|
|
 |
|
| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
YogaIsLife
641 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 22 2009 : 5:57:51 PM
|
Hi,
I am wondering about what is inner silence and if it is the same as the darkness I experience sometimes. This darkness is pitch black, and its very spacious and it's very quiet and at the same time is subtely alive. There is a sort of presence in it.
In DM until now I experience mainly energy/conscioussness movements inside and also some effects on the breath but never a great deal of "inner silence" as a long lasting sense of silence. But now I start to feel this pitch dark blackness sometimes and it is also very quiet and vibrant at the same time. I also used to feel this when I was younger just as I was about to sleep. I felt like I was going through a tunnel that was getting more and more black until I fell asleep. Are these things connected?
Thank yous. |
|
|
emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2009 : 12:42:17 AM
|
What is inner silence?
http://www.aypsite.org/157.html
Yes, that is inner silence. It's all connected. Some might say it's the feminine aspect of the One - sybolized in the darkness in the yin/yang symbol for example. It's sometimes described as the "womb of the universe". A vast, black potential, vibrating, ready to manifest when seeded by consciousness. The masculine side would then be the "light" experiences that we have.  But don't trust me... I'm only putting tings together from own experience and knowledge in a mix. What happens if you only identify with that darkness? Not you looking into that darkness, but that darkness BEING you, looking out through those eyes...? When I do that - there's a love explosion beyond measures!
|
 |
|
|
Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2009 : 06:03:09 AM
|
Hi YIL and emc
Thanks for questioning and sharing. Yoganis lesson on inner silence is great, thanks for bringing it up, emc
No concept is apt.....at best it points us Here....at worst it spins us off the moment.....
YIL.....you probably know this....but just mentioning:
Inner silence is the subject. It is what you are. Anything you see....anything objectified.....is not really it as just the form. Yet, it is it, since there is nothing but That. And the darkness you describe is definitely inner silence.........when perceived, be still and don't look with the mind. Don't objectify it and call it with a name. Then it is just scenery. Sink into it instead. It is a paradox, but it always pays to turn the gaze inwards...back on itself.....just trust...and sink....
When objectifying....the looking at it is a separation.
So no matter what you are looking at....be more interested in what it is that is looking.....
Even though it might sound as nothing can be seen this way....the paradox is....that when the subject is sunken into.....all is implicit. So no looking is needed. All is instantly revealed instead.
It is that which truly sees (sees only what is....not needing the discription) that is the Heart/Silence.
Silence is perceived to "come forward" (shining out of) every "object" to the extent that the identification is with the subject......
Yet...it is always shining....whether we perceive it or not.
Yoga......the joining.....happens when all energy.....all awareness is resting with Heart/Silence......identified with Itself...the nothingness......
Now all is subject.
You ask about darkness....
To know darkness, there must be a perceiver of it, yes? Inner silence is That which is aware even of darkness. Even of presence. Inner silence is the perceiver of both darkness and light.
It is genderless.
And it shines of itself....illuminating everything.
So that even blackness is seen
This perceiving......is the subject.
Is Silence.
And you are that. |
|
|
|
Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2009 : 06:18:12 AM
|
PS
As a child.....from maybe the age of 6 until 11......when sitting up in bed on Sunday mornings (beside my twin sister who was asleep)....there would be a sound....a vibrating hum...like a generator....that would pull the mind into itself.
It felt like disappearing....and was very scary. So when it happened....I would grab a book and start reading instead
So yes...your experiences as a child...the tunnel....(shushumna?)....is definitely connected with the black darkness.
After all....we were always That
|
|
|
|
YogaIsLife
641 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2009 : 07:27:22 AM
|
Emc and Katrine,
Thank you so much!
thanks emc for the link, can't believe I missed that one. Still, no mention of "the darkness" though.
Katrine, your posts were lovely, thank you! Indeed you seem to speak from this place of awareness, not from the mind, and your words flow to the inner most in me.
You know, when I read the last "And you are that" there was a joy in me and I started laughing spontaneously...It felt as it was inner silence recognising itself... I had just come out of meditation so I think that helped as well
But thank you, you spoke from and to the core. You are right about not labelling as that is separating object and subject but I guess this goes by phases. First there is the awareness of this great dark alive open space and me in it. If there is the idea of "me" in it then there is still thought of course. But for me I already enjoy this so I am just "exploring" the space sort to say. But I do understand that it is possible for thought to stop and "you" just merge with that space....Can't wait! 
Yes, what you tell about your childhood is quite the same as me! There was the humming sound, and the pitch-black darkness. I was also very scared! I always need a bit of light in the hallway so not to be so scared, so as not to feel so alone in this darkness. And I remember even later in my teens that I was trying to meditate without never ever hearing of such a thing. After school I would go home (instead of going to the coffee or for walks with my friends) and I would sit in a chair and close my eyes and just try to go inside. I got really scared once as I felt the blackness (and a terrible heavy weigth associated with it) and got scared. Like you I ran away from it as fast as I could! And the black tunnel, when sleeping was definitely true, especially when I was quite young and was sleeping more soundly. And I also remember clearly the times I would really sleep deeply and rest. During some of those nights I was quite aware in my sleep and it was like I was resting inside this black vasteness that was protective. But somehow there was still me and the vasteness, so there was still the ego I guess. It was as if the vasteness was a place deep deep inside me cut out and safe from the busy world outside where I would really rest deep...it really felt like a womb...whatever it is I am sure it is close to the source, and to inner silence...so I'll keep exploring! Exciting, hum? |
|
|
|
Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2009 : 07:57:48 AM
|
quote:
Originally posted by YogaIsLife
Still, no mention of "the darkness" though.
Hi YIL,
Maybe this topic will help.
The Darkness |
|
|
|
Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2009 : 09:03:51 AM
|
Hi YIL
Thanks for sharing from your childhood
It is great when the running away transforms into a running within, isn't it? And from here.....less and less running with what comes and goes....
quote:
First there is the awareness of this great dark alive open space and me in it.
This is beautiful, YIL.
It is a great revelation....to find yourself surrounded by Space. This is a crucial opening, and you are wise to enjoy it. You are also wise to be patient with yourself. Great reminder, thank you
Just mentioning:
.......*chuckling*..........
See.....the fact that you are aware of "me" in the dark alive open presence-like space......is very revealing isn't it? .....
What you are saying.....it implies that you are seeing the "me" too........so.....
......who are You that sees the "me"?
quote:
If there is the idea of "me" in it then there is still thought of course.
The only veil here is the fact that you identify with the "me", and not the open expance. But as you can see.....the awareness that you are......is not fooled by it...*laughing*.....is it?.......It only seems so
It is a paradox that one can both be awareness and at the same time enmeshed in the "me".....but this is how it is. And it is a breakthrough that you experience less enmeshment, YIL. When this...opening.....the dynamics of it.....is trusted.....through the surfacing of silence cultivated in meditation............then you experience....gradually and instantly.... that there is more interest in the space (this is Bhakti)....which is the subject. And because of this greater interest inward towards the nothingness ....there is relaxation....since the only "way" within is through being relaxed...and this is the "stopping".
Like this the awareness falls back on itself....like in the direct experience here:
quote:
there was a joy in me and I started laughing spontaneously...It felt as it was inner silence recognising itself... I had just come out of meditation so I think that helped as well
*laughing*......yes.....this Joy....is You recognizing your true nature. Same recognizing same
Also....no thoughts survives in laughter......*laughing*......and thanks for sharing this......it is joyful to hear it!
Explore away....
And enjoy
|
|
|
|
YogaIsLife
641 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2009 : 10:00:45 AM
|
Thanks Katrine!
quote:
......who are You that sees the "me"?
Yes, this is amazing. Still, it is far out for me, I have to take it step-by-step. I was always a very mental person you see, that was what frightened me away from the "emptiness", as both you and me recalled from childhood. Still, in me, there was always the sense that I was running away from myself really, but at the same time I was clinging to my mind...a separation, you see...pain...So, now, I don't want to "think" about it...I don't want to go philosophical and think who is the me that is seeing the me in the emptiness...that would make me think and it's drawing me further away from it...as you say it is Bhakti maybe (never saw it like that actually), the experience itself of this vast open dark alive protective space draws me further inwards...it's an invitation...and so I enjoy it Thinking about it won't help, I trust the process and I am sure it will all unravel quite naturally if I stick to the simple procedures I am enrolled in and trust my own instincts...
quote:
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
there was a joy in me and I started laughing spontaneously...It felt as it was inner silence recognising itself... I had just come out of meditation so I think that helped as well
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*laughing*......yes.....this Joy....is You recognizing your true nature. Same recognizing same
Also....no thoughts survives in laughter......*laughing*......and thanks for sharing this......it is joyful to hear it!
Yes, it is it. I find myself laughing spontaneously more and more during the day. There is usually a reason behind it (remebering something pleasing, etc.) but the laughter is of a different quality - more sincere, from deeper inside me, more clean of any thoughts
I smiled of recognition reading your post again Thank you! I'll keep you posted of further explorings  |
|
|
|
Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2009 : 10:22:25 AM
|
Hi Yil
quote:
So, now, I don't want to "think" about it...I don't want to go philosophical and think who is the me that is seeing the me in the emptiness...that would make me think and it's drawing me further away from it
Yes. Very wise to not think about it No thinking will ever reveal what you are. Better meditate twice a day :-)
quote:
the experience itself of this vast open dark alive protective space draws me further inwards...it's an invitation...and so I enjoy it
Grace that is Silence is calling
To be invited is Grace
To recognize the invitation is Grace
To accept it and sink is Grace
And enjoying it all is Grace
Enjoy the space, YIL!
|
|
|
|
Jo-self
USA
225 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2009 : 1:00:47 PM
|
Very fascinating discussion. I like the references Shanti and others shared.
Reminds me of an experience I had many years ago. I was sleeping, but as I awoke, I actually saw the world being created from the Darkness, it was sublime, light just came out of it and took forms. Hard to describe. Like a fountain of rain yet of white light. Not that I awoke into the world, but that my awakening created it.
Of course, it could have been some kind of hypnopompic state (my linear mind thinks), but I take it as more, since other spiritual events were going on at the time.
--
jo-self
|
|
|
|
Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2009 : 3:38:21 PM
|
Jo-self
How beautiful...thanks for sharing that
quote:
Not that I awoke into the world, but that my awakening created it.
The world coming out of That.... with consciousness waking up in the morning....it must have been breathtaking to watch......
When in deep sleep....we always rest as inner silence.....it sounds like you woke up still immersed in it ...and then from the stillness you saw how everything...the whole play of consciousness....arose. Beautiful
Thanks again for sharing.
|
|
|
|
skorpion63
India
17 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2009 : 03:47:27 AM
|
Really a fascinating topic.
I read a lot of accounts of people seeing different colors and stuff but when i sit in DM all my attention is on the mantra and i just cannot notice anything else may it be colors or darkness or visions.
What i don't understand is am i doing something wrong.How can you guys notice other things?I am not able to notice anything and my attention is totally absorbed into the mantra.
Peace to all
|
|
|
|
Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2009 : 07:28:31 AM
|
Hi Scorpion
quote:
I read a lot of accounts of people seeing different colors and stuff but when i sit in DM all my attention is on the mantra and i just cannot notice anything else may it be colors or darkness or visions.
This is a blessing, Scorpion. Because it is the ability to gently come back to the mantra.....whenever you notice you are off it...it is this that facilitates the joining of the object with the subject. All the rest is scenery....it is the subject (inner silence) that is the crux of the matter. And the subject cannot be seen
quote:
What i don't understand is am i doing something wrong
On the contrary....you are doing everything right.
quote:
How can you guys notice other things?I am not able to notice anything and my attention is totally absorbed into the mantra.
For years and years it was like this here too. And here...it has been a blessing....because there was not so many temptations for the mind during meditation.
To be totally absorbed within....to be able to practise wisely like this.....is the same as being Home.
And it is THIS we practise for.
So you are fine, Scorpion.
Things always happen the way they are ment to. Trust life and simply continue practising twice a day. Have you noticed any change in how you feel outside practise times?
.....How long have you been engaged in AYP Deep Meditation? What about Spinal Breathing Pranayama? Is that included in your practise?
|
|
|
|
YogaIsLife
641 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2009 : 07:31:57 AM
|
Hi Skorpion,
I think you are doing things right. I did have that experience of the vart drk place, but that was all it was - an experience. I actually had a lousy DM session yesterday because I think that, even if subtely, I wanted to go to "that space" again and I eneded up with a bit of irritability and headache.
I think you are doing fine. Today my DM went much better, like usual, just because I brought no expectations to it and tried to force nothing, not even hanging in to the mantra (As I thougth that was what brought me my last experiences). The best thing is to really trust the process and be as natural as possible, not forcing anything, and not having any expectations. If you feel fine during meditationa nd in daily life that you are doing great, don't worry. |
|
|
|
skorpion63
India
17 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2009 : 07:48:14 AM
|
Thanks for the replies Katrine and YogaIsLife.
To answer your questions,
I have been following the DM and spinal breathing for last 6 months and the change it has made in me is really big.
I am so much calmer than i ever used to be.Almost all my desires for material things have vanished and all i WANT now is a simple life and my practices,Nothing else seem to hold any interest to me.
I used to have booze 2 - 3 times a week with friends(not a lot but maybe a few bottles of beer or some scotch) but after starting my practices i don't feel like having any alcohol and have given up drinking completly.same is the case with non vegetarian food.
I feel so much more happier and things that used to make me loose my temper or made me sad or disturbed earlier seem to amuse me now.
People around me have noticed these changes and they say it's a huge change from what i was just 6 months ago.
During meditation my mind gets lost in the mantra ,after some time a buzzing starts in my ears and then it grows so loud that everything melts into it,even the mantra and all there is is that buzzing drowning everything and my head feels like it's filled with electricity with small explosions going off everywhere in it(it's a very ecstatic feeling,not painful at all).
The thing is i don't perceive anything VISUAL,like so many people here do it's almost as if visual part(color,darkness,lights,visions) has been totally shut down.
Sorry for digressing from the topic of this thread
May peace be with you all
|
Edited by - skorpion63 on Jan 24 2009 07:56:12 AM |
|
|
|
Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2009 : 08:03:43 AM
|
Hi Scorpion
It is wonderful to hear of the changes that occur in and around you because of the practise!
quote:
Sorry for digressing from the topic of this thread
You are not digressing
On the contrary....here is an example of the surfacing of inner silence/the subject..... between meditation times:
quote:
I am so much calmer than i ever used to be.Almost all my desires for material things have vanished and all i WANT now is a simple life and my practices,Nothing else seem to hold any interest to me.
I feel so much more happier and things that used to make me loose my temper or made me sad or disturbed earlier seem to amuse me now.
People around me have noticed these changes and they say it's a huge change from what i was just 6 months ago.
Thanks for sharing this, Scorpion
Just keep coming back to the mantra when meditating. Visions or sounds...no matter what.....just gently come back to the mantra.
All the best - and continue enjoying!
|
|
|
|
Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2009 : 09:09:07 AM
|
quote:
Originally posted by skorpion63
The thing is i don't perceive anything VISUAL,like so many people here do it's almost as if visual part(color,darkness,lights,visions) has been totally shut down.
After 4 years with AYP, I have none of those either. When I do experience openings/visions.. they are more of a inner knowing than a sight vision. After 3 years, I have finally begun to see a few things (like the 3rd eye, a candle flame).. still very rarely.. and when I do see them I feel happy and am impressed with the vibrant colors and beauty of the sight.. but not like I had thought I would be.. a blissful meditation does more for me than seeing the 3rd eye or a flame or some geometric shapes. It took me a while to get over the wishing to see stuff.. but hey.. it is what it is.. and I will be blessed with visions if I need them.. till then.. it is meditating in the darkness for me. |
Edited by - Shanti on Jan 24 2009 09:20:44 AM |
|
|
|
skorpion63
India
17 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2009 : 09:21:23 AM
|
quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
quote:
Originally posted by skorpion63
The thing is i don't perceive anything VISUAL,like so many people here do it's almost as if visual part(color,darkness,lights,visions) has been totally shut down.
If it makes you feel any better.. after 4 years with AYP, I have none of those either.it is meditating in the darkness for me.
Amen to that.
And as Katrine said,maybe we are blessed to be able to sink into the emptiness without any visual distractions to divert our mind from the real goal
May peace be with you all.
|
|
|
|
YogaIsLife
641 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2009 : 09:51:59 AM
|
Hi skorpion,
Yes, I think that you are doing great. The effects you are having from DM (calmer, less irritable, amused, etc.) are the sames I experience and that is what matters! That shows that you are on the right track. If it is any consolation, like I said above, the experiences can be distracting and actually stir you away from the right track. I found this out, as I explained above.
All the best and keep going!
P.S.: and not digressing at all, actually quite to the point! |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
| AYP Public Forum |
© Contributing Authors (opinions and advice belong to the respective authors) |
|
|
|
|
blackness = silence?
