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brother neil
USA
752 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 22 2009 : 8:51:48 PM
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lately I have been ore aware of ingluences people have on each other. SO today I was playing golf wiht a friend, we were very relaxed, playing well, having a good time. then it was as if we both shifted, a more stressfull state. So I kept thinking it was me who went from relaxed to unrelaxed. thinking it was my fault and wondering how to shift back. after the round he told me of a phone call he got during the round that had to do with business that he was stressed about. So my thought seems to maybe have been wrong.
who shifted who does not matter, irrelevant. however what do you do in a situation where you feel the negative presence of others? thanks
Neil
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Jun 22 2009 : 11:06:06 PM
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You get them to talk about their feelings. This usually relieves the tension, but if not, they will at least feel a little closer to you.
With guys like your situation, I would just ask "What are you stressed about?", then often they say "nothing" and you have to tell them you know there is something, can you talk about it because it's bothering me now?
Or if they are someone of few words, just say "bad phone call?" and they say "yeah." and that's all they will say, but you both will feel a little better.
I have learned to help people feel a little better without having to intrude on their business. They will tell you more if they want.
The other day I was going to exercise with a friend and she looked down. I said "You look quiet today"
She said "Yeah."
I said "are you sad too?
She said "yeah."
I said "Maybe if you sweat it out you will feel a little better."
She said "yeah maybe."
People feel a little better just saying what they feel, and we felt a little closer because of it. I didn't want to intrude on her business. if it had been a more private setting I would see if she could talk more. |
Edited by - Etherfish on Jun 22 2009 11:15:02 PM |
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sagebrush
USA
292 Posts |
Posted - Jun 23 2009 : 01:41:55 AM
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this topic made me squeemish right off the tee.
what if my energy is not good, but I want it to be.
what if I can't always be good energy.
when will it be ok in the sandtrap.
or when the ball gets lost in the woods.
the thing is trying to get people to be ok with me is insanity.
I just want to pinch the grass and throw a little of the grass into the blowing wind and have that be how
.it.is.....whichever way the wind blows.
what if I am just making myself miserable and unnecessarily worried over nothing? or over looking something.
no- none of that-
just relax
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Jun 23 2009 : 05:26:14 AM
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In my experience being able to accept and experience energy no matter if it's yours or someone else, transforms and transmutes it. Many times during the day when I'm next to a person that has negative energy (I feel it coming from them), if I'm able to experience it and accept it, I feel it disperses, so your presence and how you relate to the energy coming from others affect it also.. I think that's what good listeners or therapists do, they just let others' energy come into them and that way it transmutes it..
Love
ps..
Though sometimes it may be a bit, or a lot overloading if there isn't an ability to hold others' energy.. |
Edited by - Yonatan on Jun 23 2009 06:28:27 AM |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Jun 23 2009 : 06:12:44 AM
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Depends what you are trying to achieve.
The best way to communicate with someone is to establish rapport and by adopting the emotions and physical attitude of your friend you achieved that.
Bringing the energy level up can bring you into direct conflict. This is what happens in customer service situations where the person you ring is acting calm and collected and you are in a rage. The more they remain calm, the more annoyed you get.
Intruding (and thats what it is) on your friends problems can be equally annoying unless they specifically want your help.
Sometimes it's best to just notice the mood and simply mention that you noticed the change without offering any help except to offer a get out clause on whatever you are doing to allow time for them to sort it out. |
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Steve
277 Posts |
Posted - Jun 23 2009 : 09:40:46 AM
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Hi Neil, quote:
however what do you do in a situation where you feel the negative presence of others? thanks
Yogani's most recent lesson 'Lesson 340 – Transforming Emotional Energy for Enlightenment' http://www.aypsite.org/340.html is very pertinent to your question.
Love and Light,
Steve |
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sagebrush
USA
292 Posts |
Posted - Jun 23 2009 : 10:37:24 AM
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ok- I will say I have heavy energy at times...so I am not avoiding what I emit.
however in the big picture
is it possible that that wave has negative energy and that wave has positive energy when it is an ocean.
isn't it just moving thru or not moving thru.
isn't its mine or yours just more of the same old same old blame, name, shame, beginnning steps of separation.
why yonotan do you get specific that it is (I felt it coming from them) and someone else states-regardless of whose it is....
what if it is not from your friend, what if it is from someone on the bus or someone in the city, state, country, globe....now what
I do believe there are ways to transmute, heal, acknowledge, work thru, etc. but the original point seems to be to just get the negative back to the positive---and that can seem like more denial, running, blame,..
much like opting for sunshine when today is overcast.
in business we are toaught the customer is always right. in personal spere-its all fair game. mostly I think people want to just emote and be heard with understanding...they don't necessarily need someone to try to offer solutions...and at times they may be willing to let you play devils advocate and point out where you are blinded.
maybe this is too broad a discussion and a more direct example more detailed can be given..
maybe the trick(and I mean that as it is not a game) is to not take the bait. remaining calm peaceful as best possible with little or no or lots of training. maybe a ten minute time out under a peaceful tree for self reflection.
I can't take back anything from the past-but in anycase I will send out my own prayer of sincerity and forgiveness all across the board that forgive me for any wrongdoing and negative influence and emotional drains, baggage..etc. |
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brother neil
USA
752 Posts |
Posted - Jun 23 2009 : 12:33:01 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Steve
Hi Neil, quote:
however what do you do in a situation where you feel the negative presence of others? thanks
Yogani's most recent lesson 'Lesson 340 – Transforming Emotional Energy for Enlightenment' http://www.aypsite.org/340.html is very pertinent to your question.
Love and Light,
Steve
yes of course the most recent lesson is on this very question, not the first time that has happened, more like the tenth or so |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Jun 23 2009 : 3:23:15 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by sage
why yonotan do you get specific that it is (I felt it coming from them) and someone else states-regardless of whose it is....
what if it is not from your friend, what if it is from someone on the bus or someone in the city, state, country, globe....now what
True, it can come from any source, and it also doesn't "belong" to anyone, it belongs to the universe. Before it was in me it was in someone else who said a comment to me.. The thing is no matter where it's "coming from", if you experience it and let it be, it changes and transmutes to a finer energy, whereas resistance to it (and making stories about it) only adds to it and makes it stronger.
I'm no expert, I also slip into resistance and anger..
It's just my experience.. |
Edited by - Yonatan on Jun 23 2009 3:24:18 PM |
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grihastha
USA
184 Posts |
Posted - Jun 23 2009 : 3:47:45 PM
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| I'm certain there's no such thing as 'negative' energy. The negativity, such as it is, exists purely in our ego-response to some outside stimulus. We put the 'negative' label on it, in the same way we put the 'me' label on ourselves. I'm not saying everything's 'good,' either - it just is... |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Jun 23 2009 : 9:02:03 PM
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Sage wrote:quote:
this topic made me squeemish right off the tee.
what if my energy is not good, but I want it to be.
what if I can't always be good energy.
Nobody has to be good energy always, and it's worse if you try to fake it. But hiding it or ignoring it makes people uncomfortable because they feel you are hiding or ignoring something. People will be comfortable if you express your emotion. In other words, if you are angry just say "I'm pissed off about...(whatever it is). Then for a while your action will express being angry, and people around you will not be uncomfortable because they know what caused it.
quote:
Originally posted by grihastha
I'm certain there's no such thing as 'negative' energy. The negativity, such as it is, exists purely in our ego-response to some outside stimulus. We put the 'negative' label on it, in the same way we put the 'me' label on ourselves. I'm not saying everything's 'good,' either - it just is...
Yes, but negative emotions like anger, jealousy, etc. seem negative when someone is trying to hide them. If they tell people around them what caused the emotion, then people accept it. Otherwise they may think they caused it and you aren't telling them.
"Bad vibes" are caused when someone tries to hide (or deny) something.
If you are not too sensitive you will feel it as bad but not know what it is. |
Edited by - Etherfish on Jun 23 2009 9:05:05 PM |
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Jun 24 2009 : 01:47:49 AM
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When I feel the negative vibes of people around me, there is 2 possibilities:
- when my heart is open and flowing already, I just CANNOT get upset by any negative influence... even if I perceive the negativity, nothing can "hit" me inside simply because there is no obstruction or wall of resistance.. there is total openeness and flowing..
People feel that and immediately they are transformed.. their tension, if any, will ease, even without them being conscious of it maybe..
- when I am not totally flowing, immidiately, I will feel upset..
physically, I will feel a "ball" of tension in the solar plexus, and noticing that physical defensive reaction, I would try to breathe deeply through the the same tensed area, and this might help a lot to open up again..
But anyways, whenever I feel "down" energetically, unstable, and whenever I have the choice, I prefer to stay home and work on myself until balance is recovered again..
Once, I was feeling totally lost (with existential questionnings going on my mind, mixed with pain etc.)..
I needed answers and help.
I made the mistake of going out and it was a very uncomfortable situation.. I found myself trying to look "good".. trying to be loving.. the more I tried, the more people would feel it, and the more I repelled them.. except for a few ones who, initially, were flowing with Love, and would feel compassion towards me, understanding what I was going through..
So, basically, opening the Heart and allowing Love to grow and flow would be the answer  |
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solo
USA
167 Posts |
Posted - Jun 24 2009 : 12:39:13 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by brother neil
lately I have been ore aware of ingluences people have on each other. SO today I was playing golf wiht a friend, we were very relaxed, playing well, having a good time. then it was as if we both shifted, a more stressfull state. So I kept thinking it was me who went from relaxed to unrelaxed. thinking it was my fault and wondering how to shift back. after the round he told me of a phone call he got during the round that had to do with business that he was stressed about. So my thought seems to maybe have been wrong.
who shifted who does not matter, irrelevant. however what do you do in a situation where you feel the negative presence of others? thanks
Neil
Maybe you just need to eat a candy bar when this happens?  |
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