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Neesha
215 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 12 2010 : 07:28:34 AM
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| I'm getting a bit bored talking to myself here you know....my journal needs some more interactivity |
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - Nov 13 2010 : 8:27:22 PM
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Saturday 13th November, 2010
You know what I like about AYP site its a little heaven where you can escape too....a little dreamland where there is real people....
(Hi there Trinidadians pals following me....nice of you to take interest in me, that's o.k you are welcome)
It's so unfair being a single Mom in this world and there is never any real help, only insults, insults, women have to worker twice as hard........to make things correct....
And people do many things that are so wrong to you....but how come I notice it and they don't.......oh phooey......
So now not only I have to prayer for understanding for myself but for others too.....
My students (classes I teach)always seem to get so attached to me....and they always see me just like them.....but its amazing how they just open up their true feelings about their issues to me .....its always overwhelming....and it always brings tears to my eyes.....
So here I am again...going to battle with some code(work).....and hopefully progress a step further.....
What I am not going to do ....is sit around and feel sorry for myself but rather move on with productive tasks
yep yep...that's it.....
geeee if only a coffee machine would pop out somewhere..... |
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - Nov 13 2010 : 9:55:16 PM
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| are there any guys journals here.....I feel like reading about guys stuff |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Nov 14 2010 : 04:36:40 AM
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Well, since you ask...
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=8714
I plan to keep my poetic journal in that thread above, and I have more AYP-inspired writing on my website. In the AYP thread today, I wrote about spending some time with my musician friend. |
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - Nov 14 2010 : 07:21:54 AM
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Hey Bodhi thanks......
Sunday 14th Nov 2010.2:30am
While reading I felt a change in the globe something ness, a change in the general atmosphere......
energies were calmed in and around me....I no longer had to fight sleepiness....I felt instantly alert....as if the aired had just cleared.....
hmmmm....I had my gayatri chalizas clos by I read it....wow I felt beautiful all over again....
I started to many flashes of thoughts in my mind, things that would have bothered me,people I should stay away from, people that should learn to respect me, I begin to see....with thoughts, it was as if Mother Durga in her prayers answered or arranged my systematic way of thinking....
I felt nice ...like a baby.....3:00am a mystical time to study,resolve yourself, meditate
I did however arise at 8am in the morning well rested and and not groggy. I do feel great....wow
I really should go back to my morning practices its always a beautiful experience.....
Do try at home |
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - Nov 14 2010 : 07:23:34 AM
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hey Bodhi can you post me the links here.....I hardly ever go to the other forums........
I really want to see what the guys do....and think |
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - Nov 18 2010 : 12:55:54 PM
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Thursday 18th Nov,2010
So my Grandma has passed.....just as I had predicted
and my projects are due soon....so I'm going to be pretty busy for now on |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Nov 18 2010 : 1:12:17 PM
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Sorry to hear about the passing of your Grandma Neesha.... Hope you are doing ok. 
Love!
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - Nov 18 2010 : 4:52:14 PM
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Hey I'm fine....as a matter or fact while most cry at the news I felt joy and release for her........and joy for her daughter that died also but lingered on, waiting for her
I don't like to see anyone suffer I just think the younger generation should have a bit more respect for the elders and appreciate them up to the last....... |
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2010 : 07:28:20 AM
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Sunday November 21st,2010
Wow time is really fast.......I think I need some more motivational help towards my project.......I need to finish before month end.
Hi to ya all.How guys doing?
As we approach Christmas and remember the birth of Christ, I am always overwhemled with tears of joy for such an auspicious occasion....I really love the Christmas spirit especially since it comes right after Divali..
There's always smthg different in air.....
For the last few days I have been attending wake and did 3 successful reading for persons and got a bit drained after. This is scary.....how can one really pull information from thin air? I always amaze myself....you know I can't spill the details here, ayp is open to the world can't breach the confidentiality of individuals.......
Only recently I find myself listening to non-signal radio station on the radio band in the car. I find that very weird. I have not done pranayam and I so need to. Being amongst family members give me that feeling of belonging and togetherness we all forget sometimes....even though not all of them get along........its great to see them all....I wonder is it the same with others families?
I am currently sleeping on a makeshift bed in the living room(to accomodate 2 families that came for the funeral from all over the globe), and being closer to mother earth energies makes me feel as if I am part of an illusion (that I am) and if I'm just dangling there under the perception that I am locked in a prison of body.
I need new adventures.....well smthg impossibly spiritual to do...I have a yearning for more of smthg.
tonight I have a few readings to do again....all looks into the future
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faileforever
USA
190 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2010 : 1:35:48 PM
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Agreed, love the spirit of Christmas in the air |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2010 : 5:06:16 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Neesha
Only recently I find myself listening to non-signal radio station on the radio band in the car. I find that very weird.
Hey Neesha! I love your journal.
I do not understand: What do you mean by a "non-signal radio station"? |
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2010 : 11:18:19 PM
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Sunday 22nd Nov,2010
Hey Bewell,
I think its the static that we hear in between......
Anyways
today I did a Tarot reading for my aunt....yes yes you know I had to try that...... I have been practicing sparingly over the year...took 3 months to prepare and the rest of the year to run from it
So we asked two questions.....The first always bring them to tears and the follow up 3 card spread for the second question was quite interesting....There was a shift in consciousness real time and not only I was aware ......my aunty too....we looked at her future and I told her what she greatly desired and the result of a business investment
The second question we were looking to change things towards the positive.....the second card changed before our eyes no movement ...just changed
I will not touch those pack of cards for a while.....
The cards are easier less draining for me to use....
I just never thought that there can actually be another occurrence in real time with a virtual shift in consciousness with another individual experiencing it also....it has occurred I think once.....but I think I underestimate the power of matter and antimatter....
I came to the conclusion that I can actually shift time ....well for me.....it was frighteningly amazing and outta of this world....
it further emphasizes the potential of the human brain....that at some point I knew, I have forgotten and recalled again by mere trial.....an instant results.....
I intend to relax from star trek mode for a while I wanna move back into humble mode for now.....its safer that way.....
I play some more after my projects.....
In the meantime back to some simple focusing, emptying of the mind and simple prayers....although I did jaaped earlier this morning before the reading
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2010 : 09:19:09 AM
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monday 22nd nov,2010
I have come to realize this over time and how important it is to us as humans
When we experience life we input people, situations,education,perceptions and so forth into our being and others, then there is processing aspect where we formulate our own perceptions meanings, become understanding,compassionate and learn how to for many things, how to react....etc....
the most important part is outputting this information
"We all need someone to talk to, to listen attentively, to guide us, to give good positive advice securing our well being....
this can be many people or a few.......or God
We need to relate smthg,to someone....its a part of growing and understanding.....otherwise we become
grouchy, grrrrrr,rrrrrrr,rahhh,rooooooo, violent,hurt,deceitful,unforgiving and so on.....
We have to meet with people and enrich our lives with quality experiences......in order to create a balance environment for you and me and all those around us.....
it works try it...... |
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - Nov 23 2010 : 7:41:20 PM
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I have never been violent and will never be......but observing people over 33years you tend to notice alot when you are the silent observer....
and for those of you that were....time to make an adjustment...
its a beautiful nnight tonight....a bit chilly for a tropical climate though...but I love it
and ummmm yummmmmy hot chocolate! |
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - Nov 24 2010 : 7:34:47 PM
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wednesday 24th Nov, 2010
So our Canadian guests were the first to depart, upon filling out their departure slips and handing it back to the clerk.....
as my aunt foretold the story on fb to me in a private message...
it took alot of courage for her to send it in the first place because it came in many hesitant parts
both she and her husband acknowledge completed slips...
the clerk looked up to her took the passports and there it fell out blank....COMPLETELY blank....She told me they stood in awe at each other
they then had to apologize to the clerk and explained that they were having a rough morning (not true) and went ahead and filled out the slips again.....
The explanation.....yet to come |
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2010 : 10:56:54 AM
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thursday 25th Nov,2010
I must say I posted the "regrets of Dying to my facebook wall".
You don't come by that type of info.This is what we need to enlighten each other....I wish I could have met all you guys(meaning everyone) on AYP forum some time |
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2010 : 12:10:13 AM
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so I just came back with from hangin out with the girls....I must say it was the first time I had some honest clean fun............it was totally nice!
I must do this more often! |
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2010 : 10:16:05 AM
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| It feel great meeting new people, its great dancing as if noone was watching, it feel great dancing with all the wrong moves,it felt great and jumping up with new friends,it felt great understanding....each other since some of us were total strangers..............it felt great being with people and a differant atmosphere and I didn't drink alcohol to accomplish all of this neither put me into an acceptable state for this to occur |
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - Nov 29 2010 : 08:55:53 AM
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it is great knowing me and being me. That way I can see me in other people..
I can understand people now that I understand more of me.....Its no longer just me alone but also others along the way.....
The road can be bumpy, smooth........meandering, long and winding
as long I understand and could satisfy my basic needs
I can move beyond because then I will stuck trying to find me |
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2010 : 12:15:57 AM
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Sunday 5th December,2010
I am way behind my projects but my body so accustomed to stress...that i seemed to have my words and code flowing a bit.....
today amidst chatter of my students.....a distinctive gong of a church bell brought me out of my reading mode and a suspension of breath....
dunno but I always loved the sound of the chime of the clocks in the city.....
hmmmm i thought about AYP people....I know some of them are pretty busy with xmas prep and business......I do hope ya all are enjoying the season.......
oohh I can't wait for my projects to be completed.....in the meantime I'll polish my nails to overcome the anticipation of finishing......when I haven't even completed yet! |
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - Dec 11 2010 : 09:05:17 AM
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hey you beautiful people I have not forgotten you. I just have alot of work to do....and projects move like snails.....
Christmas is in the air, however the economy is not ruined...by the recession...........however we are experiencing restriction in spending and there are many loss of jobs......as i enjoy the sound of christmas I feel the pain of many women,men children...wondering how am I to do this,how am going to get that??????
As I pray for the Govt and better strategies.....to amen the situation.......it's impossible to be merry when so many suffer..... |
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - Dec 12 2010 : 8:45:04 PM
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Well I have realized my overly egostic attitude towards my project has allowed me to fail myself again.....I will not be able to submit my project in time.....due to familial obligations, inability to understand the coding, flaws with the laptop,....
I will be submitting late, but SUBMIT I will.I seeked the kind assistance of a real friend....
it had me worried about my non acceptable progression....however I spent time trying to help myself out.......by viewing videos
The important thing i keep trying amidst all failures.......its many failures and many tries that allows real progression to occur
but its basic understanding that is exclusive to any project....
I did not resort to alcohol because I was stressed....I became stressed....
sit back analysed the situation and decided how best to move forward.......
Next week I'm going get a puppy for us again......I look forward to everything working well with that... |
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Neesha
215 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2010 : 10:06:05 AM
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Sunday 19th December,2010
So my got a new puppy....my new son,fully innoculated,2 and half months old,vibrant, yet a bit distant.
Purchasing pets from is pet store resulted in a puppy that doesn't even know what to do with a toy, unresponsive and emotionless.....
3 days now and he is being brought back into this world by the second he was eager to leave the safety of huge cage.....
animals disconnect themselves and move on.....but they are just like humans too....they exhibit similiar emotional behaviours according to the environment.....
will continue.... |
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faileforever
USA
190 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2010 : 11:59:13 AM
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| Grats on the new puppyWhat kind is it? |
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