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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 03 2007 : 4:56:58 PM
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Hi
Some time ago I was having difficulties with my job. Constant run ins with my boss about silly things. This went on for a couple of years.
One day I came to the conclusion that I could have no expectations from this person or from the company.
I was expecting fairness and some honesty and was reacting like a bold child when I didn’t get it.
When I gave up all expectations about these people it was like a burden lifted off my shoulders.
However, I was also sad. I somehow felt they should be like I wanted them to be and that having no expectations was a drastic step and a sad state of affairs. It felt empty to me, as if I had lost something valuable.
In a recent retreat I attended, Sister Jina von Hengal, a Zen Nun from Plum Village in France, talked a little about expectations.
She was saying it’s good not to have any expectations about anything.
Of course this is living in the moment, yeh!.
Thinking about this I began to drop expectations about all sorts of things. Don’t expect anything from anyone – good, bad or indifferent.
It feels very freeing for me, this particular way of approaching it, when I don’t expect anything from anyone I am constantly surprised.
This plays out with “spirituality orientated friends” also (and just to clarify, I have lots of these outside of AYP). This was a good lesson because I somehow had expected a certain level of integrity and honesty and was reacting, again like a bold child when I didn’t get it.
It’s not that I have any more or less integrity or honesty than the people I refer to, it was just my expectations – the cause of my suffering.
This has given me peace and allows me enter the witness state more easily – nice to be back there again. 
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Edited by - Sparkle on Nov 03 2007 5:03:49 PM |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Nov 03 2007 : 6:47:28 PM
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The great thing about having no expectations is that you're very often surprised.
Most people have lots of expectations, and go through life being disappointed or irritated (when expectations aren't met) or bored (when they are). Surprise is only possible when you view what's happening with fresh, spontaneous eyes. And delight requires surprise. How often do we see people experiencing delight in day to day life? Not very. And this is why.
I think it has to do with freshness. Our expectations stem from our interior memories and habits, which we project on What Is. As we do so, we experience less and less....we're alive in the general abstract classification of what's happening (another kiss, another lunch, another drive, another wait on line, another boss) rather than in the actual happeningness. We don't even pay attention, because we've been through "this sort of thing" umpteen times...and this is just more of that (and I hope it goes THE WAY I LIKE THIS SORT OF THING TO GO this time!). One ignores the specificness, the uniqueness of a given iteration, and life turns into a gauzy generalized cloud where nothing is actually experienced as-is...it's all gummy with projection and generalization. And, even worse, the cloud seems somewhat menacing (because things generally do not go the way I like this sort of thing to go).
Expectations are what that toddler has as he intently turns his toy plastic steering wheel while daddy drives the car. Sometimes the car happens to turn per his command, yielding fleeting satisfaction. But often it does not, yielding anger, disappointment, and frustration. The natural tendency, upon noticing this, is to try to empower the toy steering wheel, so that expectations can be better met. Many (most?) people do spiritual work in order to more powerfully and reliably effectuate their will. But better to simply let go, with loving trust, into the moment, because our human will is always flawed, yet a divine will can fill our sails if we'd only let it. |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Nov 04 2007 10:29:48 AM |
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Kyman
530 Posts |
Posted - Nov 03 2007 : 11:58:40 PM
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No expectations has really freed me up to focus on what is important in my life, or what I think is most important. A truly distant future, pondered upon, dreaded, escaped, tackled, is all but gone. Now there are only momentary flashes in my mind of a distant scene that feels to me to be quite nice. Possibilities born out of my devotion. Then it's gone and I'm just doing my practices. A few years ago, I was so worried about everything a young man was worried about And then some! Now I don't need to formulate a future by forcing the concrete pieces together. My future stems from my dialog with the moment, and it can be utterly beautiful at times. I'll get to where I going when I get there, and when I do I can bring along a very refined sense of joy. I will be able to share a great deal of myself with others.
I think this perspective comes into one's life when you can get a handle on the first two limbs of yoga. If you haven't, living without expectations might not make sense. It might even seem ridiculous. But if you can, you run fewer circles. Your efforts become concentrated and maximized. The blessings of conscious intent.
Expectations ultimately blind you, because we see what we want to see. |
Edited by - Kyman on Nov 05 2007 7:41:01 PM |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Nov 04 2007 : 09:41:36 AM
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Oh, lovely topic!
A very, very common trap, in spite of Yogani's and all others' wise words of not being hooked up on experiences, is to build expectations from them!
"If I had this deep experience it must mean I'm closer to enlightenment."
"My meditations are going deeper and deeper... I'll soon be there if I only keep my practices."
"Wow, I had my first dive into the void. Now it'll be easier to get there again"
Spiritual experiences tend to build expectations of oneself getting deeper, closer, to become more filled with energies give expectations of becoming a more powerful manipulator of divine energies... etc etc
It's all about the mind building ideas of the future. None of it is true. We can not know if we happen to be one of those who gets enormous amounts of deep spiritual experiences for years without getting enlightened, or if we happen to be one of those who hardly ever experience anything but gets enlightened over night. Expectations... Yes, better to just drop them! |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Nov 05 2007 : 5:49:12 PM
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Hi
Thanks for the different perspectives about expectations.
quote:
Jim said:
I think it has to do with freshness. Our expectations stem from our interior memories and habits, which we project on What Is. As we do so, we experience less and less....we're alive in the general abstract classification of what's happening (another kiss, another lunch, another drive, another wait on line, another boss) rather than in the actual happeningness. We don't even pay attention, because we've been through "this sort of thing" umpteen times...and this is just more of that (and I hope it goes THE WAY I LIKE THIS SORT OF THING TO GO this time!). One ignores the specificness, the uniqueness of a given iteration, and life turns into a gauzy generalized cloud where nothing is actually experienced as-is...it's all gummy with projection and generalization. And, even worse, the cloud seems somewhat menacing (because things generally do not go the way I like this sort of thing to go).
I like this Jim, it brings it into moment to moment living and the freshness that comes with that, beautifully explained.
That toddler has a lot to anwer for on this forum.
Thanks Kyman, a lovely explanation of how you live in the present moment.
You suggested a link with the first two limbs of yoga. Would you say the description of the first two limbs as detailed in the following link, would be a map of how a person would look if they had no expectations?
http://www.expressionsofspirit.com/...ht-limbs.htm
If it is, I'm afraid I’ve a long way to go
After my initial “no expectations” experience referred to above and the ensueing peace that followed another thing started to happen.
I went for a walk that evening and found the thoughts and consequent emotions arising again. I introduced “no expectations” into the equation of thought and the angst dissipated.
However, as I continued the thoughts continued to resurface and as I continued to knock it dead with “no expectations” it continued to resurface.
The “no expectation” then had a delayed reaction of bringing up related feelings – in this case, a lot of anger.
I decided to take care of this anger as an energy in its own right.
By breathing in peace and breathing out anger, over and over.
Also I recognised the anger as me and not something foreign invading me. In this way I imagined the anger as a small child and nursed it lovingly to myself, and I breathed in the peace and breathed out the anger.
This is a very powerful and effective practice and recommended by Thich Nhat Hanh.
This did the trick, I feel peaceful again.
Then I began to think things like – if I have no expectations about someone, how can I trust them, for instance.
When I get to know someone, what does this mean?
How will I actually like someone if I have no expectations of them?
Perhaps one of you cleaver clogs can help me with this - that is if you can mix a bit of duality in with the non-dual stuff
Thanks
Louis
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Edited by - Sparkle on Nov 05 2007 5:53:43 PM |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Nov 05 2007 : 8:53:25 PM
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Problem is you can't aim for "moment to moment living". "Be Here Now" is a cheesy spiritual platitude, nothing more.
The way out is not to find a better way of doing (i.e. striving to be less striving, worrying about worrying too much, fearing fear, etc). The answer isn't in just more doing, it's in letting. All the projections and delusions I described are the fruits of our doing. And more doing just adds more gunk to the situation. Paul Maccartney ("Let it Be") said it more deeply than Ram Dass ("Be Here Now"). Maybe that's why he sold more records? ;) |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Nov 05 2007 8:54:43 PM |
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Kyman
530 Posts |
Posted - Nov 06 2007 : 12:02:37 AM
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I have a long ways to go, as well, Louis. And I hope you are giving yourself a fair shake. It might take a life changing and affirming conscious commitment to reach the ideal, but I bet everyone of us experiences the ebb and flow of those qualities. When we try to follow them or explore them , sometimes a few of them click and we have a peak experience or some powerful release. This might lead to a serious attempt to embody the ideal.
You can expect a person to honor a commitment, but you cannot expect them to be perfect. We can expect dinner to be ready at 7pm, but if it is over cooked that is a part of the deal. Should we blow a gasket if our favorite dish is ruined. Say one partner isn't fulfilled by the other, they might desire that dish more than usual.
I think we shouldn't expect much. If you live another day, be grateful. Get in touch with your desire and you'll know what causes you to anger. Our identities can use expectations to build a projected future, and that is an existence of tolerating one's life so they can live in a fantasy. It is a life of not listening to your emotions and what they are begging your to consider more deeply.
Expectation is a good tool, but we don't need that in order to build a life. That is why we have dreams. Dreams, and peace of mind.
Fortunately, none of this is difficult to get past. We just need to keep showing up for practice. Nothing is an issue when we realize it, and if our body has been crafted to hold the divine, this simple realization will be all it takes to still the mind and rest the soul.
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Edited by - Kyman on Nov 06 2007 12:22:44 AM |
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tallis
Hungary
71 Posts |
Posted - Nov 06 2007 : 04:00:42 AM
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quote:
Most people have lots of expectations, and go through life being disappointed or irritated (when expectations aren't met) or bored (when they are). Surprise is only possible when you view what's happening with fresh, spontaneous eyes. And delight requires surprise.
That's beautiful, Jim - and true.
Last week a student of mine actually asked if I was 'on something.' But it was just the 'high' of working without expectations, and feeling the delight that you're talking about. And that's how I always feel these days. I can't believe that in the couple of months I've been doing AYP practices, it should have such a profound effect in so many areas of my life.
Thank you Yogani!!!!! |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Nov 06 2007 : 08:47:12 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Sparkle
Then I began to think things like – if I have no expectations about someone, how can I trust them, for instance.
When I get to know someone, what does this mean?
How will I actually like someone if I have no expectations of them?
Began to think!!!! ... the root of all expectations eh?
What makes you think you have to like someone.. isn't that an expectation too?
The mind is very crafty... it has an awesome defense mechanism.. that is why it has survived for centuries.. It knows how to change its colors like a chameleon and protect itself.. with practice and self inquiry you come to a point where you start watching your mind.. getting to see it for what it is.. feel great you can identify your ego.. you know how to not get caught up in ego.. ahhh!!! wow this actually works... :)... Sure... your ego just took up another form.. I know how to catch my ego.. I can watch my mind..
What Jim said in this post is true... working with your ego is like stomping on roaches.. one at a time.. there is always another... the best way is to transcend the mind.
quote:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....D=2794#24425
My point is that for this understanding to yield a change in actual real world experience, it has to come organically and from deeply within, or else you're just stomping on cockroaches (and there's always another cockroach!). Those seeking a roach-by-roach solution are advised to love the roaches rather than stomp on them. It's best, of course, to simply transcend rather than to fiddle around.
...and I am not there in any way.. I have just been watching how sneaky the mind is.. how it adapts to survive.. So all I can do right now is watch it play its games.. most of the times not get caught up in them... and continue my practice.
I am not discouraging you Louis... it is not an overnight process (for most I have to say.. I mean there is Tolle and Katie..). It is a beautiful unfolding.. Yoga helps, self inquiry helps.. however what helps the most.. is not getting caught up or stuck in anything. Allow... allow things to flow.. be amazed and grateful for everything revealed to you.. have no expectations.. not just from life, but also from practice... that is letting go.. when you let go even that smallest expectation.. things unfold more easily.. less restriction.. more flow... more flow.. more revealed.. And yes.. I say revealed.. because that is what it feels like.. feels very familiar.. like it was always there.. like you always knew about it.. something was just covering it up.
PS: I am not saying self inquiry is not required.. yoga and self-inquiry are all tools we need in this path.. all I am saying is.. not to get stuck up in anything.. the more open you are to changes.. the easier it is for your inner guru to guide you to what you need next. |
Edited by - Shanti on Nov 06 2007 08:55:59 AM |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Nov 06 2007 : 09:56:59 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by tallis
[quote] the 'high' of working without expectations
The expectations happen before the happening happens. The coloring and judging happens after the happening happens. The mind never happens during the happening. And the happening, which is exhilerating, fresh, and has NOTHING to do with mind, only happens NOW. There IS no "after now", and there is no "before now", so that's all just part of our nuttiness. The only thing that is real is NOW.
Trying to be in the moment happens before and after (so it's illusion). Trying to suspend expectations happens before and after (so it's illusion). All there is to do is to relax into the universe as it is right now (without quarrel or expectation)....and realize that's the only place we can ever be anyway!
There are some philosophical quagmires in the above. So my pragmatic suggestion for readers along a simple experiment. Consider the universe to have a tempo, like a dance tune. Go for a walk, and try to feel and stay in that tempo. Don't fast forward or reverse the tune! And, soon, notice how all thinking seems to happen a slim moment after...the mind can ONLY be "behind the beat". So....just groove in the tempo. Surprisingly, it works, and offers a taste of what I'm saying. |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Nov 06 2007 : 10:09:41 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
I have just been watching how sneaky the mind is.. how it adapts to survive..
I don't think that's quite it. I realize that some traditions make this all a battle against mind - that it's a malevoent force trying to derail you. Some even talk about destroying the mind.
The mind can indeed derail, but it's not malevolent. It's actually trying to help, but just overeagerly. My favorite analogy is Bugs Bunny being told by the gangster to get in the car...we're going for a RIDE. Bugs gleefully, exuberantly, puts on his riding clothes and dashes into the back seat, clapping his hands and saying "oh, goodie...I LOVE rides!"
Thank heaven for Hanna Barbera; finally summing up with perfection what spiritual teachers have been groping to explain for untold millennia. THAT"s the mind. "We're going to get enlightened and transcend the mind! Goodie! I'll help!!! What do we do first?"
The mind is like an eager concierge on speed. It's out of control. But it's never trying to harm. There are dark parts of us, but they're a different thing. That's just our subconscious cesspool of habits and memories, and they quietly affect EVERYTHING, not just mind. But that's another issue.
Here's a great big whopping tip - one which will sound good as you read it, but which will be exceedingly difficult to remember when it's most needed: Any time you perceive conflict or friction, respond with love. Love the cockroaches. Love the mind. Doing battle with these things divides the universe, and any division of the universe is a manifestation of (and a reinforcement of) our perceived separateness. Never, ever slay. Always always embrace. Find the ability to embrace more and more, even the unthinkable. You needn't approve of it. You just need to love it. Because it's all God, and so it's all you.
I can't think of a better definition of yoga. Even in some stupid asana, like trying to touch your toes....if you do battle with your hamstrings and try to tame them into submission, that's just not going to do it. You learn to melt into it, and that comes from embracing rather than confronting.
So, Shanti, the neutral witnessing is great. But can you bring yourself to love it? Not like a boyfriend or a son or daughter, but as God (or The Flow or whater term you like to use...sorry, spewing around the term "God" is just the worst sort of name dropping). |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Nov 06 2007 10:10:53 AM |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Nov 07 2007 : 05:48:04 AM
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Hi
Thanks for the great input
What I am hearing and the conclusion I am coming to (but still open to a complete u-turn), is one of returning to surrender.
Just surrendering to the flow, to divine intelligence, to Buddha nature, to Christ, to the Awakened in me.
If I am a speck on the petal of a rose, let the rose grow and blossom, if I resist by expecting this or that of other people, I will suffer.
I will suffer because the rose is going to grow the way it is meant to according to some divine plan, whether I decide otherwise or not. May as well just surrender to that.
Funny though, what brought this up for me is in my relationship to a group of people I am working with.
There has been a lot of angst in the group and I have been the one who stayed out of it over the past two years. It was through the application of surrender that this could happen.
But now the thing has snowballed and I am being drawn into the turmoil that has been brewing and coming to the boil.
I’m beginning to see that my surrender had something missing. That something was,
ACTION that comes out of knowing.
quote:
As Shanti said: all I am saying is.. not to get stuck up in anything.. the more open you are to changes.. the easier it is for your inner guru to guide you to what you need next.
quote:
And Kyman also: Our identities can use expectations to build a projected future, and that is an existence of tolerating one's life so they can live in a fantasy. It is a life of not listening to your emotions and what they are begging you to consider more deeply.
My nature is fairly layed back so I would be inclined to let things, that are said and done, go, and just move on.
Unfortunately this has landed me in a lot of bother in various avenues of my life because I forget the importance of healthy communication. In the short term it’s ok, but in the long term a disaster.
So surrender in this case, which includes surrendering expectations, seems more like having one foot in surrender and one foot in expectations.
The expectations are completely time bound, they can only exist in past and future in the mind, but are the mind maps out of which we can communicate.
The surrender is the letting go of the grip of these expectation, of the way the hand of expectations can enter ones entrails and twist and turn them at will. Then when the eyes behind the hand are looked at, it is realised I am looking at myself.
I surrender to myself and stop beating myself up.
To both surrender and communicate then is my challenge. To allow the guru in me to guide me, to be open to this guidance.
This is actually the scary bit for me – to do what I know needs to be done.
To do what I know needs to be done – I hate that!!!!!
Does any of that make sense to you guys?
And I agree with Jim entirely when he says to love everything.
Surrender and love, surrender and love.
quote:
Kyman said
Expectation is a good tool, but we don't need that in order to build a life. That is why we have dreams. Dreams, and peace of mind.
When you say dreams, do you give this the same meaning as a vision of something, a vision that you can be carried along by. By holding a dream or a vision we can surrender into it and be drawn to its completion?
Emc, could a dream or a vision replace the expectations you might have about practice. What would your dream be?
quote:
Jim said: So my pragmatic suggestion for readers along a simple experiment. Consider the universe to have a tempo, like a dance tune. Go for a walk, and try to feel and stay in that tempo. Don't fast forward or reverse the tune! And, soon, notice how all thinking seems to happen a slim moment after...the mind can ONLY be "behind the beat". So....just groove in the tempo. Surprisingly, it works, and offers a taste of what I'm saying.
Thanks Jim I’m going to try this.
Thanks folks, your brilliant
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Nov 07 2007 : 08:13:50 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Jim and His Karma
I don't think that's quite it. I realize that some traditions make this all a battle against mind - that it's a malevoent force trying to derail you. Some even talk about destroying the mind.
I may not have been clear in my post... I did not mean sneaky as in sinister.. but like a kid trying to get something.. they will use every trick they know of and then some more to get what they want.. right from tantrum, to drama, emotions, actions to please you, sweet talks, etc. None of these are meant with malice.. Its the same with the mind... and there is nothing you really can do but watch it and love it.
quote:
Originally posted by Sparkle
What I am hearing and the conclusion I am coming to (but still open to a complete u-turn), is one of returning to surrender.
Louis.. My ego thinks your ego thinks right . Seriously though.. yes.. surrender is always the answer.. doing your practice (meditation, self inquiry, or whatever else your practice includes) with loads of bhakti and dropping the expectation (surrender)... trusting your inner guru will show you what you need, when you need it.. knowing life knows what it is doing... and there really is nothing but the now to be in. |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Nov 07 2007 : 09:40:45 AM
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Hi Louis
quote:
Surrender and love, surrender and love
Yes - in the sense that love is what naturally surfaces when surrender is allowed. And there is no end to surrender....it doesn't stop anywhere. It is this that is the outflow: Loving action.
To not expect anything is a great attitude. This attitude includes the acceptance of the fact that I do often expect. To watch it is very freeing. If I notice that I condemn it....simply watch that too, watch instead of taking trips with any of the thoughts.
quote:
This is actually the scary bit for me – to do what I know needs to be done.
Yes, I can relate to this, Louis. The scary part for me is that I am told to do something (from inside) - and I don't have a clue as to why. I don't have the luxury of knowing why. But - even though I am scared (it might be something that clashes with my opinions) - life shows me again and again that it is a blessing to be told.
This inner .....non verbal communication.... is itself the blessing!
In fact - I can always rely on it to be a blessing. Not to come through for me and my ideas....but certainly to come through as itself. When I am relaxed and open, I experience this....as so certain....that expectations are superflous.
When it rains it rains.
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Nov 07 2007 : 09:56:58 AM
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quote:
Emc, could a dream or a vision replace the expectations you might have about practice. What would your dream be?
Haha! I don't agree with that dream/vision thing. It's not going to be what you imagined anyway.
I have a strong sense of "moving towards an already present knowing of what's at the end of the rope". It's not a dream, not a vision. Just a deep sense of recognition that is ever growing. |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Nov 08 2007 : 04:56:24 AM
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Shanti said:quote:
Louis.. My ego thinks your ego thinks right . Seriously though.. yes.. surrender is always the answer.. doing your practice (meditation, self inquiry, or whatever else your practice includes) with loads of bhakti and dropping the expectation (surrender)... trusting your inner guru will show you what you need, when you need it.. knowing life knows what it is doing... and there really is nothing but the now to be in.
Cool out, woman
Katrine said:quote:
To not expect anything is a great attitude. This attitude includes the acceptance of the fact that I do often expect. To watch it is very freeing. If I notice that I condemn it....simply watch that too, watch instead of taking trips with any of the thoughts.
Yes, this is important for me Katrine, thank you. To be aware of and observe the expectations, another layer peeled away for observation
quote:
Yes, I can relate to this, Louis. The scary part for me is that I am told to do something (from inside) - and I don't have a clue as to why. I don't have the luxury of knowing why. But - even though I am scared (it might be something that clashes with my opinions) - life shows me again and again that it is a blessing to be told.
This inner .....non verbal communication.... is itself the blessing!
In fact - I can always rely on it to be a blessing. Not to come through for me and my ideas....but certainly to come through as itself. When I am relaxed and open, I experience this....as so certain....that expectations are superflous.
When it rains it rains.
Phew!... yes not so difficult on the small decisions in life, when one applies it to the major ones it can turn life into a roller coaster ride, havn't been on one of those for a while, if ever , I guess I've been too cautious, your very couragous Katrine
Emc wrote:quote:
I have a strong sense of "moving towards an already present knowing of what's at the end of the rope". It's not a dream, not a vision. Just a deep sense of recognition that is ever growing.
Is this not the same as a vision, in a different format?
My understanding of a vision is a sort of insight that could be described as a deep sense of recognition of something.
Dream is more confusing for me because it can be related to fantasy and such. What u think 
Thanks everyone
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Nov 08 2007 : 4:23:47 PM
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Louis,
For me that is not a vision; vision implies something that can be viewed: an image, a picture to hold in front of you, to move towards. A vision is fixed as a goal, although perhaps of an utopian non-realistic kind.
A dream is also an image to me. A castle of air, a wish of SOMETHING defined in the future.
What I feel is not a clear image of an end goal as a vision or dream - the focus in what I wrote is not on the end of the rope - the MOVING is the focus! The GROWING of the recognition/the feeling of knowing. Not the knowing itself. See the difference? Expansion.
Of the enchilada.
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Nov 08 2007 : 4:59:40 PM
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| Thus spoke Swami Enchiladanda.... |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Nov 08 2007 : 5:25:42 PM
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Swami Enchiladanda with no expectations..... impressive |
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sadhak
India
604 Posts |
Posted - Nov 08 2007 : 11:30:03 PM
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Hi Sparkle,
There might be another process happening. If you are generally 'laid back' in character, as you move further in practices, you start becoming 'aware' of feelings that you didn't know you had. They were a few layers down there and not very accessed. Now you hit them with all that digging. Suddenly you see levels of expectations, anger, etc., that you didn't know were inside you at all. I am only speculating here based on what I observe in myself and some other practitioners.
Other than witnessing yourself and using self inquiry, which may take time to happen effectively (only because one keeps forgetting to switch to witness from participant), I find that the equivalent of 'reading scriptures', which can mean anything from a thread in this forum to any 'deep delve' book on aspects of spiritual practices can help you to put on the brakes on expectations... till they come up again.
I'm in your boat Louis, so 'you' here means 'me'. At times I'm completely free of expectations, and at times I get a viral of it. Pendulum, I can feel what you feel.  |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Nov 09 2007 : 04:28:00 AM
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They say its a natural process to get rid of your birthname at some time during the journey. Perhaps the time has come...?  |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2007 : 10:43:26 AM
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Hi Sadhak
quote:
There might be another process happening. If you are generally 'laid back' in character, as you move further in practices, you start becoming 'aware' of feelings that you didn't know you had. They were a few layers down there and not very accessed. Now you hit them with all that digging. Suddenly you see levels of expectations, anger, etc., that you didn't know were inside you at all. I am only speculating here based on what I observe in myself and some other practitioners.
Yes, i think you're right, another layer being uncovered.
In this case there is a very practical aspect to it, in that the relationship issues surrounding the expectations have to be resolved, and I am in the middle of it.
So it has been a game of surrender and also observing my own expectations and other people's expectations, and being as objective as I can in this.
This is where the inner silence really helps, to be in the thick of it and still maintain one's equilibrium.
Things are actually starting to work out so maybe the worst of it is over.
I'm learning a lot from this, previously I might have just left this scenario, thinking it was all a bunch of egos playing games with each other and going into aloofness, and extricating myself with grandiose ideas of my otherworldly calmness
Thanks for the support
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No Expectations
