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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 16 2010 : 4:24:02 PM
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Namaste friends 
Mostly just curious, as I find this question very difficult to answer, yet I get asked it all the time (as I'm sure most of us do).
So, when asked "How are you?" how do you answer?
For me, the first thing that comes to mind when asked this is "Who am "I"?" This often sends me into internal inquiry and I will often "gap out" for a while before I just relay a standard answer of "I am perfect thank you. How are you?" or "Never better thanks." But even my "standard answer" sends many people into awkward wierdness as most I am in contact with can't imagine being "perfect".
So, just curious, but, how do you answer the question "How are you?"
Love!
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2010 : 7:41:03 PM
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| I know exactly what you mean. Got into the habit of always saying 'marvellous', which does get some strange looks from some amd some comments from others. However it is ambigious enough to throw most people such a curved ball that they think I'm making a joke. Otherwise, as you say, it throws me into self inquiry instantly. |
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Scott
USA
969 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2010 : 7:54:27 PM
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"Good, how are you?" which is a pretty boring answer, but avoids the awkwardness.
or
"Man, I'm doing absolutely horrible..." and proceed to tell them all about it. 
I prefer the second one. |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2010 : 8:46:59 PM
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Same as Scott, "Good - how are you?" is the standard.
Or occasionally "Not so good - stressfull day - how are you?"
Or something equally as short but true.
It's a greeting, not a request for private information. It breaks the ice before you delve into other subjects, or if you pass by someone.
If they want more depth, they will inquire, and wait for three of four inquiries before you go into depth!
If you don't follow some kind of protocol like this, you will alienate people.
Long ago I found I can feel alienated and not part of the human race whenever I want to, so it's better to act "normal" and make other people comfortable.
So that includes not sharing deep emotions in casual situations. |
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Kirtanman
USA
1651 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2010 : 8:49:38 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
So, just curious, but, how do you answer the question "How are you?"
Love!
Hi Carson & All,
I find out the same time everyone else does  ... (as to how I answer a specific "How are you?" query) ... but it's almost always a standard variation on "Fine" or "Good, how are you?"
Basically, it (any answer I give) doesn't really concern me (on any level); it's more a social-conditioning thing .... and body-minds do what body-minds do, social-conditioning-wise.
Wholeheartedly,
Kirtanman |
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Balance
USA
967 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2010 : 02:27:32 AM
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Interesting question. The answer that I usually use is "Good" or "O.K." or some variant, followed by "How are you?". I've lately been present enough to actually let loose a unique response from the heart. But for many years I had the habit from a shy childhood to respond with just a mumbled "Fine". My Father was a protestant preacher, so I was always central to a bombardment of the question. I had a stock answer often mumbled with a red face. A sort of "There's an answer, now please leave me alone."
Now that you ask, a few new responses come to mind. Like, "Now am I", or, "I don't know, how are you" (I have actually used this one), or, "By the mystery of your observation." |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2010 : 11:08:27 AM
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How about having a therapeutic touch by saying:
-Is it important for you to know that?
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2010 : 12:19:54 PM
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Namaste Everyone and thanks for your participation in my silly topic
Basically, the reason this question was even asked, is because I have noticed that when I ask most people, "How are you" they take the opportunity to begin to "dump on me" about how terrible things are for them....there always seems to be something "wrong" and this is what most people seem to focus on. For example, a common answer I get from people at work when I ask them how they are is something along the lines of "Oh, ok I guess, my knees really hurt today", or "Ah you know, things could be better". These answers are usually followed up with the return question "and how are you?" to which I answer honestly with something like "never better!" which can cause a bit of awkwardness. I guess I have a habit of being brutually honest all the time, and don't really think about "following protocol" (as you put it Etherfish). I don't really enjoy saying "I am good", when honestly, I have never been better. I guess I understand the "following protocol" thing or the "social conditioning thing" (as Kirtanman puts it), but I have never been one to follow "rules" or abide by social standards.....it just isn't in my nature/conditioning.
The other aspect that caused me to want to start this thread was the aspect of the "gapping out" when asked "How are you?"..... this is something I am noticing more and more the deeper my relationship with Inner Silence becomes. I am finding that (not just with the "How are you?" question, but with other questions as well) that some questions or conversations cause me to draw inward.... that a line of questioning or a direction of conversation will cause me to go into internal inquiry and I will lose track of time and just be in Silence. I find this happens the most with the "How are you?" question though, hence the title of this thread. This particular question causes me to think "How am I", which causes me to think "WHO am I" which causes me to "gap out" and just sit in Silence with the question, leaving the person I am having the conversation with standing there waiting for an answer, wondering if I am stoned or something (I imagine) as I stare blankly into nothingness  . I know this isn't really a problem (is anything ever really a problem  ) but I guess I was just wondering if this happens to anyone else, or if I am the only one who "gaps out" over questions that send one into inquiry.....whether they are meant to or not.
I'm sure this is just a phase, what isn't, so it's really no big deal.....just thought it might make for an interesting (albiet silly) topic.
Thanks for all the input!
Love!
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Edited by - CarsonZi on Mar 17 2010 12:20:34 PM |
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cosmic
USA
821 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2010 : 12:04:55 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
This particular question causes me to think "How am I", which causes me to think "WHO am I" which causes me to "gap out" and just sit in Silence with the question, leaving the person I am having the conversation with standing there waiting for an answer, wondering if I am stoned or something (I imagine) as I stare blankly into nothingness .
Hey Carson
Maybe the "gapping out" is your answer (to them). They ask how you are, and you show them...
Silence is the most honest answer.
Love
cosmic |
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Tam Phap
Canada
37 Posts |
Posted - Mar 19 2010 : 11:14:44 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
I am finding that (not just with the "How are you?" question, but with other questions as well) that some questions or conversations cause me to draw inward.... that a line of questioning or a direction of conversation will cause me to go into internal inquiry and I will lose track of time and just be in Silence.
Hey Carson,
I hear you.. I have a similar thing happening whereby I no longer have the urge to "fill the space" with verbal diarrhea during a conversation. People seem so uncomfortable with silence - something that is blatantly obvious by just watching others - there is either a cell phone pressed to their ears or an IPod stuck in their ears and when its not that, its the TV, etc, etc. I made a presentation once in front of a class where I just looked out into the class and remained totally silent for almost a minute. Most of the people got quite squirmy and obviously wondered what was wrong with me.
I think it is the same with the "How are you's?" For most I think it has become a way out of the "difficult silence"... either that or it is a social habit. Then again, if delivered in heartfelt sincerity rather than a sense of habit/forgetfulness, it can be a communication full of care and nurturing.
Personally, I prefer a smile and a nod - to me it conveys far more...
Hmmmmm...... |
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Victor
USA
910 Posts |
Posted - Mar 19 2010 : 4:15:11 PM
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In our society it is generally a ritualized question and answer and nothing more. For those closer to you the opportunity can follow later to explain. One memorable quote is
"the definition of a bore: A man , who in reply to being asked "how are you?" tells you." |
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Answering the "How are you?" question
