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Ananda
3115 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 10:18:01 AM
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Someone gave me two situations in which she found it difficult to be aware. She was in a service industry where many people were lined up, many phones were ringing, and she was alone and there were distractions coming from a lot of uptight, angry people. She found it extremely difficult to maintain serenity and calm. The other situation was when she was driving in traffic, with horns blowing and people shouting four-letter words. She asked me whether eventually that nervousness would dissipate and she could remain at peace.
Did you pick up the attachment there? Peace. Her attachment to peace and calm. She was saying, “Unless I’m peaceful, I won’t be happy.” Did it ever occur to you that you could be happy in tension? Before enlightenment, I used to be depressed; after enlightenment, I continue to be depressed. You don’t make a goal out of relaxation and sensitivity. Have you ever heard of people who get tense trying to relax? If one is tense, one simply observes one’s tension. You will never understand yourself if you seek to change yourself. The harder you try to change yourself, the worse it gets. You are called upon to be aware. Get the feel of that jangling telephone; get the feel of jarred nerves; get the sensation of the steering wheel in the car. In other words, come to reality, and let tension or the calmness take care of itself. As a matter of fact, you will have to let them take care of themselves because you’ll be too preoccupied with getting in touch with reality. Step by step, let whatever happens happen. Real change will come when it is brought about, not by your ego, but by reality. Awareness releases reality to change you.
From the book Awareness by Anthony De Mello:
http://www.awareness.tk/images/Awareness.pdf |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 10:21:35 AM
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quote:
Awareness releases reality to change you.
Namaste
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 2:03:49 PM
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THANK YOU!!!
quote:
“Unless I’m peaceful, I won’t be happy.” Did it ever occur to you that you could be happy in tension? Before enlightenment, I used to be depressed; after enlightenment, I continue to be depressed. You don’t make a goal out of relaxation and sensitivity.
Absolutely soft music to my ears! I have recently come to realize more and more that it's absolutely futile to even hope for a less negative and depressed mind or less tensions. I have started to accept that's what I've been given as a companion. Acceptance always brings great Joy here! Living the paradox of being joyfully depressed! 
I have also recently experienced how a fixation or attachment to peace can be absolutely devastating. Those only seeking light, bliss and peace must pay a price - to suppress the shadows and blind spots and dark sides. And life will have it bubble up in relationships, with partner, at work, and elsewhere. A common reaction is then to project and blame the "other" for being dark and withdraw/escape into the light where the bliss is found again, leaving undealed business behind. It can continue like that for a very long time.
Thank you so much for the beautiful quote! Anthony rules! |
Edited by - emc on Apr 07 2011 2:13:01 PM |
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nodoubt
India
90 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 2:48:10 PM
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| This is good. The elements of the body and mind are a primordial nirvana. Yet, they never stop moving. The fruit of the path is seeing how this is so. Commotion is a great peace, and in it magnificently popping up love and benefit. |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 6:12:50 PM
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Welcome to you both
Thank you for writing and sharing your personal experiences dear emc, and yes this is it
As for the part about relationships it's so true... Because we are escaping from our own self, cause when we wait and see and let all the thoughts and feelings rise we will realize that we are wrong; That our judgment about the other person was wrong it's our fault and people escape from that to bliss/ecstasy whatever to have a temporal cure... Waking up is painful!
Sorry about blabbering so much but this is also inspired by Anthony so it's good to mention it here I guess.
Love,
Ananda |
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wakeupneo
USA
171 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 7:23:58 PM
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This thread really resonates. Having gone through phases of intense meditation and retreat I would get to a place where my sensitivity was high and I was perfect peace. Would walk around in wonder thinking "I've arrived!"
Wasn't long until i became attached to this state and it's almost like i was fighting the world to maintain this state. I would notice that integrating with others being "in the world" would "taint" this pure abidance. It wasn't long that i would get frustrated, damn the world, and withdrawl once again. Only to regain again, only to loose again. This game can be very existentially painful for anyone who has been through it.
For me it went on for years and on some level it still does...
I'd like to share this story from Zen that hit home when I read it a few months back...
One day the Master announced that a young monk had reached an advanced state of enlightment. The news caused some stir. Some of the monks went to see the young monk. "We heard you are enlightened. Is that true?" they asked.
"It is," he replied.
"And how do you feel?"
"As miserable as ever," said the monk.
hehehe.... Is there anything more ordinary and overrated then awakening/enlightenment?
j |
Edited by - wakeupneo on Apr 07 2011 7:34:23 PM |
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faileforever
USA
190 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 7:41:25 PM
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| Hah! I love that story wakeupneo. Thanks for sharing |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 8:31:10 PM
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Yes I have lots of situations like the person in the service industry. If I forget to meditate for a couple days it will really bother me, and it reminds me to meditate.
But if I am meditating regularly, I am able to concentrate on my work so I am not bothered by the chaos. It creates a shield around me. The chaos is still there, but my concentration is more intense. I think it is easier for me to not be attached because I love my work. It gives me an exhilarating feeling of being like a warrior, able to concentrate while being surrounded by chaos. It is a skill in addition to your regular job. |
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nodoubt
India
90 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2011 : 12:21:43 AM
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| What is peace? What is misery? Some idea? Some feeling? Some energy? Prana? These are things to see for oneself. What is not peace, not misery, not idea, not feeling, energy or prana? Just this presence flowing everything. Seeing it is like seeing nothing, but it's everything. Can't be tainted or touched but it touches every taint. Taints are painted all over it. It's pure. |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2011 : 02:47:31 AM
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hehehe wakeupneo such a funny story ...lol...
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Ananda , a similar story ...yesterday i was teaching asanas in a gym...we were hearing dance music from the other room...so a student told me " i cant relax because of the noise"...she is tensed out to have peace .... told her just let it be ...dont fix...i usually notice that asanas students the minute they feel they are sweating they want to turn on the a/c to stay relaxed and confortable...or they want to change the lights more or less dim ....all this is are very clever plays by the restless mind[:D]...the lack of relaxation is inside in the way we react it not coming from outside...the outside is very neutral...
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tony de mallo 's book is very rich ....deep stuff that summarize many spiritual books from different backgrounds |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2011 : 12:24:54 PM
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Yaming
Switzerland
112 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2011 : 4:03:40 PM
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| what is the purpose of enlightement then? I mean if you feel anyways the same and you're still depressed (not targeting anyone specificly)? |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2011 : 5:14:26 PM
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"You" feel depressed, but you are not "you" in enlightenment. You become the screen on which everything flows.
Maybe these words of Anthony de Mello's will explain it better:
http://www.arvindguptatoys.com/arvi...wareness.pdf
Initially, the old conditioning will kick in and you’ll be depressed and anxious. You’ll grieve, cry, and so on. “Before enlightenment, I used to be depressed: after enlightenment, I continue to be depressed.” But there’s a difference: I don’t identify with it anymore. Do you know what a big difference that is?
You step outside of yourself and look at that depression, and don’t identify with it. You don’t do a thing to make it go away; you are perfectly willing to go on with your life while it passes through you and disappears. If you don’t know what that means, you really have something to look forward to. And anxiety? There it comes and you’re not troubled. How strange! You’re anxious but you’re not troubled.
Isn’t that a paradox? And you’re willing to let this cloud come in, because the more you fight it, the more power you give it. You’re willing to observe it as it passes by. You can be happy in your anxiety. Isn’t that crazy? You can be happy in your depression. But you can’t have the wrong notion of happiness. Did you think happiness was excitement or thrills? That’s what causes the depression. Didn’t anyone tell you that? You’re thrilled, all right, but you’re just preparing the way for your next depression. You’re thrilled but you pick up the anxiety behind that: How can I make it last? That’s not happiness, that’s addiction.
If it does not make sense, don't worry about it. Don't let your mind explain it to you. You will spend a while trying to unlearn those concepts |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2011 : 02:39:49 AM
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Yaming
are you this depression? |
Edited by - maheswari on Apr 09 2011 06:43:55 AM |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2011 : 05:35:08 AM
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Yes, that nails it. I got that message from a voice inside in the beginning of my journey:
"Everything will be the same, but YOU won't be there!"
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2011 : 08:23:12 AM
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You could look at our attachment to peace as a problem. Or you could say what makes chaos unbearable is denying it. Thinking about something that is imaginary and wishing.
You nailed it in the first sentence Ananda when you said "difficult to be aware".
Words and abstract concepts are what makes the chaos unbearable. Letting your thoughts take you away from what is real.
An animal, who has no concept of something abstract, cannot think about peace when chaos surrounds him. So he doesn't feel like anything is wrong. He either deals with the chaos, or he hides or walks away. Of course he doesn't have to hold a job - lucky dog.
With our abstract concepts we are able to build great things. But the downside is we need to learn to let go of abstract concepts. |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2011 : 11:11:07 AM
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I was laughing my heart out but somehow when I read your post dear Ether humbleness took over me .
Namaste to Yoganiji for providing us this chance of sacred sharing and namast to all my AYP family and the beautiful souls who have shared in this topic and Namaste to the loving memory of Anthony .
Love,
Ananda |
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Delara
Lebanon
305 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2011 : 12:59:45 PM
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Hi!
I might sound out of subject...but at this stage I'm attached to meditation which is peace to me ...
Love;
Delara |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2011 : 3:48:57 PM
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One of them paradoxes, got to love them when they show up
Dear Delara, here at AYP we are peops who know where we started from, so by all means for your own benefit be attached to DM that's the healthiest attachment ever. It's like Sri Ramana saying be attached to Self Inquiry to Realize The Self/Attain peace.
The beautiful paradox is that continuing your DM practice will lead you to let go of the attaching. The same thing happens with Self Inquiry. It's like the beautiful buddhist saying: before enlightenment chop wood carry water, after enlightenment chop wood carry water.
Some enlightened beings drop the tool that brought them toward where they are, here we keep on using what works for the benefit of others. Because the practices we have here benefit us and all of those around us and much much more
Please read these lessons for a better understanding:
http://www.aypsite.org/324.html
http://www.aypsite.org/325.html
http://www.aypsite.org/328.html
I was telling a friend today, the silence which I experience in my deep meditation seems to be spreading throughout the day... AYP is the main reason with the change that happened in me recently. My trip to Arunachala was the blessing that nudged the process and cleared a lot of clouds and made me realize what was always here...
Love,
Ananda
P.s: There's no claim of enlightenment here! I am just where I am and it's good and free. |
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Yaming
Switzerland
112 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2011 : 3:58:34 PM
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thanks shanti for sharing. I understand what you mean. Well, I understand it intellectually so I don't understand it at all. I have to experience it to understand it.
And thanks for posting the link to the pdf. I just started reading it. It's awesome. Never heared of him before.
Yaming |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2011 : 5:09:12 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Delara
Hi!
I might sound out of subject...but at this stage I'm attached to meditation which is peace to me ...
Love;
Delara
I think most of us meditate regularly and find it very valuable. But that's not really attachment. Attachment is when you refuse to let go of something when you don't have it.
So attachment to meditation would be if you can't stop thinking about it all day long when you're not doing it. |
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nodoubt
India
90 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2011 : 5:10:58 PM
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| As Self, afflictions glide by like oil on water. When you finally realize afflictions are not Self, they actually don't exist. |
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Delara
Lebanon
305 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2011 : 02:32:34 AM
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ty Ananda..I'll read these lessons now.
Hi Etherfish,I speak for myself...I'm aware of an attachment over here cause during the day i'm looking forward to doing DM.and while doing DM I'm cheating sometimes...I can sense time is up but i ignore it and continue few more mins.If not for all the warnings Yogani's mentioning in the lessons.I would be exceeding 20 mins(passes very quickly!)... |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2011 : 05:45:45 AM
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Hi Delara,
Yes, that's attachment, but also a sign of good bhakti, the most powerful of helpers along the path. |
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Delara
Lebanon
305 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2011 : 10:05:21 AM
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very strong bhakti...sometimes i think there should be some safety lock on certain practices for people like me...not allowed to access before certain requirements are fulfilled  |
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Topic |
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Attachment To Peace
