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Jack
United Kingdom
305 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 30 2008 : 12:43:12 PM
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Hey,
How is everybody today?
Around four months ago, I stopped AYP practice as I believe I had been overtraining and suffered for it emotionally. I was becoming ungrounded and suffering moodswings. I believe I was pushing it too hard again.
Around the same time, I saw a guided Chakra meditation set on www.ideagasms.net, and I guess I was attracted to the idea of balancing, integrating and grounding. I was attracted to the idea of opening the root/sacral/solar and heart chakras so that I could become grounded, feel self-sufficient, feel stronger, and maintain an open heart..
..oh man, Yogani said something about getting lost in Chakra tangents.. he isn't wrong.
I learnt somewhat about how these Chakras and parts of my body correspond to feelings&issues. However, I got into the trap of trying to open my sacral chakra to feel abundant, sufficient and trusting, then having to open the solar plexus front & back to feel I owned my own strength, and this kind of spiralled into a big self-manipulation trip.
And after four months of that, I don't feel much better inside for it.
In fact, the heart meditations opened me up to feeling completely loved, joyful, playful, and blissful.. for about an hour, and then I crashed HARD. I have been yo-yoing emotionally like crazy.
I guess I want so bad to enter 'heart consciousness', where every molecule of the universe can be seen for the love at its source.
ANd it is as if since having those high experiences, I am being shown and challenged with every shred of negativity in my being. I've been feeling angry and depressed for days now.
I was advised simply to keep surrendering the feelings and issues, and I am doing all I can to get out of the way, but the feelings are so intense!
All of this is leading me to become re-attracted to the AYP system here. Self-pacing and whole-system purification.
I have had enough of emotionally freaking out on these ups and downs. I would be happy if I never felt another thrill of nervewracking bliss again!
My questions are:
Does awakening have to be this painful?
Have you found AYP to bring you into Heart-Consciousness, ie. seeing all as Love/God, freeing you from the illusions of pain, fear, insecurity, neediness, shyness, 'the shadow', and do so consistently and allow us to live from there, 24/7?
If so, what was required in term of sacrifice and practice to bring you to that point?
What has your experience been with Chakra meditation?
What is a good way to quickly temper this nervous-wreck style emotional burnout caused by an imbalanced energy?
Do we, as a trend, become emotionally uplifted and less prone to negative thinkig&feeling, as we continue to practice?
What affect has practice had on your social abilities and life? Are you more playful and friendly?
I recall with the AYP system, I would go very quiet inside and have nothing to say to anybody. I quickly became 'boring'. When the heart opens, do we naturally go outwards with love and joy and plenty to say?
I have not met many yogis or meditators, so I don't know what to expect, really!
I guess the ego's ultimate list of demands is:-
"I don't want to be blissed out silently. I want to feel grounded, alive, creative, I want to feel playful, I want to connect with people honestly and have FUN and give them LOVE and joy."
This is an egoic post. Such is my level of consciousness today.
Thank you for reading and Namaste.
Jack
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Black Rebel Radio
USA
98 Posts |
Posted - Jan 30 2008 : 2:59:10 PM
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Hey Jack.
This is with regard to your yo-yo-ing emotional state and really in general to everything you said. This is from my own personal experience and it is in line with what AYP suggests.
You just have to let go and be what you are right now. Try to quit worrying about how other people perceive you and just be the best person that you can be.
It is with the subtle intent and the simple devotion to twice daily practices that you will keep growing towards that love and grace.
It is when we think to much about this and that chakra and this kind of energy and that kind of mudra and about becoming awakened and reaching realization that we drive ourselves crazy. Constantly trying to compartmentalize and categorize our experiences and yearning to know how your experience matched up to someone else's. It can be interesting stuff but when you get obsessed with it you quickly derail into imbalance.
Everyone's journey is different.
I am convinced now that by using the holistic, easy approach that AYP offers and ignoring much of the "under the hood stuff" that we will reach our destination safe and sound.
I think you would be best served by starting your AYP practices again and taking that bhakti that you have and try to tone it down and channel it into showing up for your twice daily practices.
The most important thing is to be rock steady in your practices and don't keep jacking around with the time and the number of practices.
In between practices go out and be active and bring your warmth and grace to the rest of the world.
My routine is 10 minutes of Asanas (from AYP), 5 minutes of Spinal Breathing, 10 minutes of Deep Meditation and then 5 minutes of Samyama followed by 10 minutes of rest. I do this before breakfast and mid to late afternoon everyday (always before meal time). I may chant Om a few times during the day as well.
Start out again like you had never heard of AYP and just take it easy and be cool. Don't even worry about where it's going to take you or when and how you are going to get there. You are just going to get there.
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Jack
United Kingdom
305 Posts |
Posted - Jan 30 2008 : 3:31:01 PM
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That resonates correct to me..
Thanks, man! |
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yogibear
409 Posts |
Posted - Jan 31 2008 : 08:15:35 AM
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Hi Jack,
Do we, as a trend, become emotionally uplifted and less prone to negative thinkig&feeling, as we continue to practice?
Yes, it is the whole idea. Flight/fight responses calm down. Rational thinking and lucid insight increase. If the instinctual responses stop firing, then you have less and less fear or anger clouding your mind, and you feel happy and peaceful, and can become more creative and productive. Make sense? It is very simple. You are rewiring and and activating different parts of your nervous system. You are calming down the animal parts and firing up the parts that produce higher states of consciousness. This is a very long range project in most cases. It depends on your Karma.
You have to have complete patience and a long range view.
What affect has practice had on your social abilities and life? Are you more playful and friendly?
Only improvement because of the above. Just live and enjoy life on all levels and meditate 2x per day.
I recall with the AYP system, I would go very quiet inside and have nothing to say to anybody. I quickly became 'boring'. When the heart opens, do we naturally go outwards with love and joy and plenty to say?]
Just be normal. You are like an athlete who is devoted to his training regimen. The only difference between you and other humans is that you are activating higher parts of your brain thru regular training. We all have the same potential. Only some are awake to it and some are not, in varying degrees.
Go inside deeply when you meditate so you can be fully engaged completely involved when you are living. That is the idea. If you are not doing that, then you have to just get back on track when youu realize you are not. Which you are doing now.
By the way, my teacher told me not to concentrate on the lower chakra regions. Stay above the solar plexus and don't expect anything. Just enjoy what ever results you get and don't over do it.
Personally, I love concentrating on my heart. It has an extremely balancing and salutory effect on my mind and body.
Get the big idea and all else follows. Hope you find something helpful in this post.
Best, yb. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Jan 31 2008 : 08:51:23 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Jack
My questions are:
Does awakening have to be this painful?
Awakening is painful only when you are over doing. Excess purification is uncomfortable. That is why AYP makes such a big deal on self pacing. And.. don't feel too bad.. we have all gone through excess time and time again.
The body gets used to any new opening, however at first, before the body/mind (ego) have adjusted to the new opening/perspective, it can be uncomfortable. If the purification/openings are in small doses, the body gets over the changes seamlessly or with very little discomfort. As you purify further.. further openings will either be harder or easier.. depending on how much you have dropped ego.. and how much or how little you attach to the opening and symptoms of purification. That is why you were told to:
"I was advised simply to keep surrendering the feelings and issues".
However, most people don't realize, trying to surrender is still doing/ trying to control. Surrender just happens. Trying is what gets us into a lot of trouble. It's good to have the intention of surrender, but trying to surrender is like trying to understand your professor when he is explaining how to solve a Calculus problem when you are not clear on how to add or subtract. If you are really uncomfortable.. please self-pace and get over this phase first.. then when you are stable again, practice without attachment to goals and expectations.. this is a huge step towards surrender.
quote:
Originally posted by Jack
If so, what was required in term of sacrifice and practice to bring you to that point?
The only sacrifice you have to make is to drop the attachment to progress and desire to experience things the way your mind thinks it should be. The practices you need to do are spinal breathing & deep meditation twice a day. When you have some inner silence, you can introduce self-inquiry. Also, as and when you are ready you can add other AYP practices.
quote:
Originally posted by Jack
What is a good way to quickly temper this nervous-wreck style emotional burnout caused by an imbalanced energy?
Self Pace.
-Cut down on practice drastically.
-Eat heavier foods.
-Long walks.
-Exercise.
-Stay away from anything that ignites/increases your bhakti and/or is very inspiring, like spiritual books, music, chanting, mantra, spiritual groups, videos etc.
-Read this post http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....D=3236#27811
quote:
Originally posted by Jack
Do we, as a trend, become emotionally uplifted and less prone to negative thinkig&feeling, as we continue to practice?
As you progress, you are less and less attached to "thinking".. being uplifted and being down are both extremes of emotions. You get more and more centered and appreciate both extremes in emotions with equal love and unattachment. It does not mean you become dispassionate and aloof and get a "couldn't care less" attitude.. just the opposite.. you have a "really care" attitude without the "needing to hold on/cling on" attitude.
quote:
Originally posted by Jack
What affect has practice had on your social abilities and life? Are you more playful and friendly?
I recall with the AYP system, I would go very quiet inside and have nothing to say to anybody. I quickly became 'boring'. When the heart opens, do we naturally go outwards with love and joy and plenty to say?
-What you experienced "social behaviour" wise is just a phase. Your body/mind is getting used to your new found silence and new perspectives (trust me on this, many have gone through such phases and wondered if they would become totally unsocial). As you open more you will find yourself in your true nature again, meaning if you are the social kind.. you will enjoy people, if you are the artistic kind.. you will enjoy your art, if you are a giver.. you will enjoy giving, if you are the silent kind,, you will enjoy your solitude.. all of this you will enjoy with passion, but without attachments and expectations.. this will make your interaction more positive for you and others.
quote:
Originally posted by Jack
I guess the ego's ultimate list of demands is:-
"I don't want to be blissed out silently. I want to feel grounded, alive, creative, I want to feel playful, I want to connect with people honestly and have FUN and give them LOVE and joy."
Well, your ego cannot have all of this.. Not while it's involved..
Yes, you can be playful and connect and have fun and (truly) give without the ego involved.. When you see though your ego and it drops or at least it looses it's grip on you, you can be what you really are without all the excess stories that prevents you from being your true self.
quote:
Originally posted by Jack
This is an egoic post. Such is my level of consciousness today.
... And it is not really an egoic post... these are very common questions that arise is almost everyone's mind. Asking is really a huge step in the right direction.
Thank you for asking and wish you all the best.
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Edited by - Shanti on Jan 31 2008 09:01:55 AM |
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Jack
United Kingdom
305 Posts |
Posted - Jan 31 2008 : 2:44:31 PM
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Thanks guys, my heart is singing today.
Your advice and good energy are beaming over the monitor!
I'm back on the program. 10 minutes deep meditation, twice a day, easing into it and plenty of rest after. Already feeling more calm and positivity.
I think I may be the sensitive type, the inner silence kept coming and going today outside of meditation. Think I'll take it nice and slow. :)
Wow, all the confusion in my first post feels like it is starting to melt away in a warm pool of acceptance inside.
Shanti - the 'phase' part of your post was especially reassuring. Thank you.
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cosmic_troll
USA
229 Posts |
Posted - Feb 02 2008 : 08:06:04 AM
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Hi Jack,
My humble advice is to take it nice and slooooooow. Give yourself a few months before ramping up your practice, even if you feel like nothing's happening. I say this as someone who's prone to over-doing it and suffering emotional/energy imbalances from it.
"I don't want to be blissed out silently. I want to feel grounded, alive, creative, I want to feel playful, I want to connect with people honestly and have FUN and give them LOVE and joy."
I can relate to this. I'm not very advanced here, but this is the direction I seem to be going in: More Joy, more connection to people, feeling alive, being creative, etc.
Don't get discouraged if you become more introverted at first. This happened to me and I worried about it because I wanted to become more heart-centered and more social. More connected to those in my life.
But this introversion was just a phase and I've been coming out of it lately.
You seem to be doing fine, Jack. Self-pacing gets a lot of coverage (and rightly so), but I think it's also important to stay on the cutting edge of your own transformation. We have a natural desire to want more, and to want to add practices. This is a great Joy, just do so wisely.
Wishing you steady progress and vibrant aliveness!
cosmic |
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AYPforum
351 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2008 : 10:53:47 AM
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| Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement |
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Tibetan_Ice
Canada
758 Posts |
Posted - Feb 10 2008 : 01:05:03 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Jack
Does awakening have to be this painful?
Hi Jack,
You will benefit from any chakra work that you do. The front chakras are concerned with feelings and the back ones are concerned with will. But the chakras also give the magical mystical powers which kundalini is supposed to awaken as it rises. I don't think your kundalini can arise without those blockages being removed.
I have done a lot of chakra work in these past 6 months. Yes, I have laughed, loved and cried a lot. On some days I can look at a picture of a sick person and just start crying. On other days, I can't bear to watch the news. It's just too shocking. I don't watch TV anymore except the weather station and that's bad enough (this last week the outside temperature has been -30 degrees below zero and when you sit on the car seat it feel like hard bread!).
I can no longer stand being angry or having negative feelings. They're just so coarse and disgusting and heavy!!! The sooner I can get rid of them the better.
I think that most men don't cope with their feelings, instead, they bottle them up and compress them into their etheric bodies where they manifest disease and blockages.
A great way to open chakras and clear them is to use crystals. When you place a crystal, like garnet for example, on the root chakra and there is pain, it means that it is clearing and realeasing that pain for you. However, by clearing the pain, you sort of relive the emotions or experience that clogged the chakra.
You can also open chakras by imagining them spinning clockwise or counterclockwise. It is also a good idea to learn how to close your chakras after opening them too! Another way to clear chakras is to ask Jesus to help. Prayer works wonders if you are so inclined.
I don't understand why Yogani has a reluctance to incorporate chakras into his tool kit. It is not as complicated as some of the explanations I've seen that Yogani has written about regarding other advanced yoga practices, and most books on kundalini B Gita, Autobiography of a Yogi and others, like this link http://www.dlshq.org/download/kundalini.htm talk about the role of chakras.
quote:
Originally posted by Jack
What is a good way to quickly temper this nervous-wreck style emotional burnout caused by an imbalanced energy?
I found that deep silence meditation is sort of like taking a sedative and helps somewhat. I also practice shaking. Shake your body. Shake your arms, your legs, your whole body. Go running. Jump around the house. Bark like a dog. Dance! Be happy! Release!
Here is a quote from Barabara Ann Brennan:
quote:
"Vibrating your body means to hold your body in a position of tension that sets up involuntary physical vibrations in the body. This will increase energy flow and release blocks. These exercises are well known in core and bioenergetic therapy.
Stand with your feet parallel and shoulder width apart. After you complete the aura charging exercises given above, stand and again simply breathe out when you go down and in when you go up. Bend your knees as much as you can; let your legs begin to feel tired. If you keep doing this long enough, your legs will begin to physically vibrate in an involuntary way. If they do not, start a vibration by quickly bouncing up and down on your heels. Allow the vibrations to work up into the upper part of your legs and your pelvis. With practice, these vibrations will spread over your whole body. This is a very good way to create a strong energy flow throughout your body. Once you get the feel of it, you can devise exercises to cause any part of your body to vibrate in order to increase the energy flow through that part. In this case, one usually needs the pelvis to vibrate in order to enhance the earthly energies flowing through the first and second chakras. Later, when you are in a healing situation, you can slowly roll your pelvis back and forth (while in a sitting position), then add a little short, fast vibration to the rolling motion. This should help the pelvis vibrate. You will feel the increased energy flow throughout your whole body. "
From "Hands Of Light" - Barbara Ann Brennan
There is also kunlun, which is very similar to Brennan's explanation to incorporate involuntary shaking. Bounce your legs! I used to do it all of the time when I was a kid and do it now every day.
Good luck!
:)
TI
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Chakra obsession & Qs on AYP
