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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 16 2009 : 2:55:56 PM
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Hi everybody,
I've just went through 2 recent topics here, and both mention the famous word "purification"..
How interesting, because I had the intention to ask you about this "purification" stuff today.. so, here it goes..
I am at a point where I'm seriously wondering if the pain we go through is nothing but 'purification symptoms' or is it only the mind that is fooling us, saying "let gooo, just cry, let it be.. it's all PURIFICATION"....?!
It's been 2 months now I'm going through ups and downs..
When I'm in the ups, I can't even 'see' or 'feel' the stimulating thoughts or factors that brought pain..
And today, I was feeling neutral until the afternoon..
when suddenly I caught my mind starting to build a new story with the same ideas and movies that initiate pain.
So, for the first time, I caught the mind process from the beginning, clearly.
But soon, the whole mechanism started to grow and become more and more crowded.. I lost the gap and got trapped in the same sh*t.
My question is: am I moving in circles or is it all what we call 'purification'?
I have the feeling I can stay like that for my life.. and it is scaring!
Sorry to share such stressful thoughts, but I felt the need to write here..
Thank you for any insight. |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Dec 16 2009 : 3:39:12 PM
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Hi Christiane,
Well... from what I lately have learned from this topic http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=6639
is that it all depends on how much inner stillness you cultivate meanwhile. The purification process and its ups and downs can go on for the rest of your life without you getting any more pure on any level if you don't cultivate the stillness holding it all. Then it will only be energy playing around.
Please, correct me if I've gotten that wrong, but that's how I've understood it.
Hopefully you will - by keeping up AYP practices or other methods that cultivate stillness - become more and more pure and eventually get over the ups and downs. 
I'm unfortunately stuck in some strange catch 22 where I've got the purification going in extreme ups and downs and at the same time have no ability to properly keep up the AYP practices, so I can't cultivate stillness in a functional way, it seems.  From what I've understood you have a much better stable ground of meditation to lean upon. Then the stillness cultivated through that will bring you forward, I'm sure!  AYP works for most people, and hopefully you will pass this phase soon! |
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Dec 16 2009 : 4:10:05 PM
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Hello dear Emc..
Thank u for the quick reply..
Yes, we are talking about the same thing.
And I went through the topic you mentionned (though didn't read it completely, but I knew about your case)..
To be honest, I can't keep a daily routine of AYP basic practices (d.med + SBP). When I can sit to do them, there is a need, an inner call.. but soon, I feel heaviness in the head (mentionned many times on the forum with other practitionners)..
When it happens, I naturally stop and remain with my other practices 'only'..
I can hear you and others here say: "self pace!!"
I don't have the feeling I sould self pace.. and in fact, I never had.. or maybe once or twice a while ago, when the energy was overflowing and it was too much ecstatic feelings running through the spine..
But now, I really feel drained and cold.. not so much energy is running inside.. rather the body is tensed and feel painful and tight, especially around the heart area.. (no surprise, I'm dealing with heart stuff)
Plus, it's been a while now that I lost the thirst or longing for higher energy.. I can feel nothing.. I'm just doing the practices like I would brush my teeth.. and the mind goes on running and running.. to the point where it becomes unbearable and sometimes I have to stop and cry during the practices..
Today, I just grabbed my car and went out.. it was tooo much to handle..
I just cried and shouted loud like a crazy.. driving in the night, I came to a point where the outer darkness of the night became almost physically one with the inner.. and I got the feeling of driving in a big illusion and nightmare with no destination..
The shouting loud felt like tearing the heart into pieces..
I almost lost my voice.. then, after a moment, I felt blood circulating in the hands and I felt more alive! I felt some power in the anger that was pouring up.. a steady anger, not a fiery one.
But those outbursts cost me a lot.. in terms of energy and heart..
Thank you for your presence emc.. I will have a look at the topic you mentionned again.. maybe it will help. |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Dec 16 2009 : 4:32:00 PM
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Thank you for sharing, Christiane!
I truly recognize your state description! The way I handle it is I give it all away eventually. I just say "You started this sh*t - now you take care of it" and I leave whatever comes to the stillness. Sometimes it brings a huge release and relief.
Tonight I had a dream. A drill came down through the ceiling, over my bed. First a thin and short drill, then it became bigger and bigger and longer and longer... just like in Matrix Revolutions (see link below). In the film it symbolizes the mind structures getting really, really obnoxious, trying to prevent the transition into stillness... I think the dream is a sign that this mind is fighting like hell to remain its power. And it only does that because it feels threatened...
Matrix:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tiRi959Ba4
About the ego's surrender- Leonard Jacobson:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nu5reOQELU
We know what it's all about anyway! That's always something!  |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Dec 17 2009 : 03:35:15 AM
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"You hold the answer deep within your own mind. Consciously you've forgotten it. That's the way the human mind works. Whenever something is too unpleasant, too shameful for us to entertain we reject it, we erase it from our memory, but the imprint is always there."
We wash it all away, we wish it all away, we hope it all away, can't cry it all away.
The pain that grips you
The fear that binds you
Releases life in me
In our mutual shame we hide our eyes
To blind them from the truth that finds a way for who we are
Please don't be afraid
When the darkness fades away
The dawn will break the silence screaming at our hearts
My love for you still grows
This I do for you
Before I try to fight the truth my final time
“We're supposed to try and be real and when you feel alone, you are not together, and that is real.”
Lyrics excerpt from: Understanding (Sound Asleep) by Evanescence |
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gumpi
United Kingdom
546 Posts |
Posted - Dec 17 2009 : 10:18:18 AM
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Christiane, is the heavyness of the head you mention like pressure?
You know, it isn't a good idea to hold the breath at any time in any practice. it causes high blood pressure. I suspect many people are holding their breath and it is giving them headaches. |
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2009 : 08:13:45 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by gumpi
Christiane, is the heavyness of the head you mention like pressure?
You know, it isn't a good idea to hold the breath at any time in any practice. it causes high blood pressure. I suspect many people are holding their breath and it is giving them headaches.
Hi Gumpi,
The heaviness isn't painful.. it's like dizziness, like when you feel you need to sleep after 2 nights without sleeping.
As for the breath, it automatically becomes shallow and slow.. to the point you forget about it as if you don't need to breathe anymore.
Why? because in deep meditation, you are being nourrished by subtler forms of energy.. the breath is not so much needed anymore..
The whole metabolism 'go to sleep'.. (as you already know from other topics here).. |
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2009 : 08:15:46 AM
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“We're supposed to try and be real and when you feel alone, you are not together, and that is real.”
thank you Manigma. |
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2009 : 08:28:57 AM
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Hi emc,
Dreams.. I smiled when I watched the Matrix link, thinking about you and your dream!
I won't comment on your interpretation.. I don't know if it's the mind's resistance that finds expression in dreams..
There are different kind of dreams.
Dreams are always a release..
The release of physiological issues (eat anything before sleeping and see: somewhere in your dream you will find an expression of the food you ate before sleeping!)
emotional issues, etc. etc. and there are other levels of dreams..
of a subtler quality..
"You started this sh*t - now you take care of it"
True! Only 'I' am responsible.
About stillness.. we all know this is the key to liberation from suffering and identification to misery.
I don't have enough stillness to counter balance the mind agitation.. I only had "glimpses"..
And unless it becomes a second nature, it will be difficult to go through pain untouched..
Anyway, those days I'm loosing the string that separates dreams from reality.. My reality (when 'awaken') looks like a dream and my dreams have more clarity and authenticity than the so-called reality.
My nights are almost not separating my days anymore..it feels like a continuum of 1 looooong day!
Disturbing feeling.. plus, the cold and cloudy/rainy weather doesn't help!
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2009 : 7:56:45 PM
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You have to be fully aware of all the feelings that come up to get rid of them.
Great Matrix vid EMC!- I'm going to have to rent that blu-ray for big screen & higher res. . . |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2009 : 10:14:23 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by christiane
I am at a point where I'm seriously wondering if the pain we go through is nothing but 'purification symptoms' or is it only the mind that is fooling us, saying "let gooo, just cry, let it be.. it's all
You are right Christiane, a huge chunk of the process is the mind. However, purification is real too.
The word purification has a charged meaning for some. I have never thought of it this way, but many attach a moral meaning to it.. I am dirty and I need to be purified... To me it has a very simple meaning, getting rid of blocks in out nervous system.
When a block is encountered, it can at times be experienced as physical pain or emotional block. When a block is released (purified), it will bring up the emotions attached to this block and release them. All of this is a purely physical process. The tears attached to the release and emotion and discomfort will actually only last for a few seconds, minutes and pass.
Now comes the mind. It does it's job and takes the feelings, emotions, passes them through "mind filters" attaches meanings, and times estimates (on how long this low will last) and why this is happening, and no..no.. I don't want to be here, I hope I am out of this and back to my high soon. The more the mind attaches these, the more intense the suffering.
quote:
Originally posted by christiane
I have the feeling I can stay like that for my life.. and it is scaring!
Will these cycles last forever? No. As we continue with our practices, the mind loses its powers on us. We become the screen on which the movies passes... and the highs and lows will just be movies passing on the screen. Even an opening that brings up severe reactions, will be experienced as a movie on the screen... and there can be pain, there can be crying, there can be sadness but there is a calmness within that is not touched (Harmony)... there is no suffering. Hence when that phase passes, it is over. The suffering is not carried on for another few days with the mind thinking more ways to fight the process of getting out of the low and hence keeping us there longer.
One thing that Yogani and Katrine said to me that really helped was to not attach to the highs... give the highs away... when you give away the highs then the lows are not as long and severe.
You may have already read these but just in case not, maybe something here will help:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=5006
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=6092
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=6729
Thank you for sharing the videos from Maryam.
PS: When in a low, and you find yourself struggling with your mind, and struggling with letting go... and feeling more lost and caught up in the fight.. try to stop fighting and accept you are caught up in the 100 acre woods, not wishing the phase away and yet knowing, it's a phase and will pass.
quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
I get what you were (are?) feeling emc. I go through similar if not the same thing.
I have talked about one such experience here.
I call it the phase of being lost in the 100 acre woods.
I had talked about it here: http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....D=6299#56536
quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
Before practices.. it's like your mind has a 100 acres filled with thoughts. When you start meditation, the 100 acre increases to maybe 200 acres with 100 acres of thoughts and 100 acres of silence. As you keep going, you experience your mind as 100,000 acres with 100 acres of thoughts. The 100 acres of thoughts stays there always, that is what the mind does.. but the silence increases and so the thoughts seem like a tiny spec in that vast silence.
However, when I am lost in the 100 acre woods, silence seems out of reach. When someone says "be here now" it annoys me.. because when lost in the 100 acres, "here now" is a concept that I have no accesses to. Most times I live in the 100,000 acres of silence, and the 100 acres is out there somewhere.. but when caught in the 100 acres.. it's no use trying to fight it.. just go with what happens.. the more I try to fight it.. the longer my stay in the 100 acre woods becomes. And then like magic I am out of those woods and all is fine again. 
The only thing that I have found is that, my physical state, sick, tired, PMS, overworked, diet, lack of exercise, lack of sleep, very busy schedule, taking on more work than I can handle, make my visits to the 100 acre woods more probable. But I cannot always say that is true. (Guess that is why Patanjali starts off with yamas and niyamas.. a good diet, living right all adds to keeping the mind more steady).
When in it.. I allow things to happen as they do. After my heart filling experience, I don't suffer thru these visits, but they are not fun.. and yet I have stopped wishing I was out of it or in it or around it.. I am here, things happen and then silence.. yay!!!
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2009 : 10:32:07 AM
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Hi Sister Shanti..
Thank you for taking the time to listen fully and respond with helpful links.. I've went through 2 of them in the past but I should definitely read them again..
The last inner storm lasted for 2 days (along with the outer one!). Yesterday I felt already better (and I suspect having received some warm love energy from 'angels' () and Maryam's energy was definitely felt.. and it opened my heart at laaast! I could breathe back again)
I'm glad you liked her videos.. (I was almost sure you would! and it has to do with the quality of your energy.. that we both have in common..only my feeling..)
_/\_ Big thank you and hug. |
Edited by - christiane on Dec 19 2009 10:37:08 AM |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2009 : 10:45:47 AM
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Shanti wrote:
"When a block is released (purified), it will bring up the emotions attached to this block and release them. All of this is a purely physical process. The tears attached to the release and emotion and discomfort will actually only last for a few seconds, minutes and pass."
I have heard this over and over again (people crying on the yoga mat etc.) but it has not been like this for me. It's hard for me to believe that I am the only one who experiences it differently, but maybe I am.
I don't get any reaction at all after SBP and meditation except peacefulness. Then later in the day when I am working, the emotions come up. This will happen several times during the day. It is intensified by practicing backbends, or more regular meditation. |
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2009 : 11:03:07 AM
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Hi Ether,
Just a precision (in my case): when tears interrupt my practices, it is because, initially, there has been an unconscious and sometimes conscious accumulation of emotions..and the volcano just pops up at a moment where the practices are also stimulating those emotions through energy flow..especially when it pierces the heart area..
It's not on a regular basis, thank God :)
Also there is, like you said, some delayed release..
Usually those ones are not as acute as the others.
And each one of us carries his own 'garbage bag' and the blocks/stagnation are unique to each person.
The whole work consist in 'dropping' the whole garbage along with the bag!  |
Edited by - christiane on Dec 19 2009 11:10:03 AM |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2009 : 11:09:38 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
Shanti wrote:
"When a block is released (purified), it will bring up the emotions attached to this block and release them. All of this is a purely physical process. The tears attached to the release and emotion and discomfort will actually only last for a few seconds, minutes and pass."
I have heard this over and over again (people crying on the yoga mat etc.) but it has not been like this for me. It's hard for me to believe that I am the only one who experiences it differently, but maybe I am.
I don't get any reaction at all after SBP and meditation except peacefulness. Then later in the day when I am working, the emotions come up. This will happen several times during the day. It is intensified by practicing backbends, or more regular meditation.
I don't feel them during practices either Ether. They can come up any time during the day or night. Blocks don't have to dissolve only during the practice time. The 30 min of practice time is like starting off the process, and this process continues during the rest of the day, and the process of purification continues for the rest of the day. Hence openings can happen at any time, during or in between practices. |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Dec 20 2009 : 04:07:10 AM
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I'm glad to hear you're better, Christiane! I knew you would get out of it quickly!
And thanks for the great post, Shanti.
May I ask: what happens if those emotional releases don't show up? If they are suppressed in some way, and there's only increased tension over the time. What to do?
My negativity manifested a car crash yesterday, bringing me even deeper into more circles of:
quote:
sick, tired, PMS, overworked, diet, lack of exercise, lack of sleep, very busy schedule, taking on more work than I can handle
and we can add "major economical stress" and "risking not being able to fulfill responsibilities and caretaking of animals" to that. Luckily nobody was hurt, but the car is on the dump. I have to get a new one in order to be able to live here on the countryside. I had really been looking forward to a holiday break and some time to rest from this terrible fall. Doesn't seem to get any rest. Life goes on building up the mess as a response to my inner turmoil.
Is this when it's time for therapy or something to help letting the blockages go?
(No, can't do samyama etc which has always helped with these things quickly and smooth before, cause now it adds to overload.) |
Edited by - emc on Dec 20 2009 06:13:26 AM |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Dec 21 2009 : 05:03:03 AM
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I don't know.. everywhere I read I find people trying to get rid of grief, trauma, stress one way or another - a lot of times, supressing it. I find crying is really the best way to release blockages. Why are we ahame to cry?? Why are we afraid to cry?? I have cried for two years solid (no joke!)and slowly acquired inner stillness is bringing me peace; still a fragile peace as I sometimes still feel grief lurking in the depths of my soul, to the effect that I have started asking myself if it's all camouflage and not real (the effects of inner silence)
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Dec 21 2009 : 07:00:04 AM
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quote:
So, for the first time, I caught the mind process from the beginning, clearly.
But soon, the whole mechanism started to grow and become more and more crowded.. I lost the gap and got trapped in the same sh*t.
Hi Christine
This is a habit energy of the mind that takes us down in autopilot as a conditioned response we have no control over - untill, as you have seen, we become aware of wht is happening and can look at it from the witness prespective.
If this habit is strong in us it can take us deep and be very painful. In the recommended process of not shying away from these things and instead accepting them as they are for what they are and experiencing them, I have found the following helpful:
Instead of allowing the full impact of the experience in the body/mind emotion/energy, just stay around the edges of it. It can be played with and the pain is there, but by playing with the edges of the pain instead of diving into it, the process is much more compassionate and kind to oneself.
In order not to go down the spiral and be consumed by it, the best interupter of this is to focus fully on the simple things of life we are doing (mindfulness). This interrupts the downward spiral and can allow some beathing space in order to recover the witness.
I know you are out of it now, but you could bear it in mind for the next time
P.S. On the other hand if the heart if wide open then anything can be received fully and just passes through, but this seems rare in people, in general, and when it happens it doesn't usually stay all the time, so we need strategies for when we are not so open ( i guess your've been there too) |
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Dec 21 2009 : 07:27:00 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by SeySorciere
and slowly acquired inner stillness is bringing me peace; still a fragile peace as I sometimes still feel grief lurking in the depths of my soul, to the effect that I have started asking myself if it's all camouflage and not real (the effects of inner silence)
I think that if it is REAL inner stillness, there would be no question about it. It would be crystal clear..
And I think what you are experiencing IS stillness.
There can be grief inside.. of course! but at least, now, you have gained some "silent" space from which you can look at this grief with a little distance ..right?
Yes, crying is very therapeutic.. on the physiological level, tears wash up the eyes and they get rid off toxins. Each time we experience anger or grief, the whole chemistry of the body changes and toxins are released in the urine, tears and other secretions.
Now, it's good to cry.. but to keep crying chronically deprive us from our energy.. and personally I think that it is necessary to grow more awareness, to let go the tears but through witnessing..
This is what I'm trying to learn by myself.. and now that I've become very sensitive to my energy level, it becomes essential for me to 'manage' the lows. |
Edited by - christiane on Dec 21 2009 07:39:19 AM |
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Dec 21 2009 : 07:44:19 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Sparkle
quote:
So, for the first time, I caught the mind process from the beginning, clearly.
But soon, the whole mechanism started to grow and become more and more crowded.. I lost the gap and got trapped in the same sh*t.
Hi Christine
This is a habit energy of the mind that takes us down in autopilot as a conditioned response we have no control over - untill, as you have seen, we become aware of wht is happening and can look at it from the witness prespective.
If this habit is strong in us it can take us deep and be very painful. In the recommended process of not shying away from these things and instead accepting them as they are for what they are and experiencing them, I have found the following helpful:
Instead of allowing the full impact of the experience in the body/mind emotion/energy, just stay around the edges of it. It can be played with and the pain is there, but by playing with the edges of the pain instead of diving into it, the process is much more compassionate and kind to oneself.
In order not to go down the spiral and be consumed by it, the best interupter of this is to focus fully on the simple things of life we are doing (mindfulness). This interrupts the downward spiral and can allow some beathing space in order to recover the witness.
I know you are out of it now, but you could bear it in mind for the next time
P.S. On the other hand if the heart if wide open then anything can be received fully and just passes through, but this seems rare in people, in general, and when it happens it doesn't usually stay all the time, so we need strategies for when we are not so open ( i guess your've been there too)
hehe yes! exactly.
I totally get your strategy (staying on the edges) and it happened this morning.. I got angry for a certain reason. It happened very quickly but right before I raised my voice, a sparkle () happened in my brain and I managed to quickly separate the "angry me" from the inner peaceful space.
I still expressed my anger, but inside, the center remained 95% quiet.
I totally agree that 'playing around the edges' can be an efficient strategy..
I should point out that I rarely get angry. And it's been 24 hours I'm fasting; I clearly felt tightness in the liver this morning..which I directly linked to the anger.
I was even thankful to the one (my father) who caused this outburst cause it allowed me to 'look' in details into the anger process..physically and energetically!
Thank u Sparkle for the useful advice :)
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Edited by - christiane on Dec 21 2009 07:48:23 AM |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Dec 21 2009 : 08:23:06 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by emc
May I ask: what happens if those emotional releases don't show up? If they are suppressed in some way, and there's only increased tension over the time. What to do?
I don't have a technique for this emc, other than our practices. I suppressed stuff for years and the suppression is a conditioning thing. As I continued on this path, I could let go more and more... but there is no end to letting go... the more you let go... the more subtler layers of conditioning come up... layers that are so ingrained that I did not even know they existed. But none the less they come up and have to be faced and let go. There is fear (also kept in place due to conditioning) involved in facing these, and there is resistance to face and let go also due to conditioning... there is clinging on and not believing that this too can be let go just like the million others and it will seem like a joke once it goes away... but the body mind still reacts and clings on and thinks "this maybe that one thing that I cannot let go, it is holding my life together, if I let this go my whole life may fall apart, it will cause an avalanche if this one is lost". But by now it is obvious, nothing can be held on to.. it all has to go.
quote:
Originally posted by emc
Is this when it's time for therapy or something to help letting the blockages go?
(No, can't do samyama etc which has always helped with these things quickly and smooth before, cause now it adds to overload.)
You know emc, you maybe right. Talking to someone about the fears, do help it all fall away. I have seen, when I believe I cannot tell something to someone because I believe it will hurt them, or make me look ridiculous, or it's too deep and dark to be spoken... I actually give that though more energy and the mind solidifies it and makes the story more and more real. My first experience of losing a story that kept me bound for a life time was the one about the abuse that I spoke about earlier at the forum (that you helped me with so much, that I am still in dept to you for that one. ). So maybe talking to a therapist and listening to what is being said and not letting the mind make a huge deal of it by bottling it up may be the way to go. At times just letting the world see you as what you think you are, only to see that the world does not see you like you think you are, you are way more beautiful (in every way) and way more charming and way more awesome than the labels your mind has attached to you, seeing this helps a huge load fall away. The mind is so afraid to lose it's identity... the identity that keeps "me" in place... the identity it created when we felt threatened and scared and sad as a child... the image it made of "us" and is trying to protect so hard... just seeing that the world does not see us in that way helps us to trust and let go that conditioning.
And about samyama... you don't have to do formal samyama practice, however, just asking a question once and letting it go... not necessarily during your practice, but any time of the day (obviously, not to overdo), is what I find very helpful. The answers don't show up as I expect, but there is always an answer.
One last thing... there are these two line that have helped me get through rough patches... "If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it." and "When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window". Hope they help you in some way. |
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Dec 21 2009 : 09:18:06 AM
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Concerning the suppressed emotions, emc, there is Osho dynamic meditation that has been created specifically for this.
I don't know if you tried to do it, but I did in the past, for only 2-3 days on a row, and it is tremendously efficient.
The reason why I didn't continue is because of pain in the legs I had after doing the Dynamic med.!
Also, it is hard for me to start my day at 6 am, jumping for an hour, like a crazy, whereas everybody else is asleep in the house!
But really, I recommand it if you can..
And personally, it is in my future plans to include this powerful method in my daily routine..but probably after my trip to India.
Hope you feel better today.
Love |
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cosmic
USA
821 Posts |
Posted - Dec 21 2009 : 12:47:38 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by emc
what happens if those emotional releases don't show up? If they are suppressed in some way, and there's only increased tension over the time. What to do?
Hi emc, do you do any asanas? I find they really help with emotional releases, when practiced regularly. We store so much emotion and tension in the body and asanas are great at releasing them. It's hard to suppress anything when the body is loose and light.
Just a thought.
Love
cosmic |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Dec 21 2009 : 4:57:39 PM
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This is an interesting topic. Thanks everyone for sharing and Christiane for starting it!
I agree with Christiane - tears and crying is a huge releaser. In nice doses. I can nowadays feel quite fast when the Real tears are going over to Attached tears. It feels so GOOD to cry, so I end up crying a bit more and longer than actually needed for the release. Then it's just attachment to the emotional body. As soon as I realize what's going on the crying immediately stops or goes over to laughter.
quote:
Shanti: One last thing... there are these two line that have helped me get through rough patches... "If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it." and "When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window". Hope they help you in some way.
Thank you for a very nice post, Shanti. These lines were great! The first one is what I have paraphrased into "You started this sh*t - now you take care of it!"  But it does sound nicer the way you put it. Mine is sort of... aggressive and blaming! LOL!
Hm. This blockage is so blind to me, I don't even know what it is I don't want to face. It just doesn't want to reveal itself to me. I ask and pray to be shown what the core issue is here that keeps manifesting the sh*t since several months. Perhaps just talk to a "wise guy" as Greg Bear suggests would be one way.
It's like... I don't know if my calmness is being indifferent and closed off or having enough stillness to just live it through. Like, people are soooo shaken about the car crash (quite severe crash, spinning into a pole, bending the car in a V) and are so greatful I'm alive. And I don't feel anything but a bit strange and pissed about being in a new demanding practical situation. I wasn't afraid when it happened, no shaky legs afterwards. I'm not happy to still be alive or not injured. I can't feel any gratitude for that, cause it wouldn't have changed anything anyway. I went dancing at a party afterwards and could enjoy dancing (keeping it strictly to mindy dancing), since NOW there was no problem at all - the car was gone. I just had to accept it. Is that suppression or calmness due to stillness? I don't have a clue. I just logically draw the conclusion it's suppression since I keep manifesting sh*t.
Christiane and cosmic, thanks for your beautiful advice. However, I'm in a precarious situation where any type of spiritual practices like that is a big nono for me at the moment, since I'm in an extreme self-pacing period. My crown opens at any attempt to do anything spiritual or even grounding practices. Mindfulness is equal to disaster at the moment. Following breath a couple of minutes per day is just about what I can take.
I was foolish enough to go to a dancing event last weekend and went into conscious movements and it blew me away. Had a major love affair with the inner lover through an open crown and then one of those spontaneous "transmission session" (don't know what to call it) started afterwards with one guy and the others around were astonished that the energies were so strong, reaching so far out from us. I suffered from the usual kundalini overload symptoms afterwards of course. (I only went dancing because people have been suggesting that as a grounding method plus I enjoy dancing and needed to do something about my stiff body, so I thought I'd give it a try, but this is how it goes...).
I hope the solstice will bring more light and enlightenment! |
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Dec 22 2009 : 02:05:29 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by emc
I just had to accept it. Is that suppression or calmness due to stillness? I don't have a clue. I just logically draw the conclusion it's suppression since I keep manifesting sh*t.
Hi emc,
First, what happened to you - your body-you - saddens me.
On the other hand, I can relate to the "feeling no fear" thing as I went through similar "life threatening" incidents unable to feel any disturbance inside, even afterwards. On the contrary, each time I 'see' the unevitable crash about to happen, with my eyes wide open, I say mentally "no, it's not gona happen". And in a split of a second, the huge truck that was about to turn me into a pancake passes by, without any mess.
I think the detachment from the body, the realization that 'I' am consciousness may explain the neutral state.
Also, please, don't hold on this blaming idea of "it's suppression since I keep manifesting sh*t" cause it doesn't help in dealing with your condition.
You name it "sh*t".. but we can see it as "unusual thing"..or "unexpected event".
Everything is about balance/imbalance.
There is a universal order we cannot deny.
At the scale of the universe, we are so tiny that we really are nothing! Yet we contain the whole universe within us.
What we label as "catastrophes" are nothing but adjustments to recover balance.
When we go astray, when we are not much in tune with nature, life will shake us up in a way or another.(sickness, accidents, violence, wars, natural catastrophes etc.)
My words may sound like preaching, but I'm just sharing from my own experience..now that I can see clearly the whole scene..(which I find more difficult to do when in trouble).
So try to always look at the half full cup of water, not the empty half. And if the bodymind feels tensed, take the time to pamper yourself by having a shiatsu healing massage or any other relaxing treatment..
Hope the clouds dissipate soon.. (like they are doing, here, after a week of heavy dark weather..outside and inside).
Love |
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Purification or mind games?
