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jenniferad
47 Posts |
 Posted - May 25 2011 : 11:29:02 AM
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Hello,
I am very grateful to have been introduced to this site a few weeks ago.
In the years of 2005 and 2006 I had intense awakening experiences. I was introduced to a swami from India, and the results of my interactions with him were not good, to say the least. I also went to swamis of the Vedanta Society here in the US, and again I ended up in a worse state than when I originally began with my questions.
I was looking for, and entirely expected, to find masters, and yogis, who could treat me with respect and give me basic, direct information. I expected what I found here at AYP. Too bad it took me 6 years to find it. 
But it's all ok. It simply happened that I did reach what I was looking for, and the process I was undergoing did come to fruition, but it was in spite of my interactions with these teachers from India.
In the years since then, I have lived my life from a completely shifted identity. I live from the awareness that all of this is consciousness, and all "my" experiences are simply arising and passing away.
However, there are places where I still need balance and integration, and the tools and practices here are wonderful. I have only been trying them for a few days, and I can see the power. Many of the experiences described I have discovered for myself, but I didn't know the name for them, and I didn't know what to do with them in order to ground them and build on them. I have just been doing what came naturally to me, and living life.
One thing that has been missing in my life is a community of people who I would feel "at home" with. I have many nice friends, but only a couple who can know me deeply, because to know me deeply they really need the depth of experience that is natural to me. Otherwise I am with them as Jennifer only, the outer expression and appearance of me as a person, and I know that is just the surface of what I am. It is rather tiring to only be seen and related to as Jennifer. I have wanted to find people who know who I am, because they know who they are! I think I may have found the people I knew were out there somewhere.
My specific question right now is regarding pranayama. I have meditated for years, and entering into deep meditation as instructed by AYP comes naturally and is a wonderful thing. I have reached the lesson on pranayama, and this morning I tried it. However, it wasn't such an easy process for me.
My body has its own way of moving. For about 15 years or so I have experienced what AYP calls automatic yoga. My body moves on its own. My practice for the last 6 years has been dancing, and I just let my body move, mostly to the music of the Rolling Stones. I have experienced all kinds of flows of energy up through my spine and have had lots and lots of ecstasy and bliss.
When I try to intentionally practice pranayama, my body takes over. My inhalations and exhalations happen on their own. I have a hard time imagining a tiny tube or tiny nerve, because I feel a huge flow of energy. I have a hard time imagining the flow back down to my perineum with an exhalation, because it is still moving up when my body exhales. It is like my body knows what to do, and I am trying to superimpose the instructions over it. How do I merge the two? Any suggestions? Maybe I should just not intentionally do pranayama right now and wait until I have practiced DM for a while longer?
Thank you very much.
Jennifer
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2011 : 9:13:37 PM
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Hi Jennifer
Welcome to AYP. You have learned a lot in only a few days reading the AYP Main Lessons and putting them into practice.
About Spinal Breathing Pranayama: The lesson presumes that the reader has not yet awakened the intense flow of pranic energy we call Kundalini. Yogani concludes the lesson saying, "Once we have stabilized the practices we have learned so far, we will be ready to begin gently awakening the huge storehouse of prana near the base of our spine." Since your "storehouse of prana" is already awakened, you of course need to do some adapting. There may be a lesson that addresses your situation, but I am not aware of it.
Like you, when I found AYP, my prana was already awakened, and like you I was doing "automatic yoga." Like you I was enjoying the automatic yoga. My tendency was to let the automatic flow happen and not concern myself with willful practices beyond twice daily meditation. Over time, I have come to greatly appreciate where the practice of SBP leads, and I am glad I have become skillful in the discipline.
My suggestions are as follows. Keep reading and rereading the AYP lessons as you also become stable in the DM practice. Rereading is important because you see things later that you miss the first time.
You have only been doing AYP DM for a few days, and you have just started SBP. Keep trying the visualization techniques according to the lesson. Do so gently and without judgment about the flow of energy.
Thanks for sharing.
Enjoy!
Be |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2011 : 10:23:19 PM
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Hi jennifer, welcome to the forum!
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jenniferad
47 Posts |
Posted - May 26 2011 : 12:22:14 AM
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Thank you bewell and Anthem11.
Bewell, your advice is very good for me. My pranayama went much better for my second try. I can see it is very good to read the lessons carefully, and then reread them. I am glad you posted and now I know there are others who started this practice with already awakened energy...thank you again.
Jennifer
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cosmic
USA
821 Posts |
Posted - May 26 2011 : 02:10:31 AM
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Hello and welcome, Jennifer
It's wonderful to read your story. Thank you for taking the time to share it.
In addition to what Be suggested, something you might want to try: Trace the spinal nerve up/down (root to brow) with your attention, but without trying to visualizing it. Moving your attention through the route is good enough.
If automatic movements are too distracting for you to focus on SBP, you can stop or try at a later time. But I wouldn't take movements in and of themselves as a sign to stop. I get them every session now, but it's not too extreme.
Best wishes to you!
Love
cosmic |
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HathaTeacher
Sweden
382 Posts |
Posted - May 26 2011 : 12:31:34 PM
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Welcome Jennifer, and thank you for sharing !
I've pranayama difficulties immediately after intense physical activity, so I pay attention to sequencing. A pranayama preparatory that works fine on my body and mind ís alternate nostril breathing (Surya Bhedana, Anuloma Viloma), first a few pairs without retention, and then with retention (length of inhalation+retention = length of exhalation, to make it more calming). Then the rest of the pranayamas are quite smooth, as body-breath-mind are already aligned.
Asana immediately before pranayama requires caution and common sense in self-pacing (I remember exhausting asana classes by an excellent teacher from India, but we performed Pranayamas with external retention/Bahya Kumbhaka immediately after, which is a killer ). |
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jenniferad
47 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2011 : 12:13:53 AM
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| Thank you cosmic and HathaTeacher. I am so grateful to yogani for giving this information. Thank you. And thank you to everyone who is on this forum. Thank you. |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2011 : 5:05:42 PM
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Hi, Jennifer!
Nice sharing. I also came to AYP with a more wild and unregulated kundalini. You seem more stable than I was, after your many years of practice, but still, I'd suggest you read carefully about self-pacing! Energies in all honour, but they may whack you out of balance. AYP practices and particularly pranayama can easily build up to boil over! Enjoy and take it easy! |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4429 Posts |
Posted - May 29 2011 : 6:32:15 PM
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Hi Jennifer and all,
As far as I am aware, there is no modification made to the spinal breathing practice once kundalini is awakened. It is the same practice as before, only with more energy moving around. If you are exhaling during SBP, then bring the attention down the spine, tracing the spinal nerve, regardless of what energy movements are happening in the body. The energy movements can be distracting, and this can make settling in to the practice a bit more difficult at first than it might be for someone else, but it is not impossible. After a while you learn not to be distracted by (or servant to) any energy movements. Gradually (over weeks and months), the energy becomes more refined and less inclined to be a distraction.
Christi |
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jenniferad
47 Posts |
Posted - May 29 2011 : 11:56:23 PM
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Thank you emc and Christi. After I originally posted, my spinal breathing became much easier and the practice is going very well for me now. From the second try onward, my mind has been able to be at one with the process in my body. I actually experience the breath going up my spine and through my entire body and it is quite wonderful. Thank you for your advice, I do appreciate it very much.
Jennifer |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - May 30 2011 : 11:08:30 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by jenniferad
I actually experience the breath going up my spine and through my entire body and it is quite wonderful.
Hi Jennifer,
Thanks for the report! I'm glad your SBP practice is going so well. The responsiveness of your inner energy to your attention and your sense of wonder about it reminds me of my experience. For me, that really help with motivation to be regular with practices.
Be |
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jenniferad
47 Posts |
Posted - Jun 01 2011 : 10:06:54 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by bewell
quote:
Originally posted by jenniferad
I actually experience the breath going up my spine and through my entire body and it is quite wonderful.
Hi Jennifer,
Thanks for the report! I'm glad your SBP practice is going so well. The responsiveness of your inner energy to your attention and your sense of wonder about it reminds me of my experience. For me, that really help with motivation to be regular with practices.
Be
I'm glad it is going well too. I have no problem being motivated to do spinal breathing or deep meditation. It is having a profound effect on my experience in daily life. I feel life more intensely, and I am more peaceful in the situations where I have had challenges remaining peaceful, like when there are a lot of things going on at once, and I am in a hurry. The practice is having a very good effect on my nervous system, so it affects how I react, how I perceive, how I feel, everything. I am very grateful.
Jennifer |
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Starting AYP after kundalini awakening
