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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 10 2009 : 6:09:30 PM
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Hi,
Today during meditation I had a lot of fear from the mind.. These last days there was a lot of fear of going into deep meditation, but I did try even though I had the fear.. it created a kind of a struggle between the habit of going in and the mind not accepting and wanting to go back out with intense fear..
Anyway to day was this fear, but I could go in very deeply for some reason. But when I came back out, I started "screaming" in my mind "I can't do this" "enough", and all this fear came out in the form of screaming in my mind..
Now for a couple of years.. I had these arguments with my mind.. it started after a "breakdown", when these thoughts would start to come in, very scary thoughts and scenes, which I've never before imagined. So this inner struggle between these thoughts and other thoughts started.. And later after a while I began automatically starting to watch my mind with intense attention because of fear, and also started doing "neti neti" (not relational), and objecting to the thoughts with other thoughts.
This habit continued until today, but today after my mind calmed down a little I saw exactly how I react with thoughts towards other thoughts..
I think if I want the mind to "work with me" I have to "work with the mind" Accept it, and let it happen as it is..
In Love and Acceptance.
Yonatan |
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Oct 10 2009 : 7:59:06 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Yonatan
In Love and Acceptance.
I bow down to that.
_/\_ thank you. |
Edited by - christiane on Oct 10 2009 8:14:55 PM |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Oct 11 2009 : 10:36:40 AM
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In loving acceptance welcome suffering and welcome joy... "thy will be done, not mine."
this is the key to inviting God's\Truth's grace into our lives .
namaste brother Yonatan and i kind of learned this the same way you did |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Oct 11 2009 : 10:51:26 AM
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Oct 11 2009 : 12:00:02 PM
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Stick with it jonatan (if there is no overload).Some inner layers of fear.
dm,inquiry and bhakti will guide you.
It will pass also.
with you,inthe distance |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Oct 11 2009 : 4:16:24 PM
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Yes.. Right now after zen meditation in the sangha I go to, I feel really better, much more flowing.. Thanks..
Yonatan |
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Lacinato
USA
98 Posts |
Posted - Oct 11 2009 : 5:40:59 PM
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>I think if I want the mind to "work with me" I have to "work with the >mind" Accept it, and let it happen as it is..
 I keep getting that lesson, too. |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Oct 12 2009 : 12:12:06 AM
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Nice realization Yonatan.
Arguing with thoughts only serves to perpetuate them. Acceptance allows them to dissipate.
The mind isn't personal though it can seem that way, thoughts come and go, they are like objects or voices that can only rest with acceptance. Meeting those fearful thoughts with loving acceptance, appreciating the value of their message, even when that message is based on misguided good intentions, welcomes them home so that they can rest and "we" can be whole.
Fear is a dear friend that wants the best for us but is just confused about how that should happen. Or at least that's the way it is seen here at the moment. |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Oct 12 2009 : 07:21:45 AM
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| Thanks |
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Accepting the Mind
