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 Discussions on AYP Deep Meditation and Samyama
 irritable/depressed after meditation
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brucey1

United Kingdom
3 Posts

Posted - Mar 17 2015 :  04:07:19 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
Hi, I'm hoping someone can help. I've been doing 10 minutes spinal breathing and 20 minutes deep meditation twice a day for about three months. It started off great, my mood improved, as did my confidence. I was thinking "I" on the in breath and "AM" on the out breath (I now understand that we shouldn't attach our breath to the mantra).

On one occasion where I accidentally let the mantra slip away from my breath, I felt a beautiful feeling throughout my body and found myself in infinite inner space, it was beautiful, but I couldn't maintain it because it was so distracting. This was not a good thing, because in the long run I have longed to feel this again and it made mediation difficult for about a month.

I'm back on track now but I'm really quite depressed, which is the feeling I wanted to rid myself of in the first place. I'm having very lucid dreams, almost nightmares. I think there is a hell of alot of purification to be done, years of drug abuse, grief regarding lost friends, dark periods at the ends of relationships; I'm kind of hoping that the reason I am depressed and irritable is the purification, but if it is then how long will it go on for? I'm not sure I can hack it for too long.

I sit or lie down for a few minutes at the end of meditation.

Also, I've tried kundalini yoga a couple of times, and it was very powerful. Is it okay to go to the odd class and maintain deep mediatation, or would this be too much?

I'd be really grateful for some advice :)

Edited by - brucey1 on Mar 17 2015 04:23:50 AM

jusmail

India
491 Posts

Posted - Mar 17 2015 :  07:23:35 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Welcome to the forum. Mixing both practices could be hazardous right now. If you feel it is a lot to handle, you can reduce it to say 5 min of SBP and 15 minutes of meditation. If that still triggers undesirable feelings, you can redue further. I hope you are doing it twice a day too. That would also help smooth things out.
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BlueRaincoat

United Kingdom
1731 Posts

Posted - Mar 17 2015 :  07:45:34 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
hello brucey1, welcome!

Seems a self-pacing issue to me. I agree with Jusmail, it's not a good time for adding a new practice and doing kundalini yoga in parallel is not a good idea as you an very easily overload. If you are a beginner, better stick to one system.

Yes, there seems to be a lot of purification going on. Since you are uncomfortable, it's probably tie to cut back on the meditation and SBP time, see if that brings more balance in your daily life. Practices have a delayed cumulative effect. That is why we sometimes need to reduce the length of our sittings. Purification and progress will continue, have no doubt about that.

I hope you will find the practice level that is sustainable and continue your yoga practice with more comfort.

All the best!
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compassion

87 Posts

Posted - Mar 17 2015 :  08:07:10 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I would add to the good advice above just to suggest experimenting with lying down after practices for longer than a few minutes. For some people this resolves irritability and depression.
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Dogboy

USA
2242 Posts

Posted - Mar 17 2015 :  08:21:08 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
This too shall pass, Brucey. Keep your practice simple and consistent, and dial it back if it becomes too intense. Try not to dwell on the negative effects, see if you can observe them "at arm's length" and let us know how it goes.
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Blanche

USA
867 Posts

Posted - Mar 17 2015 :  09:00:48 AM  Show Profile  Visit Blanche's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi, Brucey! Jusmail and BlueRaincoat have some good advice about how to handle overload in DM. My advice follows the direction pointed by Dogboy. Deep Meditation gives you access to your unconscious, bringing up all kinds of memories, thoughts, feellings, a vortex that could be disorienting and distracting. I think that these "dreams" are one way to bring the unconscious material to awareness. Deep Meditation "turns on the light" in the basement of the unconscious. What you "see" inside is not always pretty. But as you discovered, the pretty stuff (good experiences) is just as distracting as the nightmare stuff (bad experiences).

My first two years of DM were full of these "lucid dreams." They gradually lost power. Just "watch" what is coming up, without judgement, without attachment, like watching a slightly boring TV show. You feel sad or happy when you get involved with the show. So try not to get too involved. You are only a witness to a show, or maybe an actor who plays a given role in the world drama. You did not make the show, you are not directing the show. Anyway, this inside show is only a sideline, your main, more important business is purification - favoring the mantra. The more focused you are on the mantra, the less distractions, and the less troubles with other things coming up in meditation. As Yogani says, "Take heart!" What you go through shows that you are making great progress. The DM is working. Good luck, and let us know how it goes!

Edited by - Blanche on Mar 17 2015 11:35:53 AM
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kumar ul islam

United Kingdom
791 Posts

Posted - Mar 17 2015 :  09:25:35 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
i use an app called insight timer you can increase, decrease ,practice time by minutes and seconds for me it really helps maintain my practice aswell as pacing it ,when i feel too much blockage i reduce for a period then i increase by small amounts sometimes by only 30seconds i hpe this may help you.
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brucey1

United Kingdom
3 Posts

Posted - Mar 19 2015 :  3:53:04 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Thanks guys, what a great forum :)

I've started to get headaches and I'm feeling quite spaced out all the time. I've cut down to 10 minutes DM, but from reading some other posts on here I'm wondering if it's a blockage. When I was doing spinal breathing I had no problem going up the spine but it often felt like there was a blockage on my lower back going back down.

If I cut it all out completely will it sort itself out? I've had to stay off work because I can't get out of bed on a morning.

At least I've learned a valuable lesson about over-doing things!


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BlueRaincoat

United Kingdom
1731 Posts

Posted - Mar 19 2015 :  4:28:05 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Brucey

Not being able to go to work sounds serious and something clearly needs to be changed.

What I do when I overload is cut out all the energy practices and fall back on breath focused meditation + asanas. You will find instructions for breath meditation in Lesson 367 (second half of the page). If you can do 20 minutes of it twice day, that's good, if it's too much cut down to 10 minutes. In fact, if you're in difficulty it might be better to do 10 minutes sessions and if you're stable there increase by 5 minutes till you get to 20.

It probably is a blockage and increasing the energy level will increase the discomfort. So stick to meditation only for now. If your lower back feels uncomfortable during meditation or the rest period afterwards, just hold that sensation in awareness - don't fight it, don't try to do anything to it, just cradle it in awareness. That will help clear up the blockage.

I'd also try some asanas that bend and stretch the spine. They might help the energy flow in the problem area.

Take care. Hope it smooths out soon.
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LittleTurtle

USA
342 Posts

Posted - Mar 19 2015 :  11:51:29 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
And don't forget the rest period after practices. Sometimes that makes all the difference. I do 8 to 10 minutes minimum.
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brucey1

United Kingdom
3 Posts

Posted - Mar 21 2015 :  09:38:51 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Ok, I think I've cracked it! I read about dilating your throat to release the energy. I wasn't sure what this meant really and tried contracting various muscles in my throat, all the while getting nowhere and also getting more and more desperate and I have to admit, I very nearly gave up on myself.

BUT I just sat and breathed deeply, not through my nose but through my mouth with my mouth wide open (which opens up your throat) the pressure in my forehead has dropped substantially and I feel the only relief I've felt for well over a week.

This brings up more questions for me though. I have sinus issues could this be affecting my meditation? Also, I seem to close my throat off when I meditate while breathing through my nose, I'm worried that my physiology won't make proper yogic breathing possible.

Thanks ever so much for advice all you. Ifs really refreshing to see so many people just helping each other along and not an ego in sight :-)
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Dogboy

USA
2242 Posts

Posted - Mar 21 2015 :  10:33:04 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
This brings up more questions for me though. I have sinus issues could this be affecting my meditation? Also, I seem to close my throat off when I meditate while breathing through my nose, I'm worried that my physiology won't make proper yogic breathing possible.



I beg to differ that breathing through the nose closes off the throat because that is not the case. By "sinus issues", do you mean you cannot breath out of your nose at all?Perhaps you are tilting your chin down which is engaging jalandhara banda, which intentionally locks the throat. You are overthinking this and "tinkering under the hood"; micro-managing the process is a sure way to get lost from what works and what doesn't. I wouldn't deviate from the process as outlined by Yogani. I've had to breathe through the mouth during stuffy noses, but return to the proper breathing when it is available.

If you are experiencing headaches, I would reduce practice time, and like others said, get good rest at the end. I would also engage in some grounding techniques (use the forum search engine for specifics) and make sure you engage with others or nature after practice. Chances are your neurological system is making adjustments as your practice progresses, so you need to allow your body to incorporate these changes and self pace. Good luck to you Brucey
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BlueRaincoat

United Kingdom
1731 Posts

Posted - Mar 21 2015 :  12:42:44 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Have you considered Neti? it's good for clearing up sinus problems.

You can breathe through your mouth as temporary measure, but in the long run in would be good to clear the nose passages.
Good luck!
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