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KM90
Greece
1 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 15 2016 : 8:17:57 PM
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For the last week I found myself in great deal of emotional ups and downs, feelings of despair, heart racing and general negativity.
Here is some information for anyone who wishes to help and advise:
My symptoms generally come and go during the day, they seem to come later in the day when sun sets and when I do mantra meditation they hit hard. I m certain it is from intense spiritual practice while neglecting almost completely worldly things, it is ridiculous now that I write all these, I become aware how much I messed up.
I am 26 male living, next to my parents, in a house provided from my parents, I thank them for it but my desire is to leave. I have no job at the moment.
I retain semen for every 15 days or less each time, some days I try to have orgasm without ejaculating.
My spiritual practices include mantra meditation 1 session 30 mins, I started with the mantra OM and changed it a month ago to RAM. Breath meditation 1 session 30 mins. Chanting multiple times a day and once a day lifting the sky qi gong. All these my friends are day in day out. I also was channeling my emotions to God, like Bakhti.
December 2015 I read the book from Yogani, the one with the lessons and till then I was a nervous person not being able to find peace. So I practice for around 3 months.
I practice kung fu but I have stopped it almost completely for 1 month now, I have stopped going outside socialising, the times I go out is for a short walk for my dogs.
I sleep irregular times and I often oversleep, I cant seem to have the will to wake up. Tried to fix it many many times and I end up to the same..
I feel embarrassed to how I treat my life.
I started on December with the motivation to find inner peace and I got it, I was going out, practicing kung fu 2 hours a day, doint mantra meditation twice daily and lifting the sky, but video games got me the last two months and I abandoned worldly activity. When I say I stopped going out I mean it, now I see how this was driving me crazy along with the excessive energy building from spiritual and semen retention.
Yesterday I took the decision to change it, so I plan to keep the spiritual practices, stop channeling emotions and going outside to practice kung fu twice a day and focusing on starting a business as I intended before all this happened. My self has a feeling that if I do this worldly things, money girls I betray God.
I had much hate in my heart and now I feel love, sometimes huge waves of love after a panic attack I got 2 days ago. My fear is I don't want to feel hate again and lose my inner peace, that is why I am unwilling to give up spiritual practices but if someone experienced advises so I will. :)
As you can see I have no mentor, and my self tends to overdo the things he wants. I started the quest for inner peace and ended up devoting completely to God, so please offer your light to balance my self, do you believe my solution is good? also I have a light noise like ringing from when I started meditation but never bothered me, is it from kundalini? |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Mar 15 2016 : 8:43:31 PM
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Hi Km90,
I'm certain you can balance things out. What rings most true to you? KungFu? Yoga? Worship?
The combined isn't working so well. If you decide yoga is your path, there's AYP books and the $10 a month plus site available. If it's KungFu or worship, I( personally) am not skilled in either.
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Dennis
USA
83 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2016 : 02:24:11 AM
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I'll tell you what most will tell you. Start AYP beginning at the first lesson and do it twice a day without skipping days. In addition I would stop all the others until AYP starts taking effect and then add the others slowly if you have to. AYP is complete, nothing else is needed.
If you read posts here, you'll see people in all stages of practice coming from different types of spiritual practices. They all praise AYP.
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2016 : 12:46:38 PM
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Dear KM90,
Welcome to AYP. Sorry to hear about your problems. Are you sure this is only from the last week ?
Positive side, you can see that you are out of balance. Maybe you are mixing to much practice, this can make you feel irritable during the day. It is important to have structure in your life.
Go out, socialize, take a long walk every day with the dog, look people in the eyes and smile. Even if you are not happy  it helps.
Next to this eat proper food and maybe you can help others voluntary till you have a job?
Maybe take a few weeks off with spiritual practices.
If you are attracted to AYP, you can read the first lessons and start a short practice two times a day. It is not adviced to mix spiritual practices.
Do what you love, what makes you happy, if that is kung fu, do it with your whole heart.
Wishing you balance, 
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