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YogaIsLife
641 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 20 2009 : 11:48:06 AM
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Hi all and thanks for reading.
Well, I don't know if this is kundalini, but it certainly is energy. I also wrote about this scatterly in some threads but decided to open a new thread just on this.
For some years now I've been experiencing several symptoms (physical, emotional, etc.) that I clearly associate with energy movements in, and around, the body. I started reading on bionergetics and that was the only thing, then, that came close to explaining my symptoms. Then I read about kundalini and I got a little closer. Still I avoid calling this kundalini as I had very little of the common "flashes" nor none of the visualisations of "liquid fire" or just "fire". Still, the things that happen to me are weird enough for me to have to pay attention.
To spare you of confusing details of symptomotology I can focus on one aspect that is quite constant in me - that of feelings of energy
pumping or moving through my body - and hope you might have some idea of what the best remedies to manage this would be.
Before starting AYP (more than 9 months ago) I was really tired and depressed from all the energy movements inside me that I had been experiencing for years. Then, as a matter of despair and because I have started reading about meditation and yoga, I decided to just sit crossed legged and be still with my eyes closed. What happened next was at the same time frightening but also a proof that something beyond me was happening.
As I sat there with eyes closed and spin erect and allowing things to unfold (as I felt what I then could only describe as a "sea storm inside") I realised I started to spiral in a cicular motion. Sometimes that spiraling was so intense that it almost brought my head to the ground (and would do if I'd let it!). I hope you can understand my english now. My torso would oscillate in a clockwise or counter-clockwise manner. Other times it would just bounce back and forth or sideways. This was suprising to me at the time because it was nothing of my doing, it was doing everything "itself"! It was the first time I was perfectly conscious of an "inteligent force" inside me that was not governed by myself in any way. AYP calls it automatic yoga I believe.
Now, as I started AYP deep meditation I noticed that the oscillated became much smoother or would not occur at all. I attribute this to the centering effect of meditation. On the other hand I still feel energies inside me but they seem to be more "tamed" or "canneled". Also, they changed their quality somehow - they now occur more in "pulses" (a "pumping" feeling, like a heart pumping) or "waves", both within the body, but often (especially the waves) both within AND around my body, as if "washing" me. Usually the currents run from the bottom of the body upwards.
I wonder what my next steps should be. I doubt this is a full blown kundalini but, because I suffered so much because of these energies in the past already, I am afraid of any full blown awakening. I also don't seem to have very good visualisation skills because I see nothing inside myself, no lights, colours, sounds, or spinal nerve, etc.
Other problems I have is obstruction in the neck/head area (lite chin pump and spinal breathing help a little slowly, but still feels like I am trying to blow out a thick dam by pumping water! - in short, feels unhealthy).
At the moment my routine is 10min DM with 5min rest. Adding anything else becomes uncomfortable. Even still, at times (like now) I have to go from using the mantra to just being aware and using the breath, as the mantra stirs energies too much. This type of meditation has a somehow calming effect but I don't evolve much by doing just this, I think.
Any advice? Especially on how to strenghten myself as to be ready for more energy flow? Basically, in me, anything that stirs energy (like pranayama or even physical exercise or even, sometimes, full blown laughter!) feels unconfortable, like I am going to faint or something (maybe the neck-head constriction here). I did many medical exams and all seems to be ok except for high bilirubin (liver by-product) but the doctors say that this can be a temporary condition due to stress or other factors. I still want to check my head as I noticed uncommon pressure there and could be that I have something there, just to rule any medical condition. That, too, would explain a lot. But, for the moment, any advice on how to maintain balance and enhance strength of body from the spiritual/holistic side of things would be wonderful. Hope you got an idea of my "condition" and sorry for the long post! |
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riptiz
United Kingdom
741 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2009 : 2:09:47 PM
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Hi,
Most certainly a spontaneous awakening which unfortunately does whatever it likes regardless of whether your body is purified enough(hence the discomfort).I also have a blockage in my neck which I am slowly dissipating.Even after shaktipat 3 times it is still there so I am not expecting it to disappear anyday soon.I would caution you from using Spinal breathing as this will encourage shakti to push further against the blockage in my experience.
My blocakge is caused by an old martial arts injury so you might want to look at any injury you have as the cause.Mine is in the back, just right of the left shoulder blade.I found the cause when someone placed their hand on my back to ease the discomfort and my neck was very painful with the energy flow.I have also expereinced pressure when using spinal breathing or simply breathing and also during shaktipat.It felt like shakti wanted to blast a way through.I was advised not to try to push energy through the blockage and i advise you the same.When it presses it feels like a sudden breakthrough would do damage and probably would so be aware.Sorry if this is probably not much help but I caution you so you are not tempted to blast a way through in some way.
L&L
Dave
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YogaIsLife
641 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2009 : 2:36:02 PM
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Hi Dave,
Not at all, your post was actually very helpful.
I know exactly what you mean. Fortunately I am well aware of the discomfort of pranayama on the blocked area (the dam-river metaphor suits it well) and am actually happy that, you, having had shaktipat 3 times still experience a slow recovery. I thought I was doing something wrong! 
I won't push (like I haven't) with pranayama but confess I get a little frustrated that after 9 months I still can do little much than 10min meditation and, at phases, not even that!
quote:
My blocakge is caused by an old martial arts injury so you might want to look at any injury you have as the cause.
I think I know what is my injury. For years I have had eye problems starting with a retinal detachment on my left eye (if ever I had a kundalini awakening it was then - I saw a flash that blasted my left retina. anyone know of kundalini creating physical symptoms of this or similar kinds?). After that I strained my eyes voluntarily and unecessarily by going without glasses for 1 and half years (thought I could reverse my myopia by sheer will power). Needlesss to say this was the most foolish thing I ever did and I stil pay to this day with some diziness, difficulty in focus etc. My body was all mis-wired and strained for a whole 1 and 1/2 years! Not recommended!
So I think that explains the still pressure in the head and in the neck, and in the back of the head/neck especially - visual cortex. Meditation seemed to really helped me with this (eye/mind/body confusion), probably because it is a focusing and centering exercise, it balanced my body/mind after all that confusion and mist. Really not nice it was.
Thanks for engaging once again Dave. |
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YogaIsLife
641 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2009 : 2:44:05 PM
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Just another question Dave: how do you expect your blockage will clear over time? what practices help you?
thanks. |
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riptiz
United Kingdom
741 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2009 : 5:05:44 PM
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Hi YIL,
When I asked Guruji about the blockage he told me to come regularly for shaktipat and carry on with my sadhana so there is no easy answer.
My shaktipat has consisted of 10 days of actual energy infusion from guruji over 3 time periods so I have had quite a lot of energy infusion.The blockage is reducing slowly.
Now although I am not quoting AYP practices(but as you ask)I suggest that you may try stopping meditation and trying simply japa.Using mantra you repeat the mantra silently in your head as fast as possible to create energy for purification or you could add this to your meditation practice.All the best.
L&L
Dave
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YogaIsLife
641 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2009 : 05:46:47 AM
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Thanks Dave.
That is what I do at the moment - peiords of no mantra meditation. Instead I do mindfullness/insight meditation and it is very soothing and relaxing. I think Japa will only stir more energy and that I don't need. I have plenty of energy going around my body, pumping, etc., so eventually it will go through the cracks in the obstructions...it is just a matter of managing it that is complicated...oh well, live and learn... |
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CRS
Canada
16 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2009 : 10:32:42 PM
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Hello YIL:
I'm experiencing the oscillating movements as well. All the time during deep meditation. They come and go, usually in waves. I find it rather pleasant - it's not uncomfortable. Though I do understand how it *could* be uncomfortable or perhaps even jarring.
That's about all I can say. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. 
Warmest,
Christian. |
Edited by - CRS on Mar 21 2009 11:10:52 PM |
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YogaIsLife
641 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2009 : 07:27:37 AM
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| Thanks Christian, appreciate it |
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advice on unconfortable symptoms
