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Tony
Australia
3 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 18 2009 : 03:21:54 AM
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Dear members,
First of all i would like to say that finding this webstie and yoga in generally has helped me greatly in understanding what has been going on with me for the last 1.5-2 years.
I had never practiced yoga up until about one month ago, but have meditated quite seriously for about 5 years. During a six week concentration/ vipassana retreat in Sri lanka in 2007/08 I stumbled upon this what i now understand to be Kundalini energy and it was aroused quite strongly. It happened like this...
After about 4 weeks of strong concentration called Jhana in Theravada Buddhism and vipassana, one day I was in meditation observing mostly my body sensations when I noticed a huge amount of energy that seemed to be charging up from the inside of my upper legs and the pelvis area. I wasn't sure if I was causing this to happen somehow or it was happening by it self whatever the case this energy wanted to move upward and it did. After a series of spasms from the legs and pelvic muscles it moved up my spine and into my head causing my meditation to become extremely blissful. This started to happen fairly frequently in my meditation and i wondered if I was doing the right thing or not. But anyway i continued to observe it and enjoy the bliss but did not place to much attention to it.
I left the retreat after having some very deep insights into the nature of reality after six weeks. I went to new country to get married and work full time. I stopped meditating for a while because I felt like i couldn't live a meditative life and be married and what not. However my relationship seemed to be plagued with difficulties that weren't there before. Anyway I went back to meditation after a few months with some advice of an advanced vipassana practitioner who said I was going through "knowledge of suffering"(duhhka nanas) stage of the process and there was no turning back I had to contniue to meditate and pass through it. So i got back on the cushion and straight away I was experiencing this has spasms of my lower trunk and strong movements of energy into my head area. This kept happening for a few months when i was meditating then it went away. But i started to notice that meditation seemed to put in in a very bad mood and my wife started to say my mood was the worst right after my meditation time. I started to get anxiety and panic attacks when i never had them before. Then i became really sick with diarrhea for four 5 days with no sleep and no food and delirium/ hallucinations, doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me but it seemed to go away with the antibotics. After that, my fear of insanity started to get worse as I would often have fear and anxiety attacks in random situation. Like being in a restaurant with other people or reading a book on the train, at night while trying to sleep or sometimes i would wake confused not knowing who or what i was causing again anxiety and panic. These attacks were always accompanied with a movement of heat and energy from the lower body to the head and other physical symptoms like sweating and palpitations and it was scary because I never told anyone what happening and I became pre-occupied with questioning my mental health. When it happened i would withdraw from my wife and the people around me.
About one month ago I found a yoga school and told one of the teachers about my experience and he said that it sounds to him like a Kundalini problem and i might benefit from learning this style of yoga it is a tantric school that teacher a lot of hatha yoga and other things as well. Anyway i started to research about kundalini and things started to make sense to me and I started doing hatha yoga. Right away I intuitively felt that doing asanas was a way to balance out my spiritual practises. Then one day we learnt Uddyana Bhana the abdominal suction. After the asanas during the relaxation part of the lessons I felt my root chakara tingling then a charge of energy moved in very smooth and controlled way up through my spine into the area of my arjna chakara and kind of irrigated my mind with a most beautiful sensation(I have also been learning about the chakara system in this yoga school it is a strong focus of the
practice here). Although my heart was pounding and still a bit afraid,
the pleasantness of the whole experience and the residual affects left my very happy, i could feel electricity in the ends of my fingers and everything around my was really alive also like energy.
So there has been a big shift in the understanding and reality of my situation. I am now living back in my city and not part of the yoga school but continue to practice the asana's and also was given a mantra for meditation which, for me, can be a very powerful meditation. I still get the fear and accompanied by a tingling sensation in the root chakara and in the spine, normally at night time and sometimes when i am at the dinner table. However, after it has passed i feel a lot more serene and compassionate and soft to other people. I think as i start to let go and accept the movement of energy in my body more i hope that the fear, anxiety and confusion will also reduce.
The only problem is is that im not in control, this energy has its own way of working and it can arise at any time. I would like to ask for some advice on where i should go from here?
I see on the website that "spinal breathing" is suggested for people like me. Is the same thing that is called Nadi Shodhana? I have not been taught any Pranayama yet and wonder if it is not too strong for me
Also in theory, if the central channel is free from blockages then kundalini should not cause many problems such as anxiety fear etc is that correct?
Thanks for taking the time for reading about my situation I'm sorry for the long post.
with kindness
Anthony |
Edited by - AYPforum on Jun 10 2012 8:35:57 PM |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2009 : 09:17:08 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Tony
The only problem is is that im not in control, this energy has its own way of working and it can arise at any time. I would like to ask for some advice on where i should go from here?
Welcome to the forums Anthony.
Beautiful that you see this. 
quote:
I see on the website that "spinal breathing" is suggested for people like me. Is the same thing that is called Nadi Shodhana? I have not been taught any Pranayama yet and wonder if it is not too strong for me
Spinal breathing is not the same as Nadi Shodhana (alternate nostril breathing).
Lesson 41 - Pranayama – Spinal Breathing :
Sit comfortably with back support, and close your eyes just as you do when you meditate. Now, keeping your mouth closed, breathe in and out slowly and deeply through your nose, but not to the extreme. Be relaxed and easy about it, breathing as slowly and deeply as possible without discomfort. There is no need to be heroic. Work your muscles so each breath begins in your belly and fills you up through your chest to the top of your collarbones, and then comes back down slowly. Next, with each rising inhalation of the breath, allow your attention to travel upward inside a tiny thread, or tube, you visualize beginning at your perineum, continuing up through the center of your spine, and up through the stem of your brain to the center of your head. At the center of your head the tiny nerve makes a turn forward to the point between your eyebrows. With one slow, deep inhalation let your attention travel gradually inside the nerve from the perineum all the way to the point between the eyebrows. As you exhale, retrace this path from the point between the eyebrows all the way back down to the perineum. Then, come back up to the point between the eyebrows with the next inhalation, and down to the perineum with the next exhalation, and so on.
Please read the rest of the lesson for further instructions.
I personally think you will do well practicing this. It will help stabilize and balance the energy in you.
quote:
Also in theory, if the central channel is free from blockages then kundalini should not cause many problems such as anxiety fear etc is that correct?
As you purify further, the friction caused by the energy moving through the nervous system will become smoother. However, we have many many many layers of blocks in our body and as you continue with your practices, these layers will be released and new layers will be exposed. So can we really ever be free from all our blocks? I really don't know. What I do know is, as you continue with meditation, as you continue cultivating the silence, you will find the emotions, fear, anxiety, etc come up, but you will not be affected by it. Then you can let that all go into silence.
So will we ever be block free? I don't know. Will we ever be fear and anxiety free? Yes. Absolutely. When we see we are not this body mind, then the body mind will do what it does, and we continue watching without becoming a part of the drama. That is the beauty of Yoga.
But it starts with baby steps. Getting into a structured practice is the first major step.
Not sure what your practice routine is right now (you said you are doing asanas... and said mantra meditation is very powerful, do you meditate? Sorry if I missed it.), but if you'd like to, you can start with 20 min of meditation twice a day as described in this lesson: Lesson 13 - Meditation -- Awakening the Silent Seed. Once you feel stable in this add Spinal Breathing.
Wish you all the best. |
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gumpi
United Kingdom
546 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2009 : 10:54:31 AM
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Hi Tony,
About anxiety and panic, it's hard to control when you are in the middle of an attack. Best remedies seem to be checking what you are eating and drinking, doing tension and relaxation of the body muscles, and breathing a little slowly and deeply every now and again. If these things make symptoms worse i'm sorry i don't know the answer. But anxiety does come from the mind a lot, and so there is a lot you can do mentally to ward off the feelings. think positive thoughts etc.
Alternate nostril breathing is fine. Yogani says that spinal breathing does a similar thing and it is better.
My anxiety used to manifest mainly in my head rather than chest etc. So spinal breathing, bypassing the back and top of the head, and going to the third eye, seems to help.
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manig
India
88 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2009 : 1:05:26 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Tony
The only problem is is that im not in control, this energy has its own way of working and it can arise at any time. I would like to ask for some advice on where i should go from here?
Don't worry. Just give it some time to adjust itself and it will be under your control soon.
Its checking your physical and mental limits 
Read AYP lessons/books and you will get a lot of guidance.
But there is a technique which can help you control the energy much quicker. THIS IS BIT RISKY INDOORS SO DO IT OUTSIDE IN AN OPEN PLAIN AREA WITH GRASS/SOFT GROUND.
Try it and see if it suits you:
Go out and swirl like a fakir / sufi saint... swirl... round and round.
See images below:
http://yogamarrakech.files.wordpres...dervish.jpeg
http://imaging.chillx.com/image.asp...imgsize=full
Start slow and while swirling, remain aware... do not lose your body balance and mind. Remain alert and just watch. You can close the eyes or keep them open.
Let the energy rise if it wants to. It might accelerate your swirling but you should remain aware and just watch.
Try not losing your body/mind alignment. If emotions come... let them come.. cry laugh... whatever.
But be aware !!
If you feel the energy is going out of control and wants to carry on swirling inspite of you, fall on the ground and let go yourself... surrender to mother earth, universe or whoever you have faith in.
Or it might happen that your body would carry on swirling while you are standing still within |
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Tony
Australia
3 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2009 : 9:13:34 PM
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Hi all,
Hi all thanks for your replies it has been helpful and reassuring.
Shanti
I am meditating still a little bit, but not as aggressively as before.
I am currently meditating using a mantra it seems to work well i will continue to do it for a couple of weeks then if all is ok may start to try the spinal breathing. Also do the asanas i know.
Manig
Interesting the idea of checking the limits. Ill keep the spinning
thing in mind for later. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2009 : 07:27:59 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Tony
I am meditating still a little bit, but not as aggressively as before.
I am currently meditating using a mantra it seems to work well i will continue to do it for a couple of weeks then if all is ok may start to try the spinal breathing. Also do the asanas i know.
Sounds good Anthony.
Though, getting into structured routine of meditation twice a day for 20 min will really help you a lot. Maybe that is what you did mean when you said, "meditating a little bit, but not as aggressively as before".
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adrift05
USA
13 Posts |
Posted - Oct 21 2009 : 12:23:55 AM
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| Manig, I'm curious as to how you know that Sufi whirling stabilizes this energy? When I unexpectedly had this burst of inner energy running through me, all my body wanted to do was spin. And when I let go to what my body/spirit wanted to do - all i did was spin round and round for a long time, amazingly without getting dizzy - with my hands and neck moving automatically on its own. It has been months and I still haven't figured out what this all mean, but I agree that whirling and then getting to down to prostrate is a really good active way of grounding high energy. |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Oct 21 2009 : 04:19:26 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by adrift05
Manig, I'm curious as to how you know that Sufi whirling stabilizes this energy?.... but I agree that whirling and then getting to down to prostrate is a really good active way of grounding high energy.
I always wanted to dance and spin like that mad fakir I saw in the street. He was wearing bells around his neck, wrists, ankles and looked as if he was drunk or mad. He was pointing his finger upwards in the sky and then on his heart. He was ecstatic. I was a kid then and my school mates were laughing at him as if he was a clown.
We all have this infinite energy in us that wants to dance, spin, rejoice, laugh, cry... but we repress it.
Its dangerous you know. People will laugh at you.
But once a while it happens that we set it free. Intentionally or accidentally. I have seen 100s of people spinning and dancing in the temples here.
Meditation/Yoga makes us stronger. The more silent we are, the more effectively the energy would synch/progress and awaken us.
I used to ground in several different ways. But now just touching the third eye or the crown on the ground is enough. |
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Tony
Australia
3 Posts |
Posted - Nov 01 2009 : 10:13:24 PM
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Hi all,
I would just like to update myself for those of you who replied before and anyone who is interested.
My situation has stabilized a lot in the last two weeks. I feel great. I'm constantly with a positive vibration of energy that seems to emanate outwards. It's subtle but i can feel it. When the fear and anxiety rises it is only for a brief second then it seems to vanish. Once it lasted longer when i was trying to sleep but as the energy flowed upward (slowly) it was replaced by pleasant/blissful sensations.
I can tend to get a bit over loaded with energy at the end of a busy day but it doesn't seem to be a problem. The best thing is now situations that used to cause the anxiety and fear are still there but I'm not getting caught up in them, I can just observe them with interest knowing that it wont last long. Everyday is filled with energy combined with a sense of awe and wonder at the world around me and the process i am going through.
Tomorrow i will start with the spinal breathing exercise and see how that goes.
with kindness
Anthony
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Nov 01 2009 : 10:44:56 PM
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Also keep in mind that the fear and anxiety may not be coming from the situations that seem to cause them.
Meditation can bring up old stored emotions like that and they are triggered off during the day.
They may seem to be the result of something happening, but often it is a coincidence.
Often it is just a pure emotion, and your mind makes up a reason for it.
One way to recognize this, is a lot of the same emotion over a period of time. For instance, I will get angry 10 times a day and everyone around me seems angry. That is a sign that i am getting rid of stored emotions that have nothing to do with the circumstances that are occuring. |
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Konchok Ösel Dorje
USA
545 Posts |
Posted - Nov 02 2009 : 10:52:46 AM
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| When one begins to have insight into suffering, one's karmic results ripen. One must continue with patience. You must gain insight into the dependent origination of suffering under these circumstances to see nirvana. |
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