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tiangong
USA
4 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 10 2015 : 8:34:32 PM
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Hello, I'm new to this forum and this site. I'm grateful to find it. I've been in the throes of kundalini rising for about 2 years now and last December I ended up seriously destabilized and was hospitalized. I was able to calm the rising for about 5 months, but recently it has happened again and is quite strong. My question is that I read a lot about the pain of the shakti releasing blocks is usually softened by the blissful and ecstatic feelings. I feel a lot of movement in my body (inner winds and liquid fire sensations (vata and pitta?)) and experience a lot of pain, as well as states of altered consciousness that can be terrifying or very open and alive depending on my fear or openness determining how I interpret them, however I never feel blissful physical feelings. I just experience a lot of burning and pain and movement and undulations. I practice mostly meditation, but at this point it is just happening all the time and my life has become a strange play of coming and going through various states and physical sensations. My memory has become awful. I do yoga and qi gong but since the kundalini arose again last month (very intensely) I feel strangely heavy but really strong and like my body is undulating all the time so qi gong has become difficult because I feel like a piece of moving seagrass.
My question is, is there some practice or practices I could be doing to bring more bliss into my rising and more stability, so there is less fear and pain and anxiety?
Thank you so much in advance for any and all suggestions. This has been such a challenging practice and I haven't been able to find a teacher to guide me through.
Peace and light. |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2015 : 04:07:13 AM
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Hi Tiangong,
Welcome to the forum.
I am sorry to hear about your problems. On the left menu you see a lesson kundalini assistance, lesson 69. That lesson of Yogani will give you more insight in what is happening.
I can tell you from own experience that it is a process with ups and downs, sometimes big ups and sometimes deep downs.
What I also know is that it will pass. Take care, take rest if you need it. For me was very important, grounding activities, like walking, go out in nature, having social contacts, and later asana to bring balance.
It is your own energy that you feel, so do not be afraid of it, as long as you are afraid, bliss has no change. What I did if I felt fear and anxiety was go out for a walk and then it went away. Fresh air helped me, taking some deep breaths in nature, surrender to the feelings.( At that moment I didn't know it was kundalini and I did not do any form of yoga.)
Could you tell what you do for meditation practice?
In your situation self-pace is important.
You find the right place for your questions, the lessons give all information, and on the forum, you can ask whatever rises up. 
I wish you a smooth journey  
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2015 : 12:09:49 PM
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Hello tiangong,
Charliedog has already given good advice.It looks like you are going through premature kundalini awakening. I went through this myself and didn't know what was going on at that time.
It's a good idea to stay away from all spiritual practices. Please engage in grounding activites- walking, eating heavy food-meat, spending time in nature, engaging in worldly activities as much as you can.
Below are few lessons regarding this energy. The first lesson 69 should help you with your questions.
http://www.aypsite.org/69.html
http://www.aypsite.org/125.html
http://www.aypsite.org/83.html
Sunyata
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jonesboy
USA
594 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2015 : 12:13:16 PM
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Hi tiangong,
The most important is to strive for inner silence. Most often you will experience it during meditation first.
Second thing is to not want it. That will always keep it at arms length.
There is something that you can do that will help with your symptoms and let you experience what you wish.
The energy you feel in your body during the day or when kundalini is active. Just reside in that and let everything go. Let all thoughts and sensations continue on with out you grasping onto them.
This will help integrate your obstructions, increase separation from thoughts which also leads to ecstasy.
Hope this helps,
Tom |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2015 : 4:54:12 PM
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Ground. Get in touch with Mother Nature. Walk barefoot. Swim in water. Exercise.
The body nurtures the mind, and the mind nurtures the body. The door swings both ways.
You have to plug into Earth substantially before you shoot off into the cosmos. You dig?  |
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tiangong
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - Jul 14 2015 : 1:53:51 PM
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| Thank you all for responding! I read lesson 69 and did some of the spinal breathing practices for about 4 minutes and it made the energy really intense but it seemed to stabilize and I did some yoga for about half an hour. I do spend a lot of time in nature, get lots of exercise, the trouble is that I cannot rest. The sensations are so disturbing to me, even when I try to surrender to them (sometimes I am successful), a part of me just won't let go and tells me they are going to make me crazy. So then I just try to work with the scared thoughts and soothe them or just let them go and try to stay in the open state, but I find my mind just gets more and more confused as the day goes on. My mind feels spacey and like I can't remember things or think right. My memory is absolutely gone now. It's almost like being on drugs where everything appears new and foreign, yet I know it deep down somewhere if I can access the information. It interferes with my ability to work. The sensations almost never stop. I feel like I'm in a continuous state of samadhi (not blissful) or concentration that I don't know how to get out of, sometimes it feels like a trance and I find it hard to focus my eyes and things get really blurry and sometimes it feels absolutely clear and crisp and super alive. But I have a really hard time not focusing on the feelings and that just seems to intensify them and take me deeper into the focused energy. I'm not actively doing much meditation, just trying to let go and surrender to the intense feelings and the pain I feel when I rest and cannot sleep. |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Jul 14 2015 : 3:32:21 PM
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You're welcome . Keep up the grounding. It's been 5 years and finally things have settled. Yes, I've been through all the symptoms you describe and more. One more thing I wanted to share- When I feel ungrounded during normal activities- I image roots growing from my feet to the earth. I would dance and sing when just being and letting go didn't help. Don't think of the energy too much (I know it's hard not to).
Are there hobbies you enjoy? This may sound vain but I would watch makeup tutorials on you-tube to keep me grounded as well . |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jul 14 2015 : 3:57:15 PM
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| Writing about your physical surrounding may also help. Just simply describing what is in front of you can be very grounding (mentally and physically). You can also mix your feelings and integrate the whole picture. |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Jul 14 2015 : 4:40:00 PM
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| When the energy is high as you attempt to drift off in sleep, I find falling into a "deep sleep cadence" (as if already in deep sleep) and a complete surrender to the idea the energy is assisting your body to rest. This affirmation often makes actual sleep possible, and the body rested even when the duration of sleep was compromised. |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2015 : 01:54:45 AM
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Food also has his influences. Balancing pitta and vata. It might help you to read the ayurvedic lessons, or ask advise at an ayurvedic therapist. I found this out years later, It is not easy to change food and drink habits but I noticed a big difference. It gave more peace and balance.
As Bodhi also mentioned, writing was and is one of my best tools. Writing gives deep insights in myself.
The pen works as the inner guru.
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Edited by - Charliedog on Jul 15 2015 04:09:25 AM |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2015 : 10:23:35 AM
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| Great advice from everyone. Have you asked the energy to back off a little bit? |
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tiangong
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2015 : 2:32:59 PM
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THank you all for your care and helpful suggestions. Yesterday I really worked with trusting the energy (since it's my own) and surrendering to God in the discomfort and I had a really powerful session and had some blissful feelings. It was pleasant and afterward I was exhausted and felt like I was hit with a truck. But that passed quickly. But by last night, the energy started up again and it was stronger than ever and it feels like someone is blasting my sternum and chest with a firehose of water and it makes me feel so overwhelmed and I can't let go into it. I try but it's over my heart and it just makes me resist it. So then I'm in agony for hours. And the more I focus on it, the stronger it gets of course.
I'm wondering, I read on this site that the energy is supposed to run up the back and then down the front but it really feels to me like it's pouring up the front and hitting my diaphragm and sternum. Am I don't something wrong. Should I just let the energy be or try to redirect it. I have tried talking the the energy and asking it to calm down, but it doesn't work.
THank you all again for your care. THis is the hardest thing I've even done.
Everything I read says to find a teacher to help you. HOw does one find a teacher that knows about this sturff? Do you all have teachers? |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2015 : 5:59:38 PM
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Inevitably, there will be a kind of looseness that arises. Tension is fine, but tension will dissolve into looseness. So what you need to do is ask yourself in an easy way how you can loosen up a little bit so the energy can flow properly.
For me, it's a combination of things: working my 40 hours a week with a little gusto and pizzazz, playing the guitar everyday (with and without fellow players), doing Deep Meditation and Samyama, writing, reading, throwing the frisbee, going to AA meetings, talking to AYP friends, lending a helping hand when asked for....etc., etc., etc.
There's so many ways to fill in the blanks, and the ways are often more accessible than you imagine. You have to loosen up a little bit and dance through life. My ex-wife was a trained ballerina, and she made me realize that life could be an ongoing dance, even off the stage.
When energy is plugged into creativity, there are much less blockages. I have no idea what your routine and free time are filled with, but watching lots of TV and playing video games probably won't do the trick.
Jesus said: "For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." The energy, or Holy Spirit, is moving through you. Breathe, relax, and have a little fun with it! |
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parvati9
USA
587 Posts |
Posted - Jul 21 2015 : 12:33:13 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
... Have you asked the energy to back off a little bit?
Hello Tiangong
I wanted to expand on Sunyata's great advice and tell you a little about my own spontaneous k awakening.
For the first few years, I didn't know what was happening to me. Nevertheless, gradually a kind of rudimentary communication with this energy was developed, prior to awareness of what it was. I experimented with a lot of things to improve my situation. If I had known about grounding techniques, it would have helped immensely. But as it was, I discovered some of them on my own just through trial and error.
Besides the grounding, which is paramount ...
Overall, there were two attitude adjustments that were critical in tolerating the k awakening. First and most important: Trust the process. There is a huge difference between surrendering to the energy and fighting it. Fighting it doesn't work at all and usually makes the unpleasant symptoms (purification) ratchet up. Second: Talk to the energy. Once you are committed to trusting the process, begin to negotiate with it. Try it and see if it works for you. As Sunyata says - Ask the energy to back off a bit, and see if it helps. Once I accepted the energy and my intent began to modify it, I noticed immediate positive results. For example, I told the kundalini energy that the ecstasy would be wonderful if it was reduced about 90%. And it was reduced somewhat; a compromise was reached. Over time, the experience refined itself and my comfort increased. I believe my input and cooperation tended to expedite the energy refinement... and therefore my happiness.
I think it is necessary to let the k energy know that while you won't be fighting it, you will definitely be working with the energy to enable the best possible modifications to the program.
Best wishes
love
parvati
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parvati9
USA
587 Posts |
Posted - Jul 22 2015 : 09:25:51 AM
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Further clarification of the above. Whether cultivated or spontaneous, k awakening is indicative of a major shift in consciousness, equipping us for rapid acceleration in spiritual evolution. It may be perceived as a very forceful movement of the Divine Mother (or Mother Nature) ... enormously magnifying our energetic level of functioning. We can feel an urgency to the awakening. And without it, we would perhaps find ourselves unable to resolve the challenges confronting us both personally and globally. It could be bringing the human race to a quantum leap in global consciousness. Imo it is a priceless gift, though initially difficult to accept. However there is little choice but to accept it, to dance with it. Fighting, fearing, or pushing it away - none of these are effective.
Where we are going is mainly determined by the process itself. But how we get there depends on our efficiency in partnering (or dancing) with the process.
love
parvati |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Jul 22 2015 : 2:14:24 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by parvati9
Further clarification of the above. Whether cultivated or spontaneous, k awakening is indicative of a major shift in consciousness, equipping us for rapid acceleration in spiritual evolution. It may be perceived as a very forceful movement of the Divine Mother (or Mother Nature) ... enormously magnifying our energetic level of functioning. We can feel an urgency to the awakening. And without it, we would perhaps find ourselves unable to resolve the challenges confronting us both personally and globally. It could be bringing the human race to a quantum leap in global consciousness. Imo it is a priceless gift, though initially difficult to accept. However there is little choice but to accept it, to dance with it. Fighting, fearing, or pushing it away - none of these are effective.
Where we are going is mainly determined by the process itself. But how we get there depends on our efficiency in partnering (or dancing) with the process.
love
parvati
Thank you Parvati, I share your opinion in this. |
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painful kundalini rising
