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alicera
Canada
1 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 04 2011 : 7:34:34 PM
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Hi everyone, I am new to this forum. I have been practicing kundalini for about 8 months and have gradually felt the energy building up; I was doing AYP exercises to send the energy up as far as the throat but not really further than that because I was worried that my root was not grounded enough for it. I meditate almost every day as well. About 3-4 weeks ago I experienced what I think was an unblockage of energy in the sacrum due to realizing that I had a lot of blocked anger and finally being able to feel it. That day and the next day after finally being able to feel my anger I felt able to forgive the person and myself as well and had a very blissful feeling. Then after that unblockage I was doing a body scan in shivasana after the kundalini exercises and I was sending the energy out the crown mentally and I had this experience of no-self that I have never had before, that the energy in me was not mine or different from the energy outside, that they were the same. Since then the boundaries between me and the world have seemed very shaky. It feels extremely powerful and I have been feeling a lot of different emotions. Luckily it has not been so totally crazy I think because my meditation practice is pretty stable, but I caught a flu almost immediately (apparently this is common) and since then I was unable to meditate or do yoga. In fact I have been trying to bring the energy back down almost intuitively because it felt like it was too high, I was having trouble concentrating, so I've been cooking a lot and doing breathing exercises and visualizing sending it down. But it is still really powerful and a friend of mine who does reiki says it sounds like I am close to a kundalini crisis or in one. It sort of feels that way to me too. Partly it is good, because I feel like I am going through big changes in relation to being able to assert myself, but my self-assertion or even aggression comes out at times and it is shocking to other people, especially I am finding, older men in positions of authority, as if I am challenging them or something. And it is getting me into a lot of trouble.
I guess I am wondering if anyone has had similar experiences or can take a shot at explaining what is happening to me, or what to expect, or if anyone has advice about what to do; I've read some of the posts on here and they are very helpful, thanks. My problem is that there is no one around me that I can talk to about this; everyone will just think I am crazy, and maybe there is a bit of that in it. I want to get back down to a more common sense level and stop feeling angry/scared/threatened (and, well, paranoid).
Any help or advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated :) |
Edited by - AYPforum on Jun 10 2012 6:30:48 PM |
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woosa
United Kingdom
382 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2011 : 8:49:33 PM
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Hi alicera
Don't worry so much! You are not crazy, people who don't follow a spiritual practice are crazy!
Let go. If you are feeling energy let it be. I get from your post that you are worrying too much. And that isn't gonna help.
What I would recommend is to not meditate concentrating on the crown. http://www.aypsite.org/277.html
At AYP, the crown is avoided. It will be opened by proxy, as your third eye opens.
Here are some are the symptoms:
http://www.aypsite.org/69.html
If you have these then self-pace your practice (i.e. less time in practice, and/or less practices.
Try spinal breathing as stated here
http://www.aypsite.org/41.html
and meditate after
http://www.aypsite.org/13.html
The default is 10 mins spinal breathing and 20 mins deep meditation. But if you can't handle that then do 5 mins and 10 mins. Whatever works for you. Spinal breathing is excellent for balancing unruly energy.
It can be difficult doing a spiritual practice, as there is no one to talk to (I know myself!), but there are plenty of people to talk to on this forum. Maybe a few are crazy. 
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2011 : 10:09:32 PM
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Hi Alicera,
Welcome 
I believe what you are experiencing may be some kind of energetic opening, and that the energies have to settle a bit. I would suggest that you self-pace a bit for a while, see what amount of spiritual practice is good that doesn't make things worse. And take it easy many of us here, and many many people outside AYP who are doing spiritual practice or that had openings from other things, are and have experienced what you describe, there is no need to worry. So yeah relax for a while with the practices, and as you said, it is good what is happening
Love and Light,
Yonatan |
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Evannon
USA
26 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2011 : 09:40:12 AM
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| Alicera, you have no idea how strongly your experience resonates with me! I know the sense of opening up the chakras (maybe a little too quickly,) particularly root and crown, and the resultant dissolution of boundaries (between you and the universe) - and then the resultant shakiness! I would describe my experience as a "crisis" that went on for several years. I quit meditating altogether, which only exacerbated the issues. In my humble opinion, what you'll need to do is learn when to dissolve, and when to fully inhabit your conventional body in this conventional realm. Three things helped me immensely: 1) Yogani's advice on managing the opening of the crown chakra!! Focus on the "third eye" especially when you feel the crown opening. So, ditto to Woosa's comments above. 2) Lovingly, open the root chakra. Just place your focus there for a while, observe sensations, witness. You may feel a rush of ecstatic (sexual!) energy - experience it, witness it without attachment, it is okay to enjoy it, it will flow out of you - love it on its way! You may also feel other emotional releases - tears, fears, grief, anger... let them go. An experienced, trusted friend or teacher can facilitate this. If you have none, you must be your own. 3) Dance! This may be just me; there ain't much about dancing on this site. But... it's a great way to RE-inhabit your conventional body. I love it, and I find it a great spiritual aid! If there's an ecstatic dance group nearby, attend! Move your body, shake it out, wildly, freely, let your body express itself. If you're not already doing this comfortably in public, do it in the privacy of your home, where you can truly let loose. These are the things that helped me. I hope they help you! |
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Pheel
China
318 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2011 : 2:50:22 PM
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Hi Alicera,
Welcome to the forum! It seems you are combining ayp with other (kundalini) practices. Can you tell us what do you practice, what is your routine? That will help people here to "diagnose" what's going on. I had several kundalini episodes before and just had one last night. I see this kind of phenomena as indicators of the intensity of blockages in me, instead of achievement. When this happens, I usually reduce energetic practices and keep the meditation stable. A solid base in meditation is one of the ways to help ease out of this kind of issues. Maybe you'd try to meditate twice a day every day?
Phil |
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kundalini awakening? need advice pls
