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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 12 2010 : 2:45:25 PM
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Its true that when you are ready things happens.
Self inquiry is the last step here.
Last month was a very intense month,i felt something was happening.How to describe all this blessings im recieving?
Yoga asanas are helping A LOT.Well done,with a good teacher,paying attention to breath (exhalation,the most important part),not holding the breath,just releasing all...yeah,,,thats the real gift here...
Asanas are helping a lot to balance the energies and dissolving unconfortable feelings/acumulated energy.
Recently i began with alternate nostril breathing and thats pure balance also.
Im finding the key.Under control.
But the best discover is self inquiry.
This last days i decided to stop doing "the work".I have been two weeks doing hours of it.Many intense sessions.I needed it.Old obstruccions were asking for my attention.Meditation was not enough for a fast cleaning of the house.The four questions really acelerates the process.
Some days ago i decided to start reading for 3 time yoganis "self inquiry". This book is not easy to absorv at a first read a think,speacially for beginners like me. The second time,after some months i read it again (last summer),and was a better read.But didnt absorv it yet.
Now i began again,and think im begining to percieve.Im underlining the most interesting quotes,and taking some notes.
Our mind complicates the game more than it really is,and this was the reason i never was able to start with this simple practice.Its difficult to keep it easy.
And now...along the day,its working,more powerfull than ever before.
Last night i felt strong need for inquire a lot,read yoganis book and read "I am that" by nisargadatta.
A important event that happened some weeks ago is that when i bought the book,2 year4s ago,i didnt understand NOTHING about it.I knew he was talikng about very deep things and the book was great,but i get frustated for not understanding nothing.
Just keep going,forward with my practices.Day by day.
And two weeks ago,after some last failed lectures before,i took the book and feel that i was understanding many things.And it was wonderful.
These are clear indications that self inquiry is finding its way here,and finally i think its getting some space inside.
Last night had strange exoperiences while sleeping due to 2 hours inquiring,reading,absroving.It was clearly working.
Today i have been doing some inquires,just when i feel the need,and its incredible how it works.
The most important thing is to make the questions,and CREATE A FREE OPEN SPACE FOR THE QUESTION.I mean,let it go,no expectations,no mental strategies.Just be honest with your self.
-JUST BE HONEST WITH YOUR SELF-
(I recomend reading "real love" book if you are interested in katies work and have read her book.This book deals about how to be honest with your self and the importance of it.You cant imagine,how much importance it has).
Im begining to percieve,CLEARLY,how the answer always comes here,its a feeling,a great freedom,liberation from old patterns.With other less important toughts i use to dissolcve them in stillness,and its great also.
And what i feel today is wonderful.Is like my mind had a great weight before and i didnt realized it.It created LOT of suffering here.
But now i feel a physical feeling,i mean,i feel that my mental baggage is less and my mind i very light now.Physicaly,i feel it physically.Less tensions and i feel the mind is light and my mind is floating in the air.Like when you use akasha sutra.Thats a physical feeling.That physical feeling is wonderful,like a big "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"wowwww
Is very interesting to work with the mind and get this freedom.
For example,today after my theatre class i was going at home and i felt really depressed and bad due to some interactions with people.Not bad interactions,but i use to judge my self a lot and think people is thinking that im a strange person and that kind of things.
The feelings going home were overwelming (and i use to feel them very often).Then i decided to start some inquiry.And i realized one important think.My mind didnt wanted to inquiry,to help me.She felt really "good" with all that toughts and suffering.I realized it was bacause of fear and anger.Like "let me alone,those people are stupid people,nobody understand us!". I realized this and realized that this was the first time i was trying to create and oportunity for inquiry those fixed tought patterns.And start inquiring,but making love to the mind at the same time.I considered the mind like a little afraid child.Compassion.A little boy that was hurt some time ago.
I decided to be the best healing hand for my poor mind.Lovely hurted mind...
I decided to take this attitude. Ok,i respect you and not going to touch you.Just be your self.I love you.Im just gonna ask some questions and you dont need to worry about them.Ill let it go.Jus a few soft questions and you dont need to do anything.Just be your self,dont worry.
I started asking and forgetting about the questions,just witnessing the question going inside and dissapearing in all that really is.
And wow.After some minutes i began to percive all my nightmare like a dream,something that i was watching from a distance.I was watching that story.It was like an obect and i was free and relaxed.
What a wonderful feeling!
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Edited by - miguel on Jan 12 2010 2:54:08 PM |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2010 : 2:54:14 PM
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This was extremely joy-inducing to read Miguel....thank you for sharing your journey.
Love.
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2010 : 2:55:03 PM
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Namaste!  (freedom's face) |
Edited by - miguel on Jan 12 2010 2:59:49 PM |
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Akasha
421 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2010 : 3:33:39 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by miguel
Recently i began with alternate nostril breathing and thats pure balance also.
Im finding the key.Under control.
Glad to hear the nadi shodhana has been balancing for you. |
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2010 : 3:36:00 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by miguel
I decided to be the best healing hand for my poor mind.Lovely hurted mind...
beautiful! thank you for the lovely warming positive post :)
I can definitely feel you are unfolding beautifully, and i feel so happy for you Miguel.
It is beautiful to see how we are evolving and growing in this forum..in only a few months..
Namaste |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2010 : 3:42:08 PM
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miguel.. Love..
Thanks |
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omarkaya
Spain
146 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2010 : 5:46:29 PM
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yeah! feels good being the watcher of the movie,did you have enough popcorn and coke? |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2010 : 7:03:00 PM
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Awesome Miguel.
Thanks for sharing.
I like the way you called your mind "she". |
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2010 : 8:10:09 PM
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Thank you friends for your presence here.I feel really lucky for being here sharing and helping each other.I personally think ayp has a huge potential and is only the begining. I believe this place can bring many benefits to many people and change many lives.This is a daily satsang,a real blessing to have all this wonderful support and open source of spiritual knowledge.This is a school of yoga and other systems also.
Being the watcher of the movie is a possibility that never could have imagine.Would be good that all the people can have the opportunity to know the truth about their lives.The false identification with the object they think they are.I really wish a possitive and big expansion of this place in all directions (and other spiritual paths also).
AYP lessons and forums are a real blessing for the world and i think all were seeing now is 0,1% of all that will come.This is a very powerful seed.
Namaste yoganiji and all the people here.
Here i feel at home.
miguel, a normal guy living an amazing journey. |
Edited by - miguel on Jan 12 2010 8:12:59 PM |
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2010 : 05:52:39 AM
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"To whom is this experience right now occurring?" The answer is obvious: It is occurring to "I." Then we ask, "Who am I?" and let it go"
(From main lessons)
I ask the question and let it go.Then i begin to experience much presence and peace coming here.
But the answer is not obvious here cz there is no answer,only presence,and the answer cant be "i" cz it doesnt come from the mind.
WHat does it mean when you say the answer is "i" and then you ask "who am i"?. i dont get that kind of answer,I just experience the subject.Is not the answer "i" a mental answer and non relational self inquiry?
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Edited by - miguel on Jan 13 2010 06:15:42 AM |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2010 : 11:24:44 AM
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Hi Miguel....
The whole idea (from my perspective/understanding/experience) of asking the question "Who am I" and releasing it into Silence is to realize that there is no "I", there is no answer. It is dropping the need for answers. It is allowing the mind to rest in Pure Consciousness. Inner Silence (meaning a stablized routine of Deep Meditation) is a prerequisite for "relational self inquiry" because you need to be able to let go with the mind, and that is what Deep Meditation is giving you a taste of each time you practice it. If you are trying to find an answer to the question "Who am I" then yes, it is non-relational. Letting go of the need to answer the question, releasing the question into Silence is relational. The reason the question of "Who am I" (when approached from a relational stand point) is so powerful, is because there is no answer....from a non-relational stand point this question drives the mind crazy, makes it run around in circles. With enough Inner Silence cultivated, this question allows the mind to rest in Pure Consciousness...it shuts the mind off.
Hope this helps.
Love.
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2010 : 11:37:29 AM
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Hi Carson,
But im not talking about this exactly. Thats not the problem.The problem is that this kind of inquiry has two parts:
1:whos experiencing all this stuff?
....and you let it go...
And its supossed that the answer is "me".
2. Who am i?
..let it go...
then you experience "that".
The problem is that i experience "that" just after asking the first question "whos experiencing all this stuff?" and releasing it in to stillness...i dont need to ask the second question,cz its supossed to be done when the answer is "me",but my answer is not "me" because i dont get any answer,just a distance from the object.
So thats why i dont understand ramana's method.
http://www.aypsite.org/350.html
(jnana trascending part)
I think the answer "i" that follows the question "whos experiencing this" is a result of non relational self inquiry.It comes from the mind.
Thanks for the answer. |
Edited by - miguel on Jan 13 2010 11:51:51 AM |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2010 : 12:11:52 PM
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Hi Miguel...
Let me ask you this then:
"Is it the procedure that matters or is it the result?"
If it is the result you are going for and that is acheived without having to go through the entire procedure, does it really matter that you aren't doing the procedure the way it was written?
Love.
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2010 : 12:21:23 PM
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Yes,thats what i think also.Im practicing and having good results with self inquiry.
But im curious about this jnana trascending method,i cant understand it very well.Just this curiosity.
thanks. |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2010 : 12:29:29 PM
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Mental understanding is an obstacle to experiential Knowing. Let go of the need to understand and it will all make sense inside.
Love.
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2010 : 1:41:04 PM
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Yes,ill continue with my personal road.
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Jan 14 2010 : 06:30:04 AM
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The feelings that brings this practice,that separation from the object and experience of reality is great.It reminds me my teenage cz when i was teenager and not involved in any spiritual practice i experienced few times a strange feeling.
It was like a sudden awareness that i was something that was inside the body,and i was not the body.
I say few time cz i experienced it really few times,but the feeling and experience was really strange and real.It was like i was some kind of essence watching the body and this reality.Dont know why it happened,it was spontaneous.
This night i went to sleep with a increased awarenes due to self inquiry practice,and keep the intention of being aware while falling asleep.Then i remember i entered in astral body and experienced my kundalini (big force) trying to awake.I felt flashes of light and a powerfull force arising.First fear appeared,but i could control it,relaxed and it passed.
Today after my morning sadhanna i felt too much activation and nervous.Overload was coming.I decided maybe better to self pace but i had and idea:
Whos having and overload?,Whos experiencing this?,whos afraid about it?
Amazing to see how it has dissapeared.
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porcupine
USA
193 Posts |
Posted - Jan 22 2010 : 11:04:58 AM
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| Deep. There is not even nothing! |
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porcupine
USA
193 Posts |
Posted - Jan 22 2010 : 11:29:22 AM
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the I Am as in the nisargatta gita, is only held in the mind.. is it even necessary to let it go? I could build upon this I am.. holding onto this one thought.. it always is let go, eventually, because its not the base state
so whats the difference between cherishing I am, and Who am I? and simply living ones life? These meditations make no sense because they speak of metaphors, the I Am, refers to awareness itself, the absolute, the All, so even in refering it, we miss it, and yet there is no way to miss it, because everything is it, nothing springs from awareness, all is simply awareness. There are many possibilities that arise in the mind, that have never arisen, none of this life has ever occured, there is nothing but a sense of self, and now with nothing to transcend I wonder, what is this? I Am is Love manifest, but what is love? Is it a joyful and peaceful world that is liberation? To feel what we want? All of this is I Am I listen to everyone chant the divine name is all their conversation and everything, I listen to the Gitas, why? This is so much amusement because there is nothing morethan this? Any true insight or progress may come from a thoughtless and non sensical place, spiritual wisdom seems to be a form of loving anarchy, beyond even nature as commonly perceived, the common basis of all existence. I Am is this, symbolically and I believe by yogic focus has become interchangeable and a concievable form of such basic elements, it is the silence transmuted into the manifest vibration. This is impossible, impossible, impossible, the panacea is disbelief, this must be so. I am, but 'I' do not believe I am, I only am, so these words come are coincidence, not from me but from some imaginary and deeply empathetic one.
Not this and not that, and that and this, perhaps there is an arrangement of words, of feeling, of actual form that would be immediately resulting in Liberation. Is it not simply Liberation? As we delve into the animal world, is the peace there? Have we forgotten to enlighten our spiritual partners, the very other half that continues to manifest, and reverberate with the inner workings of this concept I? Is the knowledge only what streams forth from a culture and only a cover? There is no cover, nothing can cover the essence, it is brighter than the sun, but there is no light.
I bring attention to the I am, to being, to affirming what is... In revering every passing moment, will they ever return again? To meet again, Revering every miracle that comes from the mind, in the end there is no one there, so there can be no reciprocality it, it all stems from that awareness, its true, there is no true need for liberation, there is simply acceptance.
because it is only the spirit that can go beyond this, into the great beyond, it is the root guttural urge that has brought about every manifestation, and so those who speak of returning to the source, the source is here, those who speak of enlightenment, are merely poets, because there is nothing beyond this, the perception of somethingness and of me is in no way incorrect, its simply the way it is, there is no liberation, there is the stream of consciousness, it is the great mother, it is the diety, the teacher, the lover, freedom.
Meditation on non duality brings about no end, spirituality itself brings about no end, this is ultimate truth, it exists for no purpose, it is a result of having nothing to do.
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Jan 22 2010 : 11:59:47 AM
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Hi all,
I think this experiences were part of an opening process last week.Now things are getting more stable and theres no big need to practice too much self inquiry.
On the other hand i have got a stable daily practice,and the ups and downs are getting really smooth.For example,this experiences on this post are an up in my journey...and now,this week im in the down that comes after.But its a really paceful down and very confrotable to manage.
Two days ago while doing my breath meditation i reached the higher state of being that i have been able since i started ayp practices.Time,space and toughts disapeared.I was not awere of the phisical place were i was,the date or time,and i cant realize if i was a real being or nothing but nothingness.It was a glimpse of 10 seconds.It was like a sudden STOP of ALL.
Adding asanas 2 a week was great idea cz its helping a lot cre4ating very impotant balance and distribution of energies.Also,i have been able to add some sbp (1 mte),alternate nostril (2 mtes) and a plus of 2 mtes to my breath meditation (now 12 mtes).I felt i needed more inner silence.
Inner experiences are happening in a very managable way.For example,yesterday while resting i lost my awareness and and my self "traveled" to a room of my house (i was not in my house in that moments,i did my sadhanna in other place).There was a web of wihte light in my vision while seeing this.This is scenary,but i love scenary experiences cz they increase my bhakti.
And today while liying after the meal (siesta) i experienced and spontaneous samadhi experience for about 10 seconds.Some kind of white light was present,but it appears in a strange way.I dont see this light.Its more that im aware there is this kind of light.Its a very alive light...
I think im having good development thanks to the ayp principle "less is more/self pace".
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Edited by - miguel on Jan 22 2010 12:00:26 PM |
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porcupine
USA
193 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2010 : 3:55:04 PM
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Liberation is for everyone and everyone has reached it and dwells there, it is our own ignorance which leaves us stumbling in a self imposed darkness, and yet still miraculously coming round right every time, there is much that is forgotten and changes in every moment, there is a place where all spontaneously occurs in perfect harmony, this place is for all purposes heaven, it is the full self, beyond the dream, beyond the reality, and so it can be spoken of truly here, growing always, we begin to see more clearly, the light breaks through the covering, the words and language change and reveal a previously unnoticed harmony peace and contentment that previously was hard to find due to subtle suggestions imbedded in language and thought, and yet even though suggestions emanate with divine light, the alignment of energies is non existence, such is the depth and endlessness of this reverie.
When understood in a group, when the group comes together as one, and there is freedom in unity, thats when I know the least, I begin to see, without break this place, that is not a place, because I am, these thoughts have visited my mind, impregnating the womb of my soul, and now I have given birth, I raise them strong, from simple sense of being, to simple sense of non-being, and in turn they have grown beyond me, and I have entered them, all is involved in this dance, it is the adherence to this work, that is the art of meditation... and yet there is no thought and no mind, there is nothing except the feeling the notion of jetting off into the unknown, into inexperience
the temple is spontaneity |
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