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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 12 2008 : 08:12:02 AM
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First...the breaking of the heart....once more watching the hurt of another........and also not "getting". Never getting......
Then acceptance.......
Sitting very, very still.....releasing the pain, the thoughts, the sadness.....releasing all of it.....as it came.
It took a few hours before everything was quiet inside.
There was simply nothing left "to do". Nothing.
In this condition....the mind is not used much. There is just a very, very quiet and blissfull enjoying. So I just sat here....for a long time. Not reflecting at all.
This was the condition when I started watching the videos of Mooji, brought to us by Christi (thank you) in this topic:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....&whichpage=2
I watched and the Joy increased. I stopped watching and watched the presence/Shine like so many times before. Same Joy. Back to the video......then the Shine. Like this....back and forth...for a while. Mind still not reflecting....just receiving.
Same Joy everywhere.
At some point.....the presence finally reached the mind. For the first time I directly understood that the one sitting there enjoying so much was not Katrine ....it was the Shine.....or rather that which is complete nothingness (impossible to describe) - yet aware of the Shine which is its own illumination.
I can't even begin to explain to you what an impact that had......other than saying that what I had taken to be myself......the person Katrine......it is not that she became nobody. It is simply that I understood that I had never been her. She had always been noone. The whole thought entity.....all of it.....had been taken to be real only because the awareness that I am was in it.....enmeshed with it. It collapsed.....in that instant..... And it can never arise again as something that has reality.....it's like the first time I saw that Santa Clause was my dad. If you see it - it is forever found out. Thought trails of it will still be here....lots of it.....maybe for a long time...I don't know. But it doesn't matter! It's like sitting on a bus listening to the person behind you speaking. You know it's not you......you don't even have to reflect on it.....it s so obvious.
And in this realization........when all the energy left "her".......it came to rest in that which I truly am.
I have been home so many times. But I never understood that "home" and "myself" was one and the same. I understood it at a deeper level, yes (as the awareness that has been so obvious in the energy that comes from this body). But now the surface is also conscious of itself. Everything is connected.....and it is all One. The two most profound implications of this is the fact that I can now completely relax in the knowing that everything happens of itself. And the fact that Katrine is noone.....well....in her "poof".....it became obvious that so are you. You and I are one and the same.
I always thought that when I finally "saw" what I am....that that would mean that I would always know what to do. But it is quite the opposite.
I don't have to know at all!
I watch myself doing all kinds of things - and yet I do nothing at all. I see the body getting up.....all by itself. I see that the writing of this post happens of itself. It is such an incredible revelation! The shine is perceived in everything....the difference now is that I perceive it to be myself. It is myself I see in the presence, in the chair, in the flower....in the street...the cars.......the other bodies.....all of it is myself! So....although I have earlier experienced the "everything is in me".....that I am the space that everything takes place in.....the feeling that I am also inside all that I watch....that I am the shine coming out of everything.......this....the bliss of this.....I cannot explain.
And I simply love everything I see.
As I love myself.
No difference.
And there is so much laughter.....
And now there will be surrender, surrender and surrender of all the thoughts, feelings, images....whatever it is that will come up as long as I am in this body........so that the service can happen unhindered.
I am going away for a while.
On a trip that was organized a while back..... .....giving a talk about Silence...the inner guru.
*laughing*.....imagine that!......*laughing*......it made the talk happen...before....
There's a plane to catch......and nothing more to say.
All is spontaneously unfolding 
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Nov 12 2008 : 09:58:28 AM
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Welcome home, Katrine!
When looking into someones eyes, it's like looking at our own image in the bathroom mirror... we see ourselves, as naturally as if it would be a mirror... although it's another being. Brings a very spontaneous joy!
And Yes... we fall in love with form! All forms. The mere miracle that we exist as form...
Wonderful to read!
Love, emc or me (or perhaps I?) |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Nov 12 2008 : 11:42:07 AM
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A beautiful post Katrine. Coming to an inner understanding that I am you and we are That is truly revelationary. This is wonderful for you. I wish you best on your trip and look forward to hearing from you again upon your return. Safe and happy travels.
Love,
Carson |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Nov 13 2008 : 10:30:12 PM
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Hi Katrine,
Thanks for your post, this part in particular gets me excited as it reminds me of a similar experience:
quote:
At some point.....the presence finally reached the mind. For the first time I directly understood that the one sitting there enjoying so much was not Katrine ....it was the Shine.....or rather that which is complete nothingness (impossible to describe) - yet aware of the Shine which is its own illumination.
I was sitting on the couch reading Yogani's Self-Inquiry book a while back and I had this shift in identification. Up until this point(only my whole life long) on most levels of perception I routinely thought I was this collection of thoughts which comprised "Anthem11" and all of a sudden, there was this subtle shift to realizing that I was the no-thingness watching it all not the "Anthem11" aware of nothingness. It was so quiet, just a change of view-point like when staring at one of those photographs that can be seen as different objects depending on the angle you are looking at them from.
This type of glimpse seems to be the kind that gets me excited on the inside and the energy/ ecstasy intensifies in the stomach to meet it. Hard to explain.
I hope you have a wonderful trip, you may have a lot of reading to do when you get home from all these replies to your posts! |
Edited by - Anthem on Nov 14 2008 10:31:39 AM |
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Suryakant
USA
259 Posts |
Posted - Nov 14 2008 : 12:53:44 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Katrine
.....giving a talk about Silence...
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Nov 23 2008 : 4:06:43 PM
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Hi emc, Carson, Anthem and Suryakant
Thanks for your encouraging posts!
I am back in Oslo after a fantastic 9 days in Dublin.
First being a guest speaker at the Bhudda Bag meeting at the Oscailt center (and yes, Suryakant......"giving a talk about silence*.....*laughing*......in the end it all boiled down to just being myself ...*laughing*......not at all quiet.... but at least rooted in stillness...)
I played the flute, we meditated and then I just told them how it all came about. And introduced them to AYP. It was great fun and the app 35 people there were such a lovely group.....a great mixture of bright intelligence, love, joy and simplicity. And all were deeply familiar with Silence
After the talk 10 people signed up for the workshop in the Gold room two days later. Sparkle from the AYP group Ireland organized everything and we filled up the cozy room sitting on bean bags. After flute playing and meditation the sharings could begin. We sat in a circle and I was simply one of them.....though guidence was given......every single one in the room contributed with their own wisdom and presence. It was simply beautiful. We displayed AYP books around the room so that anyone who felt inspired could buy the books. Sparkle introduced the group to Samyama.
On Sparkles request we included a 10 min session of eating in silence. We simply shared some grapes, and since the energy from the food I eat is immediately transformed into ojas...the silence gets very profound and is easier felt by others. I got great feedback from the one to ones later that week concerning this eating in silence (5 people signed up for private consultations). It is something I will definitely keep including in future sessions.
I am very grateful to Sparkle for organizing everything and later in the week I joined his AYP group for their weekly meditation. It is a lovely group of people Some of them I met at the retreat this summer, but there were new ones too. And three people joined the group after the workshop at Oscailt.
quote:
I routinely thought I was this collection of thoughts which comprised "Andrew" and all of a sudden, there was this subtle shift to realizing that I was the no-thingness watching it all not the "Andrew" aware of nothingness.
This is it, Andrew
You have not forgotten......be still........and then feel the joy of just being present. It is so AWAKE.....that which we are! The nothingness is that in you which enjoys this simple, simple fact that you just are.
The stay in Dublin ended with seeing Amma.
You can read about here:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=4790
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Nov 24 2008 : 09:40:55 AM
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Hi Andrew,
quote:
I was sitting on the couch reading Yogani's Self-Inquiry book a while back and I had this shift in identification. Up until this point(only my whole life long)on most levels of perception I routinely thought I was this collection of thoughts which comprised "Andrew" and all of a sudden, there was this subtle shift to realizing that I was the no-thingness watching it all not the "Andrew" aware of nothingness. It was so quiet, just a change of view-point like when staring at one of those photographs that can be seen as different objects depending on the angle you are looking at them from.
This type of glimpse seems to be the kind that gets me excited on the inside and the energy/ ecstasy intensifies in the stomach to meet it. Hard to explain.
Beautiful experience!
I guess that's what is meant by "I am That".
Seems so obvious in hindsight doesn't it.
Christi |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2008 : 5:12:20 PM
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I handed in my resignation at the office this week......this means 3 more months there before it is finished.
After Amma.....whatever was left of relative security is falling away.
I watch it happening.....and it triggers patterns of thoughts. The mind speaks......it has things to say.
"You are crazy - you cannot quit until you know more about the future"
"You cannot leave the country...just like that"
"What about your children?"
"This is like saying no to chemotherapy - we are not going through all that again, are we?"
I have worked 8 hours in the office, then 4 hours on stage at the theatre in the evenings......by the end of the week the fear arose quite strongly.
There is also silent prayer.
There is crying.
At the same time there is this intimate befriending with the darkness. It is so dark.......much darker than light.
I had the evening free tonight.
Just sitting here letting all of it surface and wathcing all of it sink and dissolve......
The presence is different after Amma.
She added the darkness.....or rather she infused......there is the ability to rest deeper. The darkness is nothing to be perceived. And yet it is here.
At the same time.....everything is stark.
There is a mercilessness about the starkness.
And yet....the fear dissolved.....from the touch of it.
There is just the sacredness now.
The surrender.....
The intense longing to serve.....
All it boils down to.....is the ability to just rest in this deepness. No thinking about future....just the ability to rest as the openness. So that action can happen naturally.
If not in rest in myself.....the courage immediately diminishes.
When not tempted to run with mind....
When not tempted to run with the judging of the mind...
Here everything is peace
Dark and silent presence.
Tender, tender love.
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2008 : 9:50:31 PM
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quote:
There is crying.
Why crying? |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Nov 29 2008 : 07:32:29 AM
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Hi Anthem
quote:
Why crying?
The crying happens when the longing for greater merging is all there is. When all the attention is on this moment only - then it is simple. And the crying happens of itself.
I woke up in the middle of the night - the room was filled with fear. Instead of labelling it as such.......there was noone to attach it to........the watching of it simply dissolved it.
Later on there was a lucid dream.
There was an empty doorway (the door itself was gone). The space on one side of the doorway was yellow and the space on the other side of the doorway was white. I was nowhere to be seen, yet I was all over the place. Amma was nowhere to be seen, yet she was all over the place too. And I spoke, yet the voice was not "mine":
"I now discern what is true and what is false.
Discrimination is effortless and immediate."
That was all.....I watched myself sleeping afterwards.
The ability to rest as myself was greatly challenged this week.... the workload in the office was crazy.....then the amount of concentration needed on stage in the evenings......all coupled with the impact of Amma.......and the heart in Ireland....
Yet - exactly because of this which looks like an impediment - exactly because of this....after handing in the resignation.....whatever there is of "friction" between what is and thought trails of "what should be" in the future are exposed.
To go with "what should be"...... to be unaware of the interest in it - is akin to not rest as myself.
And this has immediate consequences.
Every thought can be allowed. Thoughts are not in themselves a problem. Neither is the longing a problem. Nor the crying.
It is the allowing of it all that is the crux. To rest as myself no matter what.
After all - I am that which it all arises in. None of it can really touch that. And yet - the presence touches everything. Everything is made ok by it.
Of all that seamingly happened this week - only one fact stands out. I am leaving the office. The immediate response to that fact - which was immense joy, peace and laughter - is what is. All the rest is a story about it.
Life is too short. There is no time to lose. I am here right now. The life for own benefit only stops right here - or not at all. The courage will never be greater later. I know this from previous experience. The longer I wait to act on true understanding....the more resistance there is - the more complicated and the more entagled the beingness gets. This moment - this clarity - is it.
On the other hand - to try to make sense of the stopping.....to start building ideas as to why and how....this is again another entanglement.
And this is what happened. It was just made immediately clear because of the busy week. This is good. Had I been less busy..these trails may not have surfaced so poignantly.
Thank you Grace.
Everything is quiet today.
There are no worries.
Just a smile in heart.
Immense gratefulness.
Tears are very silently falling of themselves.
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Nov 29 2008 : 11:43:34 AM
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| Sounds like things are coming together. Thanks for explaining. |
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Lacinato
USA
98 Posts |
Posted - Nov 29 2008 : 11:59:12 PM
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| Wow, beautiful story. |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Dec 01 2008 : 2:59:37 PM
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Hi Andrew and Lacinato
Thanks for responding
quote:
At the same time there is this intimate befriending with the darkness. It is so dark.......much darker than light.
I know this sounds funny......but I have always perceived the darkness in light.....as if the light was permeated by a brilliant darkness......hard to explain, the words are not quiet correct.....
Anyway - when I say the darkness is darker than light....this is not quiet the right words either. I was sitting on the bus today.....going home from work.....and everything was clarity, shine and immence peace...though the bus was packed and the traffic as usual this time of day. And I rested as that deepness...somehow below this even....that I call "darker than light". But today it is clear that it is neither darkness....nor light. It is....simply not possible to define it at all. Other than the fact that it is here.
And while resting as this.....fact...that I understand not at all.....everything about the office, the leaving, the loss of security...just explained itself.
Being in the office....forced to occupy myself with numbers, strategies, people and circumstances that move always around "getting", "making", "succeeding", "competing"......there is noone here that wants that anymore. The only reasons I am still working there are the people themselves and the morgage on my apartment. Much have changed these past year and a half for them....
But I am moving away from there now.....
And though the realization of being noone at all is still fresh....I am still laughing every day because of it....I recognize how the job in the office is constantly "pulling" the mind into activity. I am not that stable as the stillness. That kind of work is "pulling me out of myself".
And this simply cannot continue. Whatever comes next will be something that ensures the resting as the deepness. When talking to clients...or giving healings....this resting as the deepness happens automatically. This very work itself is a constant effortless inward turning. It is the exact opposite of the office job. The same happens when I play the flute......I play a lot these days.....it is my form of dancing......the tunes instantly make themselves......I hear the music from within a fraction of a second before I play it......and all the love is expressed this way. And my heart is playing to the love also. I watch the playing happening of itself.....and yet I am both in it and beyond it.......
So....
These are the main reasons for stopping the office job. I am simply moved to do so from within. Today - because I had a long talk with my children this week-end - I made a deal with my boss to stay on until June. This gives all of us 6 months to adjust to whatever comes next. And I still don't know where that will be. It will come of itself.
My only task is to stay present. Silent within.
I have dropped all other activities after work. I rest as myself. I continue with the AYP meditation group and clients in need. But in a balanced way.
As for the security......the apartment is the last of "my posessions". The bank owns a big part of it.....but it is an investment still. Made for my children. Now that I am leaving the office I must lease it out. I will not sell it. One day, it might come in handy for my daughters.
So basically, wherever I am going, I will start afresh. From scratch.
Sorry to tire you with all this.....but it felt natural to sum it up
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Mar 15 2009 : 6:34:17 PM
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Hi
Got back from Dublin a few days ago....
It was great being there again.............the Shine is extremely vibrant in Ireland I don't know what it is....but the earth is breathing and emanating a deep presence there.... The satsang at Oscailt was with a small group of people.....we were 7 all together. This time the satsang was not a follow-up of another venue, so I am thrilled that somebody showed up
The theme was "true listening"........and for the first time I included singing of the devotional songs that come through here now and then.
It has taken a while......to let go of the tension that happens when getting ready to sing. See.....the singing will not work (bring people deeper).....if I am not totally vulnerable. It must be sung from the very depth of Heart. And earlier....the very action of singing brought up old patterns of fear. For years I used to get badly scolded (and even hit) if i sang or played a wrong note......and this fear lingered for years and years....long after the abuse stopped.
So.....the only way to transcend it was to listen past the fear.....let the voice flow in freedom....let the fear be as it was....stay open......and sing anyway. Eventually the fear subsided. But sometimes there are residues. During the satsang....since nothing is about a me anymore.....noone owns the fear...noone cares about "mistakes".....and it is not about "well done"....so this has freed the expression....
Before going to Dublin this time......there was a vibrational shift....
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....&whichpage=2
While as last time there was concern around "how to do the satsang".....this time there was none of that......there was just the flow.....and the love streaming towards the ones communed with. I had no idea how freeing....and how much more flow is allowed....just because all is about them and not about "me"......this goes for all the interactions with people.....if tuned to service.....the streaming of the love never stops......it is just amazing how that works......
I brought bread from Norway.........and prepared it with butter and cheese....and some apples......and someone brought pistachi nuts.....and I asked them if they were ok with us lunching together instead of going out for the break. They were.....so we shared the meal and the water in complete silence......most of the time in samadhi here.......some are sensitive to it and deepen by it....others don't notice much. But it is beautiful to share a meal like that
Over the next three days 10 people had one-to-ones.......two of them I visited (severe circumstances)....and three of them came to where I was staying. Which brought home another lesson here. This is what happened:
After the two first visits, the third client (which was luckily a friend) came and said that the owners of the place were upset that I had people over. It took me by complete surprise, because i rented a small cottage...own entrance....and i had no idea I was not allowed to see people there. Anyway - when talking with the owner afterwards it became clear that they were very upset and was really angry at a friend of mine that had booked the place. They thought I was making big business there......in a matter of seconds I pannicked......and actually lied to them about having received money from two of the clients. I did not want my friend to get in trouble because of me........
I tell you.....to utter that lie......is the most painful experience i have had in a long, long time. It was a great lesson.....to see how quickly....and unobstructed..... it came out of my mouth.....All because of taking it upon myself to protect/manipulate what was happening of potential harm to a friend.......and very much so protecting myself.....and emotionally harming the owners instead. Huffameg.....
Needless to say the owners were assured that no more people would be over. And the rest of the clients I was lucky enough to be able to see at a friends house (which was great).... initially we thought maybe a total of 3 people would book one-to-ones.....some remembered me from last time.....but some were total strangers...
Everything was set straight with the owners later.....I apologized to them and told them everything...(including the lying).....and explained to them what the work was really about....that it always costs me more money to go to Ireland than what I receive from the work....and that I was sorry for frightening them concerning not being liability insured on their property......etc etc.....so it ended ok..... And I certainly learned my lesson.
A highlight during the stay this time was meeting another woman that conducts satsang in the Dublin aerea: Jackie O'Keeffe. I had lunch with her and a friend (who is a wizzard at connecting me with people in resonance). Jackie was great....i wrote her to ask if i could display her website here in the forum...she said yes....you can read about her background and her work here:
www.jackieokeeffe.com
She is releasing her new book "Born to be free" sometime this summer. When I have read it I will post a review in the forum. It is bound to be good.....the woman is noone.........a vibrant, huge hearted, witty and very clear presence. It was a joy to share that meal with her and my friend....
I am conducting another satsang in Dublin again in the beginning of April.
Here in Oslo...things have also developped.....am reducing my position in the office by 20 %....and instead i will be working one day and one evening at a clinic in Oslo.....giving one-to-ones (healings and dialogues), hosting satsangs and teaching AYP meditation to groups.....
I will also teach AYP meditation at the Doula school starting this fall........a doula is a woman assisting women giving birth....not a midwife....but someone who assists by presence, calm and psychological support. Next week I will meet with a couple that is giving birth in mid June.....and i will hopefully be able to participate during the labour......by non-doing .....then I will have experienced the students "working room"......really look forward to that birth
Okey....that's about it....had a lovely hike in the Wicklow mountains.......saw a rainbow again.....lots more happened.....the face of Jesus is still in my heart....and everything seems to be about him these days.....walked into a church in Dublin (or was it Wicklow...)......and the first bench I passed had this inscription on it: "The Sacred Heart of Jesus".......I stopped dead......
The words of Kyrie eleison comes up inside all the time...out of nothing.....so am waiting for the music that will surface ......it will be another hymn.
Am stopping now......your ears must hurt
Night All 
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Mar 15 2009 : 8:14:06 PM
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2009 : 04:00:12 AM
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Hi Katrine,
Thanks for the update. Sounds like great things are happening.
Christi |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2009 : 04:04:37 AM
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p.s.
You probably know all this already, but above the 7th chakra is another chakra, which is said to vibrate at the level of the Christ consciousness. On the right of the heart chakra is the sacred heart, which is said to be the sacred heart of Christ. And between the two, it is said, runs a nadi called the amrita nadi, meaning the immortal river, or river of nectar. I was wondering, do you feel it?
Christi |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2009 : 2:53:27 PM
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Hi Christi
quote:
You probably know all this already, but above the 7th chakra is another chakra, which is said to vibrate at the level of the Christ consciousness. On the right of the heart chakra is the sacred heart, which is said to be the sacred heart of Christ. And between the two, it is said, runs a nadi called the amrita nadi, meaning the immortal river, or river of nectar. I was wondering, do you feel it?
I vaguely remember that you have spoken of this chakra before...the 7th chakra......I can't remember now in which post it came up. Anyway....I tend to forget these things immediately.....it is probably because I still don't see much...with the eyes....other than the shine....But for some time now (since last summer)I have been aware of the fact that there is a ......some kind of a portal way above the head....and when deep in Samadhi..my head tends to bend a little backwards so that the Ajna is aligned with this ....portal...or vortex...that I sense more than see....and when addressing the shine....the same thing happens...head will bend backwards....to somehow draw closer to the light....i don't understand any of it.....
The place to the right of the heart....that must be what I have written about before...what I call "the tiny crack"....or "the little doorless door" on the right side of the chest bone. It opens into a vast vast....void. I found out that Ramana M. spoke about it as "the spiritual heart"....is it this you mean? This is called the sacred heart??.....I see.....
Oh....this reminds me of something else that happened 8 years ago....something an American named Ed Bruder told me in a reading (it was my first and so far only reading). I will come back and write about it later if interesting...it will take too much time now...
Also...it is very weird that you should ask about Amrita today, Christi. I have written about what I call the vapour...or the sweet spray....that comes down from the head immediately after the first bite of food is chewed and swallowed...or if drinking anything but water..... (it has been like this for about a year now) but yesterday....while eating dinner at the kitchen table (every meal has turned into a sacredness..... because of the deep silence that happens during it).....the spray for the first time was "collected"......it comes from somewhere in the ....brain....I can't locate it....and it is ...not cold...but....cool....And yesterday is the first time I have felt it to be like a "flowing liquid"...it came down trough the back of the throat....and maybe also behind the esophagus....I can't remember now....and trickled into the chest...along the back of the esophagus....maybe both outside and inside it...i can't be sure now.
I can't believe you call it a river.....this is very significant for me...because it coincides with an important meeting I had in 2000....it changed my life that meeting. I wrote a poem (in Norwegian) about it.......
Tsunami
I am cooking dinner
The potatoe pot
is braiding the line
into my heart
I am totally
unprepared
I do not know
what is to come
A tsunami
floods;
in one moment;
away
everything I am afraid
to lose
Everything I am not
I have no control
over this earthquake
Like the surgeon
uncovered the hole
left where my heart once was
(he had a loving knife),
just like this runs
a big river
down from the heavens,
on its way into
my ocean
I go for a walk
at Mastemyr
The whole room inside and outside myself;
the sky, the hills, the trees, the air;
everything is permeated by a
humming, loving tone
It is holy hearable
I am in love
But I know not with what
This incident......you could say I never recovered from it.....luckily I never understood it at the time...but this was the first time I heard the AUM. Another strong synchronicity with the word "river" was involved...but I cannot tell it here...since it involves another.
I am not aware of the whole nadi from the 7th chakra and down.....I only perceive it from the head and into the chest. And this happens whenever I eat something. It can also happen if not eating.....usually I will perceive the sweet taste of it both in the throat and in the chest (not in the brain).
Why is it called immortal.....?
Is it like the stopping of breath that happens spontaneously? When withdrawn into myself....the breathing often stops.....and i watch myself not breathing and still being fine......it used to cause overload...but recently...since the heartbreathing.....(instead of Pranayama)...all the pressure is gone....and there is much better balance......
In addition to the heart breathing (see lessons:
http://www.aypsite.org/220.html
and
http://www.aypsite.org/221.html )
i also find great balance during the day by this:
Breathing the loving light in through the Ajna and breathing love out through the heart.......it is literally felt as if the breath is dispelled from the chest...not the mouth or nose. All the love can be spread this way......
Thanks for this helpful information, Christi.
As you can see from the previous post I am pretty mortal......there will always be self-inquiry....always be surfacing of patterns and conditionings.....always be blind spots......
But somehow.....we thankfully expand anyway....
Such is Grace....
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2009 : 3:11:32 PM
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quote:
After the two first visits, the third client (which was luckily a friend) came and said that the owners of the place were upset that I had people over. It took me by complete surprise, because i rented a small cottage...own entrance....and i had no idea I was not allowed to see people there. Anyway - when talking with the owner afterwards it became clear that they were very upset and was really angry at a friend of mine that had booked the place. They thought I was making big business there......in a matter of seconds I pannicked......and actually lied to them about having received money from two of the clients. I did not want my friend to get in trouble because of me........
I tell you.....to utter that lie......is the most painful experience i have had in a long, long time. It was a great lesson.....to see how quickly....and unobstructed..... it came out of my mouth.....All because of taking it upon myself to protect/manipulate what was happening of potential harm to a friend.......and very much so protecting myself.....and emotionally harming the owners instead. Huffameg....
Hi Katrine and all,
Some people might guess that I was the "friend" in this
It was a good lesson for me also. Although I don't think it would have been that same issue if I had been upfront about the whole this from the beginning. I did have it in the back of my mind that I was being a bit sneeky with the landlord. I did know that Katrine would not be making any money and that her costs would probably not be covered and another part of me said that this made it allright.
So there we go, it pays to be upfront and not sneeky
When Katrine told me over the phone that she had lied to the owner I felt a pain in my heart also. It was to protect me, I know that, but there was no need, and it just shows what a mess things can turn out to be when egos are interacting like this. Much cleaner and easier to be straight
From my perspective the visit was great. The satsang was a great success and practice of eating together and Katrines deep silence as a result of eating can be felt in the others, some quite strongly.
There was some sort of a shift for me during the lunch we had with Jackie O'Keefe. I had been to a Satsang of her's a week before and I just knew herself and Katrine would hit it off.
It was like a chemical reaction in the energy for me, something shifted and I think it happened for the three of us (may be wrong). It's like this is just the beginning of something much bigger, we'll see
It was nice also that Katrine was able to meet my wife and family this time, we had a lovely evening together along with another Norweigan friend, who is in our AYP meditation group.
My friends tell me I'm very lucky to have a wife that is so understanding, that allows good looking Scandinavian women to come to Ireland and not get phased about it
Katrine's next visit is the 5th April and then there will be the Annual AYP Retreat on 25th July. Hopefully we will have a few visitors from overseas this time also.
_/\_
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2009 : 6:00:33 PM
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Hi Louis
Thanks for chiming in
quote:
When Katrine told me over the phone that she had lied to the owner I felt a pain in my heart also. It was to protect me, I know that, but there was no need, and it just shows what a mess things can turn out to be when egos are interacting like this. Much cleaner and easier to be straight
Yes
The lie complicated everything. I do know that you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself in any situation.....but somehow I reacted anyway. However - this lesson has taught me much. On several levels.
quote:
There was some sort of a shift for me during the lunch we had with Jackie O'Keefe. I had been to a Satsang of her's a week before and I just knew herself and Katrine would hit it off.
It was like a chemical reaction in the energy for me, something shifted and I think it happened for the three of us (may be wrong). It's like this is just the beginning of something much bigger, we'll see
I am very grateful for that meeting. That's great about your shift, Louis. I cannot speak for Jackie, but meeting her definitely started a spinning of something inside here. Something was unveiled......something that I cannot see clearly yet....but it is substantial. I am sure we will all interact further.......for me...it was also that connecting with a space like that.......is so rare......is so free.....and renders the heart very light. I am very grateful for the kinship.
quote:
It was nice also that Katrine was able to meet my wife and family this time, we had a lovely evening together along with another Norweigan friend, who is in our AYP meditation group.
My friends tell me I'm very lucky to have a wife that is so understanding, that allows good looking Scandinavian women to come to Ireland and not get phased about it
Your family is lovely, Louis
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2009 : 09:22:51 AM
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Hi Katrine,
quote:
Why is it called immortal.....?
A hundred and one are the rivers of the heart, one of them leads up to the crown of the head. Going upward through that, one becomes immortal. (Chandogya Upanishad 8.6.6)
That comes from a text that is more than 2500 years old!
Another name for the Amrita nadi is the Brahma nadi, the river of God.
Yogani wrote about it here:
http://www.aypsite.org/199.html
quote:
As the crown opening and nearly purified nervous system mature, we are drawn up without the chaos and mayhem that is so common in premature awakenings. We are drawn up into pure ecstatic bliss. Then we can surrender...
We may be gone and not know where we were. Or we may have some celestial visions. When we do come back, we are somehow new, illuminated, radiating like never before. That is the beginning of the experience in the awakened crown.
Another reason it is said to be called the immortal river, is because it carries the amrita (nectar) which plays a part in the transformation of the body into it's divine (immortal) form.
Did you stop SBP and replace it with heart breathing because you found that SBP was giving you too many overload problems? Or did you feel drawn only to work with the higher chakras?
Christi
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2009 : 12:15:38 PM
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Thanks for all that wonderful information, Christi.....you are such a ......spiritual library
I certainly have not gone up "the river".......not to my knowledge, that is.......the crown is still maturing.....and if I listen to the AUM more than a few minutes at a time.....it leaves an aftermath of throbbing up there (from the vertex to the fontanel) that is on the verge of being painful. So I stay away from it.....even though it is very blissfull to be called by the AUM. I know that if I continue to listen to it then....I will be drawn up and out beyond control.....and the crown needs to mature more before that happens. It is just an inner knowing. So I honor it.
quote:
Did you stop SBP and replace it with heart breathing because you found that SBP was giving you too many overload problems? Or did you feel drawn only to work with the higher chakras?
It was both I guess.......see....I never think about it as "working on chakras".....(Probably because I know so little about that......and other things too.......I din't even know what a "rosary" was until being told in Dublin....imagine that )......The SBP...although going the route between root and ajna...the energy would often get stuck in the head.....but after it started to consistantly land in the heart ....the pull to "stay in heart" increased over time.... So when I found out about the heart breathing I immediately felt drawn to try it. And what a difference it made
It feels as if the cleaning of the Ajna is also enhanced through the heart breathing......
And it is not like the lower chakras are overlooked....the spine is buzzing from the root.....but the energy never gets stuck in the lower chakras. Something noticeable that has changed after the heart breathing is the fact that the feet buzz constantly......sometimes it feels like there are portals...or vortexes also way below the feet...into the ground.....and it has made it possible to perceive the ground as "alive". The earth we walk on is a living.....loving.......existence......maybe not an entity....but almost like that...it is a live togetherness the earth is..
When in Glendalough last summer......the grounding, magnetic hole in that stone in the circle by the upper lake anchored the body deep into the earth....there were "white threads" going from the feet into the earth over there that i can still perceive when "looking" from inside....
I hope to go back there in April.
Jackie.....the satsang woman in Dublin.....she said she could see the white threads (she sees auras too).....and suggested that I go back there "just to stroll around". You would like her Christi....she is very refreshing and clear
Thanks again |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2009 : 02:12:22 AM
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| What is a "rosary"? |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2009 : 03:37:01 AM
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Hi Katrine,
quote:
Thanks for all that wonderful information, Christi.....you are such a ......spiritual library
I've been called some things in my time... but never a spiritual library!
quote:
I certainly have not gone up "the river".......not to my knowledge, that is.......the crown is still maturing.....and if I listen to the AUM more than a few minutes at a time.....it leaves an aftermath of throbbing up there (from the vertex to the fontanel) that is on the verge of being painful. So I stay away from it.....even though it is very blissfull to be called by the AUM. I know that if I continue to listen to it then....I will be drawn up and out beyond control.....and the crown needs to mature more before that happens. It is just an inner knowing. So I honor it.
I would certainly honor your intuition there. I wasn't suggesting that you did anything with your crown, only asking. If you feel pain in the crown chakra then definately be cautious. If it spins out of control it can start a roler-coaster ride that can go on for years. I really appreciate the AYP lessons on how to aproach the crown chakra.
quote:
When in Glendalough last summer......the grounding, magnetic hole in that stone in the circle by the upper lake anchored the body deep into the earth....there were "white threads" going from the feet into the earth over there that i can still perceive when "looking" from inside....
There was a time when I lived on an earth energy centre. It was quite an amazing experience.
quote:
You would like her Christi....she is very refreshing and clear
I am sure I would.
Christi |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2009 : 05:15:04 AM
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Hi emc,
quote:
What is a "rosary"?
As I'm a walking (or rather sitting) spiritual libruary ... a rosary is a string with lots of beads on it. In sanskrit it is called a mala (or more excactly; maala). Christian monastics use them to help them say prayers... and Hindus, Buddhists and Yogis use them to help them say... mantras.
I should apply for a job at Wikipedia.
Christi |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2009 : 12:22:19 PM
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Just to add to what Christi said about the rosary.
It is used in the Catholic tradition to count the Hail Mary prayer. So it is used to give devotion to Our Lady or the Divine Feminine.
It consits of five sets of 10 beads interrupted by a more spaced out single bead and basically one says 10 Hail Marys and one Our Father (The Lords Prayer) and so on.
What people often miss is that when said in fast repetition especially by a group it takes on the quality of a mantra and one can go very deep with it.
We used to say the rosary as a family and it was very profound, for me anyway - my siblings thought it was a pain in the A**
We also tried it as an experiment after some of our AYP group meditations because one of the people had a particular fondness for it. It worked very well for most but others had negitive memories of having it forced on them as kids, so it was scrapped after a while.
I think, like any of these things, the more devotion to Our Lady, when saying it, the more profound it gets.
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