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meera
India
8 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 16 2009 : 01:29:36 AM
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Hi All,
This is my first post though I have been following this site fairly frequently over almost a year now 10months to be precise. I had a spontaneous awakening in November, after I began chanting the Maha Mrutyunjay. I have been chanting Lord Ganeshas name since my childhood, evry night until I fell asleep, and it has been a habit rather than conscious meditation or chanting. I am not sure if i am being clear. Anyway I had the urge to begin chanting Maha mrutyunjay mantra for my daughter, who has a dosha( though I have never visited an astrologer ),it was just an inner urge which i had been putting off for some time, within 20 days i had an awakening in my sleep. I awoke to find a disk -silver grey whirring up my spine and exploding at particular points which i later learnt were the chakras.I could see this happening inside myself and I awoke and sat up wondering what had happened.I found that I Was also chanting Om shree Ganeshaya namaha when this happened.I tried to go back to sleep telling myself that it was just a dream but I just couldnt. Out of habit again i lay down and started chanting lord Ganeshas name and this disc went up again explodingvery large and in a golden ball at my heart before it exploded at my throat and somewhere in my head.
The next morning when i related my experience to my husband he told me that he had a dream - he dreamt that a huge snake was coiling around me and he was fighting it trying to save me.WE knew nothing about the Kundalini till then, definately not my husband who is almost an atheist actually- though i remembered my mother dabbling in all this in my childhood and i vaguely remembered her mentioning something about a snake which lay dormant within all of us which i had then as a child found very strange!
Life changed after that, I identify with what Shanti writes,I went overboard with my chanting-many rounds of malas etc which only inreased the hypersensitivity and all the negative signs- depersonalisation, detachment, isolation, headaches etc etc etc=dreams visions and i thought i was going mad. That prompted me to research my expereiences and symptoms. I learnt a lot and came across this site. It was like a light in the darkness.Thank goodness! I learnt about self pacing etcand reduced the chanting/meditation.But it is only now that Ive begun spinal breathing and it has made a world of difference!A couple of weeks ago i also had the urge to begin with amaroli(low dose ) and its exactly like some weak spaces inside me have begun filling up!
I have not been able to add I AM yet -I dont know where to fit in- I cant give up on Om shree Ganeshaya namaha-its like my ishta has given me this gift and I could never give it up and i feel i need to chant the Maha Mrtuyunjaya for my daughter/family, and if i exceed around 20 mins i have symptoms of overload.I would also appreciate any thoughts on including I AM in my schedule.
I have a questionthat has been bothering me.I am not sure if this is the right place to write this -I mean do I have to start a new post/thread ?anyway, though i am fairly new to all these practices and at best am only trynig to find a stable base yet-I have begun to be plagued by pimples since the awakening more on the left side of the face.Even when I stopped chanting entirely the pimples continued. I find acne at my age embarrassing and bothersome having had a relatively pimple free teenage! I have experimented with my diet and this summer when i ate a lot of melons and cooling fruit the pimples vanished only to reappear now.From some of the lessons I learnt that the digestive fire is kindled and that increases the heat in the body?ON one occasion Eating one egg caused 3-4 pimples the next morning!(I was experimenting with heavier food to ground myself and egg seemed to be heavier than my predominantly vegetarian diet).
I would highly appreciate any information a)on my symptoms of acne b)what would be considered heavier in a vegetarian diet? c)would giving up tea increase the rate of purification(is it considered tamasic/whatever? I had given up tea/coffee when my awakening occured)
I would also highly appreciate any thoughtsabout my initial experience- like why was the explosion at the heart much larger even filling my body compared to the explosions at the other chakras.Were my chakras opened after that? what did it mean?Though I know we should not focus on experiences I really am curious.
Lastly I would like to thank Yogani and all members here for all the lessons,guidance,interaction, support and even just being there to listen.Its a big relief to be even be able to write about all this stuff.(I find it difficult to write/speak about issues-i think my doubts are silly in comparison to all the deep stuff and though I have been debating whether to begin and how to join a converstion/thread as it is called i guess for quite some time now, I have been able to do it only today)
Love you all! |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Sep 16 2009 : 09:42:55 AM
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Welcome to the forums Meera.
I can't help much but eating more raw vegetables (like salad) usually helps with skin conditions. Sometimes spiritual awakenings can cause the body to purify itself more, so it may be a temporary condition.
The reason one explosion would be bigger than another is probably a personal thing, caused by whatever karma and stored emotions you have from past experiences and how you reacted to them.
I'm sure other people can help you more. |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Sep 16 2009 : 09:48:57 AM
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Hi meera and welcome to the AYP forums!
Thanks for being so open and honest right off the bat...you will fit in nicely around here 
At this point it doesn't sound like you need to be adding the Deep Meditation practice. If you are already overloading with chanting your mantra for more then 20 minutes, then no need to push yourself further in that direction. And if you aren't willing (or able) to stop using your current practice in favor of Deep Meditation, it doesn't sound to me like there will be room for it, and that's ok. If you can use Spinal Breathing Pranayam with good effect though that is great, continue on! Perhaps in the future (should things start to settle down for you) Samayama will be a good practice to start.
About the acne. I went through a period of pretty severe acne several years ago, but this wasn't yoga related, nor diet related but mostly drug side effects and being unable to stop focussing on them. My acne went away when I stopped caring about whether I had acne or not. Accepting that I had acne (even at my age) was what I found to help. Don't know if that will help you. Have you gone to see a dermatologist? (oh, and if it is only on one side of your face, perhaps you should wash your pillowcase more often? Not sure)
About the "heart explosion" and why it was bigger then the other chakras.....can't say for sure, but I can tell you that when "Shiva" coming down from the crown and "Shakti" coming up from the root meet at the heart, there is a major "heart explosion"....perhaps this is what occured?
Not sure if this helps at all. Normally I would be able to put more time into this post, and would have done so, but today I am having the executives from my company visit my worksite and inventory my entire stock (I run a warehouse basically) so I am a bit rushed. Hope to read more from you soon!
Love,
Carson |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Sep 16 2009 : 12:01:14 PM
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Oh yes, drink at least two liters of water every day, sipping it, not all at once. Tea and other drinks don't count - it has to be pure water. Not distilled - that is very bad for you as it leeches minerals out of your body. But either tap water, filtered tap water, or bottled water is good.
Top models drink a couple gallons and claim it is good for their skin, but I think that is over-doing it. If you drink too much your body holds it waiting for some impurity to flush out.
Sounds like your diet is good already. If you are already eating 85% of your diet (preferably organic) vegetables, much of that raw green leafs and drinking water, either the condition is temporary clearing out, or you may have an allergy to something like dairy, wheat, or other white grains like rice, or a spice. Try cutting our one thing at a time for a week.
But also keep in mind it may not be diet, and may go away on its own from spiritual purification. |
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meera
India
8 Posts |
Posted - Sep 16 2009 : 1:17:20 PM
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Thank U Etherfish and Carsonzi!
It did cross my mind that my pillowcase had something to do with it and I did consult a dermatologist and I have tried antibiotics, retino A, aziderm, facewashes etc etc but nothing helped.Raw fruits and water did help but there are days when I skip it!I think it does have something to do with the purification, because the first 2 days of amaroli caused a new breakout after which it has settled.I hope amaroli helps- though it was an inner urge that made me try it and it has helped me more at other levels-I just feel different more sure about myself, life and the cards that have been dealt out!
I have another question about spiritual practices as well - will engaging in all this cause the sanchita karma to flow into this life?So would one be causing unfortunate situations to flow into this lifetime? - though in one way after an awakening one is probably less affected and detached and circumstances dont affect you the way they did before, so is one beyond the influences of past karma? Yet circumstances do affect us right ? maybe not to the same extent because one can see the bigger picture and when shades of the silent witness arises one is more peaceful,perhaps when the inner silence is constant one would not be affected at all ? Yet if our sanchita karma flows into this birth wouldnt it affect our family for example- even if we were theoretically immune to its effects .Am I sounding incoherant and confused? .
Inshort would attracting my sanchita karma into this lifetime affect the karmas of other peoplein contact with me( read family)?
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Edited by - meera on Sep 16 2009 2:06:57 PM |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Sep 16 2009 : 2:11:31 PM
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Hi meera.....
quote:
Originally posted by meera
It did cross my mind that my pillowcase had something to do with it and I did consult a dermatologist and I have tried antibiotics, retino A, aziderm, facewashes etc etc but nothing helped.Raw fruits and water did help but there are days when I skip it!I think it does have something to do with the purification, because the first 2 days of amaroli caused a new breakout after which it has settled.I hope amaroli helps- though it was an inner urge that made me try it and it has helped me more at other levels-I just feel different more sure about myself, life and the cards that have been dealt out!
Well here's hoping that this works itself out soon. Try not to stress about it too much....everything happens for a reason and there is a lesson to be learned here. Once the lesson is learned this too shall pass....at least that is how things have worked for me.
quote:
Originally posted by meera
I have other questions about spiritual practices as well - like will engaging in all this cause the sanchita karma to flow into this life? So would one be causing unfortunate situations to flow into this lifetime?
Correct me if I am wrong and misunderstanding your question, but you are asking whether or not engaging in a(n effective) sadhana will cause the karma from your past lives to start manifesting itself, right? What I have come to experience through this journey so far is that karma only has as much effect on you as you give it. Basically my experience is that karma is a result of self-judgements. Once those self-judgements are let go of, so is the karma. But while at the point where one is still judging one's actions (basically still acting from the perspective of "this is "me" doing this" as opposed to "this is happening") there will still be "karma". And an effective sadhana will bring to the surface the things that are in need of attention/non-attention. An effective sadhana also gives you the tools necessary to "see through/work through/purified yourself of, this karma.
quote:
Originally posted by meera
Inshort would attracting sanchita karma into this lifetime affect the karmas of other people( read family)?
In short, everyone has their own karma.
quote:
Originally posted by meera
Another question that Ive had is how chanting the Maha Mrutyunjay mantra in my mind couldve helped my daughter ? (She is 5 and has a kala sarpa dosha. I had dismissed this as mumbo jumbo until she was old enough to relate the contents of her bad dreams and I realised it had a lot to do with snakes! ), She has definitely begun sleeping more peacefully since then and rarely has nightmares.Though AYP doesnt really subscribe to mantra meditation i would really appreciate any ideas on this.
I wish I knew how chanting this mantra helps your daughter, but I don't. But if it helps her, why not continue!?!. I don't know anymore about kala sarpa dosha then what I have just read from the sites that came up when I googled it just now, but in my experience everything happens for a reason. Your daughter having this illness, you recieving this mantra, your daughter being born to you, everything....nothing happens by chance. Do your best to stay balanced, centered and silent within (by having an effective sadhana) and Surrender to what Is.
Wishing you and your daughter both a smooth transition from this period.
Love,
Carson |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Sep 16 2009 : 2:44:54 PM
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Hi meera, welcome
quote:
Correct me if I am wrong and misunderstanding your question, but you are asking whether or not engaging in a(n effective) sadhana will cause the karma from your past lives to start manifesting itself, right? What I have come to experience through this journey so far is that karma only has as much effect on you as you give it. Basically my experience is that karma is a result of self-judgements. Once those self-judgements are let go of, so is the karma. But while at the point where one is still judging one's actions (basically still acting from the perspective of "this is "me" doing this" as opposed to "this is happening") there will still be "karma". And an effective sadhana will bring to the surface the things that are in need of attention/non-attention. An effective sadhana also gives you the tools necessary to "see through/work through/purified yourself of, this karma.
Great post Carson!
I don't know if past life karmas come to this life if you do the practices, but I agree that you see more of your inner aspects, behaviours, and actions and their consequences when you pracice and become more aware. And you can accept them and then they "refine" into something more beautiful. And the practices help be more equanimous to what's happening, as the witness becomes more present.
have a happy path.
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Edited by - Yonatan on Sep 16 2009 2:48:49 PM |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Sep 16 2009 : 4:21:15 PM
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Raw fruit is not as good for the skin as raw green leafy vegetables. The sugar from the fruit aggravates reactions sometimes.
Past life karma is something you have to deal with eventually, there is no getting around it. however, as you said there is a sort of "immunity" that develops, where you can't stop it, but it doesn't bother you as much. Anything that brings up past karma is better for your purification.
If it is brought up too fast, you will know and can self-pace. Otherwise bring it on, and get rid of it forever. |
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meera
India
8 Posts |
Posted - Sep 17 2009 : 04:00:53 AM
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Thank you CarsonZi,Yonatan and Etherfish!
As i pondered over my question this morning a synchronous event just occurred, i opened a book to go through and the 4th line on the page I just flipped open said- 'the spiritual process is all about dropping the whole stock -the sanchita karma'(!)How very appropriate!
Yes,I think I see it-the key seems to be in developing Awareness/Inner silence/the silent witness constantly inevery situation!So as you put it an effective sadhana is giving us the tools to deal with itanyway-enhancing the presence of unshakable Inner silence.And withtime i guess self pacing skills will refine as well.
Thank you guys!
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porcupine
USA
193 Posts |
Posted - Sep 18 2009 : 02:29:43 AM
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it is delightfully clear to me..the heart chakra exploded because, its the first non dual chakra, it is love which has no boundaries where two are seen to be one
shiva and shakti
joining
love which is everywhere in all places
do you think your heart ends in your body?
the heart is everywhere in all places
all things resound in love
harmonious like the endless days
dancing eternal peace
one could see love as the highest and lowest
so its in the middle, the center
closest to all
blue and yellow, mixing make green.. purple and orange.. make something, and violet and red, make kind of a purple
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Sep 18 2009 : 08:36:00 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by meera
Thank you CarsonZi,Yonatan and Etherfish!
As i pondered over my question this morning a synchronous event just occurred, i opened a book to go through and the 4th line on the page I just flipped open said- 'the spiritual process is all about dropping the whole stock -the sanchita karma'(!)How very appropriate!
Yes,I think I see it-the key seems to be in developing Awareness/Inner silence/the silent witness constantly inevery situation!So as you put it an effective sadhana is giving us the tools to deal with itanyway-enhancing the presence of unshakable Inner silence.And withtime i guess self pacing skills will refine as well.
Thank you guys!
Where is the "thumbs up" icon when you need it?
Beautiful Meera.
I hope you enjoyed your "i am" meditation. I know you said you "I have not been able to add I AM yet -I dont know where to fit in- I cant give up on Om shree Ganeshaya namaha-its like my ishta has given me this gift and I could never give it up" . I have a kali mantra too that I do japa on. However, the 20 min in the morning and 20 min in the evening when I meditate, I do the procedure described by Yogani in the lessons. I say my kali mantra as a separate japa practice.. but the deep meditation part I stick to "i am". What I believe in is those 20 min twice a day we use to cultivate the silence, then I can use this silence to reach Ma during the rest of the day. I am really glad you are going to try this.
Also,"i feel i need to chant the Maha Mrtuyunjaya for my daughter/family, and if i exceed around 20 mins i have symptoms of overload.", I would suggest get a CD of the Maha Mritunjay mantra, and play it in front of a picture of your daughter. My dad has done this for some and it is very effective he says. This way, you don't have to overload due to the mantra, and yet it is a matter of the vibrations of the mantra reaching your daughter.. so this could work for you.
Thanks again for posting your questions. Wish you all the best. |
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cosmic
USA
821 Posts |
Posted - Sep 18 2009 : 9:43:19 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
Where is the "thumbs up" icon when you need it?
d==b
"Thumbs down" would be:
q= =p |
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Akasha
421 Posts |
Posted - Sep 19 2009 : 11:28:34 AM
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I never did quite work out how one did that prayer symbol icon thingie
/\
/ \
Not identical.
No,wait a minute.It displays identically.
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Edited by - Akasha on Sep 19 2009 11:31:34 AM |
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meera
India
8 Posts |
Posted - Sep 27 2009 : 04:15:14 AM
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Dear Shanti,
Thanks! I can now see the I AM as a part of the process to reach my ishta and not as a substitute!I am still on about 5-7mins of I AM now but am sure I will be able to work my way up. My initial experience was that it went well with the breathing- I :inspire and AM: expire, almost a continuation of SBP,then i had to remind myself this was not encouraged. A couple of sessions into I AM it was independent of breathing closer to the breathing out.
And its like IAM,IAM,IAM after a few times its like IAM? IAM?(thoughts -am I? am I ?)... and then its I AM!! (perhaps i am!) ( I havent yet developed a relationship with the mantra probably because its a concept or sound energy i havent yet entirely identified myself with-so i also find extraneous thoughts coming in with a greater frequency, WIth my regular japa when thoughts do come besides the mundane thoughts ,quite often i find myself communicating with God or have overwhelming feelings of devotion)
Another point that ive noticed is that the mantra seems to reverberate in my head -I cant quite describe the feeing- maybe the sound of AM resonates in my head? is this quite normal?
I must admit that i havent been regular in my practice this week and missed yesterday.I wonder why have this attachment to a couple of hours of extra sleep on the weekend that sends my schedule haywire or does it come up when i make a new resolve?(inner resistance?-i was planning to devote more time to practice, reading,etc this weekend!)On the positive side i have ditched my attachment to my evening dose of caffeine!
Thank you again! |
Edited by - meera on Sep 27 2009 04:42:01 AM |
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meera
India
8 Posts |
Posted - Sep 27 2009 : 04:49:18 AM
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Another experience i had earlier this week -I fell asleep for a short while after i got back from work and when i woke up i felt a warm golden glow around me, i was not quite awake and lay back enjoying the feeling that i was loved at great peace and looked after by this glow. Then my mind clicked on and i began wondering if this was just my imagination or was it a real experience and did i normally feel this way when i wake up etc...I was also analysing if this glow was around me, or a part from within, By the time i was fully awake this glow had disappeared. After which i was left with a lingering feeling that it was God i had experienced and i had this feeling rather knowing that God is always with us around us but we (perhaps I )was never sensitive enough to recognise the fact that we are always in the presence of a loving God(perhaps in us ?).I began to look back my entire life and like the quote from "Footprints"realised that many times things couldve been much worse and actually God has lifted us through so many situations our entire life.
Though i have no way of knowing if it was my imagination playing up- i am thankful for this 'experience' I feel more secure and loved! |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Sep 27 2009 : 09:01:06 AM
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Everything you describe is a normal process. You don't have to develop a relationship with the mantra, the mantra will do that for you. You just use it as a tool to reach silence again and again. It's like having a favorite knife to cut vegetables with, it's not like you pick one and think to yourself this will be my favorite knife and it will feel perfect when I cut the veggies with it.. you use the knife and soon you get comfortable with it and gets the work done. I have many knives at home.. but the one that is my favorite came from a dollar store. So just keep using "i am", and it will become a comfortable tool to go into deeper and deeper silence. Not necessarily during meditation (altho that will happen too), but in your every day life. Then you will have access to your ishta all the time. Anytime you realize you are analyzing your practice, judging your session, just go back to the mantra.
quote:
when i woke up i felt a warm golden glow around me, i was not quite awake and lay back enjoying the feeling that i was loved at great peace and looked after by this glow.
i was left with a lingering feeling that it was God i had experienced and i had this feeling rather knowing that God is always with us around us but we (perhaps I )was never sensitive enough to recognise the fact that we are always in the presence of a loving God(perhaps in us ?)
Yes, god is always in us, we are looking through god's eyes, god is us.. we are all just extensions of the divine.
Lovely experience. You will have many more like this. May not be exactly the same form, so don't get attached to the form.. just continue with a structured practice and you will have many many beautiful experiences. All god wants is for each one of us to realize we are god. So any chance you give god to show you that, by cultivating silence, god will show you the divine in you. Enjoy!!!
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Sep 27 2009 : 4:39:58 PM
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Wow, really nice post Shanti
I agree, and happy practicing meera!!
Yonatan |
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