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zyxwvuts
Australia
9 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 09 2015 : 09:13:26 AM
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I'm not sure what's wrong with me lately. A few weeks ago I started feeling a sense of derealisation on odd occasions, like when out in public, eating, etc. This is combined with some anxiety, to varying degrees. It seems like it's been persistently there since 3 weeks ago, but it varies in its intensity.
At the moment I'm noticing it quite a bit, and I decided to lay down and breathe in for 7 to 10 seconds, and out for 11 to 20 seconds. Just some light breathing. Then at one point while I was doing this, my mind felt like it was about to fall apart, so I got worried and went back to breathing more frequently.
On another occasion where I tried this, when I felt this way, I noticed when I looked at the ceiling, it looked as if it was breathing. I used psilocybin over a month ago, but I felt fine for a whole month leading up to this. Is there any chance it could be related? The 'derealisation' and anxiety feel so similar to how I felt when I used psilocybin, and I heard it's a common thing to notice the walls breathing when you use it.
Any ideas on how I might work with this? I'm reluctant to go out, because the anxiety seems to be worst then.
EDIT: I guess one way I could describe it is I feel like my mind's going to 'jump out of my body'. |
Edited by - zyxwvuts on Jul 09 2015 09:24:07 AM |
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So-Hi
USA
481 Posts |
Posted - Jul 09 2015 : 11:16:55 AM
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| I feel for you but lacking experience with Hallucinogens can only guess that it is the cause please contact the member Bhodi Tree here on this site as far as I have observed he is an excellent person to communicate with on these topics. |
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Jack
United Kingdom
305 Posts |
Posted - Jul 12 2015 : 11:06:24 AM
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You're OK 
You'll be OK. This will pass!
Lay off anything mind altering for a while. Eat clean, drink plenty of water, exercise. These medicines are very powerful and need to be approached respectfully. Perhaps there is still some transformation/movement happening following your trip. Don't analyse it too much. Take time to be really kind with yourself. Do grounding exercises like chi gung. Go for long walks in nature. Do you have any close friends you can spend time with comfortably?
Perhaps Bodhi or Carson can weigh in. |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Jul 12 2015 : 1:26:53 PM
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Hi zyxwvuts,
It sounds to me like you have begun to break down the conditioning that keeps awareness bound to the body. This isn't uncommon nor is it something to be concerned about.
Whether this shift is the result of entheogenic use or the result of yoga practices doesn't matter IMO. What matters is how you choose to move forward. Holding on to the belief that this isn't normal, that this should not be happening or that "your mind is going to fall apart" will only increase the anxiety and possibly the frequency of occurrence. My suggestion to you would be to accept that this is happening, embrace the new sensations and allow the experience(s) to take whatever direction it needs to take without trying to steer it. Choosing not to fight the experience (this principle can actually be applied to every moment) will significantly decrease any anxiety and allow you to relax into the moment and likely gain some new insight into your journey.
Hope this helps.
Love,
Carson |
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zyxwvuts
Australia
9 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2015 : 8:50:46 PM
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Thank you for your replies, I've been doing qigong every day for 22 days and I've tried being more accepting, but I'm still not too sure what's been wrong with me. One thing I've noticed is if I go on a swing, I'll feel motion sickness, and I've never had that before, I just feel more 'off' than I used to.
Yesterday I ate some asparagus and I think there must have been something wrong with it, because I came down with diarrhoea two hours after eating it, and when things like that happen it makes me think like "what if I'm going to die?". I think I feel more sensitive to things, than I did before I tried mushrooms, and I feel pretty anxious. I notice things like how I'll die some day, or how nobody's really 'on the same page' with regard to health or anything and ultimately I'm just alone, and it really bothers me whenever it bubbles up into my mind. That kind of thing never really bothered me before. :-/ |
Edited by - zyxwvuts on Aug 12 2015 8:54:11 PM |
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zyxwvuts
Australia
9 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2015 : 9:15:30 PM
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| I guess it just gets to the point where I'm like "I want this to end" and I start to want to die, I had that when I did mushrooms. It feels like I get it now whenever I'm sick. |
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Dogboy
USA
2242 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2015 : 11:43:19 PM
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| Zyxwvuts, are you still doing mushrooms? What are your yoga practices? Do you think this could be a mental health issue? |
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zyxwvuts
Australia
9 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2015 : 04:17:59 AM
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Dogboy: I haven't done mushrooms in a few months. I used to practice pranayama and some different postures, but recently I've been more interested in Qigong, after following up on Jack's suggestion, so I haven't done any yoga practices in a while.
I think it might be a mental health problem, but sometimes it feels like it's related to (or triggered by) physical problems, so it's hard to tell. Maybe slightly mental, slightly physical? |
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Dogboy
USA
2242 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2015 : 06:20:47 AM
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Yoga practices and/or mushrooms are not safe for those compromised by mental health issues as the side effects of changes to the neurobiology can bring on instability and/or confusion. For your own piece of mind you may want to confer with a professional to rule that out first. There is no shame in knowing for sure.  |
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zyxwvuts
Australia
9 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2015 : 06:23:24 AM
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| That's the weird thing, like before I took mushrooms, I'd have said I was fine, mentally. But I had a panic attack during my first trip, then started noticing the anxiety more and more in my life after that. |
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Agitated subconscious?
