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meditation casualty
USA
8 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 06 2011 : 5:17:18 PM
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Mine is a VERY long story so I shall be brief. Nearly 18 years ago I decided to try Transcendental Meditation. Shortly into this practice I began to experience intense head pressure when I tried to meditate. It would subside after the session. I believe I received poor instruction, which I believe played a major role in this. I was straining and trying way too hard because it was not explained to me how effortless it had to be.
I soon began to experience the head pressure outside of meditation. I was told to keep meditating to work through it. It got worse. Long story short, it soon became permanent. The TM people were of no help whatsoever. In fact, they made it worse. It is now almost 18 years later and I have not been free of this miserable affliction for even one minute. Not one minute. This constant head pressure is not something I GET. It is something I permanently HAVE each and every waking second of every day. Again, this going on 18 years. I've just learned to somehow live with it.
I pretty much gave up on trying to rid myself of this about two years into this when it became apparent that nobody had a clue about what to do and nothing I had tried worked. Occasionally, however, I find new inspiration to try and find someone in this world who can maybe help me get rid of this awful thing. Now is one such time.
It's so powerful sometimes that I don't know what it would possibly take. At times it's unbearable. But there's nothing I can do about it except pop a few extra strength asprin pills to take the edge off just a bit when it gets really bad. And just wait until it settles down a bit. Sometimes it's just sort of backgrund noise, but it's ALWAYS there.
The best explanation I ever got was that the energy of the subtle body became reversed and travels up the spine. This is definitely energy. It feels like high pressure air pressing against my skull. I don't believe it's kundalini as such, but what some refer to as its "wind." There are no other symptoms. It's not centered on any one area, like the crown or third eye, but it's rather a full helmet effect. It is slightly more pronounced on the left side of my head.
I tried acupuncture and it was completely ineffective. I was told that acupuncture wouldn't help because it doesn't go deep enough. And this is really deep.
Early on in all this, I was able to temporarily eliminate the pressure on 3 seperate occasions. The first time, when it was really bad, I just started vigorously massaging my trapezius muscles, which I noticed were very tight. This immediately began to bleed off the energy, like steam being released from a pipe. After several minutes of intense massaging, the pressure was completely gone. The pressure returned when I resumed the meditation. This never worked again.
The second time was after a network chiropractic adjustment. The pressure was at least 90% gone. It went from a torrent to little more than a trickle. I was still listening to the TM people, however, and soon tried to meditate again, to "work through it." As soon as I began to meditate the torrent of pressure returned. I underwent regular chiropractic treatment for at least a year afterwards and never had any success again.
Later on there was a period of a couple of days, however, when I was experiencing icy tingling sensations in the occiput. The pressure shifted accordingly to the area of the tingling, as if it was reversing itself. This soon ended, however, and it returned to the front/sides of my head.
The third instance was when I was stretching my back one night. I arched my back quite forcefully and noticed when I got up that it was gone. I was ecstatic. I thought it was over. Unfortunately, it began to return just a few hours later and within no time it was back up to full strength. Arching my back in this manner has never worked again, and I've nearly broken my back trying to do so. It's as it a certain technique will only work once, like a trigger point that can only be used one time. It's only been some sort of physical manipulation that's worked at all.
Now, I've read several posts on this forum addressing head pressure. On the one hand I'm glad I'm not the only one in the world who's experienced this. On the other hand, it seems that everyone's experiences were temporary and were fixed by certain exercises described on this site or simply faded on their own. I haven't read of someone else on this forum or anywhere else having this permanently like me.
I've tried some of these techniques but quickly gave up on them, as this seems completely resistant to everything I try and the frustration can be defeating. They don't seem powerful enough. Maybe I haven't given them enough of a chance. I don't know. Sorry to ramble but there's a lot of ground to cover.
Any ideas? I'd really appreciate it. |
Edited by - AYPforum on Mar 06 2011 5:57:58 PM |
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AYPforum
351 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2011 : 5:57:58 PM
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woosa
United Kingdom
382 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2011 : 6:15:23 PM
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Hi
Maybe this exercise that 'Jim and his karma' posted could help:
1. stand up, bend knees slightly, back straight. bend arms with forearms out straight and parallel at belly level. Visualize a ball between hands. Exhale into the ball.
2. do some AYP style pranayama, but only the "down" part. don't force, but let all the energy ooze downward on the exhale.
3. if #1 and #2 don't do it, suspend AYP pranayama for a while and do this. visualize, on exhale, prana moving down your face from your third eye, through your sinuses into the roof of your mouth. LIGHTLY press tongue to the little bump behind front teeth (but keep tongue relaxed), visualize energy running down tongue, to back of throat, to front of spine, then down to root. Do it like yawning, very opening (and, per #2, don't force!). Feel the pooled energy draining from the jaw. This is the TAoist pathway model, which clashes a bit with AYP pranayama (no long term issues, just don't practice both at same time). And this is what I resort to when the problem arises
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....hroat,chakra
Keeping away from meditation completely might be a good idea and
trying some asanas could balance out the energy.
http://www.aypsite.org/71.html
http://www.aypsite.org/asana.html
How long do you meditate for?
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2011 : 6:27:14 PM
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meditation casualty
Hi! Welcome to the AYP Support Forum.
Learning cause and effect is an ongoing part of meditation practice. I think you have a very interesting situation.
As I was reading, I automatically felt pressure build up in a kind of helmet formation, a feeling of energy pressure on the inside of my scull or maybe just my scalp pressing outward.
This is interesting: When I was describing the pressure, at first I thought of pressure as pressing up inside the scull, but then it seemed to go out to under the scalp, and now it is kind of tingling up seemingly outside the scalp. I am curious: Does yours feel like it is pressing up on the scull or the scalp?
I have had a lot of involuntary head pressure experiences over the years, but it never annoyed me, or led me to consider taking aspirin. It always seemed to go away with time. Given your history, I seriously doubt this will help you, but I will tell you what worked for me to get rid of head pressure. Are you ready for this? OK, here goes: I re-envisioned my energy body so that it was no longer limited to the inside of my skin.
That's what worked for me. Meanwhile, I was doing ongoing AYP Deep Meditation and Spinal Breathing Pranayama in twice daily sits. I think the practices helped. And, I admit, the pressure never bothered me much.
That's my accounting of cause and effect in my case.
Bewell |
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meditation casualty
USA
8 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2011 : 7:47:46 PM
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Woosa, thank you for your input. I haven't tried to meditate since this became established. Meditative techniques only make it worse. But I screwed up my energy system so badly that the problem became permanent.
I did read some interesting material by "Jim and his karma." The most interesting part to me concerned his use of Chinese herbs. I may pay a visit to Chinatown.
Unfortunately, none of these visualization techniques have ever done much. I find them very difficult to perform and I usually give up on them. This is such a powerful phenomenon, so deep and stubborn. I have recently discovered the So Cream meditation, which resembles in many ways the one you describe.
Bewell, thank you as well. It feels like high pressure air pressing down against my skull. The energy is between the skull and the musculature. And again, it NEVER goes away. It sounds like you were doing something like the White Skeleton meditation. |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2011 : 7:53:12 PM
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Hi there MC, I have had a head pressure on the left side of my head for 7 years. It had not subsided (only a few times it became really soft). It began with no apparent reason, maybe just anxiety. I too tried acupuncture and it had not worked. And I have too learned to live with it.
I hope that you succeed in having it release  I know the frustration that can happen.
LOVE to you and much happiness |
Edited by - Yonatan on Mar 06 2011 7:55:15 PM |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2011 : 8:12:05 PM
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If it is kundalini related you would want to do a lot of grounding activities.
There is also the possibility that it is not directly kundalini related. Emotional storing can cause you to chronically tense muscles, and in turn pinch nerves.
Meditation should make you relax more and help, but not everyone progressively relaxes with meditation.
For instance, this link shows one kind of headache caused by neck vertebrae misalignment, and an exercise you can do to help:
http://en.allexperts.com/q/Neck-Inj...NE-NERVE.htm
I don't fully agree with their recommendation to just go to a chiropractor though. Tense muscles hold bones in misalignment, so some kind of massage and relaxation techniques would also be needed with or without a chiropractor. Exercises like pilates, stretching, feldenkrais,qi gong, cranial sacral therapy, and others have techniques to lengthen extremities and relax tension, thus relieving pressure on nerves that can cause pain in other areas.
Usually meditation would provide relaxation, but not in your case where it gets worse, and if it is kundalini related, some of these relaxation and grounding activities could be just the answer you need.
Also here is a comprehensive site on Kundalini:
http://biologyofkundalini.com/
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Edited by - Etherfish on Mar 06 2011 10:52:10 PM |
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meditation casualty
USA
8 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2011 : 12:10:14 AM
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Thank you all, again, for taking the time to weigh in. While I don't believe this is a direct manifestation of kundalini, it appears to be what the Taoists call a "wind" phenomenon. It's subtle energy, just not kundalini as such. At least that's what I've come to believe. I have no other kundalini symptoms whatsoever.
I know the energy travels up my spine because stretching my spine vigorously once completely eliminated the pressure for a few hours. Stretching my back like that never worked again but there's no doubt that it travels up the spine. The fact that it came back demonstrates that my energy patterns became completely "screwed up."
Nor do I understand how a chiropractic session almost completely relieved the pressure on one occasion but never worked again afterwards, or how vigorously massaging my traps completely eliminated it once but never worked again.
I've recently decided to try chiropractic work again, but it's really expensive here in NY and I don't even know if it'll ever work. I can't afford it but I feel I have to try. Sometimes I want to explore the option of having my nerves cut so I don't have to live with every day of my life, but there are many negative side effects associated with that. Plus, I couldn't afford the operation.
I just have to believe there's an answer out there, somewhere. I guess I've learned patience if nothing else. |
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rabbit
USA
3 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2011 : 12:30:18 AM
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Hi, MC. I experienced the 'wind' headache for a brief time. The way I was able to get relief was similar to your trapezius massage.
I had recently started doing yoga exercises, and I noticed that if I 'breathed' in the place where I was tight, it would loosen up quite a bit. Here's a video of a fitness instructor showing this principle. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaA6AjRraUg . I found that the more I imagined the breath filling up the tight spots, the more it would release when I relaxed on the out breath.
When I started experiencing the headaches, I lucked across this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xq4NVSp35Rs which gave me the idea to apply the 'breathing' insight to all the muscles around my head. Starting in the muscles in the back of my head, down my neck, and then around my eyes, ears, anywhere I found tightness, using as much imagination-breathing-relaxation as possible.
Hope that you find relief!
-John |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2011 : 03:42:05 AM
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I am now experiencing large openings energetically from spiritual practice, and when my awareness moves over with openness and "touches" the energy on the left side of my body or the head, there is a strong feeling of the anger emotion and I cry. So I guess for me this is probably a stuck emotion or negative energy condensed in that space. I hope this might give you a clue to what might be going on with your pressure.
Love,
Yonatan |
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Tibetan_Ice
Canada
758 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2011 : 12:30:53 PM
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Hi mc,
Have you tried putting your tongue on the soft palate and keeping it there throughout the day? This works for me. When I put the tip of my tongue upwards and back, touching the soft palate next to the epiglotis, I feel a pressure flow from the third eye downwards towards the tip of the tongue and then through the tongue. It drains/circulates the excess buildup of pressure/energy downwards through the front channel..
Along the same lines, have you ever practised the Micro Cosmic Orbit?
:)
TI |
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meditation casualty
USA
8 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2011 : 7:32:40 PM
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Unfortunately, visualization and breathing exercises have done nothing. Granted, I haven't tried them all, but this is so stubbornly resistant to these sorts of exercises. It's just so powerful. I can't state that strongly enough.
I'm actually scheduled to take a class to learn the Microcosmic Orbit meditation. Who knows.
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2011 : 8:00:41 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by meditation casualty
Bewell, thank you as well. It feels like high pressure air pressing down against my skull. The energy is between the skull and the musculature.
Ok, upon reading your description, my body/mind replicated something that fits that description. I felt "high pressure air pressing down against my skull between the skull and musculature."
Of course, for me, the feeling did not last long, and it did not annoy me. Wow, 18 years of that is a long time. |
Edited by - bewell on Mar 07 2011 8:01:26 PM |
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rabbit
USA
3 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2011 : 9:56:26 PM
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I'm sorry things haven't been working. I will take another stab at describing what worked for me, because I'm not sure I described it well.
I went all around me head and found the 'edges' of the pressure, and I would rest my awareness on these spots, one at a time. The tension that I found there was kind of halfway in between physical tension and mental/wind tension. When I say I was 'breathing' in these spots of tension, I mean that on the in breath, I would allow the 'wind' energy to fill up the spot I was focusing on, and on the out breath, I would mentally relax the spot and drain the energy further downwards.
It's not 'just' a visualization, but a technique for gradually getting the muscles, wind, and mind to work together in a process of relaxation of tensions. Hope that's clearer.
All the best,
John |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2011 : 01:16:22 AM
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Dear MC,
I really feel with you. I've been through what you are going through but for a very short while and the instructions in lesson 69 (http://www.aypsite.org/69.html) helped me go through it all.
But in your case and going through this for 18 years now, wow you are my hero. Thank God that you're strong enough to take it and that you haven't went nuts to be honest...
I can't offer much as help but to pray for you and keep you in my samyama and to tell you to help out yourself and try out the instructions in lesson 69 and give it a fair chance for at least a week starting from deep meditation with the IAM mantra and 5 minutes of spinal breathing. And it's not about powerful practices, it's about balance.
Another thing which I can point out to that works for me personally, believe it or not it's light self inquiry as taught by Sri Ramana Maharshi. It just takes me out of the body mind and all of that and puts me into awareness/inner silence which you seem like you desperately need instead of all the energy firework.
I know a lot of good advise has been given by others in this topic, but you shouldn't mix it all together and try it all at once. Start from somewhere and follow with someone, maybe through grace things will pull through.
I wish you peace...
Namaste brother [img]icon_heart.gif[/img]
Love,
Ananda |
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Wolfgang
Germany
470 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2011 : 2:57:39 PM
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Hello Friend,
Do you think you could be hypnotized or hypnotize yourself ?
Just another option you might consider.
Wolfgang |
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meditation casualty
USA
8 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2011 : 11:26:14 PM
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Any type of inner directed activity or attempt to quiet the mind only aggravates the problem. The pressure always increases when I try to relax mentally or go within. I suppose it brings more energy up.
The most frustrating part of this is the fact that it prevents me from experiencing samadhi and expanded states of consciousness. I wouldn't mind it nearly as much if I was able to experience the transcendent, or infinite, or what have you. It wouldn't bother me nearly as much. It would just be a nuisance. But I hate that it is holding me back from the deeper conscious states I read others enjoying.
All because I received lousy instruction and meditated improperly for a few weeks or so 18 years ago. I couldn't have possibly imagined that I'd have to suffer every day for the rest of my life for a mistake I made so long ago.
I was right on the cusp of the infinite on one occasion. I was right there. But I guess that brought even more energy up into my head and I was never able to approach it again. It's my goal in life to somehow rid myself of this so I can one day directly experience the deep state of samadhi. |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2011 : 02:23:57 AM
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I would say that there is no searcher/seeker and no enlightenment or samadhi.. it's all just well seem meaningless from where I don't stand... But It's unfair towards you because you're in one hell of an energetic tornado... And sorry for being blunt but you're still too much identifying with the past present future and the one who's relaxing or meditating...
If self effort seems to be causing the mess, then it's time to just let it go and forgetting everything even your you and mine and I from the first place.
I don't know where you live in the states but I would like to suggest you go visit a certain teacher which I've heard a great good deal about and which might wake you up from everything:
http://francislucille.com/index.htm...aita_teacher
Wish you all the best!
Love,
Ananda |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2011 : 02:29:13 AM
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But please keep in mind that by giving you this advise, I am not saying you shouldn't take the ones in lesson 69. They personally helped me out and all the people with energy who I know have been helped by them also.
namaste |
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chas
USA
209 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2011 : 04:43:50 AM
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Hello,
I think you might be focusing too much on "breaking through" in an energetic way, and resisting the quieting of your mind. The energy is coming up, let it come up. Just watch it. Be with it. Try not to resist..
Open up to possibilities outside of your concepts. samahdi is not somewhere out there. Look within. Reverse your senses. The answers you seek are within you. It is prior to energy. I Am mantra meditation takes you there. Go inside.
Energetically, it seems like you have excess crown energy and lack balance through your system. I highly recommend the AYP practices of deep meditation and spinal breathing. Spend some time learning and practicing the lessons, and make it a high priority.
Love |
Edited by - chas on Mar 09 2011 05:15:11 AM |
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2011 : 08:41:31 AM
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Another idea that you might want to try is listening to music that you find relaxing. Let the music wash over you and when you let go, imagine it going through the areas of concern. Don't focus tightly, more like wave on the beach. Music is usually less intense then direct meditation. Also, if you feel the need to cry, let it come. We all need a good purge every once and a while.
Peace & Love. |
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chas
USA
209 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2011 : 10:36:31 AM
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Also, wind and kundalini are just different terms for the same thing..in spinal breathing practice, you will be channeling the wind to the third eye area (not the crown), balancing the energy along the spinal nerve. Attention goes from your base up the spine and through the brain to between your eyebrows, and back down..up and down with awareness. The buildup in your head should start to decrease as you progress, and become more ecstatic throughout the body..
I wish you well |
Edited by - chas on Mar 09 2011 10:47:10 AM |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2011 : 1:25:58 PM
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Hi Meditation Casualty and welcome to the AYP Forums....
I've been silently following along with the conversation here and I felt drawn to chime in just now. But I have an inclination that what I am about to say you may not like.
I would suggest that you honestly inquire into whether or not you actually want to be rid of these symptoms. I know you SAY you do, but do you really? It appears to me, that you are very much identified with these symptoms (it would be very hard not to be after going through this for 18 years straight)... that this headache has become part of "who you are" and that (at least subconsciously) letting go of it may cause some fear to arise. I say this only because you remind me of myself... I have been in, what appears to me, to be a very similar situation in the not so distant past. There were some things in my past (namely addictions or the status of being an addict) that I subconsciously was identifying myself with and did not want to let go of. I wanted to be able to call myself "a recovering drug addict." Letting go of this label filled me (subconsciously) with fear. I hear you saying over and over again, "Nothing works, I am always going to be afflicted with this curse." In fact, your very forum ID "Meditation Casualty" alludes to this "I'm a victim" mentality that seems to permeate your posts. I would suggest, that in order to overcome this, you are going to have to let go of the victim mentality and ALLOW yourself/choose to move on. The mind (both the conscious and the subconscious mind) is extrememly powerful and it dictates our living experience. This is why yoga (meditation in particular) is so effective in bringing us to a place where suffering does not fill every crack of our experience... it brings the subconscious mind into the conscious realm so that we can consciously create our reality instead of falling victim to it over and over again.
Again, I suggest that you honestly inquire into whether or not you truly want to be free of this headache and then go from there depending on the answers that arise from that inquiry.
Hope this wasn't too brash.
Love!
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rabbit
USA
3 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2011 : 3:18:34 PM
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Hey again. I've been thinking more about your dilemma, and I still get the impression that relaxation of tensions is the way to relief here.
The problem with relaxation, as you've noticed, is that our minds get in the way and frustrate our efforts to relax. They are tricky like that. Tell someone not to think of an elephant, they think of an elephant. Tell someone they are already enlightened, their mind tells them they aren't. Tell someone to relax, they tense up.
I think one of the Big Ideas behind all the spiritual practices we do is to subvert this very tendency of the mind. Instead of telling someone to 'realize you are enlightened,' we tell them, go meditate and let your inner silence grow. And instead of saying 'go meditate', we say let your attention rest on this mantra as best as you can, and meditation just happens.
So I like jeff's suggestion to listen to music. No focus, no trying really hard to relax, just gentle attention to the music and your body. I also think working on the body with massage, tai chi, or yoga asanas would be good. No direct focus on the mind or head unless you feel like it - just releasing tensions wherever you can.
But I think what will help you more than any technique, is learning to understand the interplay between our mind, our body, and our Self. Something Kirtanman said in another forum really struck me. "Our true nature is release". If we can learn to accept our tensions and our pains (and our pleasures), let them arise and pass, then almost the whole race is run. I think what has helped me the most was actually forgetting about the mind and focusing on being attentive to the body. I realized that the mind, the thoughts I had, were springing from the body.
Next time you are having a strong feeling or emotion, scan your body and look for tension. See if that tension is related to the feeling you are having. Then try to be fully aware of that tension so that there is no longer any thought of "I'm angry" or "I'm nervous" but just the bodily sensation. This went a long way towards helping me find inner silence.
So, I guess I'm saying several things here. 1) Take your time with learning to relax. Tensions that have been cemented over 18 years won't go away at once, but they can be undone. 2) Be intentional about it. Learning how to relax, how to unbind yourself from thoughts, fears, contractions, aversions to pain is your path. And it's a really good one too. If you need meditation, the time for it will come, but if you've learned how to relax into silence, you're a lot of the way there.
All the best,
John
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meditation casualty
USA
8 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2011 : 5:51:19 PM
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I thank you all for your additional input. A few things. I basically "made my peace" with this around two years into it. I basically woke up one day and felt that I needed to just get on with life and live with it as best I can.
That's been what I've more or less been doing for all these years, only occasionally looking into a possible solution. A recent event in my life prompted me to start looking into it again seriously. I started undergoing chiropractic sessions again, for example. I've tried acupuncture again and I'm trying other things. I can't afford any of this but I have to give it a try.
I apologize for appearing to whine on this board, with this 'woe is me' attitude. I apologize. Nobody likes a downer. I stopped talking about it years ago and close confidants of mine don't even know about it.
It's just that the pressure is unbearable at times and there's nothing I can do about it. It can be frustrating beyond words. I can't pretend otherwise, and yes, CarsonZi, I really do want a solution. I know what you mean, I really do, but I am more than willing to surrender my identification with this.
A quick point. Spinal breathing seems like a potentially worthwhile practice. I tried it but I have great difficulty orchestrating the actual practice, coordinating the deep breathing with a complex visualization. I have trouble with visualization anyway. It seems rather difficult. Anyone else have trouble with this? |
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woosa
United Kingdom
382 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2011 : 7:03:53 PM
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Don't worry about visualising. I can't visualise for toffee, and I'm still doing spinal breathing.
As long as your awareness is going up and down between the third eye and root, in time with your breathing - it will work.
Stick with that or add mudras and bhandas if you feel like them in the future. |
Edited by - woosa on Mar 09 2011 7:15:32 PM |
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Constant Head Pressure that Never Ends
