
Edited by - whippoorwill on Jun 15 2011 10:16:24 PM |
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kevincann
USA
335 Posts |
Posted - Jun 15 2011 : 11:09:51 PM
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First off, let me share a moment of empathy with you.. those first "High experiences" are indeed incredible. Some can be so strong, that they shipwreck your entire life, as you attempt to cling to the experience. But those kind of experiences cannot be clung to. We wind up exhausting ourselves, trying to regain them.
But.
Highs, lows, and in-betweens are all identical.. they are scenery.. they are not something to be attained or purposely revisited. If such things happen--fine. If your left arm falls off--fine.
When the inner silence rises, the burdens of clinging to any results whatsoever fades away. If you become a trillionaire--fine; if you never touch a penny again--fine; if you become enlightened like Buddha fine--if you live a normal family life and unlearn some suffering--fine.
It is not for us to control the events in the world. It is not for us to be 'spiritual'. It is for us to unlearn the attitudes and behaviors that keep us prisoner in a bad dream--that we are separate beings that suffer.
But we don't despise ourselves either.. we can become like little children, joyous and free of all lying.. all the while doing what we must do in this world.. go to work to feed our families.. or whatever our responsibilities.
To live a normal life, yet to become free and joyous.. without going off the deep-end.. without chasing a drug-trip of spirituality.. letting the sun shine and the rain fall..this is called the "way of the householder" and is a very noble and wise path to take.
Nothing can teach us unconditional love faster, than to take care of our families, and do our normal work.. while false fireworks tempt us to run away to never never land.. and we ignore the fireworks.. gaining in silence, peace and true knowledge of who we really are.
Well.. you did ask for help with your attitude that was driving you into financial ruin.. so that was my advice.. live a normal life, but also do your AYP!
Love,
Kev |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Jun 15 2011 : 11:26:18 PM
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Just finished watching the documentary, thank you very much for that. Amazing
The change in John was really amazing, how he went from completely busy inside to a kind of contentness. All of them seemed like they benifitted imensely.
Yeah I really liked that, thanks... |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Jun 16 2011 : 01:40:34 AM
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"After a while, the intense feeling slowly faded away and I got up to make a cup of tea (typical British response to shock)." ...LOLLL
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such a nice experience...i am sure the Self will take good care of you |
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jenniferad
47 Posts |
Posted - Jun 16 2011 : 10:18:05 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by wisya
The businesses are going down in flames because of the neglect following the spiritual path. When I should be working I end up on YouTube; I've done it again today. How do I get back to the real world and my businesses. I am losing money so fast that soon I won't be able to feed my family. I am stuck between two worlds. HELP!
I wanted to share this with you people; you are almost the only people I can. I am so glad I found this community.
Thankyou Yogani
I had many similar experiences a few years ago. I also had problems at times taking care of day to day activities. What got me through it was following a practice that grounded and balanced my energies. For me, it was dancing to rock music that I could get totally and utterly lost in. But for you it seems to be AYP, which is great! I didn't know about AYP at the time. You might find exercise also helps.
I let go of all my ideas about what I "should" be doing and following my desires and it led to balance.
Best wishes to you, wisya.
Jennifer |
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Chiron
Russia
397 Posts |
Posted - Jun 16 2011 : 11:27:11 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by wisya
All they had to do was not talk for 8 days. The results were incredible. They all pretty much went off the deep end to say the least. They showed all the signs that we get without the much spoken about self pacing. They didn't do this through meditation but by just trying to keep quiet.
That's because when we talk we spend energy. When we keep silent, the energy can be used for other means, ie. inner purification and development..
This phenomenon can be really felt after a good retreat when talking becomes as hard as if one is lifting weights.
On the flipside.. mantras can be quite energizing too.. |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Jun 17 2011 : 04:16:03 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by wisya
I am stuck between two worlds. HELP!
For some people, just one world is more than enough. You are stuck in two worlds.
Do you know how parrots are caught in the jungles?
A rope is tied across two supports. The moment a parrot comes and sits on the rope, he immediately hangs upside down because the rope has turned due to his weight. Now the parrot feels that he is caught. The upside-down hanging parrot feels that he is caught, badly caught, his feet are entangled, now there is no way to get away. It is the parrot who is clutching the rope tightly, the rope is not holding him at all. But what the parrot feels also appears logical, "The rope which has turned me upside down, it has caught me, it must be holding me!"
So the parrot stays hanging. He tries in all possible ways to straighten himself up so he can fly away, but he is unable to manage to do that because the rope is very light compared to the weight of the parrot -- so no matter how much he tries, he always swings back to his upside-down position. Thus, the more he tries, the more convinced he becomes that there simply is no way of release.
If the parrot could understand, it could undo its grip and fly away the same moment. But it tries first to sit upright. Even if it leaves the grip in its upside-down position it can fly away because the rope has not caught it. But the parrot has never flown in an upside-down position; whenever it has flown it has been standing upright. It knows only one way of flying.
How is the parrot hanging upside down to understand that it can also fly here and now, and that it is not caught at all? But because it is hanging upside down it fears that if it leaves the rope it will fall on the ground and die. So it clutches the rope tightly. And howsoever late its catcher may come, he will find the parrot hanging there.
Man's consciousness is more or less in the same situation. Nobody has caught you. Who is interested in catching you? This world has no interest in holding you. What could be the purpose, what would the world achieve through holding you? No, nobody is interested in catching hold of you. You have caught yourself. But there are some illusions which give you the idea that you are caught by others.
The greatest illusion is that you think yourself to be so valuable that the whole world is interested in catching you. This is egoistic to feel that all the miseries are rushing towards you only; that so many miseries pay so much attention to you; that all the hells are created just for you! They are all just for you, and you are sitting in the center. As if this whole cosmic arrangement goes on running just for you -- and you are nothing but a parrot hanging upside down on a rope!
Let Go and Fly.
Heartbeat of the Absolute - Osho
http://balbro.com/heart/beat5.htm
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wisya
United Kingdom
27 Posts |
Posted - Jun 18 2011 : 09:25:19 AM
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Thanks for all your wonderful replies and advice. There are some real gems in there. If only the worlds governments could run like AYP. The earth would be a very peaceful place indeed.
I've just found an excellent piece of advice concerning my problems on swamij site. There seems to be a lot of good advice there. Is it a recommended site for resources. I ask because I don't want to learn anything in conflict to AYP as I believe I've found what I've been looking for in this site and its amazing membership.
The link to the info is below. Makes good reading.
http://www.swamij.com/centripetal-centrifugal.htm
Wisya |
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Kahlia
161 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2011 : 07:28:46 AM
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When you realise that your business IS part of your spiritual path then to nuture and look after it is part of your practice. So many reevulate their chosen employment or profession after an awakening or stay but decide things must be done differently now.
Do not separate the worlds..they are not separate. To neglect one is to neglect the other.  |
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senthil
India
25 Posts |
Posted - Jul 08 2011 : 2:08:00 PM
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Wisya, thanks for sharing.
I am in a similar position where work does not interest/inspire me anymore....feel very lethargic and disinterested at work ... May be its a phase or may be not. But ploughing through it for now.
Manigma, wonderful story... i am still par(rot)anoid here |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Jul 08 2011 : 2:48:20 PM
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since when office work was supposed to be fun?
mine is a mad house |
Edited by - maheswari on Jul 08 2011 3:49:42 PM |
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senthil
India
25 Posts |
Posted - Aug 09 2011 : 10:17:31 AM
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| It was fun for first few years and after that it was just a chore motivated by ego and money. Now, i am finding it very difficult to focus on work |
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vijikr
United Arab Emirates
413 Posts |
Posted - Aug 09 2011 : 11:27:11 AM
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Hi wisy thats awesome experience as said by all you are in God's own hands..reading your description made me remember the geetasar.here it is for those who dont know about it.
Here is the Geeta Saar..
Whatever happened, it happened for good.
Whatever is happening is happening for good.
Whatever that will happen, it will be for good.
What have you lost for which you cry?
What did you bring with you, which you have lost?
What did you produce, which has destroyed?
You did not bring anything when you were born.
Whatever you have, you have received from Him.
Whatever you will give, you will give to Him.
You came empty handed and
you will go the same way.
Whatever is yours today was somebody else’s yesterday and will be somebody else’s tomorrow.
Change is the law of the universe |
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Amazing
