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Ananda
3115 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 23 2009 : 4:38:27 PM
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I then started seeing, with inner vision, myself as this translucent white light form. It is the same light I saw many years ago when I visited the realms beyond physical life, and then it was like the most beautiful profound experience of floating amongst what looked like cliffs of pure white light, that looked something like cliffs of ice. I also became that light just floating there.
at one time you kind of came across my mind and heart a lot today ,
much gratitude for your sharing brother Sparkle.
i haven't been to such a place myself but have seen it with my inner vision and saw my brother amongst a white light current as a beautiful white light being kind of saying to me that he still cares and is looking out for us and he's happy for me.
it's really a blessing to be in the presence of you guys around here, if it weren't for ayp i wouldn't dream of meeting such loving people as you guys.
much thks to you beloved Yogani for making this possible.
light and love,
Ananda |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Apr 24 2009 : 02:54:17 AM
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quote:
Posted by Ananda::
i haven't been to such a place myself but have seen it with my inner vision and saw my brother amongst a white light current as a beautiful white light being kind of saying to me that he still cares and is looking out for us and he's happy for me.
Yes, these seeing are a blessing Ananda. I am quite sure your brother is doing great, he is in a friendly and beautiful place.
Recently an aunt of my died at age of about 89 years. The other week I was thinking of her and saw her with a bunch of light beings.
The thing is, she had this fantastic contageous laugh. The last time our family went to see her we brought her out to lunch and she not only had us in stitches every time she laughed, but she also had everyone at the tables around us laughing also, a rare gift.
So I saw her with those light beings and she was still laughing away and she had all of them laughing too . It was like they were delighted to see her and have her there.
This experience actually helped with my recent experiences of the light because it gave the flavour of the friendliness of the spirit realms. I am realising this is very important. Somehow, because of my conditioning, although I would love to be around such beings, it was always a bit austere. Now things have relaxed a lot and it's a much more friendly place where one can hang out and enjoy some relaxation and good company.
Hope I dont sound too off the wall
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it's really a blessing to be in the presence of you guys around here, if it weren't for ayp i wouldn't dream of meeting such loving people as you guys.
I agree likewise Ananda, much gratitude to Yogani and everyone here
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Apr 24 2009 : 5:19:51 PM
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Hi Sparkle
That was a lovely post to read...thank you
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When I invoke Christ or the Holy Spirit it would usually result in a deeply felt presence and for some reason I haven't felt like doing this lately.It felt like just letting things happen on their own in whatever way it would.
and
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Thoughts occured to me to re-invoke this angel energy and then a stronger knowing left me doing nothing, just letting it go and waiting for whatever might come along.
and
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So something profound is happening and I'm not trying to hang onto any of it, whatever comes comes.
This is so inspiring....I am very grateful. The indulging in the heart breathing here...that caused the overload....it is no different than indulging in the ecstacy......it seems the "hurdles" are the same....at every crossing ....the density of this head too 
After having had to "cool it".....while I was away in Lillehammer for three days with work......when I was finally able to be by myself after ten at night....the intelligence made it known inside about the letting go......that it is not necessary to "call it".....it is already here....and when increased communing is needed.....it will come of itself. It is crucial that I understand this ...since there is much more communing to come.....and there was resistance at first...it was just like having to let go of what I love most........
Nothing...absolutely nothing is to be used as a "filler".....in order for the heart to be emptiful....the emptiness always comes first....
This is of course not at all surprising....it ties in nicely with what everything always boils down to: letting go.....So again...thanks for bringing such an inspiring attitude
Christ.....presence....and the father-like essence....it was necessary here....to see the dynamics...the workings of it. Something is in the making here too......
Ever since this communing...about the letting go of the face of Christ in heart....after this....whenever the letting go of anything happens...it is now followed by waves of love....
My body is still coping with the vibrational...increase. This always feels like the heart has to "wait"....and it is always a challenge here....yet....it is the price payed for getting ahead of myself 
quote:
Last night after the AYP group meditation, which was totally immersed in this light, I got home, read a little of Interior Castle and then as I lay in bed I was completely opened up to a really deep love from my heart and all through my body.
Don't know why that suddenly happened, well maybe that's not quite true. Earlier I asked for a sign that it was more than just inner vision and then this happend, so maybe someone or something is listening
That's beautiful.
Yes ....someone is listening.... when sincere questions like that are dropped into the ocean of silence......
So..... it seems love is always the answer....and it comes both through celestial vehicles and any open heart you meet on earth....but first and foremost...your own
Therese of Avila.....I am sure she is with you
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2009 : 1:40:53 PM
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Hi Katrine and all
quote:
Christ.....presence....and the father-like essence....it was necessary here....to see the dynamics...the workings of it. Something is in the making here too......
I spent many years invoking the Christ presence and the Holy Spirit and Mother mary and value the profound and nourishing presence that flooded into my being, really since I was a small boy.
It is only recently that this other factor has replaced this. I did, over many years of Buddhist practice, stay with mindfulness and the present moment and with this, did not invoke any diety or vibration.
I suppose the practices of these two elements along with the inner silence developed through AYP has integrated them together, or at least that's what it feels like.
At present, every time I come home to myself I am with myself and everything as pure light. The light I see is like translucent see through light with a white hue. It also sometimes contains strings of bright lights running through it, like energy channels, and I can feel the energies run through this sometimes, like when an issue arises and I internalise it, it transformes through these energy channles and dissolves.
Sometimes the core channel, at the centre becomes very strong and bright, but not particularly energetic.
With this I am experiencing the huge priviledge of being here in form. The light and form combined is a true blessing for all of us here, not only human but all form. At least this is my sense of it.
Because of this my time here is seen as more valuable than before, it's not that anything has changed apart from what I can appreciate.
I too get some overload from this, as whenever I am resting, in bed or wherever, the tendancy is to rest in this light.
Where this will lead, I haven't a clue, I keep tossing it away and it keeps coming back.
Walk in beauty |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - May 03 2009 : 08:15:05 AM
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Hi Sparkle
Wonderful....to read of the light
When I was a child.....after the experience in the forest when 5 years old.....it was the loving look of the space that day that I used to invoke...when growing up. By the time time I turned 13 the image of it had left (it is only after the Shine became established here that I remembered the forest episode lucidly). But the imprint of it stayed....that imprint was like a "back-stage-room" I could enter during taxing times (like when being beaten up etc). I used to call it "Evigheten".....which means "The Eternity". Nothing could harm me there.
So...when after 4-5 years of meditation practise (from the age of app 23) it changed into a devotional practise....it was the invoking of this "Evigheten" that filled me up with nourishing presence....yet I never put it into any religious context. I just experienced it's calm goodness. It would also come of itself unasked...if there was a crisis of sorts. So right when it felt like I would have a break down...it was replaced by this calm goodness. "Evigheten" was different than the Christ vibration....in that it was so still. The face....the eyes of Jesus Christ....was like a powerful embodiment of love. It had a much greater impact on that ....place inside...that matures.
After letting go of Jesus Christ there has been an avalanche of resolve here...
It started with writing in Carsons topic here:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....&whichpage=2
Pondering the witnessing state.....pondering the way letting go always ends up being a blessed fullness of heart.....and so in this space.....I asked why the issue of living by myself comes back every time there is a shift.....and I sat very still with this question....
So the ticking in started:
"Why am I living by myself?"
After a few seconds the laughing started......it is so obvious why I live by myself now. It is because I want to.... *lol*.....right now....it is such a blessing to be able to spend all this time becoming intimate with what I am....in a space that is not....distracted.
"Why then does it feel difficult when there is a "breach" ...before the frequency rises?"
When there is.....a rising in ..."pitch"...of the vibration.....when the rise is to be integrated....it is like starting from a point that is "lower in pitch"...than before the rise. It is like integrating everything from scratch...it feels like stepping backwards "to collect". And what will be collected...is that which is still not embraced...still not processed. Some issues are more stubborn and deeper than others. In this case....resistance to living by myself....has many layers...many avenues...that all mean the same.
This is the way it unravelled itself:
First....on my way to work....right outside the city hall.....there was a....."knowingfilm" in the heart. It was triggered by the rounded look of the space in front of the city hall (circles...or half circles can trigger visions...or insights here). The knowing was simply: God is the only essential relationship one ever has.
A few days later I went to a big birthday party....a friend from work turned 50...and she asked me to play the piano and flute....etc. I took the bus there....and standing on the full bus with a backpack full of music scores, the flute etc....an elderly couple entered. She was tiny...:-) Anyway...two seats became free, so I asked her if they would like to sit there. And elderly man came on the bus a stop later....the same thing happened with him... a seat became free....and before anyone else could take it...I asked if he would have it. The tiny woman she was so grateful....and she kept looking at me the whole trip....and before getting off the bus....she came over and wished me the most beautiful evening...the love coming from her was very pure...and yet there was a lot of immaturity in her....
Now....right after this I became aware of a man sitting a few yards away....he was very handsome and I felt the vibes from him even before looking at him. Our eyes met......and in an instant I read his inside. He was a very nice man, well educated, kind, strong, age around 40, and I suddenly felt the attraction towards him....and I read the response to it inside him. Right then....the seat in front of him became available.....and he motioned for me to sit down. I did. All the time watching what was going on inside. There was desire, but also a real connection. No words were uttered.....I sat there...knowing that I was at a place where there was a choice coming up. I tasted the difference between the love from the tiny woman and the strength of the emanations from that man....zooming into them...to see where God was in this equation. God was there alright....but not on the front seat. The immaturity in him was just the same as in the woman. Only a bit more educated. Yet his desire veiled parts of the maturity....instead of being in balance with it. And this was a perfect mirror. In a flash I saw the resistance to living by myself...how it was linked to that veiling of the maturity through desire. The choice made itself and I let the desire dissolve of itself. It was funny..because a minute before...I saw him taking out a business card...preparing to give it to me before leaving the bus. A few seconds after the shift inside...he looked at me....I looked him quietly right in the eye...and he put his card back in his pocket....got up and left.
Later that night...at the party.....the same thing happened. I was placed beside a very attractive, kind, loving man. But I read his inside, and saw that God was not up front in him either, although his experiences, the way he talked ...his heart....was very mature...and he definitely was aware of something bigger than himself. But there was no single-pointed direction in him. And i contemplated these two mirrors...how they fit...in the make-up here.
The day after.....I sat still at home.....and a very strong surge came. It is almost impossible to keep ones eyes open when these surges come....and this one was particularly intoxicating. I saw how it filled me up.....and in a flash the dots connected....and in one single still moment I found myself in the very core of the surge....eyes open....staying only with the father-like essence. The vibration was so strong my eyelid hairs "waved" in it.....it is a huge column that fills the whole room.....everytime I felt like closing my eyes...like this was on the brink of what i could handle...I stayed open...eyes open....and stayed with the father-like essence. And it worked.
So just like being inside the AUM....one is inside the ecstatic conductivity too. And it explained all the problems I have had with overload. Why it has been so hard to balance sometimes. The desire behind it was not fully seen until now. I had not been aware that unprocessed desire made the intoxication seducing...into less conscious....instead of more conscious....if that makes sense......to go with the ecstacy.....is taxing....it manages very well on it's own.....
The day after I spent in the park with friends. I went to see the clinic of one of them....it was a beautiful white place...and on the wall was a picture of....I'm smiling now .....a feather.... lying still. So I blurted out..."that's what I call it...the father-like essence....."a feather at rest"....
This moring I awoke with the star in the Ajna. And the lovely alive blue colour that sourounds it came and left....the golden halo around it came and left.....and then another surge happened. Since it was dark...my eyes were closed....It is the first time I have seen what the surge looks like inside. It was a river of very bright light flowing up through the body out of the crown.....and Ajna...I was a bit startled...so didn't see it (only feel it as usual) come down and spread from heart....but that's what it does...
In the seeing of it....after getting out of bed....insights came (you already know this...but to also actually see it is definitely different for me):
Our essential nature is the ligth that we are. It is our spirit. The intelligence is in the light. But the love is the.....source from where the light comes....it is this that is the father-like essence. The intelligence is sent forward from this essence.... like a spark....a beam....from this love. It is never separate from the source.....only an elongation of it. The mind cannot feel it...since feeling is not in it's faculty....This explained about the "maturity".....I have always pondered...what is it that matures?? This feeling of maturing...where does it come from? But in seeing the light....it seems that the spirit is linked.....or ....glued to....some sort of subtle substance. This substance stores..... what it is exposed to - and matures through - the different tastes it experiences. The focal point of this substance is located in the chest...behind the sternum....it is like a little cave there...
It is this substance....that is capable of feeling love. And nothing is more maturing than love.
So now.....during daily activity....there is contemplation of the father-like essence. Where earlier there would be looking at the Shine....or simply attention on nature.....trees...sky....or emotions...whatever took place......there is now....contemplation of this essence. It is not seen....yet it is possible to contemplate it in the now. Just like the Shine....it permeates everything.......and just like the heart is felt to be emptiful......when contemplating the father-like essence....one is completely empty of self....yet the essence...is almost like One Single Thought.....it is an empty mind that is full of itself.
It is the void in everything.....
And it never begins....and never ends......
I don't know if contemplate is the right word in English....because I am certainly not thinking......but at the same time it is more than just being attentive....more than just having one's attention on it. It is like.....probing into......to taste it....yet it is done with the faculty of the mind seeped in heart.
Your post about the light that you are...I read it the other day.....and the uplifting harmony of it contributed greatly to greater openness when the light intelligence was seen....
So thank you Sparkle
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - May 08 2009 : 2:01:47 PM
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Hi Katrine
quote:
Our essential nature is the ligth that we are. It is our spirit. The intelligence is in the light. But the love is the.....source from where the light comes....it is this that is the father-like essence. The intelligence is sent forward from this essence.... like a spark....a beam....from this love. It is never separate from the source.....only an elongation of it. The mind cannot feel it...since feeling is not in it's faculty....This explained about the "maturity".....I have always pondered...what is it that matures?? This feeling of maturing...where does it come from? But in seeing the light....it seems that the spirit is linked.....or ....glued to....some sort of subtle substance. This substance stores..... what it is exposed to - and matures through - the different tastes it experiences. The focal point of this substance is located in the chest...behind the sternum....it is like a little cave there...
It is this substance....that is capable of feeling love. And nothing is more maturing than love.
So now.....during daily activity....there is contemplation of the father-like essence. Where earlier there would be looking at the Shine....or simply attention on nature.....trees...sky....or emotions...whatever took place......there is now....contemplation of this essence. It is not seen....yet it is possible to contemplate it in the now. Just like the Shine....it permeates everything.......and just like the heart is felt to be emptiful......when contemplating the father-like essence....one is completely empty of self....yet the essence...is almost like One Single Thought.....it is an empty mind that is full of itself.
I'm afraid that's all too complicated for me, makes my head hurt
I don't see any connections myself, just a whole lot of light. It is like another aspect of the oneness because it is everywhere and in essence is the same everywhere. It is seen here to take form in everything physical and also extends to forms in the non-physical.
Not very concrete any of this but for me it is where I tune into when coming home to myself. For instance, when I am making decisions during the day, it is this light intelligence that offers little insights on what to do or not do.
There is not much energy going on but I do see energy channels in the light body and sometimes the energy does come through at various strengths.
I can see I need to be careful not to get too hooked on the light. For me the important thing is being in the moment and whatever comes out of this is where the rubber meets the road, whether it is light, love, hate, anger etc. The awareness allows it all to rise and fall.
This can also happen with the light as long as it is properly grounded in the now, at least this is my experience.
With regard to looking through the heart, this seems to have moved to the throat now, so going with this. It has proved very nice when eating mindfuly as the energy is felt in the throat as the food is tasted and swallowed.
Must go, being called for dinner
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - May 08 2009 : 2:55:48 PM
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Hi Sparkle
quote:
I'm afraid that's all too complicated for me, makes my head hurt
Yes...........
Sometimes.....when coming back to read some of my posts.....I wonder if I talk too much
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The awareness allows it all to rise and fall.
This can also happen with the light as long as it is properly grounded in the now, at least this is my experience.
That's great.....then you won't get hooked....since you know the difference.
Enjoy every meal
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - May 08 2009 : 5:13:14 PM
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Yes...........
Sometimes.....when coming back to read some of my posts.....I wonder if I talk too much
I wouldn't agree, your contributions on the forum are fabulous Katrine, an inspiration to all
I am very grateful, thank you |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - May 10 2009 : 2:04:04 PM
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Hello everyone.....
I haven't participated in this thread yet....I hadn't had any experience with "seeing through the heart" up 'till now. Today I did a meditation outside in the sunshine.....I am pacing right now so I only did 5 minutes of SBP and 15 minutes of DM. No postures. Well, as I have written about in another thread, lately I have been having my awareness shoot out the top of my head (3 times in 6 weeks) with increasing frequency. This is part of the reason I am pacing. Well today about 1 minute into DM I got what I think others talk about in the bright circle of light at the third eye. for me it wasn't white though....it was a rainbow. Perhaps because I was outside in the sunshine I don't know. Anyways, as I saw this rainbow circle, my awareness started to shift upwards quickly and I knew I was going to shoot out the crown again....Instead of letting this happen I had the intuition to pull the awareness into the heart area instead. I was able to do this. What happened because of this was a little unnerving though. As soon as the awareness was centred in the solar plexus my shoulders very abruptly pulled as far down and back as is humanly possible I think....My chest pushed itself out, my back arched really hard and I was forced into Yoga Mudra, forehead to the Earth. I was stuck here for I don't know how long. (I didn't go overtime though) Is this a bad sign? Should I have let the awareness go out the crown? Is this at all normal? Any advice?
Love,
Carson |
Edited by - CarsonZi on May 10 2009 2:15:56 PM |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2009 : 03:21:02 AM
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Hi Carson
Thanks for sharing Carson, that sounds cool
quote:
I think others talk about in the bright circle of light at the third eye. for me it wasn't white though
If, by white, you are referring to the white light I am seeing, as per above posts. This is different, the light I am seeing is not from the third eye, as in seeing through the forehead, it is inner vision.
However, it is great that by pulling the awareness down to the heart that this happened. This is similar to what I did, except that it started from a different experience. So maybe it might be a good general practice to bring one's attention to the heart when we have a strong experience like this
quote:
My chest pushed itself out, my back arched really hard
That is familiar, to me it sometimes felt like my chest was literally breaking open. As an aside, because of this, one of the way I try and keep the heart open is to keep my chest physically open by pulling the shoulders back or lying on the floor with shoulders pulled onto the floor, this does help me in this respect.
quote:
Should I have let the awareness go out the crown? Is this at all normal? Any advice?
Don't know about this, maybe other's can answer.
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Akasha
421 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2009 : 10:01:08 AM
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quote:
Should I have let the awareness go out the crown? Is this at all normal? Any advice?
Love,
Carson
I don't feel qualified to answer that question, but possibly. Just letting things happen naturally maybe good idea.letting whatever wants to happen happen.
surrenderring always seems the way to go.
i gave some advice in another thread, about being cautious & self-pacing, but based on what you have said here, then just going with the flow maybe better.
maybe all the preapartion you've done these past 11 months is now leading to this quite natural event.and there's little point resisting.it wants to happen. thanks for sharing
best of luck.your inner guru is your best judge |
Edited by - Akasha on May 11 2009 10:15:21 AM |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2009 : 11:53:25 AM
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Hi Sparkle.....
quote:
Originally posted by Sparkle
Thanks for sharing Carson, that sounds cool
No worries, sharing is what I do best , haha.
quote:
Originally posted by Sparkle
If, by white, you are referring to the white light I am seeing, as per above posts. This is different, the light I am seeing is not from the third eye, as in seeing through the forehead, it is inner vision.
No this wasn't the white light I was talking about. I assume the white light you are talking about is the "Shine" that Katrine talks about. I have not experienced this "Shine" I don't think except perhaps during some hallucinogen trips. What you guys describe as the Shine reminds me of an ayahausca journey in Peru in which I saw everything as different densities of light. What happened to me, and what I was talking about in the above post is what I believe people refer to when talking about the white circle of light during "Yoni Mudra Kunbhaka". The one that a star appears in the center of supposedly. I had seen the white circle before, but this time it was only white in the centre ring and was a rainbow as it faded outwards....and didn't see the star.
quote:
Originally posted by Sparkle
However, it is great that by pulling the awareness down to the heart that this happened. This is similar to what I did, except that it started from a different experience. So maybe it might be a good general practice to bring one's attention to the heart when we have a strong experience like this
You think so? I think this kinda put me into overload. I couldn't have a second session yesterday due to the overload. It showed up about 2 hours after my morning session. Don't know if this would have happened either way, but I definitely had some very obvious overload symptoms yesterday after this experience.
quote:
Originally posted by Sparkle
That is familiar, to me it sometimes felt like my chest was literally breaking open.
Aw yes... that is very much how it felt. I tried to indicate this by saying that my shoulders dropped down and back as far as humanly possible, but I guess I could have just said it felt like my chest was going to explode. Haha.
quote:
Originally posted by Sparkle
As an aside, because of this, one of the way I try and keep the heart open is to keep my chest physically open by pulling the shoulders back or lying on the floor with shoulders pulled onto the floor, this does help me in this respect.
This happens to me automatically. I often get put into this position, or into a bridge posture without the arms, and instead am balancing on the crown of my head.
Thanks!
Love,
Carson |
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AYPforum
351 Posts |
Posted - May 15 2009 : 6:59:36 PM
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| Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement |
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Looking through the Heart
