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Lohengrin
Australia
2 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 30 2010 : 06:31:29 AM
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Hello, I am going to try and be as honest and clear about what has been happening to me for atleast the past 2 years or so.
For most of my life I was a typical kid living in Aus. Went to School, had more inecurities I'd care to admit and an ego that could cause eclipses. Most of my childhood was spent outside playing around and honestly these were as often are the most carefree and funnest years i can remember.
Before all this Kundalini stuf I would often as possible daydream, typically about saving the day, magic, gods, aliens anything along those lines, it seems obvious now it was to escape from my reality but the point of me mentioning it, is that these daydreams lead me to a fascination with the occult, mythology(though I have been into mythology since I was a child), conspiracies and so on.
I wont go into too much detail on my background and physcology but I will say about 2 years ago after some time spent in isolation aswell as the use of drugs my mind started going through changes. At first they were too small to notice and I didn't take much notice, then I started having more and more ellaborate fantasies, I would mix in what I had learnt from studying the supposedly hidden histories of the world to try and create scenarios where I might actually gain the powers I saw myself having in my mind.
Eventually I came upon the I was Osiris, this lead me to seriously consider I was going crazy, then my personailty shifted once again and I started seeing similiarties between myself and many other gods and historical figures, after some research I came across mentions of the kundalini and saw every symptom described in myself( as usual) it has caused extreme insecurities in who and what I am, I have no real belief in a higher power while I believe in a god I cant begin to describe it at all and this leads me to feelings of confusion during meditation and many thoughts of various deities and symbols.
I am constantly looking for signs everywhere I see reality fading around me as I become more aware of subtle energies, during meditation I am either overcome with extreme pleasure and blinding bliss or extreme fear from the disconnection to my body, I have gained many insights into myself and others, but at the same time it has amplified everything negative about me which however I feel able to change however the one thing I cannot seem to change is my lack of belief in a higher power or atleast ability to define it, without being able to do so I fear my awakening is being wasted, everything is out of whack, and while my ego has gone down somewhat I still find myself constantly striving for approval and to be seen as better then my peers.
What can I do to bring my Kundalini to full, can anyone see what my main problems are from my history I have no sense of self and constantly feel floating a little out of synch with my body, in high school I sold my soul for a cookie, i masturbate way too much and smoke and drink, I am moving to Nepal in a few months beut mainly because I'm sure something is happening 2012 and feel I need to awaken my kundalini fully in order to save the world... please help, I can give you as many details about myself and symptoms as required. |
Edited by - AYPforum on Jun 10 2012 6:44:44 PM |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Dec 30 2010 : 11:08:29 AM
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Lohengrin
Hello and welcome to the Advanced Yoga Practices support forum -- where the "practices" are advanced, but the practitioners are on many different levels.
You asked a very interesting question: "What can I do to bring my Kundalini to full, can anyone see what my main problems are from my history?" Well, having read your history, it actually sounds like you have a lot of insight.
Others on the forum may have other comments, but I would like to focus on one thing you said about your experiences. You wrote: "...during meditation I am either overcome with extreme pleasure and blinding bliss or extreme fear from the disconnection to my body."
That is precisely the kind of observation that this forum is here for: looking at experiences, whatever they may be, as those experiences relate to chosen yoga practices. In this case, are noticing that your practice of "meditation" leads to an experience of "either overcome with extreme pleasure and blinding bliss or extreme fear from the disconnection to my body." Many of us have had experiences like that.
Here at the AYP forum, we tend to advocate becoming stable in a set of yogic practices. The first step is a twice daily practice of "Deep Meditation." Have you read Yogani's lesson on Mediation? http://www.aypsite.org/13.html
Is that like the meditation practice you have been doing? Do you have a stable routine of twice daily meditation? How long do you mediate in one sit?
To enable us to offer supportive feedback in yoga practices as they relate to your experience, it will be very useful for you to study the yoga practices in Yogani's main lessons, and do practices in the order and in the way he recommends.
When you are able to see how your routine of yoga practices relate to your experience over time, then you will be able to "self pace" and find a more stable, grounded experience with your body -- your neuro-physical organism -- as a doorway to "pure bliss consciousness" and "ecstatic conductivity."
Again, welcome to the forum.
Be
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Edited by - bewell on Dec 30 2010 11:21:48 AM |
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - Dec 30 2010 : 12:31:00 PM
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Hey man, welcome and thanks for sharing.
It sounds like you've come through a lot...
I would suggest that you consider really sorting out yourself out. Create discipline in your daily life, cut down on the drugs, install a regular meditation/practice routine, limit the fantasy & imagination.
Forge a new path and escape the confusion and chaos of your present life. Don't worry about things like saving the world... you've got a long road ahead of you still.
You need to concentrate on purification, and you can do that through disciplining your body and mind... learn to work hard and to surrender....
xxx |
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Kirtanman
USA
1651 Posts |
Posted - Dec 30 2010 : 1:43:59 PM
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Hi Lohengrin,
Welcome to the AYP Forum.
And, good news -- you've come to the right place ... or one of the very few, on the Web, anyway.
There's a lot of misinformation about kundalini out there, and it's often discussed in some fairly dramatic ways, and/or made out to be a problem.
Symptoms associated with kundalini awakening and its effects are a natural part of the overall process of yogic practice -- and we (AYP) have a specific methodology (our recommended combination of practices, combined with self-pacing) that helps keep kundalini symptoms as balanced and minimal as possible, while still allowing for optimal yogic progress.
Per Bewell's post, you may want to start at the beginning of the AYP lessons, and possibly start practicing AYP instead of whatever you're currently doing. "Instead of" only because if it's "on top of" current practices, that's a good way to increase kundalini symptoms -- which you don't want to do (it'll feel bad, and it won't gain you anything).
The other benefit, if you're interested in AYP, beyond the fact that some of us here who've been at this for awhile (I started practicing AYP over five years ago) can attest that AYP is very good at helping keep kundalini symptoms balanced.
It sounds like you've got a lot on your mind ... and balanced practices might help that to decrease a bit.
That's one of the key benefits of yoga ... some might say the benefit:
Yogash chitta-vrtti-nirodhah
Yoga is the cessation of mind-disturbances.
(Yoga Sutras I.2 )
It really is.
And, in the meantime, the less worrying about stuff that you can do, the better and faster your yogic practice, and your awakening, will progress.
We can literally block full awakening by attachment to thoughts and feelings -- and so, being as easy as possible with everything is the best way to go, and it makes for the smoothest, and the most guaranteed, awakening process, as well.
I hope this is useful.
Again, welcome to the AYP Forum!
Wholeheartedly,
Kirtanman
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Edited by - Kirtanman on Dec 30 2010 1:45:01 PM |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Dec 31 2010 : 01:14:02 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Lohengrin
I am moving to Nepal in a few months beut mainly because I'm sure something is happening 2012 and feel I need to awaken my kundalini fully in order to save the world... please help, I can give you as many details about myself and symptoms as required.
If you are going to Nepal, visit the Pashupatinath Temple in Kathmandu and find a priest who can perform the 'Rudra Abhishek' puja for you.
You will get what is best for you.
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Lohengrin
Australia
2 Posts |
Posted - Dec 31 2010 : 03:38:13 AM
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Thankyou very much for all the open and clear cut advice, as many of you probably feel my main problems with a kundalini was not the lack of information out there but the over abundance of it, so many ideas and theories it's good to finally hear some advice that makes actual sense. I have been trying to establish more of an order in my life and as per instructions have started meditating and practices at regular times during the day and week. I always read that the kundalini will give you an infalted ego and crazy ideas run through your head but I haven't actually read about any of the thoughts they had specifically, so I thought maybe mine were pretty common. The advice on where to go in Nepal was mad as well, i'll defintely be looking it up when I get there.
But one last thing, WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENS FROM A KUNDALINI AWAKENING? I've read about siddhis, maturity, cosmic oneness, godhood, 5th dimensional demon possesion, as of now I'm disregarding anything on the subject I haven't experienced for myself, but I would like to ask what has everyone gained from Kundalini Practices personally? |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4430 Posts |
Posted - Dec 31 2010 : 05:53:36 AM
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Hi Lohengrin,
A kundalini awakening is basically the transition from one state of evolution to another. Different things are experienced by different people, depending on their past karma, but the end result is always the same... divine consciousness.
The whole process takes time (years or decades) and on the way there are many different phases. It is good not to get distracted by the particulars. They come and go, unless we hang onto them! There are dangers on the path, the biggest two being ego-aggrandizement and thinking you have reached the end of the journey. So try to avoid both those at all cost.
Otherwise it is pretty simple stuff. The more you purify and surrender, the more you will open... and the more you open, the more you will purify and surrender. You grow in love and virtue. Everything else is more of a distraction than a boon, so be aware of it, but don't get caught in it.
Live in humility and grace.
Christi |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Dec 31 2010 : 06:59:30 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Lohengrin
WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENS FROM A KUNDALINI AWAKENING? I've read about siddhis, maturity, cosmic oneness, godhood, 5th dimensional demon possesion...
Anything can happen from the options you have mentioned above.
The Kundalini opens all the paths to you. However to walk on which path is your choice.
And I guess you must have made a choice by now. Have you?
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Dec 31 2010 : 09:58:44 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Lohengrin
I have been trying to establish more of an order in my life and as per instructions have started meditating and practices at regular times during the day and week.
Excellent choice you have made: an orderly practice routine will yield steady progress over the long term!
As to accounts of my experience and others experiences of others here, there is an abundance of information right here on the forum. Just click on a name, go to the list of their forum posts at "Find all non-archived posts by," go to the Kundalini thread, and see what you find.
As Yogani says, "The guru is in you."
Be |
Edited by - bewell on Dec 31 2010 10:06:24 AM |
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - Dec 31 2010 : 9:07:12 PM
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quote:
But one last thing, WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENS FROM A KUNDALINI AWAKENING? I've read about siddhis, maturity, cosmic oneness, godhood, 5th dimensional demon possesion, as of now I'm disregarding anything on the subject I haven't experienced for myself, but I would like to ask what has everyone gained from Kundalini Practices personally?
What happens is you become a more refined, more perfect version of you. That's all. |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2011 : 09:47:39 AM
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Lohengrin
You wrote: "...during meditation I am either overcome with extreme pleasure and blinding bliss or extreme fear from the disconnection to my body..."
When we do AYP Deep Meditation and we notice sensations such as those you describe, we view those sensations as "scenery" on the journey, and we gently favor our practices -- stay in the chosen comfortable seated posture, return to the mantra until he end of the chosen time of meditation.
Outside of meditation, I was reflecting last night on the sensations of the sort of pleasure and bliss that leads to a feeling of being about to disconnect from the body, and to feelings of fear. I still have those feelings fairly often. I relax and enjoy. I still have a sort of "fear" but it is non anxious fear. Instead, it is like like the thrill of diving into a pool of water, knowing that it is totally safe, and going with it. To stay connected to my body, I notice my breathing and I notice my muscles around my spinal area, from the base of my spine and all the way up to my eyebrow center.
Be
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Kirtanman
USA
1651 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2011 : 6:51:25 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Lohengrin
But one last thing, WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENS FROM A KUNDALINI AWAKENING? I've read about siddhis, maturity, cosmic oneness, godhood, 5th dimensional demon possesion, as of now I'm disregarding anything on the subject I haven't experienced for myself
Good plan; that's what we recommend, and do, here.
And, as someone else pointed out, the "what exactly happens" in well-covered in forum posts over the few years AYP has been around. (just click on the Search link at the top of this page, and "have at it". )
It's also covered quite well in the AYP Lessons (you can search on those, as well -- just click on Main Lessons above, and then on Site Search, and put in the word Lesson as one of the search terms), and in Yogani's books.
quote:
but I would like to ask what has everyone gained from Kundalini Practices personally?
Everything.
In the Bible, Jesus relates a parable of a young man who found the "pearl of great price" - the one thing of infinite worth - and that he sold all that he had, in order to obtain it -- and once he had it -- he "went away rejoicing".
Like that.
Kundalini is simply one term for the activated aspects of consciousness that facilitate our awakening (from a false sense of partiality, to fulfilling reality).
I hope this is useful.
Wholeheartedly,
Kirtanman
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Edited by - Kirtanman on Jan 01 2011 6:55:08 PM |
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Kirtanman
USA
1651 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2011 : 7:03:51 PM
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Hi Lohengrin & All,
quote:
Originally posted by Lohengrin
But one last thing, WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENS FROM A KUNDALINI AWAKENING? I've read about siddhis, maturity, cosmic oneness, godhood, 5th dimensional demon possesion, as of now I'm disregarding anything on the subject I haven't experienced for myself, but I would like to ask what has everyone gained from Kundalini Practices personally?
Here are a few of Yogani's Main AYP Lessons addressing Kundalini awakening and related items, that might be useful:
Lesson 297 – Is an Awakened Kundalini the Same as Enlightenment?
Lesson 410 – Early Signs of Kundalini Awakening
Lesson 422 – Curing Kundalini Excesses
There are several more, as well -- just search on the Main Lessons as described above, to see them.
Wholeheartedly,
Kirtanman
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Kundalini help please-full desription
