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yogani
USA
5201 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 18 2007 : 10:21:44 AM
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Q & A from a recent email exchange, posted with permission:
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quote:
From: http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....D=1433#10588
Hi Alvin and all:
After a long, arduous and not always happy journey, the meaning of life as I have come to understand it is to help others as best we can, without expecting a particular outcome or payback.
That comes in a thousand forms and degrees. We will know we are heading into the right form for us if we feel good about what we are doing. It is a process of optimizing cause and effect. It is also called coming into our dharma.
For each of us it is about identifying what we are really good at (everyone is good at something) and finding ways to bring benefit to others with our gift, whatever it may be. If we do that with all our heart, the rest will take care of itself.
Spiritual practices will naturally take us in the direction of our dharma. It may not be what we were expecting or planning on, so there can be plenty of grinding of the gears along the way -- it can feel like loneliness as our illusions about life are dissolving. Becoming empty can be unnerving, for sure. But somewhere along the line the impulse to move will come from within, and we can choose to go with it.
In the end, surrendering to what is within us will yield lasting happiness. That is because the flow of life comes first from within. As we learn to let it animate our actions in a creative expression of helping others, loneliness and troubles will gradually give way to an inherent joy. It can happen in the same surroundings we have always been in.
Inner stillness is the foundation of the entire process.
The guru is in you.
Q: Dear Yogani,
When I was reading AYP forums I came across the above post yesterday. I wanted to let you know that I was deeply moved by your words on the quote above. It made me realize how deep your understanding of the spirituality and human nature is. I should admit that the absolute humility with which the above quote was written brought certain humbleness in me. I could feel inside me that your words are true. I was filled with a strange emotion for a while after reading the post.
I want to share some things that were going on with me in the past few years. I work as a software consultant. In the past few years (5 to 10 years), I realized that I lost interest in what I was doing. I do not get satisfaction after I do my work as I used to get. I used to get depressed often (still do at times). I did not know the reason for a long time. I took some pills for a while. After I turned to yoga and meditation I did get some relief and was able to stay out of medications. But I still do get depressed at times for no reason at all. I feel that it is the loneliness inside me that is causing these feelings. You have mentioned that the meaning of life is to help others as best as we can without expecting outcome of payback. I feel that this is the only way I can stay out of the grueling depression cycles that I go through. I feel deep inside a longing to do something else than what I am doing right now which could help others. But I have a family to take care of and I continue on my profession right now. But inside me I feel that this is not really what I want to do. While I keep doing what I am doing, I am not deriving the satisfaction from what I am doing. I become lethargic at times because it does not interest me and fall into the depressive cycles. You were talking about “coming into our dharma”, I feel that I do not have an option but to come back to my dharma since the life is kind of forcing me to get there with the depressive cycles if I do not follow my dharma.
But to get to my dharma, I should know what it is. At this point I only have a vague feeling in my heart (some kind of yearning). Scriptures point out that all work is equal and we just have to do it 100% sincerity. On the other hand the sanatana dharma prescribes duties based on the caste on which one is born. Between all these, how is one to find his dharma? Right now I feel that I have to continue in the profession that I am in to support the life style of my family. But I feel in my heart that this is not my dharma. The yearning inside me to do something different (I do not know what this something different is. May be my dharma?) is very powerful. As long as I do not obey this inner intuition, it is merciless and forces me back into the depressive cycles. The path I am on right now does not seem to be a healthy one. I keep telling myself that all work is equal. Whatever I do is also helping people. So I should do it 100%. But I am not doing it 100%, I just couldn’t. My mind is not in it.
So my question is how can I find my dharma fast? The reason I say fast is because I feel if don’t at least make a move towards my dharma starting right now; I am going to continue to feel depressed. You have also pointed out that it may not be what we are expecting or planning. This exactly seems to be my case. My plan is to stay on my profession and continue to provide the same kind of lifestyle that my family is accustomed to. So, there is obviously some conflict. I can see that the answers to my questions are also given on your post above. You have mentioned that the spiritual practices will naturally take us to our dharma. But I am writing this mail in the hope to get some more information or help from you on this regard. I feel that in order to even do my spiritual practices regularly I should be aligned with my dharma or at least moving in that direction.
I am not sure whether I have communicated my problem well on this email. But I am hoping that you will understand the issue. I just felt like sending this on an email to you rather than posting this question in the forum. But if you want to, you can use this email in the forum in any way that you see fit.
I know how busy you can be with all the books and running the AYP. So, please reply whenever you get a chance. No hurry! I unable to express in words, the gratitude that I feel towards you and AYP for providing these lessons and forum which has helped me tremendously in the past months.
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PS: Just wanted to add to my mail that I felt that your words, “the meaning of life as I have come to understand it is to help others as best we can, without expecting a particular outcome or payback” and the subsequent sentences in the quote sounded like the essence of all the lessons in AYP to me. I felt that this is all everything in this life boils to.
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A: Hello:
My suggestion would be to be patient while continuing your work and spiritual practices, while taking additional opportunities that come along to advance your spiritual progress, like spiritual gatherings, meditation group, study, retreats, developing an attitude of service, etc. If you don't have access to the spiritual group activities mentioned, consider starting them yourself, to the degree practical. In that way you can help yourself and others at the same time.
I spent many years in jobs that seemed not to be my dharma, while spending my spare time on practices, study, spiritual groups and retreats, when able. In the end, I realized that the jobs were my dharma after all, because they played an essential role in bringing me to where I am now, while enabling me to fulfill my responsibilities to my family (we have three grown children, and are now going to be grandparents!). This is why I say our dharma can be right under our nose in our present life and activities. The change is an inner one, not an outer one, and that will happen right where we are, wherever that may be. The important thing is for us to choose our spiritual course within our present circumstances. As we do that each day, all the doors open in time.
So, my suggestion is to count your blessings, face each day prepared to give your best, and always keep an eye out for ways to improve your role as a husband, father, provider, and spiritual practitioner. They are all part of the same thing. That's what I found out.
It will work out through dedication to what is right in front of you. Focusing on excelling in the present (right now, today ) is the best way to secure the future, and be in dharma. It is the only way, because the only thing that exists is right now.
All the best on your path. Enjoy the ride!
The guru is in you.
Response: Dear Yogani,
Advanced congratulations on becoming grandparents! I guess that might be really exciting. Thanks for your immediate reply. You can use my email in any way as you see fit to post in the forum or otherwise.
Your reply was re-assuring. My plan was also to continue on my work and spiritual practices. But there was just a powerful yearning for release from, inside when I read your quote on loneliness. That was what prompted the email. At the same time, I also felt that if I change anything in terms of profession etc, I might end up with the same feeling in whatever new that I do after a while. So, I wonder at times if it is just some escapism from my current environment that the mind wants. At any cost, your mail is pretty clear, especially the part where you say “I realized that the jobs were my dharma after all…” and “The change is an inner one, not an outer one”. I realize now that this is what the scriptures and the sanatana dharma mean when they state that all work are equal and none is better than other. I guess I need to get to that stage. I don’t know how far it is from where I am. But I will continue on the present work and spiritual practices and hope that I will reach there some day.
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anthony574
USA
549 Posts |
Posted - Jun 18 2007 : 12:11:18 PM
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Ah, so Yogani is a grandparent...the veil is lifted a hair on the elusive and mysterious AYP master :)
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Jun 18 2007 : 8:44:10 PM
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Sometimes moving into a different type of job, in your same profession can make a lot of difference.
I moved to a job that takes a lot more brain power, more diplomacy and communication, is often more difficult, and pays somewhat less. But I am much more happy than before. My employer treats me well because he recognizes my honesty and hard work. If you are providing a service that people need, and your employer treats the customers well, you can get over almost anything else.
Yoga is the means.
if you really feel you are in the wrong profession, and some other profession is burning inside you, then you would have the drive to begin the other one in your spare time, while continuing your present job. That's not likely though.
So I think the measure of finding your dharma is whether what you are doing is 1)Serving people and 2)Using your abilities.
It may not be the abilities you WANT to use, but you will find
they are the abilities that other people need. |
Edited by - Etherfish on Jun 18 2007 11:11:39 PM |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2007 : 08:34:16 AM
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Hi All
Beautiful topic 
quote:
At the same time, I also felt that if I change anything in terms of profession etc, I might end up with the same feeling in whatever new that I do after a while
Yes.
The yearning - the longing to do what I am ment to do - for years; i thought too that I had to change the outer. For a long time (for me) - the pain of the longing was necessary to not "slumber away" my life. To not forget to inquire. To not forget to expand. To keep meditating.
As Yogani says - we always focus on the outer. We are trained to do so. It takes time and practise to change this focus.
But eventually.....I understand.
And I see that "what I do" is not it. But rather "who is it that does" ? From where am I acting?
Slowly, I come to see that I am not who I thought i was. This understanding is what I yearned for. And the closer I get to this understanding, the more into my dharma I get. Dharma - as such - is a result. An ongoing constant result. Not a technique.
Dharma happens spontaniously all the time.
What I can do, though, is allow the process. And I can really want it. Through AYP, the obstacles to this allowance are removed at a greater speed than without it.
quote:
So my question is how can I find my dharma fast
We always want to hurry, don't we?
Well, to the best of my knowledge, the only way to hurry in this context, is to hurry slowly. As in AYP.
To always want it, but at the same time accept that it is not my doing.
This way, if I am open and accepting to what is - there is no way Dharma won't find me.
After all - it is already here |
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yogani
USA
5201 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2007 : 12:08:27 PM
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quote:
My plan was also to continue on my work and spiritual practices. But there was just a powerful yearning for release from, inside when I read your quote on loneliness. That was what prompted the email. At the same time, I also felt that if I change anything in terms of profession etc, I might end up with the same feeling in whatever new that I do after a while. So, I wonder at times if it is just some escapism from my current environment that the mind wants.
Just to clarify, if there is a deep desire to make a change to a more fulfilling job, start a business, etc., there is nothing wrong with pursuing our desires. Denying our deepest impulses can be counter-productive. Dharma also means the outer expression of our inner unfoldment.
Other times, change may be thrust upon us, and this is always an opportunity to improve our circumstances, though it may not seem like it at the outset.
When engaged in changes, attend to the necessary details using good common sense, while making best use of time, talent and training. If we are doing our best each day, there is nothing more to labor over. Our spiritual unfoldment is found in our doing, and in our letting go. Stillness in action...
Engagement in effective daily spiritual practices over the long term, while maintaining an active and purposeful lifestyle, assures the outcome in each moment. And that is all we ever have -- this moment. Let's make the most of it.
The guru is in you.
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2007 : 1:05:51 PM
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One of the things that drives people to not practice is the notion that they have to get all their ducks in a row first.....make their situation such where they feel ready to work on the spiritual. Make sure my work's fulfilling, find myself some quiet and peace of mind, some spare time. All I need is to get on a steady keel, get on top of it all and THEN I can get to work solving this metaphysical problem of why I always feel so discontent with my life and environment. :)
There's an insanity there (and we all share that insanity). It's backwards. We meditate to learn to let go to the perfection of What Is...even if What Is means what we presently perceive to be a lousy job. If you could get the perfect job, the perfect wife, the perfect car, the perfect kids, enjoy perfect health, massive wealth, widespread fame, and have 24 hours per day free to work on spiritual practice, with an entire house designed by the greatest designer in the world to have perfect meditation fung shui, and retain four internationally-recognized gurus on staff to answer your every question and guide you through every practice....you'd still be a miserable wretch, and you KNOW it! :) We all would be!
We are all princesses and the world is a vast landscape of peas. Fervidly removing peas, which is how we spend our lives, is futile. You will never ever get your external environment "just right", because another, subtler, pea always appears. We spend our lives scanning the horizon for whatever is not meeting our expectation of how our universe needs to be. It's a form of slavery.
Your job sucks, sure, but not as bad as the vast majority of humanity over history who did menial labor in hot sun for pennies...some of whom were truly happy. You'll never get your job or anything else just right...the happiness you hope might come from a more fulfilling job will remain tantalizingly just out of reach. Theres always another pea. Fulfillment and happiness can't be found via rearranging one's external conditions; it's found via changing internal conditions...and seeing clearly that the universe is perfect but your expectations are skewed. And for that we meditate. With feeling.
If you feel just a bit out of sorts, like you haven't created a sturdy launching pad for practice due to malaise and discontent (and you're certainly intelligent enough to come up with a list of hundreds or thousands of external conditions leading to that condition...much more than just your job), then know that you have been doggedly pursuing a carrot held tantalizingly in front of your face, and that the carrot will forever evade your enduring grasp. If you feel some truth in that, even just a little bit, then great. You CAN opt out of the insanity (which doesn't mean quitting your job and wandering naked...it just means changing your attitude toward the universe)! Meditation offers clarity.
Don't tinker with the world. Tinker with you. You can clear out the discontent and unease that function as a shawl overlaying everything that ever happens to you, creating a feeling of disconnection from the loving flow of it all (or, at very least, creates the impression of "dead spots" in your life, though you live entirely within that very flow).
I am.................... |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Jun 19 2007 1:09:20 PM |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2007 : 7:44:53 PM
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quote:
"So my question is how can I find my dharma fast?"
The fastest way is to have the strongest desire, devotion, bhakti to reach your highest ideal.
If you want to make a quantum leap today, then build that desire to the boiling point, then make a big decision with conviction and feeling, that you are going to do whatever it takes to be at peace with the dharma in front of you, and accept it for what it is. Then take action on that from that point forward.
look for that peace as you do your job, and try to see why you are there.
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What I was trying to say earlier is that it is possible to be hanging on to the wrong job. Many people don't like their job, but do it for the money, for the family, out of laziness. The most common excuse is "I can't make this kind of money doing anything else." So that's when you have to examine your situation. Maybe you can make somewhat less and make big changes that are worth it.
Maybe you can work more, make less money, but be much happier.
There are a lot of options if you don't idolize money.
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In case people from other cultures are wondering about the pea in Jim's post above, it refers to a fairy tale where a princess couldn't sleep because there was a pea under her mattress, but she kept piling on more mattresses instead of removing the pea.
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This subject rings true for me. I have a job now that is perfect for me because I am serving the most, and use my abilities the best.
But there are certain parts of my job that are incredibly stressful, and several times i have thought of quitting because of the stress.
And yet, the job i had before wasn't very stressful, but was boring and I wished for challenges.
Now i have lots of challenges, and lots of stress!
So I decided the only answer was to meditate more so I could live with the stressful situations and not let them bother me.
It has been working perfectly! |
Edited by - Etherfish on Jun 19 2007 7:46:12 PM |
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machart
USA
342 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2009 : 11:47:37 PM
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Quite an interesting thread...
I think being passionate about your work is one of the most importsnt keys to happiness.
Joseph Campbell said it best..."Follow your Bliss!" |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 03:21:46 AM
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got nothing to say but thank you guys, the topic and the posts are beautiful.
thk you machart for opening up this thread again.
light and love,
Ananda
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 03:51:00 AM
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| Very useful topic,thanks! |
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mikkiji
USA
219 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 2:42:31 PM
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My guru told me that dharma was action supported by nature which results in evolution toward enlightenment. He said to never do anything we knew to be wrong, always try to maintain orderliness against the tendency of the world toward chaos and to meditate twice daily. That's the foundation, and with that in place, it's normal that your Dharma will find you. One must remain awake to one's intuition, whereby dharma could well be revealed, as well as awake within silence. My dharma, teaching disadvantaged children, took me in hand 20 years ago and brought me to such a place of peace and light. I did not choose it or find it, it picked me out and showed me in, in no uncertain terms. My guru said that the mechanics of this was that by living a good honest and compassionate life while meditating every day, we raised out level of deserving until we deserved to have our dharma revealed to us...
Michael |
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Konchok Ösel Dorje
USA
545 Posts |
Posted - May 07 2009 : 7:35:34 PM
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| Your circumstances are your dharma. |
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spinal_tap
Indonesia
40 Posts |
Posted - May 17 2009 : 12:43:25 AM
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| Jim and..your karma, just reading and understanding your post there is already one big step up for me. Thanks. |
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Finding our Dharma?
