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nisargajay
United Kingdom
26 Posts |
 Posted - May 10 2010 : 03:09:40 AM
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hiya
after a lot of time shedding surface emotions allowing old stuff to just pass i suddenly touched something that i had never felt before i can only explain as a fear that totaly grips it brings a horrible sick feeling inside and theres a feelings something is dying.
ive had this feeling a few times it seems to be a deep fear and i do tend to run from it it also tends to be worse when im alone.
as anybody experienced this and whats a good way to deal with it.
thanks
nisargajay |
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nisargajay
United Kingdom
26 Posts |
Posted - May 10 2010 : 04:02:45 AM
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just to add to this what i tend to do is try to fully feel any negative emotions i have and have found that they release and lose there power and that i have acertian amount of detachment from them problem is that trying to sit with this fear when it gets really strong is extremely difficult i have tried and failed many times to take it on.
it does feel like the breakdown of the old.
nisargajay |
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amoux
United Kingdom
266 Posts |
Posted - May 10 2010 : 05:53:04 AM
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Hi Nisargajay - the experience of primal fear is terrifying - that was certainly my experience of it. It might be worth considering this - the fear is energy, simply energy. In that sense, there is nothing to be afraid of, because energy moves - it isn't static - so there will be movement. In other words - this will pass. Bear in mind that fear arises with the fight/flight response, so you have adrenaline flooding the system. This cascades through the body, and may be felt as an impulse to action - to 'do' something.
This experience arose with me when kundalini 'exploded' quite unexpectedly. At the time, I went into a sort of 'can't stay still' syndrome, which made things worse. I would suggest to you not focusing directly on the fear sensation - I tried to analyse it, assumed there was some threat that I was unconscious of, and of course the mind kicked into high gear, racing thoughts, an a total inability to respond to what was happening within me. I'd suggest that when this feeling arises, focus on your belly and your breath, feel the belly expand on the inbreath and subside on the outbreath. Just put your attention there. You will be aware of the fear, but not focused on it. It can't be blocked out, anyway. The breathing will steady the nervous system, and hopefully allow a measure of the relaxation response to arise.
One other thing - in my experience, there was an element of consent required for me. And that consent was very difficult to give, but somehow I knew I had to trust. So I focused on a photograph of my father, which happened to be in the room, looked deep into the eyes and just 'let go' - just for a few seconds. That was all that was required of me.
I think the experience and release of this kind of fear - primal fear - can be viewed as a releasing mechanism. And your journey will expand beyond it.
With love
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mattb23
Australia
99 Posts |
Posted - May 10 2010 : 06:23:51 AM
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Dear Nisargajay,
I just shared this link on a previous post and it's directly relevant to your question, so I'll share it again here.
Hope these insights/advice helps:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZaCnyMN-Zw
Namaste,
Matt |
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nisargajay
United Kingdom
26 Posts |
Posted - May 10 2010 : 07:16:07 AM
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hi amoux and mattb23
the way you explained your experience amoux is allmost exactly the way i feel when it comes and the word primal fear fits was what i thought it was
it does make you feel quite vunerable when its there i tried that spinal breathing this morning quite calming i will try what you said also about breathing thanks for the advice.
i watched that on youtube mattb23 really good thanks.
nisargajay peace |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2010 : 05:51:54 AM
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It was one of the things that happened to me after a year of meditation. I have always felt pangs of fear and panic and they usually resolve as the problem resolves, however, about 3 or 4 months ago I woke up feeling such intense fear that I was totally confused. It did not seem to stem from any problem and felt like I was on the edge of dying, it was so bad that I couldn't even feel panic.
My cure, if you can call it that, was to let it in and let it take me. That was very hard to do. It conjured up long forgotton memories that were so insignificant it was difficult to understand how they were related to the intense fear I was feeling. Re-living each and everyone of those events allowed me to let go of them and so the fear was resolved. So much so that I now have no fear at all, it's completely vanished and I routinely test by thinking up things that would normally bring up the fears such as spiders, speaking on stage and dying in some horrible way.
I have worked with people using TimeLine Therapy and had the same used on myself. It is often the insignificant that translates to inappropriate fear in later life. Even though I had been through TLT and released fear from events it still seems that the really deep fears stay hidden until you begin digging really deep, which I suspect is what DM does. |
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nisargajay
United Kingdom
26 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2010 : 06:25:38 AM
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hi karl
when you said about letting the fear take you i can fully understand that i know how difficult that is i tried and failed a few times i know at some point soon im going to have to face it again and can feel a huge resistance in me not to bring it on again there is that sense you eel your dying felt really stupid telling people so im glad youve said it to.
the dying bit for me does seem like the total breakdown of the old it feels like something inside wont let go.
nisargadatta maharaj said quote "spirituallity is not childs play my sentences will tear to pieces anyone who listens to them" think he was right.
nisargajay |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2010 : 09:23:35 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by nisargajay
hi karl
when you said about letting the fear take you i can fully understand that i know how difficult that is i tried and failed a few times i know at some point soon im going to have to face it again and can feel a huge resistance in me not to bring it on again there is that sense you eel your dying felt really stupid telling people so im glad youve said it to.
the dying bit for me does seem like the total breakdown of the old it feels like something inside wont let go.
nisargadatta maharaj said quote "spirituallity is not childs play my sentences will tear to pieces anyone who listens to them" think he was right.
nisargajay
You read too much
It is only a thought.......'I will die'. Given time you will die anyway and the worst way to die is to die while you are still capable of living.
It is simply a case of welcoming the thought 'I will die', instead add to the thought 'I am really ready and I'm in love with the thought of dying'. It was one of the stages I had to pass through and I appear to be still around to tell the tale
Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen if you accept this thought?
What would happen if you actually, physically died ?
You already know how it feels not to exist because you go to bed every night and I guess that every so often you wake up without any knowledge as to what past during those hours.
So, surely the worst thing might be the pain preceding death, something unknown and anything unknown causes fear.
Would it be worse than the way you feel right now ?
Living in fear and feeling a form of silent agony while still alive.
That is the real death, you are experiencing it right now, it's the death of your love, it's an illusion of course but it feels real.
You are not that thought, you are a perfect creature confused by your own smoke and mirrors, living in terror of yourself.
You are bringing up these deep emotions now because it is time to deal with them and you know on some level that it is the right time and you are at the right stage. Acceptance will burn the fear and let it collapse and it's exactly what you want to do. Letting it hang on anymore than it needs to is just crazy and I know you know it is.
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nisargajay
United Kingdom
26 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2010 : 10:19:32 AM
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the really silly thing is i know through intuition that i will be ok and that this is part of the process but it is good to hear from someone else and explained so well so and your still here to tell the tale thanks
i love reading maybe to much |
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sunshine_83
USA
5 Posts |
Posted - May 13 2010 : 12:11:30 PM
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| I have experienced similar fear only few months after starting more serious meditation practice. I could understand that this is some sort of clearing process but it is not easy especially trying to observe the fear and to create that distance between me and the feeling. It is sooo strong that someone I just got caught up in it. I am trying to face it more often now and maybe with the time I will get used to it and the distance between me and the feeling will deepen. I will share how I progress but it is good to know that other people are or have been on this path. |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - May 13 2010 : 12:39:00 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by sunshine_83
I have experienced similar fear only few months after starting more serious meditation practice. I could understand that this is some sort of clearing process but it is not easy especially trying to observe the fear and to create that distance between me and the feeling. It is sooo strong that someone I just got caught up in it. I am trying to face it more often now and maybe with the time I will get used to it and the distance between me and the feeling will deepen. I will share how I progress but it is good to know that other people are or have been on this path.
Your mind fears you wish to extinguish it. It has been in control for so long and run the show without any interference. It knows, because you know, that you are embarking on a path towards something that it has not experienced and that's where the fear comes from, because it is fear of the unknown and it's so unknown that it fears the worst.
What you don't realise is that there is no duality. There is not 'the mind' and you. You cannot distance that which is you from an emotive feeling generated by you. You have to show empathy and love for yourself by making yourself follow a DM regime and self pacing when the mind starts to fire off warning bells.
You have to let yourself know that you intend to be gentle and the procedure is safe and will bring more benefits. It's like having a factory full of workers all pulling in different directions and then sending in a manager to sort them all out, some think they are about to get the sack, others think the factory is closing and others rebel and try and sabotage the changes.
Once you have sufficient stillness (and you won't really know exactly how much stillness you need and you will doubt you have it, or that it's the right type )then the process will happen of it's own, the factory workers will all settle down and be far happier under the new regime where they make more money, work less and feel they are making a positive contribution. |
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Panthau
Austria
149 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2010 : 1:57:34 PM
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I gotta admit, im feeling something similar. A terrible fear, like a bloody terrorist knocking from inside, wanting to grab all my attention. Luckily, its only sometimes hitting the surface, but the weird thing is, that its always there at night somehow. When i wake up at about 3 in the morning, i feel this terrible depression, but at about 7 its totaly gone.
If we just dont attach with it, let it flow, knowing its just energy like everything else, then it looses some of its pressure i believe. |
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feeling fear
