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gumpi
United Kingdom
546 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 07 2007 : 09:40:49 AM
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Greetings,
As i am progressing with mantra meditation i have noticed that i am getting better at returning to the mantra again and again. I presume this is a state of good concentration? I try to do 2 things - relax a lot and bring my mind back to the mantra when i notice it is off.
Now, what i am noticing is that my thoughts are VERY subtle. As if i am almost not aware of them - they pop in, i immediately notice them (they could be about anything) and go straight back to the mantra, again and again. I don't think much with visuals, more like words. But the thoughts that come up seem almost subconscious, if that is the right word.
Expectations play a big part in my mental speech. So i will think, "relax" or i will think "back to mantra with no stress" or i will stare into the darkness of closed eyes trying to see any lights but immediately saying, "no expectations" and so on and so forth.
So i seem to have two types of thoughts. The first is random thoughts, the second is expectations.
I don't think i am trying too hard to concentrate. I think it is worth mentioning that i make I AM sound musical because i have a musical mind where i often find catchy pop tunes playing in the background. By making the mantra musical i can shut out this music to a certain degree.
Relaxing isnt always easy for me because i feel pressure in my head due to anxiety, which i can only surmise is because i drink and smoke regularly. However, if there is less stress in my life and i get enough sleep, this problem doesnt really surface. And i believe that my nightly drink and smoke isnt overpowering me too much so that i can't meditate during the day.
Something i wanted to know was, the 20 minutes standard doesn't seem long enough. Why is 20 mins insisted on? I can lay down completely still without moving a muscle easily for 20 mins, but whereas in the past i used to feel my body would become like "numb" even though i knew i could move it, now i feel more body conscious.
Is meditation supposed to be conscious sleep? If so, 20 mins doesn't seem enough for me to relax into that state.
In any case, apart from one meditation i had that was good a few weeks ago, i generally get up from meditation feeling drowsy and relaxed but still very much aware. The meditation i had before was better somehow because i dropped all expectations, and after i got up from meditating i felt warm inside and happy. So i am a bit concerned that there is no more to meditation than this drowsy/relaxed state. |
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yoginstar
Netherlands
78 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2007 : 5:28:22 PM
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Hey Gumpi,
I have had the same or similar experiences today and yesterday. I think a book that might interest you is The Way of the White Clouds (a Buddhist book but I currently forgot the author). No need to read it though, your subtle thoughts will catch it like that I am sure. Twenty minutes, at least in my experience (but I am new at this practice) makes sense, for otherwise you do do get stress in the head. The minute the stress gets into the head, call it a headache, it is not from smoking, nor from the alcohol, it is from opening up too much. Tense it down again. At least that's what I found out yesterday, just the idea of selfpacing of Yogani: tense it entirely and bring it DOWN, like in NOW. That will keep your head clear. At least it did for me. Another way that might help is to immediately change direction, the moment you feel getting lost, getting out of it, or getting stressed up, a very sane way would be to just turn 180 degrees around, I mean physically. It has to do with the lights in the retina of the eyes.
Love to you.
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Christi
United Kingdom
4429 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2007 : 02:28:43 AM
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Hi Gumpi,
quote:
As i am progressing with mantra meditation i have noticed that i am getting better at returning to the mantra again and again. I presume this is a state of good concentration? I try to do 2 things - relax a lot and bring my mind back to the mantra when i notice it is off.
Now, what i am noticing is that my thoughts are VERY subtle. As if i am almost not aware of them - they pop in, i immediately notice them (they could be about anything) and go straight back to the mantra, again and again. I don't think much with visuals, more like words. But the thoughts that come up seem almost subconscious, if that is the right word.
This sounds great!
It wasn't that long ago that you posted to say that nothing was happening in your meditations and you were fed up. Now you are getting to subtle levels that people work hard for years to get to. You will be entering absorbtion states soon .
On the twenty minutes question... are you just doing the IAM meditation or are you doing other AYP practices before and/or after it? If so which ones?
Christi |
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Mike
United Kingdom
77 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2007 : 03:25:35 AM
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Well I am not an AYP practitioner (yet  ) but I have to say this "tense it down" sounds an odd suggestion?!
I think one has to be very careful about using the word tense in any spiritual practice especially meditation - I dont recall having read Yogani ever suggest that... [I stand to be corrected].
As for gumpi's question - as I understand it in AYP one does 2x20mins a day meditation - are you doing it twice a day or just once?
As to concerns that the meditation experience is this or that the only requirement is to follow the practice - sometimes it will feel like this, sometimes like that - it really does change over time depending on what is going on inside cleansing-wise.
Re the sleepiness one very useful piece of advice I took away from here for my own practice is to have a good rest after meditation - maybe lie down for 5-10mins... This way the processes of cleansing (which are leaving you groggy) can naturally wind-up and leave you with more resources for the brain-on-back-to-the-'real'-world state 
peace
Mike |
Edited by - Mike on Feb 08 2007 04:05:18 AM |
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gumpi
United Kingdom
546 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2007 : 08:08:21 AM
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Hi Christi, wow your words sound encouraging! I have to admit that i don't know if i am good at meditation because i have smoked a lot of pot before. I tend to think not, but i guess i am just quite good at it naturally. I have meditated on and off for 4 to 5 years so perhaps i had a head start:)
Mike, i rather enjoy the groggy after-state! But i see what you mean. It seems that awareness is key to much of this meditation business and so we would want a clear fresh state of consciousness to nuture.
I am very unregular in my meditations so i can't say i do it 2 times a day. Some days i will meditate 4 times a day, then the next day nothing. I realise this is very poor but i would rather not meditate some days because my head hurts more. And i want to kick my addictions first.
I'm quite aware of just practising for practice sake and having no expectations. I wonder though, how are we to experience God if we have no expectations?
I haven't incorporated spinal breathing or anything else yet. I have experimented with kriya yoga in the past so i know the technique very well. The good thing about this technique is that there are so many different things to focus on that the mind has no time to worry etc, so i could do spinal breathing without having to focus on the anxiety sensations in my head. Really, i need to work on my addictions because i am probably throwing too much "dirt" into my system than the meditation can take out. There are AA places around here, which i went to once and hated. But i am in an environment now where my Dad drinks and encourages me to i suppose to let himself off the hook. I live near to a place where pot is readily avaliable and i have reached a stage where i cannot drink without smoking and vice versa. The thing about going to a retreat or monastery is that i smoke cigarettes and i like my cigarettes! Company, for me, is stronger than will power but i don't have the means or know how to get that company. So i am guessing that the more i meditate etc the more chance and only chance i have to beat these problems.
I hope i am right about the subconscious idea. Perhaps the thoughts just seem subtle but they are my conscious mind. It is very difficult to tell. |
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Kyman
530 Posts |
Posted - Feb 10 2007 : 04:51:22 AM
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My initial practice started while I was taking medications, and smoking. But as with any and all habits, through the conditioning process you purify the nervous system enough so that it becomes dependent only on its inner spaces of energy and bliss.
The habits will die off, but the time it takes can be long or short. There is no way to know, and it isn't up to you. However, the degree of your bhakti, I'm sure, can transcend any time amount. You can make quantum leaps of progress, or rather, the One can, if you don't try to be a spare tire.
The first half of my life has been addictions, and family addictions, and now I have diverge into my own path. Such is the way for all of us.
Allow yourself to be as you are, and you will develop as fast as you are able. |
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Subtle thoughts
