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jillatay
USA
206 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 25 2007 : 2:16:05 PM
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Dear Katrine and Christi,
Hi. Interesting that you are discussing crown stuff. Yesterday my meditation went very deep and I woke in the night with some activity in the area of the crown. Because AYP councils not to go there I spent at least an hour trying not to focus on it and instead going to the ajna. Somehow this all seems wrong to me to split off and negate any part of myself. Of course I don't want a full blown crisis on my hands because I have people who depend on me (children) and need to be functioning for a few more years. I appreciate Yogani's helping me to purify my nervous system but these episodes are confusing me. I feel that cotton in the head and it is not that pleasant. I feel some ecstatic conductivity and yet my mind is a whirling mass at times. I have quite a bit of "scenery" but it is intermittent, sometimes wonderful filling me with awe, but not stabilized.
I have been meditating for about 5 years (not AYP until about 3 months ago). However, when I was younger I meditated and had a very profound opening, knew very stable bliss, love, etc. but closed it down for reasons which I will not go into as it would require too long a post. Then I had no fear of the crown because I didn't know I was supposed to.  I didn't really focus on the crown either though.
Before coming to AYP I would meditate a LOT (not with a mantra) and would get "symptoms" (cotton or pressure) in the head and staying with it just would not clear it out and I was not making any steady progress, just occasional mind blowing states. My Bhakti is strong and I long to return to the bliss and inner stillness. I have to force myself to self pace.
You both obviously have genuine fruits of practice and wonder if you can give me council? I would appreciate it very much.
Thank you so much,
Jill |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2007 : 4:38:10 PM
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Hi Jill
quote:
Because AYP councils not to go there I spent at least an hour trying not to focus on it and instead going to the ajna. Somehow this all seems wrong to me to split off and negate any part of myself.
Yes, I know what you mean.
For me, going to the Ajna instead, triggered even more ecstacy (as it stimulated the root).
So - what finally worked for me was to not psychologically "meddle" with what took place. AYP doesn't say that it is wrong for things to happen at the crown; it just states that deliberately putting the attention there is not necessary (and can cause much unnecessary trouble until the later stages in the process). Through pranayama and deep meditation, the opening of the crown happens by itself.....by proxy. Deep meditation alone can do this.
Let what happens at the crown happen; but don't "probe" into it out of curiosity. Of course...you will still be very aware that something is going on up there. This is perfectly fine. After all; awareness is your nature. You can't "do away with" that awareness. This will immediately cause fragmentation inside; you will feel separated. However - the crown activity per se is not what you are either. So what you can do, is to rest within yourself. Let what happens happen; and know that you are that in which all takes place. Allow everything - but stay with the awareness itself. Just be here....don't "go" anywhere in particular; don't "not go" anywhere in particular. Stay with yourself. Does this make sense?
quote:
Then I had no fear of the crown because I didn't know I was supposed to. I didn't really focus on the crown either though
That's it!
To not be either interested nor disinterested in what takes place there (or anywhere else in the body), is what helped me the most.
I do believe that i have had unnecessary fear of the crown (as this topic shows). I guess this is the other side of the coin, when you ask people to be cautious. Nowhere does Yogani tell us to be afraid, however.  On the contrary; he says "enjoy".....but "practise wisely". Without Yoganis advice on self pacing (including not focusing on the crown), i would have crashed a year ago. I came within an inch of that several times, and the body suffered for it. The fear is dissolving now (thanks to the help I get in the forum); so everything is fine.
I have meditated for more than 20 years; and my best advice is to continue to do deep meditation. Regularly....twice a day. Unless you get signs of overdoing. Then you must self pace. Deep meditation is the heart of AYP; allow yourself plenty of time to get used to this alone. 3 months is not a lot; but this varies with everyone. Some are ready for additional practises sooner than others. When you feel stable in deep meditation, you can add pranayama.
All the best, Jill |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2007 : 8:57:50 PM
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Hi Jill,
Great post from Katrine above, which really covers it all.
quote:
I spent at least an hour trying not to focus on it and instead going to the ajna. Somehow this all seems wrong to me to split off and negate any part of myself. Of course I don't want a full blown crisis on my hands because I have people who depend on me (children) and need to be functioning for a few more years. I appreciate Yogani's helping me to purify my nervous system but these episodes are confusing me. I feel that cotton in the head and it is not that pleasant.
I would only add from your statement above, that you are likely feeling the "cotton in the head" because of the extra 1 hour you spent focussing on the ajna. If you notice activity in the crown that is fine, it is going on a lot of the time for many of us here. If you would like to ensure that you stay grounded and if you find the crown activity distracting, I would recommend thinking of your feet each time you feel fear of thinking of your crown. It has always been a good method for grounding for me.
Good luck!
A
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jillatay
USA
206 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2007 : 10:23:55 PM
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Thanks Katrine and Anthem for your reply to my question.
No, the cotton feeling comes to me when I do deep meditation but only on "good days"  I spent the hour focusing on the ajna because I thought if I didn't I would have no choice but to go to the crown. Focusing on the feet is the same as on the ajna. Both seem artificial to force myself not to notice the crown which is so obviously there! BTW this happened in the middle of the night so I didn't get up and walk around. I have done that in the past and it helped. I guess I just got scared because of all the dire warnings here and forgot all the things that help ground.
Katrine I will follow your advice and simply let it be without probing into it but also not to split off from my experience which intuitively seems amiss. After all we are seeking union not fragmentation, right?
I should have mentioned that I do the 20 min twice a day very consistently and also added pranayama right from the start of 5 to 10 min. There have been times where the pranayama really balanced out the energies and other times I know I just have to do only 3 breaths and that is plenty. I learned the hard way not to do pranayama at night if my meditation schedule is delayed as I won't sleep well. So last night I only did the 20 min deep meditation and POW! woke up around 2:30 a.m. with a huge surge that startled me out of sleep. Then I had to just ride it out until it calmed down. These can be harrowing to say the least.
Thanks again for your help,
Jill |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2007 : 03:25:33 AM
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Hi Jill
Sounds like you are managing just fine.
One thing, though:
quote:
So last night I only did the 20 min deep meditation and POW! woke up around 2:30 a.m. with a huge surge that startled me out of sleep.
This alone, would have me reduce the meditation time for a while. Try meditating 10 min instead of 20. See if that won't calm things down. Do this for a few weeks; when you are stable again, you can gradually increase the time.
Good luck!
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Christi
United Kingdom
4429 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2007 : 12:44:05 PM
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………
Hi Jill,
I agree with Katrine, I think you are doing just fine .
I started experiencing things like you describe about three years ago, a year before I started AYP practices. I would wake up in the middle of the night with tons of energy coming in through my crown. I had no idea what it was, but for some strange reason, I knew that it was O.K. and that I would be fine. It would stop after some time. It still happens sometimes now. I am aware of the energy when it happens, and of the crown. As you say, sometimes it is impossible not to be aware of the crown. You've got this bizarre energetic thing with petals on rising up on top of your head, and energy streaming out/ in through it, how are you going to not notice that?
But for me it doesn't happen often, and it never seemed to destabilize my practice. I feel like it is more about what we do daily, during our formal practices, than what happens occasionally outside of practices.
So I shouldn't worry at all... in fact (as Yogani would say) it seems like good things are happening .
And, contrary to popular belief, there are crown practices in AYP ! I know... shock horror.
You may be interested in reading this thread from 2005 started by Anthem about adding root to crown bastrika to his practice. Yogani's second post is very interesting.
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....TOPIC_ID=590
Christi
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Edited by - Christi on Apr 27 2007 01:30:47 AM |
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weaver
832 Posts |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2007 : 10:35:19 PM
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Wow Christi and Weaver, thanks for digging that link up, what a gift for me, a little bit of time travel!
I have to say that it is serendipitous timing, having just written a post here about the period I went through of chasing energy experiences. Case in point as they say or is it point in case, I can never remember...
At the time of this link that Christi points to in Weaver's post above, I had just finished up what I would call an initial energy opening phase with lot's of friction yielding lot's of ecstasy and was looking for this (ecstasy) to continue. Crown Bastrika at the time, stimulated the crown chakra for me, likely sucking up additional energy debris and giving me the sensation of ecstasy etc., as the energy passed though with friction in the unrefined nervous system. Pretty much exactly what Yogani alluded to in his incredibly patient posts.
The long and short of it was that my momentary play with "Crown Bastrika" fell away after a month or so of use and I fortunately wasn't sidelined that I can remember or at least for very long with over-doing symptoms.
Today I wouldn't even contemplate going directly to the crown as the AYP practices become more powerful the further you go along. There is a lot of purification happening there all by itself, by proxy, as Yogani says, by virtue of all the usual practices. In fact I have had to pace Cosmic Samyama somewhat as I find this practice to be very crown stimulating.
I hope my yesterdays explorations and mistakes will save someone some grief today!
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Christi
United Kingdom
4429 Posts |
Posted - Apr 27 2007 : 01:33:46 AM
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Hi Weaver,
Thanks.. I fixed the link. I found a link that worked without the word crown coming up bright yellow every time!
Christi |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4429 Posts |
Posted - Apr 27 2007 : 01:49:25 AM
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Hi Anthem,
Good to hear from you.
quote:
At the time of this link that Christi points to in Weaver's post above, I had just finished up what I would call an initial energy opening phase with lot's of friction yielding lot's of ecstasy and was looking for this (ecstasy) to continue. Crown Bastrika at the time, stimulated the crown chakra for me, likely sucking up additional energy debris and giving me the sensation of ecstasy etc., as the energy passed though with friction in the unrefined nervous system. Pretty much exactly what Yogani alluded to in his incredibly patient posts.
The long and short of it was that my momentary play with "Crown Bastrika" fell away after a month or so of use and I fortunately wasn't sidelined that I can remember or at least for very long with over-doing symptoms.
Are you saying that you practiced crown bastrika for a while partly because you wanted to keep the ecstacy going (because it feels good), and partly to clear some remaining obstructions, but after that it wasn't useful at that time? Or was it that you felt you would become unstable (overdoing symptoms) if you continued with it?
quote:
There is a lot of purification happening there all by itself, by proxy, as Yogani says, by virtue of all the usual practices. In fact I have had to pace Cosmic Samyama somewhat as I find this practice to be very crown stimulating.
I also find this. I tried cosmic samyama two or three times, and then thought "wow, that is moving things big time". So I stopped doing it. I think Yogani says in the Samyama book that taking up this practice depends a lot on how much purification has already been done at the crown. For me, in terms of it's effects on the body and nervous system, it is a crown practice. And it seems to be a more powerful crown practice than simply bringing the attention to the crown for the same duration.
Christi
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Edited by - Christi on Apr 27 2007 03:14:38 AM |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Apr 27 2007 : 09:56:45 AM
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Hi Christi,
quote:
Are you saying that you practiced crown bastrika for a while partly because you wanted to keep the ecstacy going (because it feels good), and partly to clear some remaining obstructions, but after that it wasn't useful at that time? Or was it that you felt you would become unstable (overdoing symptoms) if you continued with it?
Looking back, I believe that my primary motive was to keep the intensity of the ecstasy, that I was experiencing at the time, going because I thought it meant I was progressing if it was. I think I feared that if I did not feel the energy with the same intensity that things weren't working properly or as effectively. This is not true.
On the contrary, the "quieting down" of this initial bells and whistles stage for me was the beginning of a long refining process which I didn't realize at the time was a good thing.
In the back of my mind I did have the thought about clearing away more obstructions so this was a lesser motive to some extent. Now that I reflect on the time line, I realize that my crown practices fell away as I had to scale back all practices from having delved pretty aggressively into self-inquiry at the end of that year. The openings that the self-inquiry accelerated made all my practices much more potent, hence the scaling back.
We have to be cautious of "mind's" attempt to micro-manage our practices. It is good to keep it global and to make changes very gradually over-time. I definitely loved to experiment when I first started AYP, finding the extremes, going over often, playing with this and that. It lead to having to self-pace a lot of the time, it was a good learning experience, but the ride would have been much smoother and I am willing to wager I would be in the exact same space/place I am now!
Hope this clarifies.
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Discussion on Crown
