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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 09 2007 : 1:42:27 PM
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1. I'm getting more and more aware of (and therefore more and more sensitive to) impatience. As I drive, wait in lines, etc, I grow very aware of the impatient energy of those behind me, and it's hard for me to negotiate. It feels like aggression to me...which is actually what it is, though in mild form. I do realize intellectually that people are just slaves to their impulses and can't help it, but as I get more sensitive to the energy of these aggressive impulses, they trigger my primitive brain centers and feel like I'm being attacked.
One solution is to just let everyone always pass me everywhere, but that's not real pragmatic. The other is to stand my ground forcefully, but I'll wind up getting into brawls when people cut me off on the road or in lines. I'd love the energy to just go through me transparently, with me aware but not "triggering" or acting on the energy, and to simply/mildly let those who need to cut me off do so. But while I'm transparent on some things, this is harder, because reacting to aggression, like reacting to sexual attraction, is so deeply hard-wired into our emotional centers. It'll be a long time before I can consistently disengage and detach from those two things.
Anyone experience this and have a solution?
2. I keep missing planes. Thanks to AYP, anywhere I am and whatever I'm doing feels more or less as good as anything else. I'm not in a spacey fog of bhakti bliss, but I just can't get real riled up and tense about getting to the airport on time. I find myself talking to people, etc etc., aware that I'm late but not acting on the awareness. I'm not sure this is entirely a bad thing (it usually just means standing by on the next flight, and I can use the airport down time to practice yoga or to work), but I could use some sort of "patch" to make stuff like this go smoother. |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Jan 09 2007 2:06:03 PM |
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Hunter
USA
252 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2007 : 3:11:55 PM
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Hello Jim,
Good subject, I have been thinking of this as well.
I do not have your solution, necessarily, but I'll share what I am doing.
In the online Aikido journal, I read about a police officer who used principles of Aikido to diffuse a situation involving an aggressive citizen. The officer did not do anything physical though, he applied the principles to his use of speech and mental persuation.
I like the idea of learning to flow and dance! with a potential oncoming aggressor (of any form, such as some of our aggressive thoughts). This is not yet a reality for me, but I am practicing. |
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blujett8
USA
47 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2007 : 4:37:21 PM
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quote:
2. I keep missing planes. Thanks to AYP, anywhere I am and whatever I'm doing feels more or less as good as anything else. I'm not in a spacey fog of bhakti bliss, but I just can't get real riled up and tense about getting to the airport on time. I find myself talking to people, etc etc., aware that I'm late but not acting on the awareness. I'm not sure this is entirely a bad thing (it usually just means standing by on the next flight, and I can use the airport down time to practice yoga or to work), but I could use some sort of "patch" to make stuff like this go smoother.
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Jan 09 2007
hi jim......my experience has been that I'm more and more able to respond with "perfect" timing as things arise and without having to think about anything really...it all flows....not all the time, but I think the deeper the pratice becomes, the more this is so. Once I went away on a healing/spiritual trip....I received/experienced profound energy shifts while there and my vibe was held at a much higher place than what is ordinary for me. I can say with certainty that I was more present and alert than ever...I got to my plane exactly on time without a thought and met everyone I needed to on the way...It was an incredible flow that I have not achieved since. I was not about to miss anything...I sincerely feel that it was not even a possibility....weird, huh? |
Edited by - blujett8 on Jan 09 2007 4:49:42 PM |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2007 : 8:19:14 PM
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I feel this impatience/aggression also. When driving, i just ignore it. i tell myself I don't live in the world they live in, become extremely grounded, and don't really care. i just turn my attention to everything else.
If it is in line at a store or something, just say anything at all to the person it is coming from, and it usually goes away.
You can say "Long line isn't it?" Or look at the time and roll your eyes at them indicating understanding; whatever. Just communicate something.
People usually feel aggression, impatience, or road rage when they can direct it at a non-person; someone they don't know. As soon as you say anything to them you're not a non-person anymore.
Also when driving just a quick wave at the person does the same thing sometimes. It's like recognizing you're holding them up, and thanking them for waiting. Often the impatience goes away. |
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Hunter
USA
252 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2007 : 9:53:55 PM
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quote:
People usually feel aggression, impatience, or road rage when they can direct it at a non-person; someone they don't know. As soon as you say anything to them you're not a non-person anymore.
Hey I like that Ether, that is really good advice that I will surely use. Nice and simple too. |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Jan 10 2007 : 12:32:26 AM
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Thanks guys!
I'm compelled to insert a note:
quote:
Originally posted by Jim and His Karma
I do realize intellectually that people are just slaves to their impulses and can't help it, but as I get more sensitive to the energy of these aggressive impulses, they trigger my primitive brain centers and feel like I'm being attacked.
....which shows that I, too, am a slave to my impulses! :) |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Jan 10 2007 12:46:21 AM |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Jan 10 2007 : 12:59:14 AM
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quote:
hi jim......my experience has been that I'm more and more able to respond with "perfect" timing as things arise and without having to think about anything really...it all flows
But amid that flow, you're no longer paying heed to niggling and unessential details, correct? I mean details that pre-practice might have really fixated your attention. You're not sweating the small stuff as you flow.
My problem is that making the plane or not has become small stuff.
I observe people in airports... dying to get on the plane, queueing up and jostling for position to wait in the jetway to go inside and sit static for hours. Then the plane lands and they get up and angst forward against a shut door. Then they press desperately against empty luggage carousels. then jostle for taxis. This whole getting from place A to place B just strikes me as sort of odd and funny. What's the pay-off? When do they really ARRIVE???
Even when I was really wrapped up in the drama, I almost never found that arrival was, like, SUCH an improvement, y'know? And now that I"m less wrapped up in it, I don't find three hours in an airport waiting area (waiting for the flight after the one I missed) any less liveable than time spent anywhere else. I mean...in comparison to what? What's the final arrival point? What's so much better about there than here?
I'd like to preserve that equanimity...but make the plane, too! |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Jan 10 2007 01:59:37 AM |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Jan 10 2007 : 01:03:11 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
People usually feel aggression, impatience, or road rage when they can direct it at a non-person; someone they don't know. As soon as you say anything to them you're not a non-person anymore.
Also when driving just a quick wave at the person does the same thing sometimes. It's like recognizing you're holding them up, and thanking them for waiting. Often the impatience goes away.
Thanks, Ether. But just to be sure I'm clear...I"m not talking about driving or walking slow (I do both real fast!), fumbling for stuff, etc., and having people get impatient with me or my behavior. I mean something less personal than that. Just the aggregate psychic weight of The People In Back, irrespective of all other factors. |
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Chiron
Russia
397 Posts |
Posted - Jan 10 2007 : 05:56:30 AM
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1. Imagine that you are taking the energies of impatience and aggression from the people around you and in exchange give them your refined energies. Then purify those energies during your meditations.
2. Set an alarm.
3. Seek answers to such questions from within your own heart. |
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Wolfgang
Germany
470 Posts |
Posted - Jan 10 2007 : 09:17:42 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Jim and His Karma
I find myself talking to people, etc etc., aware that I'm late but not acting on the awareness. I'm not sure this is entirely a bad thing (it usually just means standing by on the next flight, and I can use the airport down time to practice yoga or to work), but I could use some sort of "patch" to make stuff like this go smoother.
Do you feel a need to talk to these people ?
Do you feel that the people need the talking ?
Do you feel that you are giving them something when you talk ?
Are they draining energy from you ?
Just something to ponder and clarify.
Love and Light
Wolfgang |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2007 : 09:03:56 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Chiron
1. Imagine that you are taking the energies of impatience and aggression from the people around you and in exchange give them your refined energies. Then purify those energies during your meditations.
2. Set an alarm.
3. Seek answers to such questions from within your own heart.
1. It's all I can do to purify my own self. I'm not, like, so much holier than the crowd. I've just learned patience. I haven't learned emotional transparency. So the patience differential is leading to an emotional reaction in me. And I'm having trouble figuring out how to deal with it. It really comes to a head when someone actually cuts in front of me. Again, I could just let everyone who wants to cut do so (I'm patient enough for that, but it'd just lead to ridiculousness), but the alternative, to hold my ground, doesn't work too well, either (I've nearly gotten into fights three times in past couple months when people cut ahead). I don't know the way out. One possibility is to not come into the city (where the population density makes the problem worse). But that seems defeatist.
2. Much happens between alarm and flight.
3. Nothin' (though one could easily go through these boards pasting in that same suggestion - "get the answer from your heart" - in response to every single query, no?) |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Jan 11 2007 09:07:51 AM |
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VIL
USA
586 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2007 : 12:09:04 PM
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Hey, Jim, I still struggle with the same problem and I think it doesn't have anything to do with gaining patience or being emotionally transparent. Otherwise, these same situations wouldn't continually be cropping up. In my opinion, you're creating a separation, a duality, between yourself and other people and you're further exasperating the problem by creating another separation; [as you originally surmised, that it was a lesson of patience, but you've conquered patience, so the lesson must be an issue of emotional transparency]. To me, it's none of those things.
What if it's something as simple as the fact that you didn't feel that it was right that someone cut ahead of you, in the first place, and you didn't say anything, but opted to go with the flow and be patient? What if you did speak up at the first occurrence and let the person know that they shouldn't have done that and the person said, "Oh, I'm sorry, my mother has cancer and I was in a rush to get to the hospital and didn't realize that you were standing there. I'm so sorry, I'm not in my right mind"? Wouldn't your perception of those people then change?
I'm not saying that people will sit back and say something profound that may question your view of every situation, and maybe someone will act like a jerk, and possibly bully, but that's something that you have zero control over, but it still doesn't negate the fact that you have to do what feels right, inside, as a situation immediately presents itself or you will have built up resentment, attached to the situation, that may cause you to overreact, when a similar circumstance occurs.
It's been my experience that if you look at it from the point of view that maybe the person isn't in their right mind and has something pressing to deal with, then you will feel more at ease and your method of dealing with them will be from a place of concern, not anger, and you'd be surprised how someone reacts. "I'm sorry, I was in line ahead of you, are you in a rush?". Or maybe you could make a joke, with a smile. "All you had to do was ask and I would have been happy to offer my spot." You'd be surprised how easy it is to make a point without putting a person on the spot, which may lead to an altercation.
Anyway, this is something that I've dealt with, Jim, and I'm presenting my perspective, not to judge you, but to have you look at it in a different light:
VIL
Edit: I wanted to add, that I had a situation where this guy took my seat when I was out with friends and purposely tried to pick a fight with me. Yeah, I was upset, but I decided a different approach and said you can have my seat, smiled. After a few minutes, the guy angrily said to me, "I'm sorry, my brother just died of cancer". [That's why I used the above example]. We talked, he cried, and we grew from the experience.
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Edited by - VIL on Jan 11 2007 12:31:47 PM |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2007 : 1:20:42 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Jim and His Karma
"...a separation, a duality, between yourself and other people and you're further exasperating the problem by creating another separation"
Yup. Ok, I see it now. I need to dive into the impatience, rather than separate myself from the crowd. Right now, I'm experiencing teeming impatient crowd versus patient, enjoying-the-moment me. Which means I'm not truly enjoying the moment...I'm enjoying some idealized moment that's somewhere/sometime other than in the impatient present. I need to find a way to enjoy the *impatience* of the moment, feel it for the energy that it is (all energy is, in the end, generic), rather than be put off by it.
It's funny how we get caught. I thought I'd learned the lesson that you don't enjoy the universe selectively - picking and choosing the tasty bits. But that's what I'm doing, isn't it? My spiritual patient waiting is being horridly jarred by all that ugly negative energy that needs to NOT BE THERE! :)
If you start recoiling, you find more and more to recoil against (trying to get things JUST RIGHT!), until you're only really living a few seconds per year. Which is the whole problem. The delusion starts when we make the preference in the first place. It all just is....as it is.
Ok, let me go find a supermarket line to wait in, and see if I can immerse gleefully in the vibrant impatience...
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VIL
USA
586 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2007 : 1:21:52 PM
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Jim: Ok, let me go find a supermarket line to wait in, and see if I can immerse gleefully in the vibrant impatience...
LOL
Maybe you will be standing behind an eighty year old woman who's gingerly placing cans of cat food, on the counter, that she'll be having for dinner, because her insurance barely covered the pain medications from her hip replacement surgery and there's no one that's able to shop for her. If so, as she hobbles out to the parking lot, see if she can offer addt'l insight on the value of impatience.
[wink, wink]
VIL
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Edited by - VIL on Jan 11 2007 1:28:29 PM |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2007 : 1:29:03 PM
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VIL, I like and agree with your notion that sometimes emergency or desperation can be mistaken for impatience.
But really? It's usually just plain impatience. :) |
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VIL
USA
586 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2007 : 1:32:12 PM
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Just having some fun with you, Jim:
VIL |
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Two Real World Problems From My Practice
