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Quisabo
Germany
15 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 29 2010 : 2:49:32 PM
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I have been for a while experiencing kundalini symptoms, which I havent been doing ever since the spontaneous awakening about a year ago. It's hard to explain, I have an extreme drive to fulfill my life's ambition, Right NOW. I feel the urge to drop out of college because I fear that studying medicine will make me even more paranoid that there is something wrong with me. I keep thinking that I have to become a vegetarian, quit weed/alcohol, and so on. I even make up prophecies in my head that we are in the 9th inning, and in a couple of years the loving spirit of Christ will come back and wake up the world spiritually.  I keep repeating the mantra "amor vincit omnia" to myself and got way too much bhakti in me. When I am alone I dont even feel like eating or sleeping. I keep telling myself I need harmony and balance, and keep blaming myself for everything bad that is happening to me, and keep thinking that I will not get older than 33. Or that I will fully wake up at 33. Maybe it is a sign of the 3rd chakra opening up? I dont know. I never do any spiritual practices, because I'm an atheist by principle. It is kind of tearing me in two. Other people percieve me as distant and dreamy, my little sister keeps calling me a bird, which I take as a sign that I'm too high up right now. Before sleep last night I felt two pillars from my crown unite in the middle, giving a vision of the third eye. I also have a whole lot of lucid dreams, which feel even realer than the physical world, in them the weather is sunny and bright, I'm hopping around and meeting people from the past.  This is all too mental and coming on way too soon, I am only 21 and have no time for this kind of stress, ascetism, and megalomania. I feel like an MK-ULTRA lab rat. Honestly I have no clear idea of who the hell I am becoming. My relatives just try to brush it off, because I am intelligent enough not to act too crazy about all of this. I cant even eat properly, I just eat once a day, and keep thinking in numbers, I see signs everywhere, oh boy.  I'm thinking I need to eat some fish and drink a beer. I'm worried about how many time's I've written "I" in this text. Anyways, I'd appreciate some tips. Peace & Love |
Edited by - AYPforum on Jun 10 2012 7:41:56 PM |
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Quisabo
Germany
15 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2010 : 03:20:40 AM
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| now that was weird. |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2010 : 09:12:06 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Quisabo
now that was weird.
How do you ground yourself?
Do you pray? |
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Quisabo
Germany
15 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2010 : 5:50:55 PM
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| Nope. I go for long walks, I smoke cannabis to open up my chest, drink wine, go for long walks. I am barely capable of going outside of my own apartment, and when I do I feel guided by a force, that is leading me astray, as if trying to tell me I need to get lost. I think of something I want to buy at the supermarket for example, I go to get it but forget it the second right after. Worth adding is that I have quit coffee, which really helped me overcome alot of things, but also set unlock my hunger for knowledge and made me feel extremely nervous and alien here. A little too much. I feel like an old soul waiting to die. My mind is BLANK. zero. and then it suddenly sets off again. Madness. I one with all the homeless people I see. Somehow I feel just like one of them. Just sitting there, waiting for the end. And I somehow just KNOW things, you know? I dont. |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2010 : 12:41:53 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Quisabo
Nope.
I was in a similar situation as yours a few years ago.
You need more than just walk in the park or drinking stuff to ground yourself.
Consider a 4 watt light bulb being supplied with 4000 watts of electricity. The bulb can’t withstand such energy because it is not just capable yet.
In India, we have Temples where one can go and bow down to the Lord by touching its forehead (third eye) on the ground.
Or just by praying.
Try these:
http://www.proutyoga.org/yahoo_site...30471749.jpg
http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/...monkhead.jpg
Feel yourself as part of Earth when you do this. Request Earth to help you and stablise your energies. Let the excessive energy flow into ground through your Crown or Third Eye.
It might take a few times till you feel firmly grounded. |
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woosa
United Kingdom
382 Posts |
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Quisabo
Germany
15 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2010 : 8:51:01 PM
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I prayed to my goddess, and it helped, thank you a lot  |
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machart
USA
342 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2010 : 10:45:13 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Quisabo
I never do any spiritual practices, because I'm an atheist by principle.
This is a site about practices...nothing to do with religion.
Do the practices...they WILL make you happier and make you realize that every moment of this life is sacred.
Welcome to the forum Quisabo! |
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Extreme headaches and delusions
