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Jacra
Australia
2 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 26 2010 : 09:15:36 AM
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Hi all,
What ways are there for me to release any sexual inhibitions I might have, especially if I'm not entirely aware of them?
I find I have a little shame around sexuality, and going for what I want. Like even when I'm with my girl and we're not alone I feel uncomfortable looking at her body, or even touching it. If she initiates I can, but it's like I'm waiting for her permission almost.
Thanks! |
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Kirtanman
USA
1651 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2010 : 8:12:18 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Jacra
Hi all,
What ways are there for me to release any sexual inhibitions I might have, especially if I'm not entirely aware of them?
I find I have a little shame around sexuality, and going for what I want. Like even when I'm with my girl and we're not alone I feel uncomfortable looking at her body, or even touching it. If she initiates I can, but it's like I'm waiting for her permission almost.
Thanks!
Hi Jacra,
In general, daily practices tend to be the best thing to balance out all attitudes, whatever they may be .. specifically the ones we may not be completely aware of.
Basically, all discomfort (especially any kind of psychological discomfort) is the result of reinforced conditioning (memory) in your body and mind. Practices help clear out these obstructions.
"Yoga is the ceasing of mind distortions", as the Yoga Sutras say.
Shame surrounding sexuality is learned behavior - and it can be unlearned. Sex itself is natural, literally, just as eating, breathing and sleeping are natural. Maybe just recognizing this will be helpful.
As far as waiting for her permission - on many levels, this can simply be the loving and respectful thing to do. However, if she is initiating, as you put it, it would seem her permission is implied, yes? And again, maybe just recognizing this can be helpful for you.
And, I hope this post is helpful.
Wholeheartedly,
Kirtanman
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alwayson2
USA
546 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2010 : 9:38:06 PM
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| knowledge is power....read some books on lovemaking. |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2010 : 10:39:52 PM
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Jacra,
I'm the same way. It comes not only from learning, but from being a sensitive man. This creates a problem when we assume women process information the same as us. They generally do not. Although there are exceptions, women are more likely to process their emotions rather than word pictures, like men.
So it is likely that you are looking for permission in the form of words, but women won't give it that way.
If you ask your girl a specific question, does she often not answer that specific question? If so, it is likely she is an emotional processor. This type of person will hear your words, and subconsciously say "How is he feeling to make him say those words?"
Then she will answer words about how she feels in relation to how she thinks you feel.
So it is important to watch her and learn the signs of her emotions to get your permission. Once you learn these, the signs will be as clear as if she says it out loud. Watch body language, her eyes, her movement, how close she is to you, tone of voice, everything. It is different for different people, but you can learn her specific language. watch her with other women and how they communicate with emotions.
If anyone else knows about this, please chime in because this is something I have observed, and have not found confirmation of it in books or anything; only by watching people has it been confirmed. |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4515 Posts |
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selfonlypath
France
297 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2010 : 10:44:59 AM
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Hi Jacra,
Does your girlfriend practices & has experience in bio-energy work ?
Albert |
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brunoloff
Netherlands
47 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2010 : 10:54:24 AM
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Jacra,
While yoga and meditation are extremely powerful tools, they aren't very issue-specific. I would guess that "purification" of the nervous system would eventually have you handle these inhibitions, but who knows when?
I recommend you get the book "Focusing" by Eugene Gendlin. Although the method was derived from Gendlin's own ingenuity, rather than from any meditative tradition, "Focusing", in Yoga terms, could be described as a method of purification that you can apply to specific issues in your personality. I've used myself, and still do, to deal with my own psychological sh*t :-) It is fun to do, works very well, and very fast. For someone with meditation experience, it is very obvious that it works with the same principles. And it works :-) I predict it will work with sexual inhibitions.
Have fun,
Bruno
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Edited by - brunoloff on Mar 28 2010 11:06:39 AM |
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markern
Norway
171 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2010 : 2:39:23 PM
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If you learn reggaeton, especially the juicier versions, you would loose most sexual inhibitions. Have a look at youtube.
There are some exercises from the tantric sex tradtition that are very good for this I think. Most neo tantra workshops teach some of those I think. You can probably find several in DVDs and books.
You could read the sex god method and david shades manual. They are very good for removing guilt about sex in addition to making you a mindblowingly good lover.
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Techniques for releasing sexual inhibitions?
