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Holy
796 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 02 2008 : 5:02:56 PM
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Hello everyone,
some weeks ago I wrote an email to Yogani about this topic. He adviced me to write it in the forums with the hint "if needed". So I took this hint and watched myself some more weeks and how it is doing. Today I had the input to post it here, perhaps it helps others too, if there is some kind of similiar experiences in this.
Lets come to the point, I have experimented with various kinds of pranayama, meditation and physical body activities like tai chi and co. There was a time of being high all the day through intense pranayama and meditation with heightened blissfull awareness. Kundalini activity ws insane in this time period. The problem started with people noticing my apparently white skin and gently asking the reason for it. In that time, I also lost about 25 kg of weight and for some months even stopped eating meat. As you see, I gave this the maximum I had. Comments like "you look half dead, come back to earth" didn't concern me at all. After 2 years of practice, I stopped everything and within some months, this white bloodless appearance was gone and I looked healthy and vital again (no weight change). Paradoxically, my energy level, life force and happiness state was the exact opposite.
Again after some time starting with meditation, the moment I got up from it, my blood left the skin and I looked like a zombie again. Within meditation the breath often stopped for unknown periods of time, and the blissfull absorbing gave peace over peace. My awareness was heightened like in those 2 years of excessive practicing, sharper vision, energectic body feeling and as the awareness increased, bliss and love did as well.. Within some hours after meditation, this heightened state decreased to a more basic level and together with it, blood overflow my skin too. The transition between wide awake in a sensual way and deep asborbed within blissfull awareness inside got faster and easier over the years and I don't know how to handle it.
I thought about unclean energy pathways that leads to this blood-"problem", but the need of breathing was very low and I felt very comfortable with not breathing for many minutes periodly over the day. Without noticing, the breath stopped out of itself and I entered a state of extreme clearness and aliveness, noticing it after some minutes and then often forcefully breathed, because of the observed whity-skin-no-blood "problem".
Yeah as you see, it's not a really problem for me, it feels natural, but people around me get very afraid of it, especially the opposit sex many many times tried to bring me back to earth, as they said.
A doctor check of my blood levels show perfect values, the doc even joked about my body having too much red blood cells.
Backing of meditation helps, backing of pranayama helps, some little minutes a day is enough for some hours of absorbed heightened no blood in skin states. Ah and yes, the outer seems to get more cold everytime too for some hours and I loose any feeling of a fleshy body, its like the body is desensiblized too.
Would be thankful for any kind of help, or is it just the big hint to back off from world for some time, die and come back.. ?
Thanks in advance,
don't take it too seriously ;),
greetings,
Holy |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Oct 02 2008 : 11:21:45 PM
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Hi Holy....Welcome.
A few questions for you so we can all help better diagnose the potential issues. Can you outline your practice schedule with times please? How long do you do pranayama and meditation each day? Do you split it up into twice a day or do it all at once? Are you now practicing AYP completely or are you mixing styles? Are you on any medication? Have you ever tried accupunture, homeopathy or energy massages? Once you outline a few of these details I think you will probably get a few bites from other forumites.
Best of luck.
In Love,
CarsonZi |
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Holy
796 Posts |
Posted - Oct 03 2008 : 08:26:23 AM
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I thought that this question will come. I will give more detailed information later this day, for now: There is no stability in practice, as there is no real wish for anything to reach. It's just like, practice happens from time to time, deepening every time to new levels out of itself, me watching this happening.
It's really indifferent which technique I do, 1 year kriya only, 1 year ayp only, 1 year pure pranayama a la hatha yoga only, this happens everytime the breath slows and stopps over extende periods of time. Every practice and tecnique I did leads to this. Seems like breath is the source of movement, the breath stops, everything stops.
Later I will give more detailed information, thanks again for your opneness =)
Edit:
It's very complicated, as some techniques have stronger effets in lets say 10 minutes then others. Hatha Yogic bhastrika pranayama + kumbhaka instantly awakens kunda to degrees that you think death is coming, everytime you do it. This can take about 3-4 minutes of kumbhaka (not that you don't awaken in unimaginable bliss everytime you go through this whatever it is). The next hours is heaven on earth together with your half dead appearance. I stopped those intense techniques one year ago, but someway the transition-ability to blissfull awareness beyond mind activity never went away. The moment my body calms down, it happens and the body calms down out of itself more and more. Some months I lose my self in extreme activity, no practice at all, just studying for exams and doing lots of sports, eating meat over meat, the skin looks blood-overflowed again.
Some weeks ago I started with AYP techniques again, this spinal breathing really is a jewel between many pranayamas. The slower you get, the more intense awareness increases within the spinal nerve, time expands, bliss arises. Mula bandha and sambhavi happens automatically and kumnhaka after some breaths too. The more I let, the more happens out of itself. And letting is like relaxing into don't-careness moment for moment. Taking back control needs intense willpower and feels absolutely unpleasant. Due to studiying, I take it short, after 10 minutes of pranayma + kumbhaka, I wait until the mantra comes out of itself, lke a habit once built some years ago, it comes and expands the pronounciatian of the syllables differently every time. The movement of the word expands to various parts of the body, flowing in circles, up and down, making the body dance in micromovements until it flows easily through the body and the movements stop. Breath slows down, mind activity slows down, breath stops for some seconds, comes back, stops some more seconds, comes back, mantra goes on again, deepening into refinement, breath stops again for longer periods, mind too and so on.. Most of the time, I stop the session and go to the university. And it feels like the breath has slowed and flatten down. It goes like this until the next morning I do the practice again. The blood leaves the skin all the day and awareness is extremely heightened. If I stop practicing for some days, to 1 week, I look more normal too. I break the mantra session after about 20 minutes, so all in all it's half an hour + some minutes getting physically grounded again.
Some days when there is nothing to do, I rest in this never-want-togo-out-peace for longer periods of time, seems to be analog to my bloodactivity and I look more whitened. Seems like the question resolved itself again, as alawys. Writing it down like this makes it very clear.
Thanks for clariication, perhaps there are some more with similiar experiences. |
Edited by - Holy on Oct 03 2008 10:11:51 AM |
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riptiz
United Kingdom
741 Posts |
Posted - Oct 03 2008 : 10:50:01 AM
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Hi Holy,
Have you considered reversing the method of spinal breathing to work downwards instead of stimulating shakti to rise?
L&L
Dave |
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Holy
796 Posts |
Posted - Oct 03 2008 : 12:39:55 PM
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Hi Riptiz,
yes, but in a taoist way of focusin down to the feet. Shakti not only rises, whenever I relax and watch, it flows in various parts of the body, calming it more and more down, increasing in speed, dancing and even flowing out of the body, circling around and coming back. Watching this play even more stops the breath activity, but resisting it is painful too. Not that this itslf is the problem, it's more like: does this blood-transition-appearance get smoother and faster or... to be honest, the deeper I look into it,the less I find anything to talk about =P
But thanks for the idea, did you try it out and have experience with the reverse routine? When I try it out now, it stimulates the same route too. I don't see any direct relation to the "problem", perhaps you can make it more clear. |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Oct 03 2008 : 12:41:25 PM
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Hi Holy,
Thanks for clearing things up a bit. I still hope you will answer the questions about medication, accupunture and such. Meds could cause this as a contraindication to pranayama depending on the meds. Accupuncture could really help I think. But in my opinion what will solve this all would be for you to drop pranayama spinal breathing all together for a while and concentrate on meditation. All the time you dedicate to pranayama you should dedicate to deepening your inner silence. you got the energy thing tagged, but how about the silence part. You don't go anywhere but to the hospital if these two things are not in balance. To me it sounds like you do too much pranayama and not enough meditation. Try this and see what happens. It can't hurt anything.
In Love,
CarsonZi |
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Holy
796 Posts |
Posted - Oct 03 2008 : 2:09:25 PM
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Thanks for the answer. No medication, no accupunture. Seems as it did not get clear enough, anything leads to the same, breath stops. Meditation is the king in this respect, but things settled down itself. I eat lots of meat, perhaps this food balance is needed too. And somehow, breathing during the day fastened and deepened effortlessly too. Perhaps this whiteneing comes of the noncontinuity of practice, making the start everytime a too intense change of whatsoever in the body. Today bloodlevels in the skin look normal again, thanks to all. I report after some time again, if it's of any help.
Edit:
Sry if my answer sounded rude. The skin-blood-level is fluctuating, it's nothing stable. Changes from hour to hour, so I don't know anything, again the same conclusion as always =P I will give stopping pranayama a try if it gets worse again. |
Edited by - Holy on Oct 03 2008 3:58:53 PM |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Oct 03 2008 : 4:36:50 PM
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Hi Holy,
You could always try stopping ALL spiritual practices if nothing else fails as well. If this works and once you stabilize you could slowly start adding 5 mins of DM twice daily for a couple of months and see how that goes. If that goes smooth you could continue to up your practices until you eventually stay stabilized with both practices and skin tone etc. If the practices are causing the problem you need to stop them and let yourself get balanced before continuing. And start slow. It sounds like you are one of those ultra-sensitive to meditation type people's that many around here seem to envy (kidding) Best of luck.
In Love,
CarsonZi |
Edited by - CarsonZi on Oct 03 2008 4:42:07 PM |
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Scott
USA
969 Posts |
Posted - Oct 03 2008 : 6:02:21 PM
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My opinion is that if you feel fine and the doctor says you're good, who cares if you're pale? The results of your meditation sound great. |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Oct 03 2008 : 7:06:07 PM
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| Haha. I like that advice Scott says the whitest boy on the net... |
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Holy
796 Posts |
Posted - Oct 04 2008 : 11:06:33 AM
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@Scott
girlfriends make the most problem out of it =P, if I would live in the mountains, who cares, you are absolutely right =)
About "the whitest boy", you have similiar "probs"? |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Oct 04 2008 : 1:48:07 PM
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haha, other then genetics, no. I am covered neck to toes in tattoos so I guess I'm not technically "white" anymore either. I was BORN a "white" boy, and by that I mean WHITE. I've always looked pale, have the kind of complexion that gets a sunburn quick and then peals and is the same color as before . So sorry but no, meditation didn't cause MY pale issues, just my genetics. Scott is right though, if it isn't causing you any harm physically, which you seemed to indicate when saying that the doctors said there was nothing wrong with your tests and even joked with you, so if you are ok with being a little pale, and the meditation is working out great, then let things take their natural course. Let go and let god!
In Love,
CarsonZi |
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Health Issues through Meditation (?)
