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Metanoia
USA
1 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 29 2010 : 12:08:14 PM
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Hello everyone, My name is Rachael and I am 19 years old. About six months ago I took 3 hits of LSD. This was truly a frightening and joyful experience all in one. During my LSD trip I came to the realization that we are all connected in some way. I knew the divine was in nature just as it was in me and everyone else. I wanted to be naked and melt into the earth and be one with it. After coming off the trip I did not sleep for about a week and I guess you can say I pretty much lost my mind. At the time I still had insurance and a doctor and they diagnosed me with Bipolar 1, but the doctor said it could be temporary because it might also be a LSD psychosis. After my trip I have not been the same person. I became extremely spiritual and I meditate frequently, usually in the mornings. I started trying to go to Catholic Church, but it felt wrong to me spiritually. The way they described god didn't fit with me. I didn't feel like God was the way the bible described .. So I left. My body is always vibrating and I have a pins and needles type feeling on my skin quite frequently. I feel itchy a lot and I sometimes get chest pains. I feel dizzy sometimes and I have extreme anxiety to the point where I do experience really bad panic attacks. When I try to go to bed my whole body will jerk when I'm about to fall asleep, so it's rather difficult to sleep now. I am pretty much a full blown hypochondriac since all this has been happening. I was 235 pounds when I had this LSD trip, but I have since become concerned about my health and I have lost about 50 pounds. I was a really bad drug addict but I am now drug free and no longer have a desire to use. I have no medical insurance or a doctor to get tested to see if all these physical symptoms I'm feeling might be something else. I am broke and I live with my grandfather so I don't really have any money to seek help even if I wanted to. I think I may have had a premature kundalini awakening and I don't think my body or my mind was spiritually ready for this. I am scared that I'm going to die  .
I'm sorry if this post sounds all jumbled up and doesn't make the best of since. I find it extremely hard to concentrate and make my words fit well together anymore. I try to tell people in my life what's going on with me .. They just think I'm crazy and it's all in my head. I feel like no one really gets me and I'm rather disconnected. |
Edited by - AYPforum on Jun 10 2012 7:58:42 PM |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2010 : 3:18:42 PM
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Hi Rachael,
Welcome to the forum.
Sorry to hear about all the things that have been going on for you. It certainly would be good for you to get checked over by a doctor, as that could help to rule out any underlying medical condition. But if you cannot afford the healthcare in the States then that is not an option. The good news is that many of the symptoms you report are kundalini symptoms and in fact are symptoms of a premature kundalini awakening. This should not come as a surprise as drugs such as LSD are notorious for blowing the nervous system open too soon. Drugs can give us a glimpse of our divine state (as happened to you), but then the body can go into hyper drive trying to evolve to meet that state, which manifests as kundalini going rampant in the system.
Vibrating is a very common experience with kundalini and is caused by too much energy trying to move through the nervous system before it has evolved to a higher level of functioning. An itchy skin is also a common symptom. Pain in the chest area is caused by the heart chakra opening too fast, or too early. Dizziness, anxiety and panic attacks are normal with a premature awakening and are caused by the crown chakra becoming active before enough purification has happened in the rest of the body (the first 6 chakras).
The jerking you experience when you are trying to fall asleep is also normal, as is lack of sleep caused by the energy in the system being too strong.
Many people have been through what you are going through, and the good news is that you won't die.
If you can maintain a healthy diet, your body weight will eventually stabilize. This may well happen at a lower weight than before your awakening, but the energy is designed to elevate you to a more evolved spiritual state, not to kill you, so it will work, along with food, air and water, to preserve your physical body.
The most important thing you can do at this stage is to make sure you are getting enough grounding activity.
See this lesson especially:
http://www.aypsite.org/69.html
It would also be worth your while reading up on a premature kundalini awakening in the main lessons if you have not done so already. Go to this page:
http://www.aypsite.org/TopicIndex.html
and scroll down to Crown opening (avoiding premature) and follow the links. Obviously it is a bit late to do the avoiding part, but there is a lot that you can do to bring your system back into balance again. Many people have found that some light Spinal Breathing can help to stabilize a system that is off-balance.
See here for that:
http://www.aypsite.org/41.html
I would try it for just a few minutes twice a day and see how it goes. If you find that it causes your symptoms to worsen, then back off and concentrate on the grounding activities from lesson 69 until you reach a more stable base from which to proceed. If you are O.K. with the Spinal Breathing then you can gradually increase it to 10 minutes twice a day and begin to add in meditation. This will help you to establish some inner silence, which is crucial to weathering the storms of a rampant kundalini. Eventually things will begin to become easier, and believe it of not, you will begin to treat this energy as a friend and helper on the spiritual path, rather than as an unwelcome guest.
As the spiritual master Solomae Sananda put it: "Every enlightened being and saint who has ever lived has been through a kundalini awakening."
People will think you are crazy, that is only natural. Kundalini is outside of many people's comfort zone, especially when it is of the premature variety, so it can be good to keep things to yourself except when you are among people with spiritual knowledge.
I hope this is of some help and you manage to find some stability in your life. If you have any questions, feel free to ask, as there are many here who have been through what you are going through and can help.
Christi
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Edited by - Christi on Apr 30 2010 11:02:32 AM |
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JDH
USA
331 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2010 : 5:48:36 PM
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Hi Rachael,
I went through a similar experience when I was 20, about 7 years ago. I ate way too many mushrooms my first time (and I fasted before eating them). Freaked out for months. Got panic attacks the next year. I gradually calmed down over the few years following that, and have been fine ever since. Things never quite went back to the way they were before, but then again, I wouldn't want them to. I would rather accept what I've experienced.
You won't actually die from this, even though it often feels like you really will. Your being will gradually integrate what has happened. Hang in there. Things will be weird for a while. But the sun always comes up again :) |
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JDH
USA
331 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2010 : 6:14:03 PM
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I just re-read one of my first posts here. I was afraid of the kundalini energy as well. Here's what yogani had to say in that topic:
"First it is only about us. Then it becomes a partnership between us and the process of awakening. Finally, there is only the awakening, and the divine outpouring.
Fear evaporates along the way ... what remains is stillness in action.
The "danger" of kundalini is in our mind.
Physical and psychological symptoms will come and go. There is much we can do to mitigate them. If we are meditating daily, we come to know it all as a play in stillness. No fear in that.
Ultimately, we find there is no "other." We are That. "
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Jo-self
USA
225 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2010 : 5:15:17 PM
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Rachael:
Great feedback was given. I hope all goes well. One thing I hope you do is not give in to "extreme" spirituality. What is extreme varies of course, but one must try to keep a light even humorous attitude about this. Yes, you won't die, but there potential mental dangers in accidentally indulging in these phenomena and reading too much into it so that it itself becomes a drug. If you go to a foot doctor all problems are in the feet, a dentist, in the mouth, in spiritual groups, the spirit.
The grounding advice is great. Myself, I would recommend no meditation at all, but that's me. I remember in my episode, my dear departed grandma said eat solid foods, i.e., no "health" junk.
-- jo-self
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Edited by - Jo-self on Apr 30 2010 7:47:33 PM |
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elgadaniel
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - Nov 02 2012 : 6:06:00 PM
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Rachael,
I just read your AYP post from 2 ½ years ago.
I am wondering what happened to you…..
My name is Daniel & I live in Chicago.
You can also e-mail me.
I do not have enough posts to contact you directly.
warm regards,
Daniel |
Edited by - AYPforum on Nov 02 2012 6:24:56 PM |
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matthew70
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - Nov 13 2012 : 3:33:45 PM
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| metanoia, i feel your pain. i had an awakening six months ago and have some of the symptoms you describe here. body vibrations up my spine, neck and head. these are particularly noticeable during the night when i wake up. although, during the first month, i had times when i couldn't get to sleep because of the pulsing of energy and vibration through my entire body. i had bouts of anxiety, paranoia, dizziness, and still have issues with fatigue. i guess it wouldn't hurt to see a medical doctor on your symptoms, however, i'm wary that if you describe what is happening to you that he/she won't really understand what is going on and prescribe something that has absolutly nothing to do with it. based on your description of becoming spiritual overnight as a result of the lsd, and because of the fact that meditation can trigger the awakening...along with psychadelic drugs, i would guess it's a kundalini awakening. i would prescribe not meditating so much if your symptoms worsen and try to get grounded by going outside, exercising, eating right, listening to music, watching a movie, and so forth. these things helped me immensely. as for the weight loss, i have also noticed a speeding up of my metabolism to the point i've lost at least 5 pounds and don't need to work out nearly as much to stay fit. mind you, i'm 42 and haven't ever lost weight except for the past six months. my guess is that the kundalini renews your body and makes it operate more efficiently. embrace it. |
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