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taljones
Canada
6 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 13 2008 : 11:44:14 PM
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Good evening everyone!
This is my first post.
For years now I have been able to call upon kundalini, and in the beginning stages, I experience it as a type of bliss. My mind is full of light, I can sometimes run through old memories, things that I have not thought about for years, dating back to childhood. All of these good feelings last, up to a point, where the energy starts to rise to the top of the head, and becomes VERY intense, like a a golden flash. It feels like being thrown into the sun. Very intense golden flashes. When it takes on this form, it ceases to be pleasant, and I get the feeling that I am losing myself in the experience. The way I feel, is like I am losing my very identity - the sense of "I". And this frightens me terribly, as I perceive it as death. And this is when I start to pull back, but by then it's too late, and I am filled with this potent energy, and I panic, and start walking around trying to make it subside.
My life has consisted of many of these episodes. A part of me understands all the literature and I know how dangerous it is to tamper with such powerful forces. But another part of me feels like I'm a coward - like perhaps there is a threshold that I a supposed to cross. I keep thinking of the evolution of human consciousness - what if I am too scared to see this process through? What if I am holding back my own growth? These are the two thoughts that I struggle with. The fear of not completed a natural evolutionary process, and the fear of actually going further, and perhaps losing my mind or identity or grasp of reality.
Can anyone offer any advice? I have never been able to get an answer, but have always wanted some type of feedback from more experienced people. This is as far as I have taken my kundalinic movements. No further. Thank you all in advance! |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Dec 14 2008 : 03:23:36 AM
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Hi Taljones,
Welcome to the forum.
Bringing your kundalini to the top of your head early on is not the safest way to go. It is actually quite dangerous and could cause you to spend many more years than you need to on the spiritual path.
The crown chakra is a particularily unstable chakra, and the unpleasant sensations you have experienced are a symptom of this. The more you continue on the kundalini rising to crown route, the more of these negative symptoms you will experience.
Kundalini can be safely taken to the crown (and beyond) but a lot of purification work has to be carried out first. Then, when the nervous system is purified, kundalini rising to the top of the head is like heaven on earth, with no side effects.
Do you have a spiritual practice/ tradition already? Have you read any of the AYP lessons yet or tried the practices?
If you have not done so already I would recommend you read up on some of the lessons about premature crown openings:
http://www.aypsite.org/69.html
http://www.aypsite.org/77.html
http://www.aypsite.org/77.html
http://www.aypsite.org/181.html
http://www.aypsite.org/188.html
http://www.aypsite.org/199.html
http://www.aypsite.org/201.html
http://www.aypsite.org/208.html
Christi |
Edited by - Christi on Dec 14 2008 03:24:57 AM |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Dec 14 2008 : 03:39:37 AM
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welcome back Christy :), you've been missed.
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YogaIsLife
641 Posts |
Posted - Dec 14 2008 : 07:04:30 AM
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| Hi, and have you considered doing meditation? Cultivating inner silence can be the "proverbial rock", giving you the ability to remain stable in a sea of storm. I find AYP's deep meditation works for this. |
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taljones
Canada
6 Posts |
Posted - Dec 14 2008 : 12:36:17 PM
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Thank you everyone! For all your feedback.
Christi - I will read up on the lessons you've cited. I have been doing yoga for a few years, but stayed away from pranayama and mainly focussed on a select few asanas. I found that anything to do with breathing rose up too much energy, but the asanas helped to keep me grounded.
May I ask another question? I have a condition called "ulcerative colitis", which is the inflammation of the large intestine (colon). Is there a way that I can channel kundalini into that part of my body and potentially heal it? Does anyone have any advice on specific excercises that perhaps have worked for people that also have this condition. Since I developed it, I find it hard to put any strain on this area as it has caused flare ups in the past. But perhaps through breathing or some other approach, I can bring some healing to that area.
Thank you to everyone that replied! You guys are awesome! |
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YogaIsLife
641 Posts |
Posted - Dec 14 2008 : 1:56:56 PM
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hey taljones,
quote:
May I ask another question? I have a condition called "ulcerative colitis", which is the inflammation of the large intestine (colon). Is there a way that I can channel kundalini into that part of my body and potentially heal it? Does anyone have any advice on specific excercises that perhaps have worked for people that also have this condition. Since I developed it, I find it hard to put any strain on this area as it has caused flare ups in the past. But perhaps through breathing or some other approach, I can bring some healing to that area.
That same condition could have been caused by too much energy rising and being blocked. I am not completely sure about it but it is something to consider I think. I have similar conditions, large interstine pain and digestive difficulties and found them to be related to energy problems. they smoothed out (or rather are being smoothed out) with deep meditation alone.
If you do safe practices to purify over your whole system (like the main ones in AYP - deep meditation and spinal breathing pranayama if you feel like it), those conditions should disapear with time. I am not sure it is a good idea to do target practices in affected areas but others may disagree and give you good advice on that. Just remember to listen to your own instinct and to self-pace accordingly.
Also, maybe some simple diet changes could help with your interstinal condition. Or drinking more water? Many aspects are important, I feel, in this cases, not necessarily just meditation or pranayama.
All the best! |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Dec 15 2008 : 03:01:37 AM
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Hi taljones
quote:
Christi - I will read up on the lessons you've cited. I have been doing yoga for a few years, but stayed away from pranayama and mainly focussed on a select few asanas. I found that anything to do with breathing rose up too much energy, but the asanas helped to keep me grounded.
May I ask another question? I have a condition called "ulcerative colitis", which is the inflammation of the large intestine (colon). Is there a way that I can channel kundalini into that part of my body and potentially heal it? Does anyone have any advice on specific excercises that perhaps have worked for people that also have this condition. Since I developed it, I find it hard to put any strain on this area as it has caused flare ups in the past. But perhaps through breathing or some other approach, I can bring some healing to that area.
It would be good for you to read up on the lessons I linked to. They are mainly about the dangers of bringing kundalini energy, and /or consciousness to the crown chakra too early on in the process of transformation.
I would agree with Yogaislife, adding meditation to your practice would be a very good move. It helps to balance out the kundalini effects, and it also adds one aspect of the enlightenment process... bliss.
The kundalini energy will bring about another aspect... ecstasy.
In the main lessons, Yogani guides people through a simple meditation process first, and then teaches a slightly more complex pranayama technique called spinal breathing pranayama. You may find that you would also benefit from practicing that, as it will help to channel the energy to your third eye rather than your crown which would give you a lot more control over the whole thing, and make it a lot safer. In Sanskrit, the word for the third eye is ajna, which literally means control.
Just follow the links to the left labelled deep meditation, and spinal breathing pranayama.
In this forum we cannot give specific medical advice, but I do know that monks in Thailand use the power of their mind to heal themselves. They do as you say, bringing their attention, in meditation, to the part of their body that needs healing. I must warn you though, it takes time. I used this practice to heal a broken leg in my own body a few months ago. At first I was told that there was a 99 per cent chance that I would need to have metal put in the leg. I focussed on it for one week, and after that time the doctors said I would not need any metal. The healing is carried out by the kundalini energy, so you need to get it moving in the right area.
I have a friend with ulcerative colitis, so I know how painful it can be.
Good luck
Christi
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themysticseeker
USA
342 Posts |
Posted - Dec 16 2008 : 7:44:02 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by taljones
Good evening everyone!
This is my first post.
For years now I have been able to call upon kundalini, and in the beginning stages, I experience it as a type of bliss. My mind is full of light, I can sometimes run through old memories, things that I have not thought about for years, dating back to childhood. All of these good feelings last, up to a point, where the energy starts to rise to the top of the head, and becomes VERY intense, like a a golden flash. It feels like being thrown into the sun. Very intense golden flashes. When it takes on this form, it ceases to be pleasant, and I get the feeling that I am losing myself in the experience. The way I feel, is like I am losing my very identity - the sense of "I". And this frightens me terribly, as I perceive it as death. And this is when I start to pull back, but by then it's too late, and I am filled with this potent energy, and I panic, and start walking around trying to make it subside.
My life has consisted of many of these episodes. A part of me understands all the literature and I know how dangerous it is to tamper with such powerful forces. But another part of me feels like I'm a coward - like perhaps there is a threshold that I a supposed to cross. I keep thinking of the evolution of human consciousness - what if I am too scared to see this process through? What if I am holding back my own growth? These are the two thoughts that I struggle with. The fear of not completed a natural evolutionary process, and the fear of actually going further, and perhaps losing my mind or identity or grasp of reality.
Can anyone offer any advice? I have never been able to get an answer, but have always wanted some type of feedback from more experienced people. This is as far as I have taken my kundalinic movements. No further. Thank you all in advance!
Hello Taljones, One thing you must accept now is that you are very far along the path. It is very likely for someone in your continuum to progress to full enlightenment even in this lifetime.
When you feel that you are going to lose yourself, have courage. You are not going to die. What ceases is a standard conventional orientation to society. The "old you" ceases. This leaves open the potentiality for a "new you" which is equal to the greatest of all persons imaginable, in every aspect. This is why you are meditating in the first place, isn't it?
As others have said, proceed more skillfully. You want the kundalini to illuminate the crown chakra, and the other chakras as well. It is not that difficult to cause kundalini to spout into the head. Controlling it and causing it to drizzle into the throat, heart and belly chakras is more difficult. You must balance all the wheels and rotate the tires. 
For a while, don't worry about the crown chakra; let it spout into the crown chakra; let it even get really forceful. However, before doing so start with a strong intention to draw the energy into your throat, then heart, then belly. Let the mantra follow the kundalini, and this will become clearer. Say the mantra inside of the chakra, and kundalini will follow.
Lose yourself. Selflessness is the awareness of the enlightened.
Respect and blessings,
TMS |
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taljones
Canada
6 Posts |
Posted - Jan 22 2009 : 11:59:41 PM
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I wish to thank everyone for their kind advice and
prompt responses.
I have been doing the spinal breathing and introduced the mantra "I am".
We shall see where the path takes me.
Again, thank you to all who took the time to respond to my experience.
I am grateful.
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krcqimpro1
India
329 Posts |
Posted - Jan 31 2009 : 01:33:01 AM
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Yogani,
I have been regularly practicing AYP Asanas, SBP,YMK, SB Bhastrika, and DM followed by Samyama, twice daily for the last several months. I can feel inner silence and see the Sushumna during YMK and fuzzily during DM recently. One problem I have encountered however, is acute constipation. I have been suffering from manageable constipation for years, but this sudden aggravation in the past month is disturbing. I haven't seen a physician yet, but I was wondering if this could have some connexion with my practices. Grateful for your comments.
Krish |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Jan 31 2009 : 04:44:12 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by taljones
My life has consisted of many of these episodes. A part of me understands all the literature and I know how dangerous it is to tamper with such powerful forces. But another part of me feels like I'm a coward - like perhaps there is a threshold that I a supposed to cross.
Perfect conflict situation. It's not Yogic really and can be resolved pretty easily. The theory is that you have created two ego's. They are disassociated inside your subconcious.
I have had a few e.mails from members of this forum who have understood what I have said in previous posts and wanted to understand how to resolve the issue. This is not considered something that can be tackled except face to face but without trying how would we know, so lets try and see if there is a way.
Both (parts) egos want the same thing for you ultimately and only you know what they both want.
I have noticed this amongst many who have started Yoga on this forum. Unfortunately I think many start it to resolve an internal conflict. Several are trying to quit addictions (you know that one part of them wants to and one part does not and you see classic conflict-bipolar. Two people in one mind which we know does not fit with the single "I".
It occurs to me that meditation on it's own can be dangerous for some people and you have already come to the conclusion "tamper with powerful forces". It's not that the forces are powerful and dangerous, it is that you believe they are and that makes them real to you (watch someone with paranoia smoking weed, there is no need for the paranoia but the smoker percieves it as real, so to them it is entirely real). In effect it seems that meditation actually strengthens this conflict, so what is needed is to diffuse the situation.
So, here goes. I am going to do this in a similar way as I would treat any client. Taljones if you want to try it we will start this way. It would be better if no one else posted during this exchange as it will interfere with the process.
Taljones, if you would like to try this then simply reply to this first question. If not that will be fine also.
Well Taljones, it is an interesting point in the history of the world, things are changing and perhaps you can change too. What would you like to achieve from this session?
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Jan 31 2009 : 06:24:24 AM
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hi karl, i think that it's yogic really and i say that out of my own experiences with the subject.
and the advice which Christy gave is the right and safest way to handle what's happening with taljones and it works and i'm not the only one who can attest to that their are a lot of others like me here in the forums as well.
Ananda
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Jan 31 2009 : 1:24:43 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Ananda
hi karl, i think that it's yogic really and i say that out of my own experiences with the subject.
and the advice which Christy gave is the right and safest way to handle what's happening with taljones and it works and i'm not the only one who can attest to that their are a lot of others like me here in the forums as well.
Ananda
Hi Ananda,
and is it possible there might be other ways to achieve the same result ? |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Jan 31 2009 : 8:02:16 PM
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hi karl, i have nothing against that.
but still this thing mentioned above in my own opinion and out of my personal experience with the subject it's yogic and speaking for myself and for others here who found the way offered by the ayp system to be a very fast cure for the symptoms of a premature kundalini.
everything goes back to normal in 3 day or so after engaging in ayp...
but concerning your method it could work i'm not against that, but to say that this is something which is not yogic well i disagree with that and i'm actually afraid for the sake of taljones because i've heard about a lot of guys with kundalini syndrom who ended up in nut houses because of their affiliation with unknowledgeable doctors of the subject who label this kind of stuff as problems in the psychology of the person....
love,
Ananda |
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taljones
Canada
6 Posts |
Posted - Mar 02 2009 : 12:35:12 PM
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Forgive my lapse in response time everyone.
Before I write anything, I would like to thank both Karl and Ananda for their perspectives.
I agree with both of you. I think it's definitely yogic, as there is no doubt that it is kundalini energy that is rising, manifesting and ultimately opening in the crown which gives me a feeling where I am losing my ego or sense of self. I feel as though I am being pulled osmotically, upwards and into a vastness where I may not exist as I know myself to be. This feeling causes a reaction of fear, and consequent withdrawl. The attempt to pull back when this process is happening is difficult and unpleasant.
So I agree with Ananda, that it's yogic. As there are sensations of being pulled into a deep golden light and vastness beyond my comprehension. But I also agree with Karl, as there would seem to be 2 opposing forces. The one force, has it's own intelligence and seems to want to go to this sacred place of light and vastness, beyond. The other, is my sense of self, my ego. The part of me that I am comfortable with and safe with, which I do not want to lose or give up.
What causes my fear, is that I do not know of any other sense of self, beyond the regular me. It's funny, as I have been contemplating this subject for some time, and what I realize is that safety is a very big component of my mental programming. Everything gets filtered through safety. I always opt for the safe moves. When the ascent into the vastness and into the radiant golden light comes, I begin to lose myself, the feeling of this safe self, so fear results, then an automatic withdrawl back into the safe confines of what I know myself to be. I see this as a major obstacle to my development.
On some level I realize that this energy has it's own intelligence, and it would not want to rise and merge, and evolve, had there not been a grander evolutionary purpose. It has cause.
So in a way, for the last 10 years or so, I've been stopping my own progress. Out of fear.
Another thing that I have been contemplating, is the difference between speaking of spirituality, and actually going through the physical/spiritual process itself. Huge difference.
People take pride in doing yoga, and collecting books, and meditating, creating a sense of calm. But when things really open up, whether it's the great void of silence, or the powerful surge of kundalini, pulling you into the unknown, it's a whole other subject.
Everyone intellectualizes spirituality, but few have the adequate experience, that have traversed the thresholds that really need to be crossed. To speak of cosmic consciousness, and to experience it and be able to handle it spiritually/consciously, are very different matters.
I recently was listening to a selection by Ram Dass, who has worked with many guru's in India, and who I would have considered someone that is beyond the fear of the unknown. And yet, even he, mentions a threshold, a boundary, where the feeling of self begins to dissolve, and great fear sets in. I was surprised by this. And felt some comfort in knowing that I am not the biggest coward on the planet. :)
People as a whole, operate on a mental level. Music, a higher vibrational frequency, can lift us beyond the mental plane, and into a higher sphere. This has been my process. I am a musician, and through music, I can go beyond thought. But the bliss that singing and being immersed in music brings, is typically an arousal of kundalini energy, at least for me. And my troubles begin with not knowing who I'll be, or what I will be, if I allow myself to complete the process that seems to want to complete itself. Will I be sane? Will I be functional? What will be the result? Will I recognize my loved ones?
To answer your question Karl, I want to evolve. I think my biggest regret would be to not have had the courage to see this process through.
Once again, thank you to everyone. I feel grateful that good people have taken time to focus on my dilemma.
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Mar 02 2009 : 1:00:03 PM
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Hi taljones and thanks for coming back and continuing talking about your journey. Sometimes there IS benefit to talking, even though I agree with you that there is a BIG difference between talking about unity and experiencing unity and incorporating it into your daily life.
I think that the fear you are talking about stems from (for most people) fear of physical death and fear of having "unfinished business". At least this is the fear that I have felt in situations like what you are talking about. When "unity" happens, whether it be during meditation, during daily life, during sleep, or whatever, I think that main fear that happens stems from not knowing if this is "the end" or not. It certainly FEELS like the end to me! Everytime I have had an experience like what you are talking about and I have felt "the fear" it has always been because I felt like there was more I was meant to do on Earth and that if I am unable to come back I will not be able to accomplish these things. I do not know how to fully transcend the fear, but I would suspect that some more experience in this state of unity will likely help. Repeated entry into this place of cosmic union will likely help to break down the fear of re-entering it the next time. Each time the fear "should" become less and less until all you desire is to be "home" again. So....fear not! It is all happening as it should and Rome wasn't built in a day, so.... be patient!
Love,
Carson |
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taljones
Canada
6 Posts |
Posted - Mar 02 2009 : 3:01:17 PM
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Carson, you raise a really good point!
It does always feel like the end. Like a part of me is dying.
Strange that something so wonderful should involve so much fear. But that must be part of the process we're here to learn.
To let go of all attachments, and to evolve to a higher vibrational frequency or state.
I heard recently that all acts of creation carry with it an inherent
degree of destruction. So unity with the great beyond, is a type of beginning I suppose, and so if something must end, it would have to be this limited ego we're all used to. I think the ego always wants to do, and to accomplish and keeps things perpetuated.
It has to be one of the many traps, or negative forces, that keep us bound here, to this place. Maya.
I remember being very small, taking swimming lessons at the public pool. I'd immerse myself underwater, in the shallow end, and stare into the deep end. I felt fear. I felt like I would never be able to handle that depth. It was just too frightening. Of course with time, I became a good swimmer and spent all my time in the deepest parts of the pool. From that perspective, looking back, the shallow end seemed limiting and confining. Perhaps one day I will look back on my physical/mental form in much the same fashion. I hope! :)
That is how I feel about the process of being absorbed into the golden radiance of the great beyond. It's this entire vastness, that in no way includes my ego or sense of self. It's too vast and large, too infinite and without end or beginning, that I fear I may not come back if I completely go with it.
Fear of death. Fear of the unknown. Fear of losing the ego, or sense of I. Fear.
I was speaking to my dad of this subject yesterday, and I commented on the fact that I wish I lived in India, and had a proper guru to guide me through the higher planes. But it occurred to me that taking a person to the threshold of the infinite is probably not that difficult given the right techniques. I could have 10 guru's holding my hand, telling me it's ok, and I would still have to be the one willing to immerse myself into the vastness, and accept absorption with something I cannot even fully comprehend.
I dislike the degree of fear I feel, and how little we collectively understand the most important aspects of our being.
The guru is within, but is petrified of the unknown. :)
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Mar 02 2009 : 5:18:47 PM
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Yes....it is the ego that is scared of dying. And the process of releasing the ego is what it is all about. The less of a grasp the ego has on your awareness the less fear there will be. And the ego is losing it's grasp as we speak, so all is well. Best of luck!
Love,
Carson |
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jillatay
USA
206 Posts |
Posted - Mar 02 2009 : 7:57:02 PM
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Dear Taljones,
I think you are overthinking this. Fear is just a feeling, like the bogey man in the closet and he has no teeth. There is also great joy in letting go into something beyond words, beyond all this dusty life as the Buddha put it. Just plunge in and you'll see. You don't really go anywhere. All will be revealed.
Love,
Jill |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Mar 03 2009 : 04:01:50 AM
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Taljones you seem to know all the angles, you just need to let go now and trust me this active surrender is very much worth doing.
but it would be wise to self pace and practice stuff like deep meditation and spinal breathing pranayama just to be on steady grounds and after that with inner silence present as a foundation and with work on the third eye in order to control the crown you won't have to fear getting lost and even though you might be gone for some time don't worry you'll be back to your ego it happened with me yesterday and it has happened more than once up till now.
i used to be afraid as well when i first started to experience that stuff and fear was what brought me back but dive after dive, session after session the fear has gone now and what is left is the realization of the true self which is something really worth letting go of the ego for bcz it appears for what it really is something like a car taking us on a trip.
and by establishing a good practice you'll have a safe ground so no need to worry and in the end as Yogani puts it the ego will be transendent but not entirely gone.
all you have to do now is practice daily and "let go and let God" (Yogani.)
Free yourself, from yourself and enjoy.
kindest regards,
Ananda |
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taljones
Canada
6 Posts |
Posted - Mar 04 2009 : 11:58:46 AM
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You guys are so awesome!!!
Thank you for all the support and encouragement.
I will do as you all advise and trust that good people
have experienced this process and have come out all right!
Respectfully,
taljones
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Mar 04 2009 : 1:04:36 PM
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hello again taljones, the gone away part is a phase which we all go through at one time or the other and it will pass as well.
i have done translating this lesson 15 minutes ago and it is a very beautiful one which touched me deeply and smthg in it happened with me lately and i would like to share it with you.
http://www.aypsite.org/120.html
by the way Yogani you should've titled this lesson "the power of now" or "pure advaita"  |
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Goddessinside
158 Posts |
Posted - Mar 04 2009 : 6:01:20 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Ananda
hello again taljones, the gone away part is a phase which we all go through at one time or the other and it will pass as well.
i have done translating this lesson 15 minutes ago and it is a very beautiful one which touched me deeply and smthg in it happened with me lately and i would like to share it with you.
http://www.aypsite.org/120.html
by the way Yogani you should've titled this lesson "the power of now" or "pure advaita"
Beautiful lesson.. it says it all..
thank you Ananda for sharing it, and yes, I can imagine your joy during the translation in arabic..
Love (here and now is the only place to be!) |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Mar 05 2009 : 12:35:39 AM
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hi Goddess, of course you're very welcomed and you've been missed.
hope everything is going well with you, and that you have settled down with the move from up there where it's very very cold but sweetttt
love (f),
Ananda |
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Goddessinside
158 Posts |
Posted - Mar 05 2009 : 08:36:30 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Ananda
hi Goddess, of course you're very welcomed and you've been missed.
hope everything is going well with you, and that you have settled down with the move from up there where it's very very cold but sweetttt
love (f),
Ananda
Yes, it has been a freezing rainy move from up to down!!
But I did it!
Kris is back!
Feels so good and I already had 3 calls for work : nothing surprises me anymore.
It's all about energy and getting ready to receive it..
thank you for caring..
With Love. |
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Need Advice - my kundalini experience
