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Rattan
South Africa
41 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 24 2008 : 5:08:45 PM
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I would be interested to hear from others what their experience is with this issue - men and especially woman. Or is this for most a non-issue?
Staying pre-orgasmic when your partner is not knowledgeable about our practices seems to me to create some emotional issues. I have found that my partner just do not understand why I want to stay pre-orgasmic, and I get the impression that she has some emotions about this.
It has affected me to the extend that I now more often refrain from staying pre-orgasmic, just to avoid the slight tension from her afterwards.
And there are valid reasons why she will not accept any of the AYP thinking. So educating her is not an option. |
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anthony574
USA
549 Posts |
Posted - Nov 24 2008 : 6:33:19 PM
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| Maybe recommend some good reading on the subject. If she is not into yoga recommend some layman-friendly material. "Peace Between the Sheets" is a wonderful book on the subject and appeals to Western audiences. |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Nov 24 2008 : 8:21:32 PM
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Hi Rattan,
Ah yes, the trials and tribulations of a house-holder yogi, I know them well!
I find that to stay pre-orgasmic, a woman's cooperation is required. It is tricky business. I have had partners who were able to have tantric experiences and others who were not. In the latter case, I have found that a couple of partners had the idea that I wasn't truly satisfied if I didn't ejaculate and they weren't really pleasing me. I spoke openly about this with them and over time showed them how I was truly satisfied with the tantra feelings I would get prior to orgasm and that orgasm itself was a less satisfying option.
I have also had the experience where a partner was envious on occasion of the tantra experiences I was having so I toned down my enjoyment out of sensitivity to her.
In my case, I find it difficult to be as satisfying to a non-tantra partner without ejaculating if I haven't engaged in sex with her for an extended period of time or if I have had some non-ejaculatory tantra sessions in succession, so I make a point to ejaculate for my partner from time to time so she remains satisfied. This happens approximately every week to 10 days which is consistent with the AYP tantra lessons so we are not holding ourselves back.
I think the bottom line is that open communication is very important. If she understands your motives and trusts that you feel fulfilled and she is satisfied then hopefully all will be well and she will feel happy to meet your needs as well in sexual and sensual union.
ps- I should also mention that I find the energy drain much less when I ejaculate for her than when I do for myself. |
Edited by - Anthem on Nov 24 2008 9:41:30 PM |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Nov 24 2008 : 9:11:55 PM
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| With my ex, I would do whatever was necessary to make sure she had multiple orgasms that took all her energy, and eventually she would always stop me out of exhaustion. Then she would hardly ever ask about me. |
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machart
USA
342 Posts |
Posted - Nov 24 2008 : 9:40:31 PM
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My wife does not like it when I hold back...she is very giving and way higher on the spiritual path than me (although not a yogi) so I take her advice and enjoy the moment.
My take on this is that if you are doing tantra for your own benefit and not for your partner...it is not yoga. |
Edited by - machart on Nov 24 2008 9:55:04 PM |
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Non-tantric partner's feelings
