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Chard
250 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 11 2007 : 4:39:37 PM
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Ohhh this is soo embarrassing for me to post this kind of sex stuff  but I REALLY need some guidance so I just have to swallow my pride and sit with the embarrassment...
Here it goes... so I got off of the birth control pill a few months ago after being on it for 10 years and during the time I was on the pill my sex drive was minimal. At certain times of the month and especially after I began spinal breathing its been very strong. The other day I was having sex with my husband (actually we weren't even having sex yet, just foreplay) and I was super aroused to begin with and I just got to the point where the ecstasy was so great that I got lightheaded and I felt like I was going to pass out. My body got tingly and numb and I think I started to see white. I lost the connection with my husband and with my own body. I then stopped because it just got to be too much to handle. I knew I'd pass out if I continued- its was a bit scary.
Now I posted about this lightheadedness about a week ago and I didn't get a response under the Bhakti section. What I had said was that there was an incident when I experienced an enormous amount of unconditional love and also felt this lightheadedness as well and I was wondering why this happened.
So I haven't had sex or sexual acts since this happened, frankly cause I'm scared the intensity of the ecstacy will be too much to handle. This has never happened to me during sex. I just hope it is not some premature crown opening or something. I've self-paced my meditation practices as well. So does anyone have any feedback? I haven't read up yet on tantra so I don't know how to proceed with sex at this point especially after what happened the other day. I obviously also want to stay connected with my husband and continue having sex with him! I'm looking forward to hearing from you all...
Be well,
Chard
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yogani
USA
5249 Posts |
Posted - Mar 12 2007 : 1:58:36 PM
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Hi Babaly and Chard:
You are both asking essentially the same question (here is the other).
Paraphrasing both questions:
What to do with all this extra sexual energy that can overwhelm me to the point of fainting, or knock me off center for a month if I release it in orgasm?
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If the energy build-up is related to spiritual practices (apparently so), then the excess can be regarded as the purification process getting ahead of itself. Too much energy without sufficient opening of neurobiological channels in the body for it to flow freely through the nervous system to express as increasing ecstatic conductivity and radiance. No doubt some of the conductivity and radiance is occurring already, but there is much more, and the energy is welling up and banging into the present limitations.
In the case of a man, venting the energy occasionally in orgasm can help, along with self-pacing in practices, applying grounding methods, and so on. It is the same as kundalini symptom management.
Self-pacing and grounding methods will apply in the woman's case also -- reducing the upward energy flow until a stable balance between energy flow and the ability to conduct the energy is reached. This means backing off on stimulative techniques like mudras, bandhas, siddhasana, kumbhaka, etc. Self-pacing could also involve temporarily backing off on meditation and spinal breathing, if the upsurge is there with only those practices. And applying the grounding methods, of course. You have to find out by experiementing with all of these means.
What seems different here is the lesser role the "pressure relief valve" orgasm approach seems to have. In fact, it may take a woman in the other direction in terms of excess energy. Not being a woman, I do not have an answer for that. Perhaps other women who have been through this can chime in. Does female orgasm relieve excess energy in the nervous system, or increase it? (In some cases it does relieve it -- but apparently not in all cases.) In cases where it increases it, then how does an advancing yogini handle the excesses?
Whatever the answer to that may be, it will be good to emphasize that this is an aspect of purification and opening going on, and, as with all such openings, the adverse symptoms will pass as purification advances and a higher manifestation of the energy emerges. In the meantime, it is a matter of self-pacing and managing the excesses in whatever ways we can, while continuing forward with our process of purification and opening.
If the energies can be brought into balance, one would think normal sexual relations would be possible according to one's desire, and even doing so tantrically. How this situation relates to engaging in tantric sexual methods is another question. Maybe this can be one of those "for the ladies" discussions from which we all can learn. 
All the best!
The guru is in you.
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Mar 12 2007 : 3:01:07 PM
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Hi All
quote:
Perhaps other women who have been through this can chime in. Does female orgasm relieve excess energy in the nervous system, or increase it? (In some cases it does relieve it -- but apparently not in all cases.) In cases where it increases it, then how does an advancing yogini handle the excesses?
Yes. Female orgasm does relieve excess energy in the nervous system. But it is a double-edged sword......because it can also stimulate further arousal.......as if the Bakhti increases afterwards. One trick is to release the orgasm before the energy build-up gets too strong (release it before intercourse). Then, you might be able to have sex without the lightheartedness. Also - be aware of the last 1-4 days before the menstrual period - these are the days when the energy has a tendency to skyrocket; when it takes very little stiumlation (or none at all) to set it off. Grounding is important during this time. Exercise. Walking is good.
From my own process:
I don't recommend using orgasm as the way to deal with energy excess, though. I always experienced a heavy emotional let down ("depression") when i tried it. Avoid pranayama when the energy is strong. Shorten your meditation time. Often 5 min is enough to connect with inner silence....which will help to balance the energy in the body (without increasing it). 10 min is too much. |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Mar 12 2007 : 4:35:13 PM
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quote:
- One trick is to release the orgasm before the energy build-up gets too strong (release it before intercourse).
- Then Also - be aware of the last 1-4 days before the menstrual period - these are the days when the energy has a tendency to skyrocket
- I don't recommend using orgasm as the way to deal with energy excess, though. I always experienced a heavy emotional let down ("depression") when i tried it.
AMEN to that!
However, I find it most crucial to separate between vaginal (and/or fountaine) and clitorial orgasm. Vaginal orgasms (with or without fountaine) have the effect on me to calm me down for a short period of time, but rather than draining energy it is transforming sexual energy to more smooth love energies rising up the spine. However, I reload very quickly and I feel an increase of energy which is lingering as a constant sexual arousal for a long time. Vaginal orgasms can come from tantric energy solo practices or spontaneuous energy movement whenever (sometimes very embarrassing when in public, during a meeting or during teaching a class... ) or via penetrative sex using whatever tool, not necessarily a penis. However the effect is very much stronger with a penis joining in with universal powers... 
Quick clitorial orgasms released before too much energy is built up is very draining, and clitorial orgasms in general do drain my energies, even if released when heavily aroused. A severe depression is coming afterwards with certainty (the dopamine drain is really causing severe disturbances in the brain). I try to avoid that as much as possible.
By the way, I think you are brave to overcome your embarrassement on writing about sex.  Thank you!
And... may I ask, when you feel that enormous arousal and ecstacy... where are your thoughts? Are you focusing on the arousal and thereby increasing it? Or are you able to find stillness? Are you in stillness when you start foreplay? That was the trick for me. I have had the most wonderful experiences when I manage to stay in stillness during caressing. Then there is no need for sex anylonger... There is only a beautiful merging of energies and bodies... that touches the very essence of life... undescribable...
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Edited by - emc on Mar 12 2007 4:38:46 PM |
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Chard
250 Posts |
Posted - Mar 13 2007 : 11:15:34 AM
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Thank you Yogani, Katrine and EMC for you responses! It's alot of info for me to absorb right now but what I am going to take from that right now is to decrease my spinal breathing from 5 min. to 3 min. (I was so excited that I finally got up to doing 5 min. but apparently I might need to go back down, grrr!) I think I really need to focus on doing more active physical exercise. So I'm going to make that a point to do so in these upcoming days. Also, if you don't see me for the next couple days posting it is because sometimes these conversations increase my excess sexual energy, so I might need some time to just get myself more grounded. I hope this thread continues and I'll be back soon enough!
Love to all,
Chard |
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AccidentalYogi
21 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2007 : 8:10:31 PM
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I just wanted to point out that eventually these practices become unnceccesary.
From what I understand realized yogi's/beings etc have no need for any of these practices because they have already achieved union.
I suppose that is why self pacing is such an important concept. You're already a spiritual being so you probably don't need that much reminding.
Personally my practices have decreased to a minimum naturally and I've honestly never been happier in my life. I spent my spring break doing manual labor and its been the best vacation I've ever had.
In other words don't worry so much about the need to let go of your spinal breathing. It's evidently already done the trick. Perhaps your were too attached to the idea of these practices and this is just spirit helping you overcome that.
Namaste |
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Chard
250 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2007 : 8:29:48 PM
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Thanks Accidental/Yogi! Just hearing this is helping me to let go of the concept of doing more advanced practices. It's a good reminder that wherever we are in life is perfect and ultimately the spirit knows what it needs to do. It's a perfect process when we just surrender to it.
I've actually read some of your other postings and I like your perspective on things -namely your posting to IcedEarth about keeping a positive perspective and creating her own reality- I agree with that.
Thanks again!! Be well |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2007 : 2:09:28 PM
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Great to hear, Chard! And I am very glad my experiences of stillness and sex helped you. Actually, the idea is wellknown, and Yogani mentions it very briefly in his Tantra book. I learned the most of the idea and technique from Barry Long. His books "Making love", "To woman in love" and "To man in truth" are goldmines if you want to understand more of the union man-woman. Later on I learned a lot from Marnia Robinson on www.reuniting.info, who from a modern biological perspective could explain what is actually happening in the body. In short - you go from dopamine kicks to oxytocin pleasure when you transform sex to love in stillness. It is just as addictive as wild sex, but it leaves no back-lash!
You can read more about my experiences here
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....TOPIC_ID=724 |
Edited by - emc on Mar 17 2007 2:45:35 PM |
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Chard
250 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2007 : 6:03:59 PM
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| Thanks emc! I'll check it out |
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lightheadedness and orgasm
