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Sonali
India
8 Posts |
 Posted - May 16 2008 : 7:52:54 PM
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| Does anyone suffer from guilt that is affecting their meditation routine? I am not able to be at peace and its been more than a couple of weeks this way. I have always been emotionally attached to this close male friend but I have now started having secret feelings for him. Both of us are married and I know all of this is just mental but have not been able to stop this feeling of unrest, anger, jealousy. Its been a thunderstorm of emotions that I am not able to keep in control. Can someone help? |
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jillatay
USA
206 Posts |
Posted - May 16 2008 : 9:16:54 PM
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Dear Sonali,
I have had problems with guilt too, mine for different reasons but still guilt is guilt. In our culture we have been taught that to have self loathing is holy and that includes great remorse for real or imaginary wrongs. But I have learned recently that this is so not true. Someone told me this once and I am so grateful to have learned it. The Buddha even named remorse as a hindrance on the Path. Dwelling in any negative emotion hurts us. Guilt tricks you into believing that you deserve to be unhappy. Don't be fooled into it. Just embrace the highest of your Bhakti and it will soon dissolve.
Also, getting a crush on someone, while not normally understood as such, is just another sign or symptom of purification. I learned this the hard way. Falling for someone is really just seeing him as living metaphor. It is falling in love with that wonderful essense of yourself seen in another.  Please be kind to yourself and use this other person's image as an inspiration. You can't get into trouble if you see your higher nature as loving his higher nature. Hope this helps.
Love to all,
Jill |
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Divineis
Canada
420 Posts |
Posted - May 17 2008 : 04:23:35 AM
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| Try a "just sit, be and watch" sort of meditation. Those always center me no matter how distracted my mind is. Doesn't matter what comes up... just watch it. And when you can't help but interact with it, watch that, there's no need to get "out" of it. |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - May 17 2008 : 09:02:38 AM
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Hi Sonali,
A bit of Self Inquiry helps when you have the confused, tormented and torn feeling within. Have to read "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie? It maybe very helpful. If you don't have access to the book, this website may help http://www.thework.com/thework.asp
Generally, it is something trying to find its way out and the mind latches onto things that are happening in life and applies all those feelings and emotions to the situation. You maybe going through some major purification. The best is not to act during one of these phases... because it does pass.. the intensity does reduce.... and maybe will result in a heart opening.
Every time something comes up, that makes your insides twist with pain, take it within into silence and offer it to God/Silence/Awareness. This Nithyananda Video may help you get the technique: Technique & Meditation: Using Love and Anger to fall in
It maybe hard to see this right now, but this maybe a blessing. Not many can feel the intensity that you are feeling. If you can convert this intensity, this tremendous energy, towards spirituality.. you will get a lot out of this experience. Life gives us many situations/opportunities, God/Life leaves it to us to decide if we will use it to get closer to the silence(God/Shiva) and hence release some of the karmas we have accumulated, or get more caught up in our everyday life, our mind stories, and add more to our karma.
Hope this helps.
Wish you all the best. |
Edited by - Shanti on May 17 2008 10:57:29 AM |
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jillatay
USA
206 Posts |
Posted - May 17 2008 : 2:20:18 PM
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I wanted to add something to my post. When the witness dawns we fall in love with everyone! Indescribable! 
Love to all,
Jill |
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Sonali
India
8 Posts |
Posted - May 18 2008 : 10:48:28 AM
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It maybe hard to see this right now, but this maybe a blessing. Not many can feel the intensity that you are feeling. If you can convert this intensity, this tremendous energy, towards spirituality.. you will get a lot out of this experience. Life gives us many situations/opportunities, God/Life leaves it to us to decide if we will use it to get closer to the silence(God/Shiva) and hence release some of the karmas we have accumulated, or get more caught up in our everyday life, our mind stories, and add more to our karma.
i]
Thank you Shanthi. That is excellent advice. Its a hard road ahead. I just need to figure out a way to convert this energy into a positive energy.
[i]Falling for someone is really just seeing him as living metaphor. It is falling in love with that wonderful essense of yourself seen in another. Please be kind to yourself and use this other person's image as an inspiration. You can't get into trouble if you see your higher nature as loving his higher nature.
Jill that is great advice too. It somehow gave me a peace that I did not expect.
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AYPforum
351 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2008 : 4:53:36 PM
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| Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement |
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Meditation and Guilt
