I received an email today.....from a beautiful soul full of Bhakti.....and also pain. Most times...words are so limited....but through the openness in that email...and in responding to it.....the way surrender is felt here... surfaced. So... just felt like sharing with you....what the word surrender....what it experiencially ......over the years....has come to mean here.....
Please Love....do not take any cup away from me....again and again whenever I have surrendered to what is happening....when I have stopped wishing for things to be otherwise....You have come through. And then it has always been evident that You were never gone. It was I that left.....through thinking and feeling that things are not progressing the way they should (and reacting to these thoughts and emotions because I believed them). So please continue to teach surrender......to let your unfolding through this body and soul happen as it already is....in the tempo that already is. Please let me be able to bear any pain and see it for what it is: Your way of opening the heart and melting the stubbornness into yourself so that we can directly experience that we are One Love."
The love for Love.......to stay in this love....to look at everything as if it is Love I am looking at - also when I don't see this - it is the greatest bliss......To look at judgements (in here and over there) this way too.......to embrace the emotions...to let them stay (since they were brought here by You in order for me to wake up to the Love that You are)......but to not let the surfacing of them believe that something is wrong. To accept them......but not believe You are lost in them.... To only lose the misunderstanding. They always dissolve in this acceptance......since in the relaxed state Love and Silence are felt to be One and the same. When I am quiet....noice or not....all is always well.
Through all the years of always being glued to both sides of the brink of overload from Your energy.....and whenever reluctantly having to decrease the sitting practices because of this (Deep Meditation, Spinal Breathing Pranayama and Samyama)......You never took away the possibility of surrender.......and though I am stubborn and it took a long time before I understood the depth of this....grace ( and still forgets it) .....You never retreated. You never failed to be here....
Surrender is something I can not-do through-out the day. And it never brought overload. On the contrary...it soothed it. This is a beautiful fact......that one can give one's heart to Love (accepting whatever is taking place).........and that this will make one relax and enjoy life instead of identifying with the inner bickering....surrender makes the mind dip into the heart...and one becomes quiet...
And in this enjoying...Love is. And in the pain of the breaking....Love is. All is Love.....
And when bowing to You....all over the place...trust is born in the absence of that which was thought to be broken.
And then it is seen that Wholeness is That which is Holy and singularly NOTHING
So blessed is the surrendering to the breaking open of the heart....
quote:Beautiful. Surrender, self-abandonment, is all. All useful practices are mechanisms of surrender, deeper and deeper surrender.
Yes...that is the beauty of it...deeper and deeper surrender.
You know......what has taken so long to see here....is that self-abandonment.....it only worked up to a point.
When one comes right down to it....to the bare essentials.....self-abandonment......it does somehow not dissolve the self.....does not melt the egoic will.....
But self-acceptance.....this simple....embrace.... of the totality of self......to acknowledge all of it at once...to beforehand be always guilty as charged (I am so new to this....so it will take as long as it takes....but that matters not at all anymore).....from a place of....surrender to the fact of the whole of the human aspect....this somehow changes everything.......
Because there really is only one self.....whether small or big....it is the same Love in creation. After all I always am.....and there was never anything but. Everything is made of love.....even that which I wished to abandon....that...and the wish itself...all is Love.
So surrendering to not abandon that which is appearantly not of Love....from here...the Love can reach it.
And in this touch....one melts into the other.....and all is One.
To look at judgements (in here and over there) this way too.......to embrace the emotions...to let them stay (since they were brought here by You in order for me to wake up to the Love that You are)......but to not let the surfacing of them believe that something is wrong. To accept them......but not believe You are lost in them.... To only lose the misunderstanding. They always dissolve in this acceptance......since in the relaxed state Love and Silence are felt to be One and the same. When I am quiet....noice or not....all is always well.
This is a beautiful fact......that one can give one's heart to Love (accepting whatever is taking place).........and that this will make one relax and enjoy life instead of identifying with the inner bickering....surrender makes the mind dip into the heart...and one becomes quiet...
I will let silence tell you how beautiful those words and insights are. _/\_
Surrender
Posted - Sep 11 2009 : 05:35:41 AM
